The People Who Fuel Your Passions

Who are the people who fuel your passions—the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time? For me, there are so many.

There are five different types of such people:

  1. passion igniters
  2. passion inspirations
  3. passion pals
  4. passion partners
  5. passion enablers

(And read on to the end for one other important type…)

 

1. Passion Igniters

Your passion igniters are the people who set your passions ablaze in your life. Here are some examples:

For me, I fell in love with soccer in part due to a fiery and intense coach, John Goetz, who led our “Choppers” youth soccer team with gusto.

As the sweeper, I was the final line of defense before the goalie. If a long pass slipped through at half-field on a counterattack and their forward got behind me on a breakaway, I had a brief window to recover before my mark could take a shot. Sprinting at full speed to catch the opposing striker, I would always hear a booming call from Coach on the sidelines:

YEEEEEHAAAAAW!!!

You could hear it for miles. He knew I wouldn’t let the forward get a shot off.

That primal roar always sent a jolt coursing through me. I always found another gear when I heard it.

When I started learning to play the guitar, I had a hard time connecting with the lessons from my first music teacher. Eventually, I found a new teacher, Randy. He offered to teach me anything I wanted to learn. I’d bring him tapes and he’d show me how to rock out on all my favorite songs. That made all the difference. I was all in.

When I was in college, I discovered a passion for learning—and asking the big questions in life—thanks to brilliant teachers like Professor Roth and Professor Smith. Those fires are still burning in me, as bright as ever.

Alexandra, our oldest daughter, discovered a love for dancing when she joined a local dance group led by a talented and committed young dancer, Isabel. With her dance troupe, Isabel focused on spreading the joy of dancing and building community. They work with hundreds of dancers, from young children to young adults, and welcome them into Isabel’s giant and growing dance family. All the dancers perform on stage during their shows, with electrifying music, soaring choreography, and marvelous dancing. I’ll never forget when Alex had her breakthrough moment on stage. Isabel is a passion igniter.

Our other daughter, Anya, fell in love with animals, not just because she loves our own pets, but because her Mom grew up on a farm riding horses. Growing up, Anya spent a lot of time on the farm enjoying the countryside and the companionship of animals. Today, she’s considering a career working with animals.

My brother, Scott, loves to travel. If there’s a fun festival somewhere, anywhere, he’s game. He traces this back to all the postcards we got as children from our parents as they traveled around the world for our Dad’s business career. Scott was intrigued by all the foreign and exotic places. He lived in Japan for several years and now travels abroad often.

My friend, Christine, is a passion igniter for the young women rugby players she coaches, helping them not only discover a love of the game but also of strength and physicality.

Who are your passion igniters?

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

2. Passion Inspirations

Your passion inspirations are the people who made you feel that you wanted to explore or do something that you care about deeply. They breathed life into your passions through their example. In many cases, they’re famous.

I love to write. For me, Richard Bach, Paulo Coelho, Annie Dillard, Anna Quindlen, Fredrik Backman, Stephen R. Covey, Parker Palmer, Richard Leider, and Brene Brown have been passion inspirations over the years.

On the leadership front, my Dad was deeply inspired early in his career by Robert Greenleaf, a consultant and author who founded the modern servant leadership movement. It transformed my father’s whole approach to leading and sent him on a quest to find better ways to lead than the ones he experienced as an emerging leader.

If you’re committed to public service and social justice, your passion inspirations may be people like Mahatma Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr., Desmond Tutu, Nelson Mandela, Malala Yousafzai, or Alexei Navalny.

A budding entrepreneur? Maybe Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Ratan Tata, Jack Ma, Oprah, Arianna Huffington, Lori Greiner, or Sara Blakeley inspire you.

For animals and the natural world, maybe it’s Jane Goodall or Sir David Attenborough.

And for acting and performing arts, maybe it’s Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington, Lin-Manuel Miranda, or Cynthia Erivo.

Who are your passion inspirations?

 

3. Passion Pals

Your passion pals are the friends you engage with on your passions, spending time together on the things that light you up.

For me in music, it was my band mates, with countless hours of practice in Patrick’s basement and Rob’s garage. These days, I geek out about books and podcasts with my friend Jamie and my Dad.

Do you have a workout buddy or hiking companion? A movie buff or gaming buddy? How about a foodie who samples new restaurants and dishes with you?

Who are your passion pals?

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

 

4. Passion Partners

Your passion partners are the people you collaborate with on passion projects, whether it’s a YouTube channel, photography, genealogy, pottery, or gardening. It can be romantic partners or business partners or both.

My friend Christopher Gergen and I were passion partners in writing a book, LIFE Entrepreneurs, together and building a company around it that helped people live with purpose and passion. In our research for the book, we interviewed 55 people who live intentionally and craft their lives around their passions, strengths, and values. In those interviews, we came across a wonderful surprise: many couples were helping each other do that.

For Paul, that mean supporting his new wife, Simi, as she launched a law firm and started a documentary project. And for Simi, it meant supporting Paul as he launched his new business. As Paul told me:

This is so great. We’re helping each other with our dreams.

For Linda and Roger, it meant co-founding a child-care company and launching and running humanitarian relief organizations in Asia and Africa. “For us it has been great,” recounted Linda. “We are extremely compatible. We have an enormous amount of respect for each other, and it adds this extra dimension to our relationship. It’s just incredibly rich to create an organization together.… Through all the very difficult start-up years, we had each other to lean on and celebrate our successes together.… It has really just worked.”

My Dad and I were passion partners on a book project about the kind of leadership it takes to build an organization that’s excellent, ethical, and enduring—what we called “triple crown leadership.” That work led to more writing as well as teaching and speaking together—a true joy.

Gregg with partners and co-authors, Christopher Gergen and Bob Vanourek

Who are your passion partners?

 

5. Passion Enablers

Your passion enablers are the ones who give you the means or the opportunity to do the things you love.

For me, it begins with my Mom and Dad. I think back to all the times my Mom drove me to practices, games, lessons, and events. And the times she served as Class Mom or Team Mom or ran the Little League Snack Shack.

Hanging out with my parents at a cafe

It’s also been my wife, Kristina, standing by me as I navigate my unconventional portfolio of work that includes writing, teaching, speaking, and coaching. And I supported her as she went back to school and changed careers, following her heart into work she loves and that she’s great at.

These passion enablers can include not only parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, and uncles but also managers and colleagues.

Think about the marketing manager who notices that one of her team members loves designing social media graphics and visually rich campaigns but struggles with drafting content. The manager lines up training and small projects to foster this more specialized work.

Consider the astute boss who sees how passionate his direct report is about sustainability and conservation. The boss sponsors and mentors his employee in launching company service initiatives and sees how he not only lights up but also develops his planning, collaboration, and leadership skills.

Who are your passion enablers?

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

One More Type: Passion Killers

Unfortunately, there’s one more type: the passion killers. These are the folks who discourage you from pursuing your passions.

They insist you’re not qualified. That you’re not the sort of person who can lead that big project. They tell you how impractical it is and how you should wise up and play it safe. Often, they’re afraid you’ll struggle and fail if you take risks—or more concerned about how your choices reflect back on them. (This can lead you into the trap of living someone else’s life.)

The voices of the passion killers tend to spawn the most insidious passion killer of all: self-doubt.

Self-doubt makes you question your capabilities and potential. It feeds on your uncertainty about yourself and your place in the world. It jumps all over you when you make a mistake or don’t reach a goal. It’s that voice in your head:

Don’t be a fool!
What if you make a mistake?
What will people think?

 

Conclusion

To some, passion sounds like pie-in-the-sky dreaming. Or unattainable. Part of the problem is due to fuzzy thinking. For instance: No, you probably don’t have just one passion. And no, everything won’t turn into butterflies and rainbows if you just “follow your passion.”

Passions are potent, especially when you pair them with your strengths. That gets you a big step closer to authentic alignment—when you’re being true to yourself and there’s a good fit between how you live and who you really are.

Passion is a critical component of this equation. Author Sir Ken Robinson calls it “the driver of achievement in all fields.” And Oprah Winfrey views it as energy, noting you can gain power by focusing on what excites you.

So, if you have people who have fueled your passion, be sure to reach out and thank them. And if you can play that role for others, I hope you step into it with gusto, realizing what a gift that can be.

If you have passion killers in your life, I hope you separate yourself from them—or at least draw healthy boundaries. Life is too short not to feel this amazing energy and see where it takes you.

Wishing you well with it. Let me know if I can help.
Gregg

 

Reflection & Action Questions

  1. Do you have any passion igniters who have set your passions ablaze in your life?
  2. How about passion inspirations who have breathed life into your passions through their example?
  3. Do you have passion pals who you engage with on your passions?
  4. How about passion partners who you collaborate with on passion projects?
  5. Do you have passion enablers who give you the means or the opportunity to do the things you love doing?
  6. Have you thanked them? Why not reach out—today?
  7. How about passion killers who discourage you from pursuing your passions?
  8. What will you do about them?

 

Tools for You

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Passions

  • “Allow yourself to be silently guided by that which you love the most.” -Rumi, 13th century poet and Sufi mystic
  • “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” -Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “If there is any difference between you and me, it may simply be that I get up every day and have a chance to do what I love to do, every day. If you want to learn anything from me, this is the best advice I can give you.” -Warren Buffett, legendary investor

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Problem with Not Having Boundaries

How well have you been setting boundaries lately? Have you been proactively defining how others should treat you? How about establishing limits for yourself that you commit to respecting? Are you clear on what you’re willing to accept or tolerate—and consistent in enforcing it?

Having boundaries is essential for both your personal and professional wellbeing. Boundaries serve to protect you, enhance your wellbeing, and provide a sense of control over your life.

Unfortunately, it’s not easy—at least not for most of us. Setting and maintaining boundaries can be difficult because it often requires saying no, risking conflict, or disappointing others. This is a problem at work, among managers and workers, in relationships (from parents and children to couples), and in many other settings.

According to a 2022 survey, 58% Americans have trouble saying “no” to others. While this is an issue for both men and women, it was women who reported struggling with it more: 65% of women versus 49% of men admitted to struggling with this. (1) My work with people in different countries leads me to believe that this is a universal struggle.

 

The Problem with Not Having Boundaries

Here’s the problem: Not having or maintaining boundaries can lead to many negative consequences for you. (2) Here are ten problems with not having boundaries:

1. Negative emotions. When you don’t have boundaries, it can cause you anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, resentment, and other forms of emotional distress. It can harm your mental health.

2. Overcommitment and a sense oftime poverty.” Do you often feel that you have too many things to do and not enough time to do them?

3. Overwork or workaholism. Without clear boundaries, you may struggle to say no, take on excessive responsibilities, and feel pressured to always be available.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

4. Exhaustion and burnout. Without boundaries, constant demands and lack of rest can drain your energy. Are you feeling not only fatigued but depleted? Like you have little or nothing left to give?

5. Numbing behaviors. Are you falling into the habit of escaping from your thoughts and feelings by doing other things like binge-watching, doom-scrolling, shopping recklessly, or eating mindlessly?

6. Difficulty making decisions. If you’re so focused on meeting other people’s needs, how can you decide what’s best for you, much less prioritize it?

7. Lower self-esteem. Without boundaries, you may place others’ needs over your own, leading to feelings of being undervalued.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.”
-Brené Brown, researcher and author

8. Strained or unhealthy relationships. It’s hard to have healthy relationships when your needs or expectations are unclear.

9. Higher potential for people to manipulate or take advantage of you. Without proper boundaries, others may exploit your willingness to accommodate them.

10. Losing yourself of self and your control over your life. When you constantly prioritize others’ expectations over your own needs and desires, you might disappear from the picture or at least fade into the background.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

 

Conclusion

If you struggle with setting and maintaining boundaries, like so many of us do, you might try reframing them: by setting and enforcing boundaries, you create space for what you truly want and need.

Having boundaries frees up your time and energy to live the life you want.

Finally, setting and maintaining boundaries is a continuous process. The issue of boundaries will keep coming up repeatedly in your life and work. Better to face the situation and improve it now.

Handling boundaries well requires ongoing judgment to determine when to stay firm and when to allow flexibility, adjusting as new circumstances arise.

Wishing you well with it. Let me know if I can help.
Gregg

 

Reflection Questions

  1. Which boundaries have you struggled with?
  2. Why do you think that is?
  3. Is there a pattern involving certain people or situations?
  4. What more will you do to set and maintain healthy boundaries for yourself, starting today?

 

Tools for You

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Boundaries

  • “Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” –Anna Taylor, author
  • “Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.” –Rachel Wolchin, author
  • “Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” -Josh Billings, American humorist
  • “Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring (just) because I don’t do things your way.” –Christine Morgan, psychotherapist

 

References

(1) Source: Thriving Center of Psychology October 2022 survey of 1,001 people

(2) As you navigate this process, it’s important to recall that people have diverse needs and will make varying—sometimes vastly different—choices about their boundaries. What works for others may not suit you at all. Therefore, you must set your own boundaries while also supporting others in setting theirs.

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How to Practice Acceptance When Things Are Tough

These days, you may be feeling anxious or concerned. It’s no wonder, given how much uncertainty and strife we’re seeing regularly.

What’s on your mind? Is it concern about high prices or worry about trade wars? Political polarization and social divides? Immigration concerns? Misinformation and disinformation? Or mass shootings, mental health concerns, social justice issues, climate change? Extreme weather events like wildfires and hurricanes?

Last year, 77% of U.S. adults indicated the future of their nation as a significant source of stress in their lives, and 73% indicated the economy as such. The overall average level of stress among Americans in 2024 was 5 out of 10. Source: American Psychological Association’s Stress in America 2024 poll. (1)

Around the world, people are most concerned about inflation, crime and violence, poverty and social inequality, unemployment, and financial/political corruption, according to the What Worries the World survey 2024. (2)

“Most people today live in relatively constant distress and anxiety.”
-Shirzad Chamine, Positive Intelligence

No doubt, there’s plenty to be concerned about. But is your reaction to things helping in any way, or just making you miserable?

 

Radical Acceptance

A powerful way to break this downward spiral is through “radical acceptance,” which has been defined as “fully acknowledging reality as it is, without resistance or judgment.”

When practicing this form of acceptance, you focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.

“Acceptance means events can make it through you without resistance.”
-Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Accepting reality as it is can prevent you from prolonging emotional reactions that only worsen the situation. By practicing radical acceptance, you can enhance your ability to handle distress. Essentially, you’re preventing your pain from turning into unnecessary suffering.

Of course, it’s easier said than done. Truth be told, it can be very challenging in practice, in part because of the way our brains are wired.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

What Acceptance Isn’t

In this context, acceptance isn’t the same as avoidance, complacency, settling, or inaction. It doesn’t mean that you throw up your arms and become passive. And no, you shouldn’t put your head in the sand or fiddle while Rome burns.

In life, action is essential. And you’ll still fight to uphold your values and honor your commitments.

But acceptance means that you’ll stop resisting reality. It means that you’ll focus on having a productive, compassionate, and nonjudgmental mindset. Why? Because it will benefit you and those around you.

 

Why You Should Practice Acceptance

Practicing acceptance can help you in many ways. For example, it has benefits on your:

  • mental and physical health (including your sleep quality and cardiovascular, digestive, and immune systems)
  • relationships
  • anxiety management
  • communication, coping, and problem-solving skills
  • conflict management
  • performance
  • wellbeing
  • happiness
“There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.”
-Tara Brach, psychologist, author, and meditation teacher

 

How to Practice Radical Acceptance

How does this work in practice? And how can you apply it, even when things are difficult?

Here are practical steps you can take to practice radical acceptance:

1. Focus on being an observer, not a judge or victim. See things as they are. Stop resisting reality, realizing that it’s futile to do so.

2. Remind yourself that you can’t always change your current reality. And that’s okay. It is what it is.

3. Notice when you’re resisting reality. Common clues include troubling emotions like irritability or resentment. Focus on letting go of that resistance—and your desire for control.

4. Look for patterns or circumstances in which you keep falling into this trap. Pay attention to what you resist and what causes you grief. For example, are you:

  • getting triggered by following the news too closely and letting it cloud your days, or by checking your social media accounts too often
  • avoiding conflict, hoping it will go away on its own
  • getting triggered by someone who annoys you
  • unrealistically expecting your boss to change his or her behavior
  • resisting responsibility by blaming others
  • avoiding the reality that you’re staying in a mediocre or unfulfilling job
  • not facing up to your health challenges or ignoring the need for diet and lifestyle changes

5. Live in the present moment. Let go of worries of the past and doubts about the future. Your life is right here, right now. You can’t change the past (although you can change how you view it). And much of what’s to come in the future is beyond your control. That’s okay. Focus on doing your best and acting rightly in the moment. That will set you up for your best chances of success.

6. Practice relaxation techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or journaling (if it helps you). These practices can help you accept reality as it is with your whole self, including mind, body, and spirit.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

 

7. Allow uncomfortable emotions like frustration, disappointment, and sadness to arise within you. Avoid the temptation to resist or numb them. Doing so will only allow them to linger longer. Emotions are natural and unavoidable. You can’t stop them from arising. They generally last for only about 90 seconds, on average. If you don’t resist them, they’ll pass through you naturally. But if you do resist them, they’ll linger and keep reappearing. According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist and author: (3)

“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.
Something happens in the external world, and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body, it takes less than 90 seconds. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away.
After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological reaction, over and over again.”

8. Direct your energy and attention to things you can control and what you’re grateful for. Avoid ruminating on what’s upsetting you and negative judgments about yourself and others. Acknowledge what you can’t control, knowing that resisting it will only cause you anxiety or suffering.

9. Reframe negative events. For example, think about all your skills and capabilities in overcoming challenges and all the times you’ve survived difficult things and been resilient. Consider that there may be valuable lessons or opportunities for growth in your adversity. (See my article, “The Power of Reframing to Change Our Outlook.”)

10. When you face challenging situations, focus only on being effective in addressing them. The alternative is being reactive, hurt, or wounded—none of which will help you with anything. To the contrary.

“You can’t control how you feel. But you can always choose how you act.”
-Mel Robbins, The 5 Second Rule

11. Focus on your own mindset and actions. Stop expecting others to change or act according to your wishes or expectations.

“The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is,
without needing to judge or change them in any way.”

-Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

12. Consider whether your expectations are realistic and appropriate. Or are they setting you up for disappointment? For example, if you’re always expecting good things to happen to you, you may be inviting frustration and disappointment, because life always comes with ups and downs.

13. Remember that life can be okay—or even precious and rich—even when you’re feeling pain or discomfort. Try to place your current challenges or concerns in context and maintain perspective.

14. Don’t go it alone. Lean on your support system and recall that we’re all in this together.

15. Pray for greater acceptance. Keep the Serenity Prayer close by and refer to it often. Better yet, memorize it. (I have a copy of it hanging on my office wall.) It can help you avoid falling into bad habits and unproductive mindsets.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”
-the “Serenity Prayer”
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer

16. Practice these acceptance techniques over and over again. Acceptance isn’t just a decision. It’s also a mindset and a practice. You want it to become more automatic and habitual, and thus easier over time. Eventually, it will become a part of who you are and how to carry yourself in the world.

In the end, there’s hope, faith, strength, and resilience in this form of acceptance. You can stand in the storm and choose not to spiral down, even when things are hard. And you can soldier on without surrendering your spirit.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
Gregg

 

Tools for You

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Acceptance

  • “All the stress that we feel is caused by arguing with what is.” -Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life
  • “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is…. When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life.” –Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “Radical Acceptance is the gateway to healing wounds and spiritual transformation. When we can meet our experience with Radical Acceptance, we discover the wholeness, wisdom and love that are our deepest nature…. The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.” -Tara Brach, psychologist, author, and meditation teacher
  • “One of the most amazing things you will ever realize is that the moment in front of you is not bothering you—you are bothering yourself about the moment in front of you.” –Michael Singer, Living Untethered
  • “The pain you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity.” -Eckhart Tolle, author and spiritual teacher
  • “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s the way it is. The way you cope with that is what makes the difference.” -Virginia Satir, author, clinical social worker, and psychotherapist
  • “Accepting people as they are has the miraculous effect of helping them improve. Acceptance doesn’t prohibit growth; rather, it fosters it.” –Marianne Williamson, spiritual teacher and author

 

References

(1) The Harris Poll conducted the Stress in America 2024 survey online on behalf of the American Psychological Association in August 2024, with a nationally representative sample of 3,305 U.S. adults ages 18 and older. Also, 41% of U.S. adults reported that the state of the nation has made them consider moving to another country, 32% reported that the political climate has caused strain in their family, and 30% said they limit their time with family due to a difference in values.

(2) Source: The What Worries the World survey involved monthly samples of a panel of more than 20,000 adults in 29 countries. They’ve conducted the survey for more than a decade.

(3) Verduyn, P., & Lavrijsen, S. (2015). Which emotions last longest and why: The role of event importance and rumination. Motivation and Emotion, 39(1), 119–127. “Some emotions last longer than others…. some emotions have been found to persist for a long time whereas others tend to quickly fade away.” The researchers here investigated the duration of emotional experience, distinguishing it from mood. The participants were 233 high school students, with a mean age of 17.02 years. Researchers asked them to complete questionnaires on their experience with several emotions. The researchers noted several limitations of the study, including the possibility of retrospective bias (since students reported emotional episodes from the past) and the fact that it only included high school students.

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Unlock the Power of Progress

You probably have aspirations, and you know that to accomplish them you need to apply yourself and get going on relevant work. But you may also be looking, even if subconsciously, for a Hollywood-style breakthrough. A Eureka moment.

And that’s holding you back.

Researcher and Harvard Business School Professor Teresa Amabile and her colleagues, including researcher Steven Kramer, spent nearly 15 years studying the psychological experiences and performance of people doing complex and creative work in organizations. They looked into workers’ emotions, moods, motivation levels, and perceptions of their work environment. The researchers studied what work they did and what events stood out for them. Their aim was to find what contributed most to the highest levels of creative output. (1)

Enter the “progress principle.”

 

Leveraging the Progress Principle

Question:

What sets your best days—your most productive, engaging, and fun ones—apart from your worst days?

When the researchers compared the best days of the workers with their worst days (specifically, their motivation levels, overall mood, and specific emotions), they found that progress in the work was the most common event triggering the best days. And relatedly, setbacks in the work were the most common event summoning the worst days.

Importantly, even minor progress on things could result in outsized positive effects. They found a clear “inner work life effect” related to progress and small wins.

The researchers could see workers enter a “progress loop,” with consistent progress on meaningful work creating a positive inner work life, which in turn drives performance.

“Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”
-Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins”

 

The Progress Principle in Action

Working on a big, important project with a tight deadline? If you’re in a company, maybe it’s a product launch, marketing campaign, or a system upgrade. In a nonprofit, maybe it’s a fundraising campaign, big event, or recruitment drive. Or in a school district, maybe it’s a curriculum overhaul, technology integration, or implementation of safety protocols. In a government agency, maybe it’s a public health initiative or disaster recovery program. Maybe you’re working on a career change or writing a book.

Tip: Stop stressing over the deadline and focusing only on the final outcome. Instead, break the project into smaller tasks (e.g., researching, outlining, drafting, editing, presenting, improving, releasing, promoting). And when you complete a task, celebrate your progress.

Share updates with your colleagues. Feel the sense of achievement and watch how it motivates you to keep going while also helping you navigate setbacks.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

Implication for Managers: The Power of Progress in Action

How does this work for managers? Amabile and her associates found that facilitating progress, even including small wins, is the best way to motivate people on a daily basis

“The key to motivating performance is supporting progress in meaningful work.”
-Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins”

Unfortunately, the managers they surveyed didn’t view that as high on their list of motivational tools. On the contrary: it was at the bottom of their list.

So, what can you do as a manager to boost motivation and create the conditions for productive, creative output by your team?

First, you can use what the researchers called “catalysts” and “nourishers.”

  • Catalysts are actions you take to support the work of your team. For example: setting clear goals, giving workers autonomy, providing adequate resources and time, helping, fostering the free exchange of ideas, facilitating learning from challenges and successes, and tracking and celebrating progress.
  • Nourishers are acts of support. For example: providing encouragement, emotional comfort, recognition, and respect. Helping people feel a sense of affiliation and belonging.

On the flipside, you can minimize what the researchers called “inhibitors” and “toxins.”

  • Inhibitors can range from not providing support (or enough of it) to your team to actually interfering with their work. As management guru Peter Drucker once wrote, “Most of what we call management consists of making it hard for people to get their work done.”
  • Toxins are things like discouragement, disregard for people’s emotions, and disrespect.

These inhibitors and toxins lead to negative feedback loops—the reverse of the progress loop. They destroy motivation and productivity.

Of course, even good managers can sometimes fall short with their behavior, not least because they’re overwhelmed and under pressure.

 

Managing Setbacks

You’re bound to experience challenges in your work sometimes. As a manager, it’s essential that you manage setbacks in your team proactively.

Amabile and her colleagues found that “Small losses or setbacks can have an extremely negative effect on inner work life.” Indeed, negative events can have a more powerful impact than positive events. So, managers are wise to address frictions, hassles, and setbacks directly and quickly—and to view this as an essential part of their job.

“If you want to foster great inner work life, focus first on eliminating the obstacles that cause setbacks. Why? Because one setback has more power to sway inner work life than one progress incident.” -Teresa Amabile, The Progress Principle

In business schools and management books, the focus is on managing people and organizations. Seems like it makes sense, but this research points to an important reframe:

When you focus on managing progress, you’re better able to manage people—and even teams and organizations.
“…the most important implication of the progress principle is this: By supporting people and their daily progress in meaningful work, managers improve not only the inner work lives of their employees but also the organization’s long-term performance, which enhances inner work life even more…. Knowing what serves to catalyze and nourish progress—and what does the opposite—turns out to be the key to effectively managing people and their work.
-Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins”

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

 

The Power of Momentum

This research resonates with the concept of momentum in physics, which is “mass in motion” (the product of the mass of something and its velocity). Think of a big 18-wheeler barreling down the highway. Massive momentum.

Some key points about momentum:

Gaining momentum through consistent, purposeful action fuels motivation, while procrastination slows momentum and saps motivation.

Ask yourself this:

What can you do now to build momentum toward something that matters?

If you have goals you want to achieve and a clear vision of a successful future you’re moving toward, are you taking enough action now and every day to create and build momentum toward your desired ends?

 

The Flywheel Effect

Author Jim Collins famously described this as a “flywheel” in his book, Good to Great.

He described a massive metal disk, weighing thousands of pounds, mounted on an axle. Naturally, it takes great effort to get it to move at first. But if you keep pushing consistently, it begins to move, ever so slowly. Then a bit faster. At some point, after disciplined work and sweat equity over time, there’s a breakthrough:

“The momentum of the thing kicks in your favor, hurling the flywheel forward, turn after turn… whoosh!… its own heavy weight working for you. You’re pushing no harder than during the first rotation, but the flywheel goes faster and faster. Each turn of the flywheel builds upon work done earlier, compounding your investment of effort.”

 Eventually, you generate an “almost unstoppable momentum.” The flywheel effect.

“Each turn builds upon previous work as you make a series of good decisions, supremely well executed, that compound one upon another. This is how you build greatness.” -Jim Collins, Turning the Flywheel: A Monograph to Accompany Good to Great
Source: Jim Collins, “Good to Great”

Collins notes that the good-to-great transformations in their massive research set didn’t happen in one fell swoop with a single grand program, defining action, or miracle moment. Instead, it took a quiet, deliberate, and cumulative process. Turning the flywheel.

Collins describes it as an organic evolutionary process, a pattern of buildup via an accumulation of consistent steps. The pattern: “disciplined people, disciplined thought, disciplined action.” He cites executives in their own words from the companies they studied:

  • “a series of incremental changes”
  • “an evolution”
  • “very deliberate”
  • “evolutionary… building success upon success”

For this kind of business success, effort and action alone aren’t enough. According to Collins, it also requires “an underlying, compelling logic of momentum.” One might say it’s a powerful combination of a powerful business model with an effective strategy that’s well executed consistently over time. When it works right, he says that doing A almost inevitably leads to B, which inexorably leads to C and then D in a reinforcing loop. Round and round the flywheel.

For it to work, you must discover what your flywheel is in your current context (e.g., market and industry conditions). You don’t have to be a pioneer, first mover, or even unique to make it work. But you do need a clear and deep understanding of your flywheel, along with supreme execution of it over a lengthy period of time.

The flipside of the flywheel effect is what he calls the “doom loop.” It’s when organizations start with one thing, then stop and change course. They lurch back and forth impatiently, perhaps even desperately, seeking the big breakthrough that never comes. It leads only to decline and frustration.

Source: Jim Collins, “Good to Great”

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

The Power of Compounding

These principles and practices of progress, momentum, and flywheels have echoes in the financial world, with the phenomenon of compounding and compound interest: Savvy savers earn interest both on the money they save and on the interest they earn. Over time, such compounding can lead to spectacular results—huge rewards for wise, patient, and disciplined savers.

Benjamin Franklin noted this centuries ago:

“Money makes money. And the money that money makes, makes money.”

The phenomenon is so powerful that it’s been called “the eighth wonder of the world,” a quotation often attributed to Albert Einstein.

“Enjoy the magic of compounding returns. Even modest investments made in one’s early 20s are likely to grow to staggering amounts over the course of an investment lifetime.” -John C. Bogle, investor and philanthropist
Source: Wikipedia

 

Conclusion

There are many benefits that come from using the progress principle and its related practices. The advantages include greater motivation, effectiveness, satisfaction, resilience, and confidence. And big results.

It’s also an antidote to the common traps of overthinking, worrying, and rumination—as well as indecision and inertia.

Unlocking the power of progress and small wins can lead to big changes. Why not get started with it, today?

Wishing you well with it.
-Gregg

 

Reflection & Action Questions

  1. Are you leveraging the progress principle in your life and work?
  2. Are you managing your setbacks proactively?
  3. Have you discovered the flywheel that will generate powerful momentum for you?
  4. What more will you do on these fronts, starting today?

 

Tools for You

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Progress and Small Wins

  • “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” -Robert J. Collier, publisher
  • “You have to put in many, many, many tiny efforts that nobody sees or appreciates before you achieve anything worthwhile.” -Brian Tracy, author and speaker
  • “Tiny victories are like gems scattered on your journey, notice them.” -Emma Xu
  • “The great victory, which appears so simple today, was the result of a series of small victories that went unnoticed.” -Paulo Coelho, Brazilian novelist
  • “’the progress principle’: Pleasure comes more from making progress toward goals than from achieving them.” -Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis
  • “Small wins fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.” -Charles Duhigg, author
  • “Track your small wins to motivate big accomplishments.” -Teresa Amabile, researcher
  • “The most effective form of motivation is progress. When we get a signal that we are moving forward, we become more motivated to continue down that path. In this way, habit tracking can have an addictive effect on motivation. Each small win feeds your desire.” -James Clear, author

(1) Their research methodology included end-of-day email surveys sent to 26 project teams from seven companies, comprising 12,000 diary entries from 238 people. (Source: Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins,” Harvard Business Review, May 2011.) The idea behind the progress principle and small wins has resonance with other ideas and frameworks, including agile software development (which often includes breaking product development work into small increments, including sprints and rapid iterations) and innovation approaches like lean startup methodology, including its focus on “minimum viable products.” Entrepreneur and author Peter Sims advocates making “little bets.”

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Avoid These New Year’s Resolution Pitfalls

New year’s resolutions are famously difficult to achieve. So much so that they’re the butt of jokes.

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”
-Joey Adams, comedian

It would be funnier if the stakes weren’t so high. If it weren’t our lives, health, and relationships at issue.

There are many reasons for the low success rate. For starters, fuzzy thinking. Case in point: we rarely distinguish between resolutions, goals, and habits.

  • Resolutions are firm decisions to do or not to do something (i.e., deciding something with determination).
  • Goals are the desired results you hope to achieve. They’re the object of our ambition and effort.
  • Habits are the things you do often and regularly.

Next, there are many problems with the way we set resolutions. And there are issues with the way we go about trying to achieve them. No wonder the results tend to disappoint.

“Behavior change is hard. No doubt about it.”
James Clear, writer

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

12 New Year’s Resolutions Pitfalls to Avoid

Below are 12 new year’s resolutions pitfalls to avoid. As you read them, think about whether you want to change your current resolutions.

1. Having too many resolutions. This is probably the most common trap. When you have too many resolutions, it’s easy to get overwhelmed, placing the whole enterprise at risk. The problem is that it’s unrealistic, given the larger context of your many other responsibilities and challenges. And it will dilute your efforts. Avoid the trap of trying to change everything at once. It will stack the odds against you. Stanford University behavior scientist Dr. B.J. Fogg recommends focusing on a maximum of three habits at a time (and shrinking them down to what he calls “tiny habits”).

…if we try to focus on everything, we focus on nothing.”
John DoerrMeasure What Matters

2. Not identifying and focusing on the most important resolution. Here, look to what’s called “keystone habits”: ones on which others depend or that have important secondary benefits. Examples: walking daily, exercising regularly, having a healthy and consistent sleep routine. Case in point: if you exercise regularly, it probably helps you eat and sleep better, plus you may have higher energy levels, better focus, and great confidence, not to mention the direct health benefits (e.g., muscle strength, endurance, cardiovascular fitness).

3. Being unrealistic with your resolutions. Don’t set yourself up for failure by aiming for the sky. Bear in mind that small changes can add up to something big when you’re consistent and stick with them over time. Think of the magic of compound interest.

4. Being too vague. Examples of vague resolutions: Get healthy. Sleep better. Be a better person. Save more money. Lose weight. Study more. Learn Spanish. Better to get granular and specific. Examples of specific resolutions:

  • Read a book a month.
  • Save 15% of every paycheck so you’re on track for a downpayment on a new home.
  • Increase average daily step count from 9,000 currently to 10,000.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

 

5. Adopting other people’s resolutions due to social pressure. This is often a function of caring too much about what other people think or the comparison trap. When setting resolutions, look to your core values and tap into your heart, not your ego or excessive materialism.

“The more that we choose our goals based on our values and principles,
the more we enter into a positive cycle of energy, success, and satisfaction.”
-Neil Farber, Canadian contemporary artist

6. Not writing your resolutions down. Ideally, place reminders in conspicuous places (e.g., Post-Its on your desk, reminders on your phone, notes on your fridge or bathroom mirror). And move them around. Otherwise, you’ll stop noticing them.

7. Expecting instant results. In most cases, that’s… NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN. Better to play the long game and work diligently and systematically toward something positive instead of expecting quick wins.

8. Not making a clear, specific, and realistic plan for how you’ll make it happen. To achieve your resolutions, it will help if you have good habits and an environment conducive to success. How likely are you to eat well if your cabinet is full of junk food? Will you really be able to focus more and complete that big project if you’re getting notifications, texts, and emails every five seconds? What are the odds of letting go of negative self-talk, victimhood, and blaming if you’re hanging with negative, judgmental people? Eliminating unhelpful triggers is huge.

“Create an environment where doing the right thing is as easy as possible.”
-James Clear, Atomic Habits

9. Not creatively devising ways to make pursuing your resolutions more enjoyable. Are there any resolution activities that you can do with a friend? Can you do the work in a cozy or fun setting? At a good time when you can focus? Can you find ways to employ your strengths and passions when pursuing your resolutions?

Strengths Search

We all have core strengths–the things in which we most excel. Take this self-assessment to determine your core strengths so you can integrate them more into your life and work.

 

10. Going it alone. You’re much more likely to achieve your resolutions if you make them social. Get a workout buddy. Recruit an accountability partner. Plus, it’s more fun this way. A double win!

11. Not planning for challenges. Avoid wasting too much time in dreaming mode (which can sap your motivation) and spend more time in mitigation mode (to make sure you’re prepared for the adversity that’s bound to arise). Be vigilant. Commit to getting back on track right away if or when you hit a roadblock.

12. Not tracking and celebrating your progress. Use a daily log to track your progress. As the saying goes, you don’t get what you don’t measure. Reward yourself for successful completion of milestones along the way.

“…the process of working toward a goal, participating in a valued and challenging activity, is as important to well-being as its attainment…. Working toward a meaningful life goal is one of the most important strategies for becoming lastingly happier.” Sonja Lyubomirsky, Professor of Psychology, University of California, Riverside

How of Happiness

 

Conclusion

Truth be told, having a new year is an epic gift. You’re here. Alive and kicking. Your world is awash in possibility. What will you do to honor that precious gift?

“New year—a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story?
Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”

-Alex Morritt, writer

Wishing you well with it. Let me know if I can help.
Gregg Vanourek

 

Reflection Questions

  1. How are things going with your new year’s resolutions?
  2. What changes will you make, starting today?

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on New Year’s Resolutions

  • “And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been.” -Rainer Maria Rilke, Austrian poet
  • “There is one thing which gives radiance to everything. It is the idea of something around the corner.”-G.K. Chesterton, English writer and philosopher
  • “We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.” -Hillary DePiano, playwright
  • “Make only one resolution: your chances of success are greater when you channel energy into changing just one aspect of your behavior.” –Richard Wiseman, professor of psychology, University of Hertfordshire
  • “Goals are fuel in the furnace of achievement.” –Brian Tracy, Canadian-American author and speaker
  • “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” -Andrew Carnegie, Scottish-American industrialist and philanthropist
  • “New Year’s resolutions failing doesn’t even seem like an accident anymore; it feels as much a part of the tradition as resolutions in the first place. The worst part is how quickly it happens. You join a gym, and for the first week, you’re there every day. By the second week, the gym is just something you wave at on your way to get a burrito.” –Eric Barker, “New Research Reveals 8 Secrets that Will Make Your New Year’s Resolutions Succeed”

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Why You Should Do an Annual Life Review–And How

You’re probably familiar with an annual performance review. According to SHRM, about 71% of organizations conduct them.

But not many people have done an annual life review.

In a way, that’s odd because of the importance of our quality of life.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
-Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher

Those who do such reviews they tend to call them different things. Some call it an “annual life review.” Others call it a “personal annual review.” A friend and colleague of mine calls it his “annual look.” He’s been doing it regularly since 1977, and he swears by it.

The idea is to look back on the year and evaluate what’s gone well and what hasn’t—and to look ahead and plan for the year to come.

 

14 Benefits of Doing an Annual Life Review

Why do this? An annual life review can help you:

  1. gain clarity about how things are going in your life
  2. spot patterns (even otherwise hidden ones) in your life
  3. break out of “drifting mode” and live more intentionally
  4. get unstuck (and avoid feeling like you’re helpless or trapped)
  5. feel motivated to go after important priorities (e.g., better work and relationships)
  6. set better goals—or recalibrate them when needed
  7. celebrate your progress and accomplishments
  8. be mindful of what you’re grateful for
  9. identify areas where you want or need to improve
  10. examine key drivers of your life like your habits and systems
  11. boost your confidence and sense of agency over your life
  12. spot and track changes and progress from year to year
  13. set you up for action and momentum in the year to come
  14. create opportunities for breakthroughs in your life (e.g., when you disrupt a negative pattern and step into a bigger life with more success, joy, and fulfillment)

Writer Matthias Frank suggests that doing such an annual review will be “your highest leverage activity all year long.”

“When you review your year as a whole, seemingly unrelated parts of your life come into focus at once,
enabling you to connect the dots.”
Fadeka Adegbuyi, writer and content strategist

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

How to Conduct an Annual Life Review: Time & Place

So how does this work? It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Before diving in, you’re wise to choose an appropriate setting for this reflective work. Find a place where you can focus and engage in undisturbed deep work.

“Reflection must be reserved for solitary hours.”
-Jane Austen, English novelist

Why not choose an inspiring setting, one that uplifts you? (Sometimes, it’s helpful to get away from your usual places.)

It’s important to set aside an ample amount of time. For me, it usually takes 2-3 hours, or half a day at most. You can do it all at once or break it into chunks (e.g., an hour at a time), as you wish. Don’t rush it.

Key point: be totally honest. There’s no sense in holding back or exaggerating things in your annual life review. This is for you and you alone.

 

Annual Life Review Template: Topics to Address

Once you’ve determined the time and place, you’ll want to turn to the questions and topics you’ll want to address. Though some may want to improvise and do a stream-of-consciousness review, for many people it helps to have some structure—or at least some starter questions to kick things off.

Here’s a template of sorts, with five sections:

 

1. Highlights from This Past Year

Take a look back and capture the bright spots of your year. Look across a wide range of things here, from relationships, experiences, accomplishments, and awards to hobbies, passion projects, courses, and fun surprises. Any new skills developed or people served? Perhaps a reflection on how you enjoyed seeing loved ones or colleagues thrive? Even your favorite books or movies from the year, if you like. You may want to identify your top highlights or accomplishments so they don’t get lost in the shuffle.

When I do my annual life review, I start by listing things in chronological order as they occurred throughout the year. I go through my calendar from the start of the year to the finish and note the relevant things. (You can also go through your photos for the year and relive those memories.) I’m always amazed at how quickly I forget or discount good things, how fun it is to bring them back to my attention, and how powerful it is to see them together. The collection tells a story.

You can also break it up by month to make it more digestible, as shown below.

January
  •   
February
  •   
March
  •   
April
  •   
(Etc.)
  •   

 

2. Challenges from This Past Year

Next, look at the difficulties. What did you struggle with? Where did you fall down?

Sometimes it’s cathartic to list them out. Also, it can be empowering to see all the things you’ve overcome. Or just appreciate the fact that you’re still standing despite the challenges.

Be sure to give yourself grace. The point is not to expect a perfect year. After all, this is life, with all its alluring and aggravating ups and downs. Best to approach this process with curiosity, openness, and self-compassion—and to avoid judgment and negative self-talk.

 

3. Aspirations for Next Year

Next, write down your hopes and dreams for the year to come. Think broadly here. For example, consider addressing the following areas:

  • health
  • relationships
  • work
  • education
  • service
  • fun
  • financial
  • personal development

Consider not only new things you want to bring into your life but also existing things you want to improve. Identify the ones that matter most to you—the areas in which change would most improve your happiness, fulfillment, and well-being. Ask yourself this:

How can you make the next year a great one?

 

4. Gratitude and Joys

Now, turn your attention to the top things you’re grateful for from the year (or even in your whole life, if you wish) and what (or who) has brought you the most joy. This will be a fun one.

 

5. Themes and Lessons Learned

Finally, look for themes or patterns. For example, were relationships the drivers of the highs and lows? Have you struggled to set boundaries with people in a way that’s dragging you down in multiple areas? Are you avoiding dealing with important matters?

What lessons have you learned this year? Are there take-aways that you can carry forward?

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences,
and failing to achieve anything useful.”
Margaret J. Wheatley, writer and teacher

(Note: In the five sections above, you can address both personal and professional matters together, if applicable, or you can separate them out. The key is to find what works best for you.)

 

Going Deeper on Your Annual Life Review: Extra Credit

If you want to go deeper with your annual life review, here are more things you can do that can be extremely valuable for the insights they provide:

 

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in key areas. This will help you identify your strongest areas and the areas that need work so you can act accordingly. For example, maybe you’re pleased with how things are going with your relationships and education but want to work on your health and finances? (Or vice versa.) (See my Quality of Life Assessment.)

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

 

Traps Test: Common Traps of Living

What are the things that are inhibiting your happiness and quality of life? Are you struggling with negative self-talk? Self-doubt? Overthinking? Comparing yourself to others? Settling for an okay experience of life instead of fighting for a great one? (See my Traps Test.)

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

Purpose Alignment Review

Is there a disconnect between the way you’re living and your purpose—your true reason for being? Or are they aligned? (See my article, “How to Discover Your Purpose.”)

“When we are clear about our purpose, or at least working toward it, our lives come together in powerful ways.”
Christopher Gergen & Gregg VanourekLIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives

 

Values Alignment Review

Are you building your life and time around what’s most important to you and upholding your deeply held beliefs? Or are you being pulled off course on these fronts? Are you honoring your core values? (See my Personal Values Exercise.)

“The more that we choose our goals based on our values and principles,
the more we enter into a positive cycle of energy, success, and satisfaction.”

-Neil Farber

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

Vision Alignment Review

Are you living in accordance with or working toward a bold and vivid picture of a better future? In pursuit of your dream of a good life? (See my article, “How to Craft a Vision of the Good Life.”)

(The good life is) “living in the place you belong, with the people you love, doing the right work—on purpose.”
Richard Leider and David Shapiro

 

Strengths Alignment Review

To what extent are you using your core strengths—the things you’re really good at—in your life and work? (See my Strengths Search.)

“Liberating and expressing your natural genius is your ultimate path to success and life satisfaction.”
Gay Hendricks, psychologist and author

Strengths Search

We all have core strengths–the things in which we most excel. Take this self-assessment to determine your core strengths so you can integrate them more into your life and work.

 

Passions Alignment Review

How prominent are the things that consume you with palpable emotion in your life—the things you love doing and that you find yourself circling back to? (See my Passion Probe.)

“Allow yourself to be silently guided by that which you love the most.”
-Rumi, 13th century poet and Sufi mystic

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

 

Goals Alignment Review

Are you not only clear about the desired results you’d like to achieve but also organizing your life and time accordingly? (See my Goals Guide: Best Practices in Setting and Pursuing Goals, and my Goal-Setting Template.)

“Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.”
Brian Tracy, author and speaker

Power Tip: Share your annual life review with someone you trust. Better yet, exchange reviews with that person and talk them through together. It’s a great way to get to know someone on a deeper level. And it can also help you take action on things going forward—an accountability partnership of sorts.

 

Call to Action

Doing an annual life review can bring more clarity and energy into your life. It can set you up for more action and momentum as you look to thrive in the new year.

Wishing you well with it, and please let me know if I can help.
Gregg

 

Tools for You

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Reflection and Annual Life Reviews

  • “There is one art of which people should be masters—the art of reflection.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge, English poet, philosopher, and theologian
  • “Before forging head-first into the future, take time to reflect on the past.” -Fadeka Adegbuyi, writer and content strategist
  • “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” -Peter Drucker, consultant, author, and expert on management and innovation
  • “I think technology is a wonderful thing that has to be used thoughtfully … What I am very disturbed about is this trend of everything happening faster and faster and there being more and more general noise in the world, and less and less time for quiet reflection on who we are, and where we’re going.” –Alan Lightman, physicist, educator, and writer
  • “In reflecting upon the year, do your best to examine and question, not dwell. You may have fallen short of your goals or experienced challenges that made for a hard year, but chances are you accomplished more than you think you did. No matter what you unearth in your annual review, you will have learned more about yourself and what you want in life and that counts for a lot. Reflect on the year gone by so you can move forward with renewed energy and optimism for all that’s to come.” -Fadeka Adegbuyi

 

Appendix: Other Approaches to an Annual Life Review

Of course, there are many different ways to do a life review, ranging from quite simple and straightforward to more detailed and complex. Below are two more examples.

Author James Clear keeps it simple. He calls it his “Annual Review,” and each year he addresses three simple but powerful questions:

What went well this year?
What didn’t go so well this year?
What did I learn this year?

(In 2017, he changed the third question from “What am I working toward?” to “What did I learn this year?”)

(My Annual Review) “will give me a chance to take stock of what went well and what could have gone better, while also giving me a moment to enjoy the progress I’ve made over the past 12 months.
But it’s not just about looking back. A good Annual Review is also about looking toward the future and thinking about how the life I’m living now is building toward a bigger mission. Basically, my Annual Review forces me to look at my actions over the past 12 months and ask, ‘Are my choices helping me live the life I want to live?’”

-James Clear, “My 2013 Annual Review

By contrast, executive coach Steve Schlafman uses a more comprehensive approach with the following topics:

  • Noting Your Key Moments & Milestones
  • Reflecting on & Examining Key Topics:
    • Success & Growth (e.g., biggest successes, how you grew, good habits, new skills, biggest obstacles you overcame, best decisions, risks and rewards)
    • Failure & Falling Short (e.g., biggest failures, goals you didn’t reach, bad habits, worst decisions)
    • People & Relationships (e.g., healthy new relationships, most impactful relationship, ones you value most)
    • Lessons & Themes (e.g., top lessons learned, peak moments, worst moments, short summary of the year, what you’re most thankful for)
  • Assessing Your Life in Key Areas (i.e., health, family/friends, love, money, career, spirituality, personal growth, fun, technology, environment)
  • Planning for the New Year in Key Areas:
    • Goals & Growth (e.g., three big goals for the year, new skills to develop, a superpower you plan to use to achieve your goals, how you want to be different by the end of the year, who you want to become)
    • Moving On (e.g., what you want or need to stop doing)
    • Habits & Behaviors (e.g., habits you’ll start, stop, and continue)
    • Fears & Obstacles (e.g., how you’ll face your fears, obstacles you’ll address)
    • Relationships (e.g., who warrants more attention, who you want a new relationship with, who you’ll help)
    • Next Steps & Planning (e.g., next steps you’ll take toward your goals, resources needed, who you’ll ask for help, how to create early wins, how to evaluate progress)

Think about which format works best for you. And feel free to design your own, either from scratch or by building on, combining, or tweaking the approaches above. The key thing is to do something that will help you reflect, plan, and take action.

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

What Are Your Leadership Derailers?

Here’s the thing: we all want to be better leaders.

But too often we focus on what to do as leaders while neglecting what not to do.

That’s where leadership derailers come in—the things that take us off track and inhibit our leadership effectiveness. If we want to be good leaders, we must be aware of our derailers and begin working on them.

“Most books about leadership tell us what a person ought to do to become effective and powerful. Few tell us what to avoid. But the latter may be even more valuable because many people on the road to success are tripped up by their mistakes and weaknesses.”David Gergen, political commentator and senior advisor to four U.S. presidents, from his book, Eyewitness to Power

10 Common Leadership Derailers

Here are ten common derailers, based on my research and work with leaders from many different industries, sectors, countries, and stages of career development:

  1. Avoidance: avoiding difficult tasks, situations, or conflicts.
  2. Burnout: becoming run-down and feeling exhausted, often due to lack of self-care.
  3. Bottleneck: feeling you must make all decisions or taking on too much work yourself, causing delays.
  4. Delegation: not entrusting tasks to others sufficiently, leading to reduced motivation.
  5. Feedback: not providing feedback well or often enough, or not soliciting it enough or receiving it well.
  6. Insecurity: lacking confidence about leading or feeling unqualified to lead; being unassertive.
  7. Perfectionism: setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or others; needing things to be flawless.
  8. Procrastination: putting things off until later or the last minute.
  9. Short Game: failing to invest in the future and deciding important things without considering the long term.
  10. Workaholism: being addicted to work and struggling to switch it off or stop thinking about it.

While these are common derailers, there are many more. In fact, I’ve identified more than sixty derailers that inhibit leadership effectiveness.

What are your top leadership derailers? And what will you do about them?

See our new Leadership Derailers Assessment to find out—and then get to work on improving your leadership.

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

 

Reflection Questions

  1. What do you struggle with as a leader?
  2. What will you do about it, starting today?
  3. Who will you ask for help?

This always works best when colleagues openly discuss it together. We all have derailers. We all have work to do. So get real. And get busy with the important work of intentional leadership development. Reach out if you think I may be able to help.

Gregg

 

Tools for You

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Leadership Derailers

  • “Instead of learning from other people’s success, learn from their mistakes. Most of the people who fail share common reasons, whereas success can be attributed to various different kinds of reasons.” –Jack Ma, Chinese entrepreneur, investor, and philanthropist

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, TEDx speaker, and coach on leadership and personal development. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for integrating our life and work with purpose, passion, and contribution) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Why Conflict Is Good–And How to Manage It

Do you know how to manage conflict well? Most people avoid conflict. Why?

There are many reasons, with fear at the heart of them all:

  • Fear of tension
  • Fear of hurting others
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of escalation of tough issues
  • Fear of a break in the relationship
  • Fear of an unexpected outcome, perhaps tougher to manage
  • Fear of being viewed as a troublemaker
  • Fear of retaliation
  • Fear of having to deal with difficult consequences

These fears are understandable. So we end up avoiding it like the plague.

“In my work with leaders and their teams, I’ve discovered that a universal talent is the ability to avoid conversations about attitude, behavior, or poor performance.”
Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations

 

Signs of Conflict Avoidance

Conflict avoidance is widespread in organizations and teams. Signs of it in action:

  • People hold back and withhold opinions.
  • Meetings are boring or lame because people don’t really engage.
  • Team members don’t challenge each other.
  • Teams slide toward mediocrity since recurring issues never get addressed.
  • Leaders don’t invite differing views.
  • Some people are allowed to remain silent during meetings.
  • People say what they really feel only behind others’ backs.
  • Managers don’t get critical information.
  • People get cynical or burned out because the same problems keep reappearing.
  • People develop blind spots because they never get the feedback they need that’s tough and necessary.
  • People sense that the leader is abdicating responsibility by letting some things remain undiscussable.

Do you recognize these signs in your context? Here’s the problem: conflict is good for teams. In fact, it’s essential.

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

 

Mining for Conflict (Stop One in How to Manage Conflict)

Author Patrick Lencioni writes about a conflict continuum, ranging from artificial harmony on one end to mean-spirited personal attacks on the other, with most organizations leaning toward the former. The ideal conflict point is in the middle.

Productive conflict is what we need. Respectful conflict. Conflict grounded in trust. And conflict centered around shared goals, not egos or agendas.

Conflict can’t be productive without high levels of trust. How can you feel comfortable airing out the real issues if you don’t trust the people in the room? Without that trust, and the productive conflict it allows, how can the team drive toward shared commitments, accountability, and results?

With high trust and a focus on shared goals, we can channel conflict toward the pursuit of truth (what’s really going on here?) and the quest for high performance, instead of feeble attempts by fragile egos to notch points.

Managing conflict is hard because most people run away from it or get triggered by it, allowing stimuli to hijack their response. It’s uncomfortable because it elicits a physiological response: chemicals, hormones, blood flow, and heart rate signal “Danger, danger!”

Part of the job of leaders is to create an environment where people feel comfortable engaging in conflict instead of fleeing it. Better yet, viewing it as an asset. As a potential advantage.

Leaders must have the self-awareness and emotional intelligence to recognize that people handle conflict differently, based on their personality, upbringing, culture, and more. We must learn to read each other and help each other navigate this difficult terrain.

Lencioni recommends that leaders “mine for conflict,” almost like it’s gold. Why? Some of the real breakthroughs can only be found on the other side of conflict.

 

How to Mine for Conflict

How does this work in practice? A leader must go digging for buried disagreements or the things that aren’t being said. Also, a leader must have the courage to bring the group’s attention to sensitive issues, where people feel uncomfortable, and push them to work through the issues despite the awkwardness and difficulty. A leader mustn’t let people avoid the issues or sensitive discussions. In addition, a leader must create a holding environment where it’s safe for some sparks to fly.

One leadership practice here is counterintuitive: catch people disagreeing during a meeting and praise them for modeling needed behavior. Remind them that the goal is not to focus on who wins, but on how conflict can help us understand core issues, root causes, and possible solutions.

By doing this, leaders can reframe conflict from a behavioral taboo to a necessary practice in the quest for excellence.

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

Regulate the Temperature

Another leadership practice here is “regulating the temperature.” Most teams generate friction and heat in their work together, especially in pressure-filled situations. Too often, leaders step in and artificially dial down the temperature as people start to feel uncomfortable.

That’s a mistake. The key is to keep the temperature hot enough—but not too hot—so that productive disagreement can continue as people work through the tension and start approaching solutions, instead of sweeping things under the rug.

Another leadership practice: depersonalize conflict. Reframe it away from who’s scoring points and toward a quest for understanding and a commitment to the shared vision.

A final leadership practice: driving to clear agreements and closure at the end of meetings. Too often, teams end meetings with ambiguity. People leave the meeting without a clear understanding of exactly what was decided and who’ll do what by when. Many meetings are poorly run, with tangents and poor time management. Attendees leave the meeting before a crisp accounting of the decisions and next steps is made. Leaders need to build in adequate time for this critical last step.

 

Not Just for Managers or Others in a Position of Authority

Important note: the leadership practices above don’t apply just to managers who have a formal position of authority. Distinguishing between leadership and authority, we note that anybody in a team can employ these leadership practices, regardless of their title. In our book, Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations, we noted the advanced leadership practice of building a culture of stewardship in which leaders unleash the leadership, initiative, creativity, and commitment of everybody in the organization by giving them an automatic license to lead, as long as they operate by the shared values. Conflict management is a skill we all need.

 

Conclusion: How to Manage Conflict

The bottom line: while most people avoid it, we should embrace conflict as a necessary part of effective teamwork (and relationships generally)—and learn how to manage it well.

Productive conflict saves time.

It builds trust.

And it leads to better results.

Productive conflict is a prerequisite for high-performing teams and trusting relationships.

Avoid conflict at your peril.

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

 

Recommended Books on Managing Conflict Effectively

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, & TEDx speaker on personal development & leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Leadership and Psychological Safety in Teams

The problems in far too many organizations today are legion:

  • Unproductive, boring meetings
  • Astonishing amounts of wasted time
  • Avoidance of sensitive issues
  • Lack of full engagement
  • Reluctance to provide candid, constructive feedback
  • Political games and hidden agendas

Sound familiar?

The effects are far-reaching, from low quality work to employee turnover. According to a Corporate Executive Board study: “Nearly half of all executive teams fail to receive negative news that is material to firm performance in a timely manner because employees are afraid of being tainted by the bad news,” and only “19% of executive teams are always promptly informed of bad news that is material to firm performance.”

“So many times, I’ve heard people say, ‘I knew our strategy wasn’t working, but no one was willing to tell our CEO. No one wanted to lose their job.” –Susan Scott in Fierce Conversations

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

 

Avoiding Important Conversations

Andrew Kakabadse found that a very high percentage of top management team members in countries around the world report that there are issues not discussed because they are too sensitive, as shown below.

Lack of Dialogue among Top Management Team about Sensitive Issues (% of top management team members reporting that there are issues that should be aired but are not discussed because they’re too sensitive)

Source: Andrew Kakabadse, The Success Formula: How Smart Leaders Deliver Outstanding Value (Bloomsbury, 2015).

A related problem is groupthink—when people feel pressure to conform to an artificial consensus instead of pressure-testing ideas thoroughly without fear or favor.

What’s to be done?

 

Psychological Safety

What’s needed—desperately in some cases—is what Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson and others call psychological safety. It’s a shared sense that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. As with floating a new idea for improving performance, raising a concern, or admitting a mistake.

Timothy R. Clark notes that psychological safety exists when people feel included and safe to learn, contribute, and challenge the status quo—“all without fear of being embarrassed, marginalized, or punished.”

Easier said than done.

Our neurological wiring helps explain why psychological safety is fragile: our brains process a raised voice or a cutting comment as a threat, triggering certain parts of the brain with a fight-or-flight response and shutting down the parts responsible for advanced reasoning and creativity. We become unable to think clearly just when we need it most.

Edmondson found that “Low levels of psychological safety can create a culture of silence… in which speaking up is belittled and warnings go unheeded.”

She notes that speaking up is only the beginning. If a manager responds negatively when someone raises a concern, it reduces or eliminates psychological safety.

She also notes that “psychologically safe workplaces have a powerful advantage in competitive industries.” That’s because they benefit from the feedback loops when customer service agents raise concerns with their managers or when line workers mention production problems to their supervisors, thereby identifying opportunities for improvement. In too many organizations, people are afraid to speak up, and so they don’t share their ideas.

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

The Importance of Trust—And Conflict

To create psychological safety we must build trust. Stephen M. R. Covey has noted that with high trust in organizations, speed increases and costs decrease.

Enter the work of Patrick Lencioni. He noted the value of conflict in organizations (productive, not destructive, conflict). Most people view conflict as something to avoid, because it’s awkward and uncomfortable.

Healthy teams use conflict productively, for example, to work through a difficult problem or understand the root cause of a breakdown. Lencioni observes that the best leaders “mine for conflict,” almost like it’s gold.

“Weak leaders want agreement. Strong leaders want the truth.” -Susan Scott in Fierce Conversations

Most teams run from conflict like it’s the plague. The first “dysfunction of a team” noted by Lencioni is an absence of trust. When people aren’t comfortable being vulnerable in the group (due to a lack of psychological safety), it’s impossible to build a foundation of trust. That’s because people are not open about their mistakes, weaknesses, and needs for help.

This tees up the second dysfunction: fear of conflict. Without trust, team members can’t engage in an unfiltered and vigorous debate, instead relying on veiled discussions and guarded comments that don’t get anywhere near the core issues.

“Trust is the foundation of real teamwork…. Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal…. The most important action that a leader must take to encourage the building of trust on a team is to demonstrate vulnerability first.” -Patrick Lencioni

By showing vulnerability, leaders model the way and open a space where others feel comfortable doing the same.

The results of disciplined attention to these matters over time can be extraordinary. With high levels of psychological safety, fueled by vulnerability and trust, people rise to new heights of performance and engagement.

Psychological safety, while fragile and rare, is precious and powerful. The best leaders cultivate it carefully.

 

Tools for You

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, TEDx speaker, and coach on leadership and personal development. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for integrating our life and work with purpose, passion, and contribution) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Importance of Credibility in Leadership

Credibility: the quality of being worthy of belief and trust

Credibility, which flows from character and competence, is one of the most essential aspects of leadership. High credibility is a tremendous asset for leaders seeking to achieve exceptional performance and positive impacts. Low credibility is devastating.

Credible leaders are straight with people, even about hard topics. They walk the talk and practice what they preach. They do what they say they will do and follow through on promises.

Think about what you have wanted from your leaders, parents, teachers, and coaches over the years. Next, think of the impact that credible leaders have had on your life. And think of the kind of leader you would want your children or best friend to work for.

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

Characteristics of Admired Leaders

Leadership scholars James Kouzes and Barry Posner, authors of the best-selling classic, The Leadership Challenge, have been surveying people around the world for decades on the “Characteristics of Admired Leaders.” More than 100,000 people worldwide have responded, and the findings are powerful and surprisingly consistent across nations:

“In every survey we’ve conducted, honesty is selected more often than any other leadership characteristic. Overall, it emerges as the single most important factor in the leader-constituent relationship…. First and foremost, people want a leader who is honest…. “…people want to follow leaders who, more than anything, are credible. Credibility is the foundation of leadership. People must be able, above all else, to believe in their leaders. To willingly follow them, people must believe that the leaders’ word can be trusted.” -James Kouzes and Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge

Table 1. Characteristics of Admired Leaders
(% of respondents selecting each characteristic over time periods)

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

 

The Benefits of Leadership Credibility

According to their research, when people perceive their manager to have high credibility, they are significantly more likely to:

  • Be proud to tell others they’re part of the organization
  • Feel a strong sense of team spirit
  • See their own personal values as consistent with those of the organization
  • Feel attached and committed to the organization
  • Have a sense of ownership of the organization

When they perceive their manager to have low credibility, they are significantly more likely to:

  • Produce only if carefully watched
  • Be motivated primarily by money
  • Say good things about the organization publicly but criticize it privately
  • Consider looking for another job if the organization experiences problems
  • Feel unsupported and unappreciated

That leads them to the Kouzes-Posner 1st Law of Leadership:

“If you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message.”

And then to the Kouzes-Posner 2nd Law of Leadership:

DWYSYWD: “Do what you say you will do.”

Today we all face grave challenges, from the pandemic and economic crisis, with all their stresses and pressures, to competitive and technological disruption. Now more than ever we need credible leaders worthy of our belief and trust.

What are you doing to build leadership credibility?

“Credibility is a leader’s currency. With it, he or she is solvent; without it, he or she is bankrupt.”
-John C. Maxwell, leadership author

 

Tools for You

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

 

Related Articles

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, TEDx speaker, and coach on leadership and personal development. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!