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Why You Should Do an Annual Life Review–And How
You’re probably familiar with an annual performance review. According to SHRM, about 71% of organizations conduct them. But not many people have done an annual life review. In a way, that’s odd because of the importance of our quality of life. “The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher Those who do such reviews they tend to call them different things. Some call it an “annual life review.” Others call it a “personal annual review.” A friend and colleague of mine calls it his “annual look.” He’s been doing it regularly since 1977, and he swears by
Can We Find Peace in the Face of Death?
Article Summary What is it we fear in death? Most of us use denial as a big part of our strategy, but are there better ways to break free from the fear? Here we inquire into its root causes and look at some perspectives to (mostly) liberate ourselves from this fear—and find peace. (Guest blog by Niccolas Albiz.) ++++++ You know how it is: You have some spreadsheet work to do so you fill the background silence with YouTube videos or some music. Today it just so happened that the fates had lined up three consecutive videos that all touched
Are You Getting Complacent? 17 Signs
Is complacency creeping up on you, like it does to so many of us? Are you getting overly comfortable with things? Sliding into a state of easy contentment? Blissfully unaware of your life traps or leadership derailers? Showing the signs of complacency? Complacency can prevent you from doing the things you really want to do in life. There are many areas in which you can become complacent. For example: Health and vitality (both physical and mental) Relationships with your spouse or partner (if applicable), family, and/or friends Work (potentially including not just paid work but also family caregiving, household management,
The Power of Authentic Alignment in Your Life
Article Summary: Many of us lack authentic alignment in our life and work. We don’t have a good fit between who we are and how we live. On the problem with lacking authentic alignment, why it happens, and what to do about it. +++ Are you being true to yourself? Is there a good fit between how you live and who you really are? In other words, do you have authentic alignment in your life? If you’re living in authentic alignment (1), there’s a good match between your inner world of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams and the outer world
Getting to the Root Causes of Things: Why and How
A brilliant but troubled young man from a tough neighborhood in south Boston is working as a janitor at an elite technical university. Despite his incredible potential, he plans to stick around with his childhood buddies and not use his gifts. His therapist comes from the same neighborhood and is fascinated by the smug young prodigy. Sound familiar? It’s the plot of the acclaimed film, “Good Will Hunting,” of course, starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, and Minnie Driver. And it’s also a case study in root causes. In their first session, Will shocked his therapist, Dr. Sean Maguire,
17 Signs Your Monkey Mind Is Running Wild
Are you racing through life with a restless and easily distracted “monkey mind” that jumps from one thought to another? Do your thoughts swing wildly in different directions? If so, you’re not alone. But here’s the issue: mental chaos often leads to disruption in your life and work. It can make you anxious—and make it harder to accomplish your goals. 17 Signs Your Monkey Mind Is Running Wild How to know if you struggle with this? When you’re in monkey mind, you tend to: have scattered or frequently wandering thoughts be easily distracted have a hard time focusing on
How Advice Gets Ruined by Cognitive Biases
When it comes to giving and receiving good advice, your brain may be getting in the way. Daniel Kahneman, author of the blockbuster book, Thinking, Fast & Slow, is famous for his work on the psychology of decision-making. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences. An enormous body of research from Kahneman and his colleagues over decades suggests the following: You’re not as rational as you think. Emotions, automatic responses, and mental shortcuts are much bigger drivers of our decisions than you might think. Facts matter much less than you might think when you’re making decisions. Kahneman and
Don’t Give Advice. Do This Instead
We often take for granted that advice is beneficial, but it has several hazards that are frequently overlooked. Often, it’s resisted or resented. Sometimes, it does more harm than good. What to do, then, instead of giving advice? Here are 18 suggestions for how to help people without giving them advice: 1. Ask and listen. When people come to you seeking help, ask questions—ideally guiding questions that allow them to tap into their intuition, judgment, and deeper wisdom. Avoid jumping in to fill the silence. Give their thoughts and ideas time to percolate. 2. Clarify. Ask many questions to clarify
The Hazards of Advice
Article Summary: Advice is common, and we tend to assume it’s helpful, but there are many hazards of advice that we fail to account for. 18 risks and flaws that come with advice. ++++++ Advice. It’s all around you. You may be drowning in it. “You should do XYZ.” “You need to get started on ABC, pronto.” It comes from everywhere. From family, friends, colleagues, managers. In most cases, their intent is good. They’re trying to help. But many people don’t pay nearly enough attention to the negative unintended consequences of doling out advice. Sometimes advice does more harm than
How to Stop Caring Too Much about What Others Think
As a human, you’re naturally social. You’re wired to consider how others perceive you. This makes sense, since relationships are key to your well-being. But this can be a big trap for you. When you’re overly worried about others’ opinions, you might make choices that harm you in the long run. You might avoid the short-term pain of disapproval in exchange for the long-term loss of missing out on better things. This focus can lead you away from your true self, from your deepest desires, pushing you toward what others want or expect. In the process, you might lose yourself
How to Stop Blaming Others: 10 Tips
Blaming. It’s a common trap—and more damaging than you think. Focusing on what your parents did wrong instead of owning up to your own issues. Chiding your spouse for XYZ while you yourself have been dropping the ball on ABC. Blaming another department in your organization for product, service, or hiring delays. Attacking the other side for their faults instead of working together to solve the problem. It’s tempting to shift blame onto others. Blaming might bring temporary satisfaction, but it ultimately stalls progress and even moves you backwards. The Problem with Blaming Blaming, despite feeling oddly good in
The Importance of Perspective in Life and Leadership
Do things feel heavy and dense in your life right now? Maybe you’re stressed out about a challenge at work, or a problem at home that’s got you off balance. Perhaps you lost your job, or lost a big account at the office. Maybe you’re struggling financially, or have health concerns in your family. Perhaps your team is struggling with performance and motivation. It may feel like the world is closing in. In those moments, it’s hard to maintain perspective. The Problem with Lacking Perspective Feeling that way is understandable, but losing perspective can be a big problem—and even
How to Discover Your Passions–A Passion Probe Tool
Do you have passion in your life? Are you passionate about what you do? Your passions are the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time. Do you have things you love doing so much that you’re willing to suffer for them? Author and coach Curt Rosengren describes passion as “the energy that comes from bringing more of you into what you do. In essence, passion comes from being who you are.” Your passions flow from your intrinsic motivation—your inner drive to pursue activities for their inherent rewards rather than external incentives—and from your natural abilities and talents. Are
What Are Your Strengths–And How Can You Use Them More?
Disengaged at work? Not energized and thriving in your life? It’s all too common. What’s going on? It could be that you’re not using your strengths—the things you’re good at—regularly. Are you focused on fixing your weaknesses instead of leveraging your strengths? Maybe you’re engaged in tasks you’d rather avoid, such as those that bore you or challenge your confidence. Do you keep doing something even when others excel in that task and you don’t? Meanwhile, it just drains you. This is a recipe for frustration and failure. A better approach: actively shape your work and life to align with
How to Avoid the Trap of Focusing Too Much on Others’ Needs
Daily life can be demanding. Work. Family. Bills. Deadlines. Dishes. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, especially if you fall into the trap of focusing too much on others’ needs. This challenge is common among caregivers like nurses and teachers. Also, many women struggle with it, in part due to all the expectations they encounter around nurturing, caregiving, and supporting homes and families. But it can affect anybody, especially those wired to give. This trap can result in empathy overload, compassion fatigue, and giver burnout. Signs of being too focused on others’ needs include difficulty setting boundaries, struggling with saying “no,” internalizing
