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The People Who Fuel Your Passions
Who are the people who fuel your passions—the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time? For me, there are so many. There are five different types of such people: passion igniters passion inspirations passion pals passion partners passion enablers (And read on to the end for one other important type…) 1. Passion Igniters Your passion igniters are the people who set your passions ablaze in your life. Here are some examples: For me, I fell in love with soccer in part due to a fiery and intense coach, John Goetz, who led our “Choppers” youth soccer team
The Problem with Not Having Boundaries
How well have you been setting boundaries lately? Have you been proactively defining how others should treat you? How about establishing limits for yourself that you commit to respecting? Are you clear on what you’re willing to accept or tolerate—and consistent in enforcing it? Having boundaries is essential for both your personal and professional wellbeing. Boundaries serve to protect you, enhance your wellbeing, and provide a sense of control over your life. Unfortunately, it’s not easy—at least not for most of us. Setting and maintaining boundaries can be difficult because it often requires saying no, risking conflict, or disappointing others.
How to Practice Acceptance When Things Are Tough
These days, you may be feeling anxious or concerned. It’s no wonder, given how much uncertainty and strife we’re seeing regularly. What’s on your mind? Is it concern about high prices or worry about trade wars? Political polarization and social divides? Immigration concerns? Misinformation and disinformation? Or mass shootings, mental health concerns, social justice issues, climate change? Extreme weather events like wildfires and hurricanes? Last year, 77% of U.S. adults indicated the future of their nation as a significant source of stress in their lives, and 73% indicated the economy as such. The overall average level of stress among Americans in
Unlock the Power of Progress
You probably have aspirations, and you know that to accomplish them you need to apply yourself and get going on relevant work. But you may also be looking, even if subconsciously, for a Hollywood-style breakthrough. A Eureka moment. And that’s holding you back. Researcher and Harvard Business School Professor Teresa Amabile and her colleagues, including researcher Steven Kramer, spent nearly 15 years studying the psychological experiences and performance of people doing complex and creative work in organizations. They looked into workers’ emotions, moods, motivation levels, and perceptions of their work environment. The researchers studied what work they did and what
Avoid These New Year’s Resolution Pitfalls
New year’s resolutions are famously difficult to achieve. So much so that they’re the butt of jokes. “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” -Joey Adams, comedian It would be funnier if the stakes weren’t so high. If it weren’t our lives, health, and relationships at issue. There are many reasons for the low success rate. For starters, fuzzy thinking. Case in point: we rarely distinguish between resolutions, goals, and habits. Resolutions are firm decisions to do or not to do something (i.e., deciding something with determination). Goals are the desired results you hope to
Why You Should Do an Annual Life Review–And How
You’re probably familiar with an annual performance review. According to SHRM, about 71% of organizations conduct them. But not many people have done an annual life review. In a way, that’s odd because of the importance of our quality of life. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher Those who do such reviews they tend to call them different things. Some call it an “annual life review.” Others call it a “personal annual review.” A friend and colleague of mine calls it his “annual look.” He’s been doing it regularly since 1977, and he swears by
Can We Find Peace in the Face of Death?
Article Summary What is it we fear in death? Most of us use denial as a big part of our strategy, but are there better ways to break free from the fear? Here we inquire into its root causes and look at some perspectives to (mostly) liberate ourselves from this fear—and find peace. (Guest blog by Niccolas Albiz.) ++++++ You know how it is: You have some spreadsheet work to do so you fill the background silence with YouTube videos or some music. Today it just so happened that the fates had lined up three consecutive videos that all touched
Are You Getting Complacent? 17 Signs
Is complacency creeping up on you, like it does to so many of us? Are you getting overly comfortable with things? Sliding into a state of easy contentment? Blissfully unaware of your life traps or leadership derailers? Showing the signs of complacency? Complacency can prevent you from doing the things you really want to do in life. There are many areas in which you can become complacent. For example: Health and vitality (both physical and mental) Relationships with your spouse or partner (if applicable), family, and/or friends Work (potentially including not just paid work but also family caregiving, household management,
The Power of Authentic Alignment in Your Life
Article Summary: Many of us lack authentic alignment in our life and work. We don’t have a good fit between who we are and how we live. On the problem with lacking authentic alignment, why it happens, and what to do about it. +++ Are you being true to yourself? Is there a good fit between how you live and who you really are? In other words, do you have authentic alignment in your life? If you’re living in authentic alignment (1), there’s a good match between your inner world of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams and the outer world
Getting to the Root Causes of Things: Why and How
A brilliant but troubled young man from a tough neighborhood in south Boston is working as a janitor at an elite technical university. Despite his incredible potential, he plans to stick around with his childhood buddies and not use his gifts. His therapist comes from the same neighborhood and is fascinated by the smug young prodigy. Sound familiar? It’s the plot of the acclaimed film, “Good Will Hunting,” of course, starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, and Minnie Driver. And it’s also a case study in root causes. In their first session, Will shocked his therapist, Dr. Sean Maguire,
17 Signs Your Monkey Mind Is Running Wild
Are you racing through life with a restless and easily distracted “monkey mind” that jumps from one thought to another? Do your thoughts swing wildly in different directions? If so, you’re not alone. But here’s the issue: mental chaos often leads to disruption in your life and work. It can make you anxious—and make it harder to accomplish your goals. 17 Signs Your Monkey Mind Is Running Wild How to know if you struggle with this? When you’re in monkey mind, you tend to: have scattered or frequently wandering thoughts be easily distracted have a hard time focusing on
How Advice Gets Ruined by Cognitive Biases
When it comes to giving and receiving good advice, your brain may be getting in the way. Daniel Kahneman, author of the blockbuster book, Thinking, Fast & Slow, is famous for his work on the psychology of decision-making. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. An enormous body of research from Kahneman and his colleagues over decades suggests the following: You’re not as rational as you think. Emotions, automatic responses, and mental shortcuts are much bigger drivers of our decisions than you might think. Facts matter much less than you might think when you’re making decisions. Kahneman and
Don’t Give Advice. Do This Instead
We often take for granted that advice is beneficial, but it has several hazards that are frequently overlooked. Often, it’s resisted or resented. Sometimes, it does more harm than good. What to do, then, instead of giving advice? Here are 18 suggestions for how to help people without giving them advice: 1. Ask and listen. When people come to you seeking help, ask questions—ideally guiding questions that allow them to tap into their intuition, judgment, and deeper wisdom. Avoid jumping in to fill the silence. Give their thoughts and ideas time to percolate. 2. Clarify. Ask many questions to clarify
The Hazards of Advice
Article Summary: Advice is common, and we tend to assume it’s helpful, but there are many hazards of advice that we fail to account for. 18 risks and flaws that come with advice. ++++++ Advice. It’s all around you. You may be drowning in it. “You should do XYZ.” “You need to get started on ABC, pronto.” It comes from everywhere. From family, friends, colleagues, managers. In most cases, their intent is good. They’re trying to help. But many people don’t pay nearly enough attention to the negative unintended consequences of doling out advice. Sometimes advice does more harm than
How to Stop Caring Too Much about What Others Think
As a human, you’re naturally social. You’re wired to consider how others perceive you. This makes sense, since relationships are key to your well-being. But this can be a big trap for you. When you’re overly worried about others’ opinions, you might make choices that harm you in the long run. You might avoid the short-term pain of disapproval in exchange for the long-term loss of missing out on better things. This focus can lead you away from your true self, from your deepest desires, pushing you toward what others want or expect. In the process, you might lose yourself
