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How to Stop Blaming Others: 10 Tips
Blaming. It’s a common trap—and more damaging than you think. Focusing on what your parents did wrong instead of owning up to your own issues. Chiding your spouse for XYZ while you yourself have been dropping the ball on ABC. Blaming another department in your organization for product, service, or hiring delays. Attacking the other side for their faults instead of working together to solve the problem. It’s tempting to shift blame onto others. Blaming might bring temporary satisfaction, but it ultimately stalls progress and even moves you backwards. The Problem with Blaming Blaming, despite feeling oddly good in
The Importance of Perspective in Life and Leadership
Do things feel heavy and dense in your life right now? Maybe you’re stressed out about a challenge at work, or a problem at home that’s got you off balance. Perhaps you lost your job, or lost a big account at the office. Maybe you’re struggling financially, or have health concerns in your family. Perhaps your team is struggling with performance and motivation. It may feel like the world is closing in. In those moments, it’s hard to maintain perspective. The Problem with Lacking Perspective Feeling that way is understandable, but losing perspective can be a big problem—and even
How to Discover Your Passions–A Passion Probe Tool
Do you have passion in your life? Are you passionate about what you do? Your passions are the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time. Do you have things you love doing so much that you’re willing to suffer for them? Author and coach Curt Rosengren describes passion as “the energy that comes from bringing more of you into what you do. In essence, passion comes from being who you are.” Your passions flow from your intrinsic motivation—your inner drive to pursue activities for their inherent rewards rather than external incentives—and from your natural abilities and talents. Are
What Are Your Strengths–And How Can You Use Them More?
Disengaged at work? Not energized and thriving in your life? It’s all too common. What’s going on? It could be that you’re not using your strengths—the things you’re good at—regularly. Are you focused on fixing your weaknesses instead of leveraging your strengths? Maybe you’re engaged in tasks you’d rather avoid, such as those that bore you or challenge your confidence. Do you keep doing something even when others excel in that task and you don’t? Meanwhile, it just drains you. This is a recipe for frustration and failure. A better approach: actively shape your work and life to align with
How to Avoid the Trap of Focusing Too Much on Others’ Needs
Daily life can be demanding. Work. Family. Bills. Deadlines. Dishes. Sometimes it feels overwhelming, especially if you fall into the trap of focusing too much on others’ needs. This challenge is common among caregivers like nurses and teachers. Also, many women struggle with it, in part due to all the expectations they encounter around nurturing, caregiving, and supporting homes and families. But it can affect anybody, especially those wired to give. This trap can result in empathy overload, compassion fatigue, and giver burnout. Signs of being too focused on others’ needs include difficulty setting boundaries, struggling with saying “no,” internalizing
This Is How to Stop Being a Victim: 18 Practices
Why me? Why can’t I ever catch a break? If you’re in the habit of asking such questions, it’s a sign you may have a victim mentality. When you’re playing the victim, you believe that bad things you experience are the fault of others. What’s more, you believe those bad things will keep happening, so there’s no point in changing. It feels like the world is against you. There’s a difference between being a victim of real hardships (e.g., poverty, disease, trauma) and having a victim mentality. (1) With a victim mentality, you believe not only that you’re a victim
This Is How to Overcome Perfectionism: 14 Approaches
Do you struggle with perfectionism? It’s a big problem today for many, including ambitious professionals and leaders. It’s also widely misunderstood, and even misappropriated as a badge of honor. Perfectionism is a personal standard that demands or expects flawlessness. It typically includes overly critical self-evaluations and excessive concerns about harsh judgments from others. Perfectionism entails striving for unrealistic or even unattainable goals. What follows, of course, is disappointment when you fail to achieve them. If you’re a perfectionist, you translate low performance into low self-worth. The assumption behind it is that perfection is the only route to self-acceptance. Some people
This Is How to Develop Self-Awareness: 7 Approaches
Are you self-aware? It’s common for people to overestimate their self-awareness. Being self-aware means having a clear and accurate understanding of yourself, including your feelings, motives, desires, core values, strengths, and weaknesses. Do you have a realistic view of yourself, including a good and true sense of how others perceive you?* Based on multiple investigations with nearly 5,000 participants, organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich and her colleagues found the following: “…even though most people believe they are self-aware, self-awareness is a truly rare quality: We estimate that only 10-15% of the people we studied actually fit the criteria.” -Dr. Tasha
This Is How to Avoid Complacency
Have you become complacent? Have you been lulled into a state of easy contentment? Or are you at risk of not paying enough attention to potential problems? Is complacency preventing you from trying harder and making needed improvements? It’s a common trap. Perhaps you’ve been complacent about your health—or the health of those you love? Have you been complacent about your work, team, leadership, or organization? Or complacent about your relationships? About democracy or the planet? You may be struggling with complacency if you’re taking things for granted or if you have too much routine. Do things feel monotonous? Are
Why You Should Build Your Passions into Your Life and Work
What are the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time? What are the things you love so much that you’re willing to suffer for them? Those are your passions. You probably have passions in different domains of your life. Are you passionate about your work—or at least parts of it? Do you talk often about what you like about your work, or find yourself working extra hours even when you don’t have to? Are you building your passions into your days and weeks? 14 Benefits of Building Your Passions into Your Life and Work There are many
This Is How to Develop Focus: 20 Approaches
It feels like the world is dead-set against our focus these days. Are you bombarded with digital distractions? Are there near-constant requests for your attention? Do you feel overloaded? Does your concentration feel fragmented? Find yourself checking your phone constantly? These aren’t just annoyances. They can become a disaster for your productivity and quality of life. Focus and Leadership According to a survey of more than 35,000 leaders in more than 100 countries, 73% reported feeling distracted from their current task some or most of the time, and 67% described their minds as cluttered. Nearly all the leaders surveyed (a
How to Break Bad Habits and Create Good Ones
Got bad habits? You probably do. And you’re not alone. Are you in the habit of avoiding hard or uncomfortable things, or people? Dispensing advice without being asked? Not getting enough fresh air and sunshine? Not exercising and moving enough? Sitting too much? Procrastinating? Being late or doing things at the last minute? Blaming others instead of taking responsibility and finding solutions? Complaining? Doubting yourself? Compulsively using your smartphone? Okay, so you have some bad habits. Unfortunately, those bad habits can add up to big problems over time: unhappiness, poor health, feeling stuck, lower performance, and relationship harm. In dealing
How to Get More Exercise: 17 Tips
Do you struggle with getting enough exercise? Sit too much? If so, you’re not alone. Adults between age 20 and 75 reported spending an average of 9.5 hours of sedentary time each day, not including sleep. As they say, “sitting is the new smoking.” Your body was made to move, and it pays a price when it doesn’t. When you’re sedentary, there’s a dramatic drop in the production of enzymes that burn fat, and your metabolism slows. You know that exercise comes with an array of benefits. For example, it has positive effects on energy, happiness, blood pressure, brain health,
This Is How to Be More Decisive: 20 Practices
To live and lead well, we must be decisive. While this may come naturally for some, many people struggle with it for a variety of reasons. In our lives, what price do we pay when we’re stuck in “analysis paralysis” and unclear about how to move forward in the face of our options? In our organizations, do we want leaders who waffle, or ones who move forward despite uncertainty? There’s a lot going on when it comes to making decisions. The neurological mechanics are breathtaking. When we make decisions, we’re using our brain’s prefrontal cortex for what’s called “executive function.”
How to Set Boundaries: 14 Proven Practices
Many people struggle with setting and enforcing boundaries. It requires knowing their preferences and breaking points. It means being willing to assert their desires and needs. This is hard for many people, either due to their upbringing or personality—or both. There are many advantages that come with getting good at this. For example, it can help us protect our emotional wellbeing, grow as a person, develop greater self-respect and confidence, protect our time and energy, avoid burnout, earn respect from others, and prevent unnecessary relationship conflicts. When we set boundaries, we’re helping others interact more effectively with us. Sometimes we’re
