Create a life you love with Gregg's "Crafting Your Life and Work course"

Linkedin X-twitter Facebook Youtube
Traps
Test

Gregg Vanourek

Why Does Life Feel So Heavy? (And What to Do About It)

by
A woman wearing a cozy sweater looking visibly frazzled and experiencing emotional exhaustion, illustrating the feeling of why does life feel so heavy.

Article Summary: 

If you’ve been wondering why does life feel so heavy right now, you’re not alone. The weight you’re carrying is real. And there’s a way through.

+++

If you find yourself asking why does life feel so heavy right now—and if you’re vaguely anxious even when you don’t know why—you’re not alone. Something real is happening to all of us. And we need to understand why.

There are three main factors driving our contextual discontent:

disruption
uncertainty
disconnection

 

I. Disruption

Disruption isn’t just change. It’s change that’s outpacing our current ability to adapt. It leaves us scrambling to find our footing while the ground keeps moving. That’s the defining experience of this moment in history we’re in. What makes it especially heavy is this: we’re not facing one disruption right now. We’re facing four.

Economic Disruption: We’re faced with rising costs, unaffordable homes, and a strange job market. Young people especially are feeling locked out. Many people are doing everything right—working hard and saving what they can—but still finding that the life they imagined keeps drifting beyond their grasp. The home they want has become a fantasy. The job market sends mixed signals. College degrees don’t open the doors they used to. For younger people, there’s a sobering realization that the economic escalator their parents rode may have stopped moving. The social contract has been torn to shreds.

Geopolitical Disruption: The global order that once felt stable no longer does. We’re watching wars unfold in real time on our phones. Alliances that once seemed permanent are being renegotiated or even trashed by leaders. We’re witnessing the resurgent rivalry between great powers. And we’re suspecting that the leaders who were supposed to be managing all of this may not have it quite as in hand as we’d like.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Technological Disruption: Screens consume so many of our waking hours. Social media strains our mental health. AI is rapidly reshaping whole industries. We didn’t sign up to become test subjects in a decades-long experiment on human attention, but that’s effectively what happened. And the results are alarming. The platforms said to connect us have left many people feeling more isolated, more agitated, and less sure of what’s actually true. Parents watch children disappear into devices and feel the unnerving gap between recgonizing the problem and not knowing what to do about it. Layered on top of all of that comes AI, with its jarring capacity and unsettling speed. It’s moving faster than our political institutions, our education systems, or our own sense of place in the word can comfortably absorb. And it’s accelerating.

Pandemic Disruption: Though we’d like to pretend otherwise, we’re still recovering from the global coronavirus shock. From the lockdowns, the closures, the social isolation. Those wounds haven’t fully healed. For millions of people, the pandemic didn’t end so much as it dissolved into everyday life, leaving behind a residue that’s hard to describe and harder to shake. Strained relationships. Interrupted careers. Abandoned businesses. Altered workplaces. Shocked school systems. Lost childhood years. The world carried on, but underneath something shifted under our feet.

Each of these disruptions alone is a lot to absorb. Together, the economic, geopolitical, technological, and pandemic disruptions create a hum of ambient dread that’s now the oppressive invisible background of our everyday life—a hum we stop noticing because it never goes away.

Montage with 4 images depicting disruption. Upper left: volatile economic charts and graphs. Upper right: global map with orange outlines around countries. Lower left: kids lost in the glow of their tech devices. Lower right: middle-aged daughter and older mother with mask on separated by a window during pandemic social distancing.

 

II. Uncertainty

We live in an age of profound uncertainty. Questions abound: Will prices come down? Will the job market stabilize? What kind of world are we leaving our children and grandchildren? How will climate change reshape the world in the years to come? What will happen with income inequality, and with democracy? How will AI change our lives?

The human mind craves predictability because it helps us feel safe, plan, and move forward with confidence. When the future grows murky, our minds work overtime, scanning for threats and rehearsing worst-case scenarios. All this uncertainty pulls us into an exhausting mental doom loop.

 

III. Disconnection

Underneath the disruption and uncertainty lies something quieter and perhaps more corrosive: disconnection. In many ways, we’re less connected to each other than we have been in generations. Screens have replaced many of the human moments that nourish us. Our polarized media environment has made it harder to share common ground—or even a shared sense of reality—with our neighbors and friends. The pandemic years accelerated what was already happening, normalizing isolation in ways we are only beginning to reckon with.

For many of us, our lives are busy… but not as meaningful as we’d like.
Our days are productive… but not as joyful as we’d like.
Our lives are overly full… but not as fulfilling as we’d like.

We’re also increasingly disconnected from ourselves. When clickbait content and breaking news compete for every spare moment of our attention, our inner life—our wise inner voice that guides us—gets crowded out. We stay busy. We’re perpetually distracted and often numb. At some point, the path inward gets paved over.

 

Why Does Life Feel So Heavy and What Can You Do About It?

What to do about all this disruption, uncertainty, and disconnection that’s weighing us down and pulling us apart? Of course, there’s no app for this. No quick fix.

But there are things you can do to stay grounded.

 

First, in the wake of disruption, drop anchor.

Anchor yourself in things that endure: your humanity, your purpose, your values, your family, your community, your faith. You can weather the storm better when you have something solid to grasp hold of.

 

Second, in the wake of uncertainty, seek clarity.

You can’t control the future, but you can know yourself. Get clear on who you are and what matters most. That clarity becomes your compass when everything else shifts.

 

And third, in the wake of disconnection, reconnect.

The forces pulling you away from yourself and others are relentless and well-resourced. The forces holding you together require your active choice and disciplined attention. So put down the screen. Call your friend. Sit in silence long enough to hear yourself think. Return to your faith, your community, your own vast and mysterious interior. Reconnection isn’t handed to you. You have to claim it.

 

When you’re caught in the middle of cascading upheaval, it makes sense to ask, Why does life feel so heavy? Asking this question doesn’t signal weakness. It’s a completely normal response to the weight of our current world. And heaviness isn’t destined to become defeat or overwhelm.

Dropping anchor, seeking clarity, and reconnecting aren’t distant ideals to aspire to when life settles down. They’re practices for recentering now, in the middle of the chaos and the noise.

The storm may not let up soon. But you can steady yourself within it.

Drop anchor.
Get clear.
Reconnect.

Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on What to Do When Life Feels So Heavy

  • “She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.” -Elizabeth Edwards, author, attorney, and activist
  • “We don’t even know how strong we are until we are forced to bring that hidden strength forward.” -Isabel Allende, author
  • “There is peace even in the storm.” -Vincent van Gogh, Dutch painter
  • “Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up.” -Mary Holloway, physician and philanthropist
  • “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” -Charles Bukowski, German-American poet
  • “A genius is the man who can do the average thing when everyone else around him is losing his mind.” -Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor
  • “A good person dyes events with his own color… and turns whatever happens to his own benefit.” -Seneca, ancient Roman Stoic philosopher
  • “Divide the fire and you will sooner put it out.” -Publilius Syrus, Latin writer
  • “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.” -Alan Watts, British-American writer
  • “It is not in the still calm of life or the repose of a pacific situation that great characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulty. Great necessities call out great virtues.” -Abigail Adams, letter to son, John Quincy Adams, 1780

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion, co-authored with Christopher Gergen) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards, co-authored with his father, Bob Vanourek). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Self-Focus Trap (and How to Escape It)

by
A blackboard with the words “Me Myself And I” written in chalk, representing the self-focus trap and the need to stop thinking about yourself.

Summary: The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the less happy and successful you’ll be. Yet most of us do it constantly—overthinking, ruminating, and obsessing over how others see us. This post names the traps that keep you stuck in your own head and shows you how to stop thinking about yourself so much—so you can get back to actually living and enjoying your life more.

+++

Most of us spend an inordinate amount of time inside our own heads.

Replaying conversations. Over-interpreting signals. Imagining how we’re being perceived from moment to moment, like we’re starring in a feature film.

Here’s the thing: nobody’s watching. We’re alone in our private mental theater.

Here are everyday examples of this phenomenon in action:

 

The Pause: After you make a comment in a meeting, there’s a brief silence. Your mental script:

I guess that didn’t land.
I should’ve said it differently.
They think I’m a lightweight.

The reality: everybody is thinking about their lunch order. The moment passed. But you’re still oddly obsessed with how others are evaluating you (when they’re not).

 

The Social Interaction: You run into a former colleague at the grocery story and chat for a couple minutes. Later, you revisit the conversation:

Did I talk too much?
Did I sound weird?
Why did I say it like that?

The reality: She moved on completely. No replay, no analysis, no second thought. You? Still wondering how you came across. How freeing it is to realize others don’t care as much as we think.

 

The Entrance: You walk into a room at a weekend gathering and suddenly become self-conscious and hyper-aware:

Am I walking awkwardly?
Do I look stiff?
Is my smile weird?
What if they don’t like me?

The reality: Everyone is deep in their own inner world. You have an audience of one.

 

The Text Message: Your friend takes longer than usual to respond to your text message. Your mental script:

Did I say something wrong?
Is she upset?
Did I mess something up?

The reality: She was busy with meetings and errands and got distracted.

 

The Social Media Post: You post something on social media about a personal milestone. Your mental script:

Am I coming across the wrong way?
Why did I phrase it like that?
Did I overshare?
Am I trying too hard?
Is it cringe?
How many likes do I have?

The reality: people are just scrolling to pass the time and take their mind off a busy day. Most of your friends never saw the post.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

The Common Traps of Living and Thinking about Yourself Too Much

In my work on the common traps of living (the things that inhibit our happiness and quality of life), I’ve seen how thinking about yourself too much only gets you deeper in the traps. Some examples:

 

The Trap of Overthinking: You say something simple… then mentally revisit it 12 times.

Should I have said it differently?
How was my tone?
Did my face look funny?

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re preoccupied with self-evaluation when you should be moving on and taking action to make things better.

 

The Trap of Worrying: You’ve got a big project coming up and you’re thinking:

What if this goes wrong?
What if I mess it up?
What will it mean for my career?

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re rehearsing problems that haven’t happened and how they’ll make you look or feel instead of figuring out ways to put yourself in the best position possible and then trusting your efforts and expertise.

 

The Trap of Ruminating: Your brain picks a moment and refuses to let it go. Same scene. Same thought. Same feeling. No new information. Just rewind and repeat relentlessly. It’s your mind saying: “Let’s watch this awkward moment again… for the 57th time.”

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re replaying how you’re thinking and feeling when you should be letting it go and moving on.

 

The Trap of Monkey Mind: You sit down to focus… and suddenly:

Did I lock my car? Should I go back and check?
I should drink more water. Am I dehydrated?
Do penguins get dehydrated?
Why did I make such a fool of myself at the 8th grade dance?
I love 80s music.
What should I have for dinner?

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’ve got too many tabs open in your head when you should be bringing your awareness back to the present moment and joining the dance of life right in front of you.

 

The Trap of Negative Self-Talk: You make a mistake on a work project and the internal commentary kicks in:

That was dumb.
Of course I messed that up.
I should’ve known better.
I’m such an idiot!

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re being your own toughest critic and overly focused on your feelings and your standing with others when you should be forgiving and curious about how you can improve.

 

The Trap of Comparing: You’re doing fine… until you look sideways. Then suddenly:

He was quicker to get a promotion. What does that say about me?
She looks amazing in photos. Me, not so much.
They took their family to the Caribbean this year. What did we do?
Their house could be in a magazine feature. Mine is a mess.

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re focused on an invisible scorecard when you should be connecting with and contributing to others more.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

The Trap of Perfectionism: You want your presentation next week to be polished. Impeccable even. So you:

delay starting
over-edit and over-prepare
overthink the outcome

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re obsessed with how you’ll be seen when you should be focusing on making progress and learning from mistakes.

 

The Trap of Limiting Beliefs: You’re thinking:

I’m not the kind of person who starts a business.
Better not to try because I might fail.
I’m not a creative person.
I’m not good with numbers.
That’s not for people like me.

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’ve got old stories running in the back of your head when you should be focusing on the different ways you can add value step by step.

 

The Trap of Fear: Fear isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it just sounds like:

I’ll do it later.
Now’s not the right time.
I need to prepare more.

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re thinking about how things will reflect back on you when you should be focused on doing what needs to be done for your family or your team or your community.

 

The Trap of Feeling Behind: You’re fine until you look around and start comparing timelines with people around you:

I should be where they are.
I’m late to the game and I’ll never catch up.
I missed my shot.

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re obsessed with where you are in someone else’s timeline when you should be focused on your best next move and trusting the process from there, knowing it’s not a race.

 

The Trap of Catastrophizing: What could be “This might not work” magically morphs into “This will fail spectacularly.” Your mind fills in gaps with the far-fetched worst-case scenarios—and then acts as if it’s real.

Stop thinking about yourself so much (STAYSM)! You’re turning uncertainty into destined disaster and obsessing over what could go dreadfully wrong for you when you should be focusing on small actions in your control.

 

What to Focus on Instead of Yourself

When the problem is getting stuck inside your own head so much, the solution isn’t to “try harder not to think about yourself.” That just creates more thinking about yourself. The shift is simpler:

Start redirecting your attention to who and what’s in front of you.
When your attention turns inward, gentle reroute it outward.

Here’s what that looks in real life.

 

1. Focus on what’s in front of you, not what’s “about you.” Most moments aren’t actually about you. A meeting isn’t about dissecting your every move under a microscope. A conversation isn’t a commentary on your worth. A delay in response isn’t a judgment.

Usually, it’s just life unfolding in its own way and in its own time. So instead of thinking about how you’re doing in this situation and how others may be perceiving and judging you (even though they probably aren’t), focus instead on: What’s happening here that actually matters? What’s interesting?

 

2. Move from self-concern to contribution. When people get stuck in their heads, they often start watching themselves:

How am I coming across?
Am I saying this right?
Do I look stupid?

But the alternative is much more freeing: “What can I contribute right now?” Even something seemingly small: A helpful question. Some needed clarity. A rare kind word. Contribution pulls you out of self-observation and into solidarity and value creation.

 

3. Get curious about other people. While self-focus narrows your attention, curiosity expands it. Instead of mentally checking yourself and how people are perceiving you, try shifting outward:

What’s going on for them?
What are they trying to figure out?
What matters to them right now?

It’s hard to obsess about yourself when you’re genuinely interested in someone else.

 

4. Just do the next best thing in front of you, one step at a time. A lot of mental spiraling happens when you’re not in action mode. So the question becomes simple:

What’s the next best thing I can do right now?

Not the perfect thing; not the amazing thing; not the huge thing. Just the next logical concrete step: Send the message. Start the task. Make the call.

 

5. Let moments be smaller than your mind makes them. You’re probably blowing things out of proportion. An awkward comment becomes a social flop. A mistake becomes a reflection of who you are.

But most moments are actually small, simple, and quickly forgotten.

Here are other things you can do to stop thinking about yourself so much:

  • Do things that occupy your mind (and even better if they help you get into a state of flow).
  • Stop taking everything so personally.
  • Stop taking yourself too seriously.
  • Remember this: It’s not all about you!

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Final Thoughts

You don’t escape self-focus by thinking differently. You escape it by shifting attention outward—into curiosity, contribution, and action.

Stop turning inward and turn outward instead. Focus more on living. In the moment, in the now. Pay attention as things are unfolding in front of you.

You may want happiness and success, but the more time you spend thinking about yourself and whether you’re getting them, the less happy and successful you’ll be.

Think about it for a moment. Right now, babies are taking their first breath. People are falling in love. Someone is hearing good news they’ve waited years for. Others are hearing bad news. Our planet is spinning and floating in a magnificent and miraculous universe of God’s creation. And you’re here for such a brief, beautiful window of it. One day, you too will leave this life. Memento mori.

So start fully living… by not thinking about yourself so much.

STAYSM: Stop thinking about yourself so much!

Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on the Self-Focus Trap

  • “Most people are in love with their particular life drama. Their story is their identity. The ego runs their life. They have their whole sense of self invested in it.” -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “…we must give ourselves permission to stop thinking about ourselves, to know that it’s not all about us. In that knowledge, in that permission, is sweet liberation…. Taking our minds off ourselves is a radical act, an open revolt and a blessed relief.” -S. Rufus, author
  • “In my own practice, I am seeing a growing tendency for some people to become overly self-focused and, at times, emotionally fragile.” -Dr. Heather Sequeria, consultant psychologist
  • “I think you guys might be thinking about yourselves too much.” -actor Jemima Kirke, the former GIRLS star, when asked for her advice for “unconfident young women”
  • “I realised that thinking about other people… was a healing balm.” -Victoria Spratt, journalist
  • “When the ego dies, the soul awakes.” -Mahatma Gandhi, Indian lawyer and transformational leader
  • “As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled.” -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “…self-loathing is self-absorption—just as unhealthy, useless and isolating as the self-absorption we despise in narcissists. Like narcissists, although for different reasons, we think constantly about ourselves.” -S. Rufus, author

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion, co-authored with Christopher Gergen) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards, co-authored with his father, Bob Vanourek). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Beyond the Inner Critic: How to Practice Self-Compassion

by
Woman thinking about how to practice self-compassion at conference table

Article Summary: 

You’re often your own harshest critic—judging yourself and speaking to yourself in ways you’d never do to others. Here you’ll discover how to practice self-compassion as a potent antidote.

+++

When the meeting ended, some people nodded and smiled. But that’s not what stuck with Rachel.

What stuck with her was the prospect’s question she didn’t answer fully. The slide she knew she could’ve explained better. The moment she fumbled for words.

By the time she got back to her desk, she was berating herself:

You blew it. After all that practice. What an idiot.

It didn’t matter that the prospect followed up with interest.

Instead, she replayed her mistakes again and again.

What’s wrong with you?

By the end of the day, she was drained, discouraged, and quietly dreading her next presentation.

But what Rachel needed wasn’t more self-flagellation and judgment. It was self-compassion.

 

What Is Self-Compassion

Compassion is the feeling you get when you’re faced with the suffering of another and you’re motivated to relieve it. With self-compassion, you simply turn that feeling and motivation inward.

According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research and a University of Texas professor, self-compassion has three elements:

  1. self-kindness: being kind and understanding toward yourself when you’re having negative feelings and not being harsh in judging yourself
  2. mindfulness: noticing your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them, which only leads to further suffering
  3. common humanity: perceiving your pain or discomfort as part of our shared human experience and not falling into the trap of overly dramatizing your pain

When you’re exercising self-compassion, you stop being your own enemy and you start being an ally to yourself.

Sometimes it feels easier to be compassionate with others than it does with yourself. The thought of self-compassion might make you feel undeserving, self-indulgent, or needy. It might summon embarrassment or shame.

Self-compassion may feel unfamiliar to you because it wasn’t modeled to you when you were young. You may have grown up with parents who were harsh and judgmental with themselves and/or others. They have been overly critical of you and made you feel rejected.

In her book Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach notes that you may be in the habit of distancing yourself from emotional pain—things like anger, jealousy, or fear—by “covering it over with self-judgment.” In fact, some people do this their whole lives, often without even being aware of it. And they can be brutal about it.

Self-compassion isn’t about suppressing your pain or trying to will it away. Rather it’s about accepting that you’re feeling pain but treating yourself with care and kindness—and giving yourself comfort and support. (1)

In her book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Dr. Neff busts some common misconceptions about self-compassion. The highlights: It’s not a form of self-pity, and it doesn’t signal weakness. Self-compassion won’t make you complacent. And it’s not selfish or narcissistic.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

The Benefits of Practicing Self-Compassion

Self-compassion brings a wide range of benefits. When you practice it, you’ll likely have lower levels of anxiety and depression. It will make you less likely to engage in rumination and less likely to suppress your thoughts and feelings (which can be harmful). Self-compassion can help you address perfectionism. It can make you more likely to learn from your mistakes and to persist through adversity while also enhancing your ability to cope with failure.

Practicing self-compassion can lead to significant improvements in your social connectedness and relationships. It can boost your motivation for self-improvement by avoiding the cycle of negative self-talk, and it can lead to greater overall life satisfaction.

But there are things that can get in the way. According to Dr. Neff, things like self-judgment, isolation, and overidentification can inhibit self-compassion.

 

How to Practice Self-Compassion

The path to self-compassion begins with changing how you relate to yourself when things go wrong. Here are 10 ways you can practice self-compassion:

1. Notice when you’re being critical of yourself. For example, are you calling yourself names or talking down to yourself? (“You’re such an idiot. I can’t believe how stupid you are. You’re so pathetic.”) If you’re like others, it may be when you’re experiencing disappointment or failure—or shame, embarrassment, or humiliation.

2. Shift your perspective outward. Consider how you would respond to a friend in the same situation. Chances are, you’d be far more understanding with them than you are with yourself. Why not take that gentler and more supportive approach with yourself?

3. Be tolerant of your mistakes, flaws, and inadequacies. Recognize that you’re only human, and that nobody is perfect. Remind yourself that self-criticism is not only ineffective but also damaging. Trying to motivate yourself to change by being extra harsh on yourself is a recipe for failure.

4. Engage in positive self-talk. Notice the tone of your inner voice. When it turns harsh or critical, gently interrupt it and replace it with something more supportive. You don’t have to be over the top. Just speak to yourself in a way that’s grounded in reality and fair while also encouraging.

5. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling isn’t unique to you. There are many people far and wide who are probably experiencing what you’re experiencing and feeling the way you’re feeling. We all experience the ups and downs of life.

6. Place your pain and suffering in the larger context of the human journey of challenge and growth. Remind yourself that struggle isn’t a personal failing. It’s part of being human, and something everyone experiences in different ways. When you step back and see your difficulties as part of a shared journey, they often feel more manageable and less isolating.

7. Write yourself a note or letter that extends compassion to yourself. Draft it from the perspective of a friend, family member, or mentor who supports you enthusiastically, loves you unconditionally, and wants what’s best for you. Sometimes there’s great power in putting things down on paper.

8. Practice mindfulness, perhaps by engaging in loving-kindness meditation. Instead of getting swept up in your thoughts or pushing your feelings away, simply notice what’s happening with a sense of openness and curiosity. Practices like loving-kindness help you slow down and intentionally direct warmth and goodwill toward yourself, especially in moments when you need it most.

9. Seek help via therapy, perhaps including compassion-focused therapy (CFT). A skilled therapist can help you recognize patterns of harsh self-criticism and guide you toward healthier, more compassionate ways of relating to yourself. You don’t have to figure it out alone. Having structured support can make it easier to turn insight into lasting change.

10. Engage in prayer. When you’re facing adversity or difficult feelings, appeal to a higher spirit or something larger than yourself. In doing so, you can find a sense of comfort, perspective, and connection that reminds you that you’re not carrying it all on your own.

 

Conclusion

In the end, self-compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s fuel for better living. It can help make you a better leader, parent, friend, and human being.

Self-compassion steadies you when you stumble and keeps you moving forward without the drag of self-judgment. When you learn to treat yourself with the same understanding and care you offer others, you don’t lower your standards; you raise your capacity to meet them.

Don’t expect instant results. It may take time and effort for you to develop this capacity, especially if you have a history of being hard on yourself.

The next time you struggle, pause, soften, and choose a different response. That small shift can change not just how you feel, but how you live.

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles, Books, & Other Resources

Postscript: Inspirations on Self-Compassion

  • “When we carry our pain with the kindness of acceptance instead of the bitterness of resistance, our hearts become an edgeless sea of compassion. We… become the compassionate presence that can hold, with tenderness, the rising and passing waves of suffering.” -Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
  • “When we’re kind to ourselves, we create a reservoir of compassion that we can extend to others.” – Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
  • “A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” -Christopher K. Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions
  • “…this revolutionary act of treating ourselves tenderly can begin to undo the aversive messages of a lifetime.” -Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
  • “To cultivate the tenderness of compassion, we not only stop running from suffering, we deliberately bring our attention to it…. as we feel suffering and relate to it with care rather than resistance, we awaken the heart of compassion.” -Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
  • “All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-disgust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of love you bear for your self, all I plead with you is this: make love of your self perfect.” -Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
  • “Self-compassion is like a muscle. The more we practice flexing it, especially when life doesn’t go exactly according to plan (a frequent scenario for most of us), the stronger and more resilient our compassion muscle becomes.” -Sharon Salzberg, author and teacher of Buddhist meditation practice
  • “Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.” -Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
  • “Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.” -Tara Mohr, author
  • “When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be toward others.” –Eda LeShan
  • “What is happening in your innermost self is worthy of your entire love; somehow you must find a way to work at it.” -Rainer Maria Rilke, Austrian poet
  • “How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a wholehearted life: loving ourselves.” -Brené Brown, researcher and author
  • “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” -Jack Kornfield, psychologist and Buddhist monk and teacher
  • “The way you treat your own heart is the way you will end up treating everyone else’s.” -John Eldridge, author and counselor
  • “Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.” -Pema Chödrön, nun and Tibetan Buddhist
  • “If you are unkind to yourself, you will be unkind to others. And if you are negligent of yourself, you will be that to others. Only by feeling compassion for yourself can you feel compassion for others. If you cannot love yourself you cannot love others, and you cannot stand to see others loved. If you cannot treat your own self kindly, you will resent that treatment when you see it in anyone else. If you cannot love yourself, loving others becomes a very painful endeavor with only occasional moments of comfort.” -Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul
  • “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones..” -Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)
“Study after study shows that self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control…. In contrast, self-compassion–being supportive and kind to yourself, especially in the face of stress and failure–is associated with more motivation and better self-control.” -Kelly McGonigal, The Willpower Instinct

(1) When practicing self-compassion, you may experience what’s called “backdraft,” in which your pain increases at first, since you’re letting it in, much like when a fire in a closed space suddenly explodes because fresh air rushes in and ignites built-up gases all at once. But it’s temporary and clears the space for healing.

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

Sign Up Now

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Digital Overload: A SAD Way to Live

by

What a SAD way to live: letting the digital overload of Screens, Algorithms, and Devices take over so much of our lives. If you spend an average of just two hours a day on your device—a conservative estimate for most—you will have given up a staggering 10 years of your waking life to screens by the time you reach age 80. Many people spend double that. That’s 20 years. (1)

Yes, our devices are amazing, but are they worth giving up so much of our time on the planet?

Clearly, there are tradeoffs. Technology is great because you can text your spouse about the grocery list, connect with friends, and buy things at the click of a button. But what about binge-watching, doom-scrolling, validation seeking, comparison scrolling, Pavlovian notification checking, clickbait chasing, impulse buying, and rabbit-hole falling? How much time have you spent on those?

“Some days, we just need to turn the quiet up.”
-Dr. SunWolf, Professor, Santa Clara University

And how dependent are you on your phone? These days, there’s even a term for it: “nomophobia” (when you fear being detached from mobile phone connectivity, i.e., “NO MObile PHone PhoBIA”).

Think about how you feel when you’ve been on your device for a while. Frazzled. Dull. Lifeless. Mopey. Exhausted. In a nutshell, probably worse.

 

The Value of Screens and Devices

You can of course derive great value from technology and devices. You might use educational apps to learn a new language. Take online courses to advance your career. Attend virtual meetings to save time. Use video calls to stay close with distant relatives. Use health apps to track wellness goals. All good.

But there are also many risks and downsides to using screens and devices so often.

 

The Downsides of Digital Overload with Screens and Devices

Mounting research connects heavy screen use with a host of potential harmful consequences, including:

  • addiction
  • increased anxiety and depression
  • reduced attention spans
  • reduced cognitive function
  • eye strain
  • trouble maintaining focus
  • exposure to disturbing or harmful content
  • reduced time outdoors
  • sedentary behavior
  • sleep disruption
  • social isolation

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

What About Algorithms?

As with screens and devices, so it goes with algorithms. An algorithm is essentially a set of invisible instructions that tells a computer what to do or show you next, based on your behavior (clicks, view time, etc.). When YouTube cues up a string of related videos after you watch one, that’s the algorithm at work.

The algorithm isn’t designed to serve your best interests. It’s designed to keep your eyes on the screen, because more time on the platform means more advertising revenue for them. In other words, they’re selling your attention to advertisers. They’re monitoring and monetizing you.

“Imagine walking into a control room with a bunch of people hunched over a desk with little dials, and that that control room will shape the thoughts and feelings of a billion people. This might sound like science fiction, but this actually exists right now, today…. Right now it’s as if all of our technology is basically only asking our lizard brain what’s the best way to impulsively get you to do the next tiniest thing with your time, instead of asking: in your life, what would be time well spent for you?” -Tristan Harris, Executive Director, Center for Humane Technology

 

The Benefits of Algorithms

Of course, there are many benefits that can come from algorithms. For example, you can use them to do (or help with) many things, including:

  • solving crimes
  • analyzing huge data sets (e.g., monitoring power grids for failures, detecting early signs of cancer in medical imaging)
  • automating boring or repetitive tasks
  • identifying students at risk of dropping out of school
  • developing vaccines

The possibilities are remarkable. But there are also dangers that are easy to miss.

 

The Insidious Effects of Algorithms on Our Lives

In his book, Against the Machine: On the Unmaking of Humanity, English writer Paul Kingsnorth notes that even the words we use to describe the tech we use every day (e.g., “the web,” “the net”) are revealing: “These are things designed to trap prey.” They trap us with the promise of dopamine hits from “likes” and the hope of finding that super-cute cat video.

Author Cathy O’Neil calls a certain class of algorithms “weapons of math destruction”:

“The math-powered applications powering the data economy were based on choices made by fallible human beings. Some of these choices were no doubt made with the best intentions. Nevertheless, many of these models encoded human prejudice, misunderstanding, and bias into the software systems that increasingly managed our lives. Like gods, these mathematical models were opaque, their workings invisible to all but the highest priests in their domain: mathematicians and computer scientists…. I came up with a name for these harmful kinds of models: Weapons of Math Destruction.” -Cathy O’Neil, Weapons of Math Destruction: How Big Data Increases Inequality and Threatens Democracy

Here are some ways that algorithms can be harmful:

  • amplification of bias and discrimination (e.g., in criminal sentencing, hiring/screening job candidates, housing/renting, insurance rates, loan applications, university admissions)
  • manipulation of consumers and voters (e.g., giving people only information that supports their preferences or preconceptions, or taking people down “rabbit holes” with conspiracy theories)
  • spreading of misinformation and false narratives
  • intensification of polarization
  • erosion of privacy
  • distortion of your self-image (e.g., body shape) (2)

Another issue with algorithms is that they’re often mysterious. Sometimes even their programmers don’t fully understand them.

Though they’re very effective at many things, algorithms often miss the nuances associated with complex endeavors, leading to unforeseen consequences. Consider when they’re involved with decisions about teaching students or caring for sick patients.

What’s more, the errors associated with (or caused by) algorithms are often magnified due to the scale that technology facilitates. According to journalist and author Hilke Schellmann, “One biased human hiring manager can harm a lot of people in a year, and that’s not great. But an algorithm that is maybe used in all incoming applications at a large company… that could harm hundreds of thousands of applicants.”

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

What to Do About Digital Overload

What does this mean for you? How can you derive the benefits of technology without succumbing to digital overload? Here are five things you can do to reduce the damage caused by excessive use of screens, algorithms, and devices:

1. Set boundaries around your device use. Example: no screens for the first and last hour of each day. This would give you time to ease into your morning with coffee and a book instead of emails, and wind down at night without the blue light and mental stimulation that can interfere with sleep. Also, track your average daily device time and take action when it’s ballooning. (3)

2. Create screen-free zones in your home. Example: keep devices out of the bedroom so it remains a space for rest and connection. Establish a no-phones-at-the-table rule so meals become a time for talking instead of scrolling.

3. Calendarize offline activities. If screen time is preventing you from engaging in hobbies, reading, exercising, cooking, meditating, or spending time outdoors, develop a system to help turn the tide. Example: block out an evening each week for your hobby. Take a short walk after lunch every day. Set aside Saturday mornings for reading with your coffee.

There are two keys to this approach. The first is to develop habits and routines that make it easier to do things you enjoy instead of defaulting to passive digital consumption. The second is to get outside much more. Journalist and author Richard Louv laments what he calls “nature deficit-disorder,” which he defines as “a diminished ability to find meaning in the life that surrounds us.” He explains that it’s not a medical diagnosis; rather, it’s a simple way to describe the growing gap between us and nature.

“There’s no WiFi in the forest, but you’ll find a better connection.”
-author unknown

4. Turn off notifications. Frequent pings and buzzes fragment your attention and create unnecessary urgency around trivial things. Action: disable all notifications except calls and texts from your “favorites” list, so you’re not interrupted by every new email or social media like while you’re working on a project or having dinner with friends. (And just because you see a notification doesn’t mean you need to address it now.)

5. Create a digital detox routine. Example: designate every Sunday as a screen-free day to recharge and reconnect with loved ones and the natural world.

 

Conclusion: Defeating Digital Overload

Sometimes our use of technology masks deeper issues. Are you using tech to avoid problems at home or to numb your pain? Do you resort to screens and devices instead of developing a rich inner life?

It’s now painfully clear that even though we’re deriving great value from these products, we’re also paying dearly for them in terms of our precious time, wellbeing, and sanity.

How about you? Is it time to take your life back from the “SAD three” (Screens, Algorithms, Devices) so you can spend more time living, breathing, connecting, serving, loving, and thriving? I suspect you know the answer. The key is keeping your focus on what really matters—and counting the cost of trading it away for the digital abyss.

Here’s to living well and deploying our devices to serve our own needs and not vice versa.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Quotations on Digital Overload and Technology

  • “Passive screen time is like eating sugar but for your brain. It ‘tastes’ good, and you want it now, but you’re not actually feeding yourself. You’re not giving your brain any nutrition.” -Maris Loeffler, family and marriage therapist
  • “…carving out time to turn off your devices, to disconnect from the wired world and engage with the real people who are all around you, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and the people you love.” -Alan Brown, entrepreneur
  • “…we are not slaves to these devices unless we allow ourselves to become so. To me, the trick is to put yourself in charge of your screens instead of allowing your screens to be in charge of you.” -Dr. Edward Hallowell, M.D., child and adult psychiatrist
  • “Unlike television, nature does not steal time; it amplifies it. Nature offers healing for a child living in a destructive family or neighborhood.” -Richard Louv, Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder
  • “In today’s mesmerizing digital landscape, our attention is madly sought after. Algorithms are ingeniously designed to keep us hooked like addicts by feeding us mainlines tailored to hold us captive…” -Sol Luckman, Get Out of Here Alive
  • “Welcome to the age of AI, where algorithms grow bigger, and minds get smaller.” -Abhijit Naskar, The Humanitarian Dictator
  • “A new normal is establishing itself in which an undeclared or invisible war is fought entirely through algorithms, narratives, and manipulated media.” -Roger Spitz, The Definitive Guide to Thriving on Disruption: Volume I
  • “The screen is both our main source of distraction from reality and the interface by which we are directed into the coming post-human reality of the Machine…. What comes through these screens bleeds out any connection with the divine, with nature or with the fullness of humanity.… human culture is in the process of being consumed by the Machine. Something organic is being superseded by something planned; something natural by something technological. This is the anticulture of the Machine, and it supersedes and replaces the values on which older societies the world over are based.” -Paul Kingsnorth, Against the Machine: On the Unmaking of Humanity

 

References

(1) This calculation assumes an average of 16 waking hours per day (accounting for 8 hours of sleep). While most people do not begin significant device usage in their childhood years, this figure accounts for that by being conservative in terms of average daily usage.

(2) “For many girls, this rewiring of their self-image, this pressure to alter their appearance, happened without them realizing it. It was gradual. Subtle. Drip-fed.” -Freya India, author

(3) This is especially important for children, According to the National Institutes of Health, “Health experts say screen time at home should be limited to two hours or less a day.” Potential harm from digital overload to children includes negative academic, behavioral, physical/mental health, and social effects.

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

Sign Up Now

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The 7 Most Common Career Regrets (And What They Tell Us)

by

Got career regrets? Talk to almost any experienced professional and you’ll hear some version of a career regret. It can be staying too long in a bad situation. Or playing it too safe. Ignoring an inner nudge to change. Making choices for the wrong reasons. Getting lost in work. Roads not taken. Years spent pursuing someone else’s definition of success.

According to a survey of 1,000 workers in the U.S., U.K., France, and Germany:

  • 66% of workers have work-related regrets.
  • “Half of people regret being in their chosen career.” (O’Neill, 2025)

Here are the seven most common career regrets, according to the research:

 

Regret: Choosing a career based only on financial considerations and neglecting other important factors, like purpose, passion(s), flexibility, and autonomy. (Gulati, 2012; Pillemer, 2012)

Daniel Gulati interviewed 30 professionals ranging from age 28 to 58, asking each person about their biggest career regret so far. He writes, “By far the biggest regret of all came from those who opted into high-paying but ultimately dissatisfying careers.” (Gulati, 2012)

Dr. Karl Pillemer conducted a research project over decades that involved responses from more than 1,200 elders (age 65 and older, but most in their 70s and 80s), asking them about the important lessons they’re like to pass on to younger people. A key finding:

“…the elders believe that the biggest career mistake people make is selecting a profession based only on potential earnings. A sense of purpose and passion for one’s work beats a bigger paycheck any day.” (Pillemer, 2012)

 

Regret: Choosing a career based on what others think you should do (i.e., the influence of parents, teachers, classmates, society) instead of what you want to do. (Tieger et al., 2013)

The pressures are real. Especially when you’re young and still learning about yourself and not yet clear on all the options—or how to choose.

  • “One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” -Shannon L. Alder, author
  • “…occupational regret is lived out on a daily basis as individuals labor in occupations they wish they had never entered.” -Wrzesniewski, A., Tosti, J., and Landman, J. (Yale, 2006)

 

Regret: Spending too much time in job that makes you unhappy, without looking for a new job. (Pillemer, 2012)

Many people are stuck in frustrating work situations. A bad boss. A toxic culture. Too much office politics. Academic researchers talk about “career inaction,” “stagnaters,” and “dysfunctional staying.” According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, more people regret staying at a job too long (58%), as opposed to quitting a job (38%).

  • “I wish I’d not spent so many years in an average job. Life is over so quickly.” -Pearl, an Australian retiree, as told to Bronnie Ware in The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
  • “Almost uniformly, those who had actually quit their jobs to pursue their passions wished they had done so earlier.” (Gulati, 2012)
  • “A big part of me looks back and thinks, ‘you know, you’ve been doing this since you were… twenty-five—you’re now nearly forty.’ And I’m thinking ‘that whole time you’ve had periods of regret, so maybe it’s not for you.’” -teacher, cited in Budjanovcanin, A., & Woodrow, C. (2022)

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Regret: Getting so caught up in your career that you neglect other important aspects of your life, like health, family, and friendships. (O’Neill, 2025; Ware, 2019)

According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, 59% of workers regret not prioritizing work-life balance in their career. (O’Neill, 2025)

“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard…. What a stupid fool I was. I worked too damn hard and now I am a lonely, dying man. The worst part is that I have been lonely for the whole of my retirement and I need not have been…. There is nothing wrong with loving your work and wanting to apply yourself to it, but there is so much more to life.” -John, retired Australian businessman, as told to Bronnie Ware in The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

 

Regret: Not developing the confidence to change your career or start your own business. (Gulati, 2012; O’Neill, 2025; Pink, 2022)

Often, people feel a pull or have a hunch, but then they let their doubts seep in or they keep putting it off.* According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, 44% of workers regret not making a career change. (O’Neill, 2025)

  • “One of the most robust findings, in the academic research and my own, is that over time we are much more likely to regret the chances we didn’t take than the chances we did…. What haunts us is the inaction itself…. One especially common boldness regret was not starting a business of one’s own.” (Pink, 2022)
  • “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” -Sydney J. Harris, journalist and author
  • (I regret) “not leaving my safe job to follow my instinct and stay true to my core values sooner.” -Pennsylvania man, age 56 (Pink, 2022)
Source: Dan Pink, The Power of Regret (New York: Riverhead Books, 2022).

 

Regret: Thinking you have plenty of time, when in reality things go by astonishingly quickly. (Pillemer, 2012)

“Time is of the essence: Live as though life is short—because it is. The point is not to be depressed by this knowledge but to act on it, making sure to do important things now. The older the respondent, the more likely they were to say that life goes by astonishingly quickly. Said one elder: ‘I wish I’d learned that in my thirties instead of in my sixties!’” -Karl Pillemer, “Top 10 Lessons for Living from the Wisest Americans”

 

Regret: Not taking advantage of opportunities that come along. (Gulati, 2012; Pillemer, 2012)

Maybe it was the lateral move to a different department you turned down because it felt risky. The speaking invitation you declined out of imposter syndrome. Or the chance to lead a high-visibility project you passed on because you didn’t feel ready yet.

“I regret not having the courage to be more bold earlier in my career and caring too much what other people thought of me.” -South-African woman, age 33 (Pink, 2022)

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

More Career Regrets

The above regrets are the most common ones, according to the research. But there are other important regrets as well. For example:

  • Not asking for a raise or promotion. According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, 60% of workers regret not asking for a pay increase, 51% regret not asking for a promotion, and 58% regret not negotiating their salary when they first took a job. (O’Neill, 2025)
  • Not building a professional network sooner.
  • Not investing in professional development and continuous learning.
  • Not speaking up or advocating for yourself (e.g., not sharing your accomplishments, needs, concerns, or ideas, which can lead to getting overlooked for promotions or opportunities).
  • Going it alone and not seeking mentorship or guidance.
  • Staying too long with one employer and forgoing chances to accelerate growth by moving to another organization(s).

 

The Challenges of Career Crafting

This research on the most common career regrets may sound straightforward, but let’s be honest: these matters of career crafting and change are far from easy in many cases.

You may be consumed by personal and professional obligations, making it hard to step out of the grind and work on change. The “switching costs” of career change can be high. Your identity can be wrapped up in your current work or profession.

Perhaps you’re risk-averse by nature. You can get trapped by “analysis paralysis.” Do you think it’s too late to make a change now? You may feel overloaded by options and not clear on what to do next. Or you may lack confidence to make desired changes.

All understandable. But keep in mind that work takes up such a big part of your life. Isn’t it worth crafting your life and work intentionally—and avoiding as many of these career regrets as you can?

This research on the most common career regrets can be catalytic, but only if you pay attention to it and heed its warnings. Is the regret about a mistake you’ve made, or really about something you haven’t lived into? Yet.

Sure, these career regrets can be ominous. But they can also become a blueprint for your next breakthrough.

Wishing you well with it. Let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Career Regrets

  • “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Sarah Frances Brown (often misattributed to Mark Twain)
  • “Ten years from now, what will you regret never having tried?” -Alan Webber, Rules of Thumb
  • “…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are

 

References

-Daniel Gulati, “The Top Five Career Regrets,” Harvard Business Review, December 14, 2012.

-Heather O’Neill, “Resume Now’s International Survey Finds 66% of Workers Suffer From Career Regrets,” ResumeNow.com, January 8, 2025. Another data point: When more than 29,000 people were asked this in a survey–“If you could do it all over again, would you choose the same career you’re in now?”–59 percent said no. Source: “Job Happiness Poll: Most Americans Wish They Could Hit Reset Button on Their Careers,” Parade, August 31, 2012, citing the Parade/Yahoo! Finance Job Happiness Survey.

-Karl Pillemer, 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans (Avery, 2012). Dr. Pillemer is a gerontologist and professor at Cornell University who studies aging and conducts research on older adults’ life experiences and wisdom.

-Dan Pink, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Makes Us Move Forward (Riverhead Books, 2022). For this book, author Dan Pink surveyed 4,489 Americans across ages, races, genders, and socioeconomic levels. He also launched a companion website that collected open-ended regrets from more than 15,000 people in 105 countries. Pink found that nearly all regrets fall into four categories:

  1. foundation regrets: wishing you had made better decisions early on that would have set you up for success later, like saving money, staying in school, or taking care of your health.
  2. boldness regrets: wishing you had taken a chance or spoken up when you had the opportunity, instead of playing it safe out of fear.
  3. moral regrets: wishing you had done the right thing in a moment when you chose the easier, selfish, or dishonest path instead.
  4. connection regrets: wishing you had reached out to maintain or repair a relationship that drifted apart or ended, leaving things unsaid or unresolved.

-Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You through the Secrets of Personality Type (Little, Brown and Company, 2013).

-Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Hay House, 2019). Bronnie Ware is an Australian palliative care nurse who documented the common regrets expressed by patients in their final weeks of life, which she compiled into this book.

* To help avoid these kinds of regrets, Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, recommends the following: When facing a major decision, imagine yourself at age 80 looking back on your life and ask which choice would give you fewer regrets.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How to Do an Annual Life Review: 7 Questions

by

Article Summary: 

Most people don’t do an annual life review. Many don’t know where to begin. Here we guide you through 7 straightforward but powerful questions that will help you take stock and plan for the year ahead—a powerful self-leadership practice.

+++

Most people do annual performance reviews at work, but very few people do an annual life review. That’s odd. Why not check in on how things are going in your life?

With an annual life review, you can gain clarity about how things are really going in your life, seeing the big picture more clearly. You can spot patterns—even subtle, hidden ones—that reveal what’s helping you thrive and what’s holding you back.

Most importantly, doing a life review sets you up for action and momentum so you can start the new year with focus and intention.

 

7 Questions to Ask in Your Annual Life Review

One reason many people don’t do an annual life review is that they don’t know how. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

In fact, it can be as simple as asking yourself the following seven questions and writing down the answers.*

 

1. Highlights: What were the highlights of this past year?

Look back across your year and document the moments, relationships, and accomplishments that mattered most—the high points. By revisiting your calendar and/or photos, you’ll rediscover forgotten highlights.

 

2. Challenges: What were the top challenges from this past year?

Next, document the challenges you faced and where you fell short of what you had hoped for. Naming them can be cathartic. And reminding yourself of what you endured can be powerful evidence of your tenacity and resilience.

 

3. Habits: Which habits are helping me thrive, and which are holding me back?

Reflect on your habits and daily routines—both the ones that lift you up and the ones that hold you back. Doing so helps you decide what to keep, adjust, or let go of as you move forward.

 

4. Aspirations: What are my top aspirations for next year?

Next, note your hopes and dreams for the year ahead across all areas of life—from health and relationships to work, learning, and personal growth. Focus on what matters most to you and consider what would make the next year fulfilling and fun.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

5. Gratitude: What am I most grateful for from this year?

Now, focus on the people, moments, and experiences you’re most grateful for—including those that brought you the most joy. Take time to celebrate and savor the positives in your life.

 

6. Take-Aways: What are my top take-aways from this review process?

Finally, step back and look for patterns. Notice what drove your highs and lows, the lessons  learned, and the insights that can make next year even better.

 

7. Top Focus: What will be my top focus for the coming year?

Determine your top focus for the year ahead—the one area that, if prioritized, could make the biggest difference in your life. Focusing here gives you clarity, direction, and a guiding star for your actions. (It can also help you decide what you should stop doing or politely decline.)

 

That’s it. Seven powerful questions to take stock and set you up for success in the new year. See below for my Annual Life Review Template.

 

Annual Life Review Template

 

Annual Life Review

Reflect on the past year and clarify what matters most for the year ahead.

1. Highlights

What stood out as the best moments or wins from this past year?

2. Challenges

What were the most significant obstacles or difficulties I faced?

3. Habits

Which habits supported my growth, and which ones limited it?

4. Aspirations

What do I most want to create, pursue, or become in the year ahead?

5. Gratitude

What am I deeply grateful for from this past year and what brought me joy?

6. Key Takeaways

What insights or lessons emerged from this reflection?

7. Primary Focus

What single focus will matter most in the coming year?

 

Conclusion: How to Do an Annual Life Review

As you go through this process, give yourself grace. Don’t expect a perfect year. That’s a fool’s errand.

Instead, focus on honoring your real year—messiness and frustrations included. Approach the process with curiosity and self-compassion. And with thanks and wonder. Let insight replace self-criticism. Guard your heart and have faith.

Pro Tip: This process is helpful when done alone but much richer when you do it with others. Share your annual life review with someone you trust. Even better, exchange reviews and discuss them together. Doing so can deepen your connection. Together you can brainstorm creative new ideas, provide encouragement, and hold each other accountable for your chosen commitments.

In the end, doing an annual life can bring more clarity and insight to your life. A renewed sense of agency. And determination to keep learning and growing. It lays the groundwork for action and momentum, helping you enter the new year ready to thrive.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles

 

Appendix: Additional Life Review Questions (Extra Credit)

For most people, answering the seven questions above will be enough. But if you want to go deeper, here are eight more targeted questions you can ask to turbocharge your annual life review:

1. Quality of Life: In what areas is my quality of life high, and which ones need work? (Resource: Quality of Life Assessment.)

2. Traps of Living: What are the top things that are inhibiting my happiness and fulfillment? (Resource: Traps Test.)

3. Purpose: To what extent am I living purposefully, and what more will I do? (Resource: “How to Discover Your Purpose.”)

4. Values: To what extent am I building my life around what’s important to me and upholding my deeply held beliefs, and what more will I do? (Resource: Personal Values Exercise.)

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

5. Vision: To what extent am I working toward my vision of the good life (a bold and vivid picture of my desired future), and what more will I do? (Resource: “How to Craft a Vision of the Good Life.”)

6. Strengths: To what extent am I using my core strengths (the things at which I most excel) in my life, and what more will I do? (Resource: Strengths Search.)

7. Passions: To what extent am I building my passions (the things that consume me with palpable emotion over time) into my life, and what more will I do? (Resource: Passion Probe.)

8. Goals: To what extent am I clear about the desired results I’d like to achieve and organizing my life and time accordingly? What more will I do on this front? (Resource: Goals Guide: Best Practices in Setting and Pursuing Goals.)

 

Postscript: Inspirations on How to Do an Annual Life Review

  • (Doing a personal annual review) “will be your highest leverage activity all year long.” -Matthias Frank, writer
  • “The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates
  • “When you review your year as a whole, seemingly unrelated parts of your life come into focus at once, enabling you to connect the dots.” -Fadeka Adegbuyi, writer
  • “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” –Margaret J. Wheatley, writer and teacher
  • “There is one art of which people should be masters—the art of reflection.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge, English poet, philosopher, and theologian
  • “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” -Peter Drucker, consultant and author

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

* It’s important to write down your answers for several reasons. For example, it gives you a record to review. You can compare years and assess progress. Also, it’s easier to track your progress and hold yourself accountable when you have a written starting point.

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How to Be More Present with People

by

Article Summary: 

These days, it’s getting harder and harder to be fully present with the people around us. Learn what presence is, why it matters, the barriers to it, and how to practice it.

+++

Do your days feel frenzied, frenetic, and frantic instead of peaceful and purposeful? With packed schedules, endless to-do lists, and all the demands of modern life, you may find it hard to be fully present with the people around you.

What people really want from you when they’re with you is your presence—your full and undivided attention. Signs of focus and care.

When they get it, it’s powerful, in part because the experience of receiving full attention from someone is so rare these days.

 

What Is Presence?

What does it mean to be present with someone? Presence means being deeply tuned in to the person you’re with. You’re aware of the moment you’re in and what’s going on with you emotionally. It entails:

  • being mentally, emotionally, and physically engaged (not distracted or preoccupied)
  • listening intently (and without thinking about how you’ll respond)

Being present requires mindful attention. For starters, that means putting down the phone. But it also means silencing your inner chatter about your task list or what’s bothering you. It’s all about focusing on the now.

“Presence is not some exotic state that we need to search for or manufacture. In the simplest terms, it is the felt sense of wakefulness, openness, and tenderness that arises when we are fully here and now with our experience.”
-Tara Brach

 

The Benefits of Presence

What are the benefits of presence? When you’re actually present with people, it:

  • shows respect and care
  • creates a climate of safety
  • helps them feel seen, valued, and understood
  • offers emotional relief to people who feel overwhelmed or unseen
  • helps move interactions from surface-level interaction to genuine connection
  • builds trust
  • improves communication
  • strengthens relationships
  • deepens intimacy*
  • makes gatherings more meaningful and memorable
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence.
How can you love if you are not there?”
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Presence also has positive effects on its giver, not just the recipient. Being present can be an antidote to anxiety. It can enhance your joy and heighten your appreciation of people and things.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

What Prevents You from Being Fully Present?

Why is being fully present with people so freakin’ hard? There are many barriers to presence, including:

  • our daily deluge of digital distractions
  • emotional overwhelm
  • unprocessed stress
  • unresolved worries
  • incessant cognitive chatter
  • reflexive multitasking

Part of the problem is our overly rushed culture. Are you afraid of slowing down and falling behind or missing out on things? And does that keep you bouncing from one thing to another? Is your use of technology and devices sapping your ability to get and remain present and focused?

“In the 21st century, being fully in the present moment is becoming something of a Herculean feat, and we live in a state of near-constant distraction.” -Charlie Huntington, “Presence: Meaning, Benefits, & Theory,” Berkeley Well-Being Institute

 

How to Be More Present with People: Stop Phoning It In

Here are eight ways you can be more present with people:

  1. Recall how awful it feels when people are distracted and not paying attention to you.
  2. Put your phone away. (Seriously, if it’s nearby, it will pull you into its virtual vortex.)
  3. Pause and breathe before starting a conversation.
  4. Maintain eye contact.
  5. Pay attention to details like the person’s tone and body language.
  6. Notice when your attention starts wandering and bring it back to the person in front of you.
  7. Acknowledge their key points and feelings.
  8. Ask follow-up questions (e.g., “say more about that…”).

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Conclusion: A Call to Presence

Presence is becoming harder and rarer in this age of attention hijacking. The algorithms are shrewd. Swiping, doom scrolling, and binge watching don’t lend themselves to deep presence with people.

Being fully present with the people you’re with helps you create more meaningful moments with them. And of course, it costs nothing but time and attention.

Why not show up fully for the people around you? Give them the gift of your time and undivided attention. You’ll both be glad you did.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on How to Be More Present with People

  • “Life is available only in the present moment.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
  • “As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love—even the most simple action.” -Eckhart Tolle
  • “We convince by our presence.” -Walt Whitman

* Presence can also help facilitate intimacy and a higher quality sexual connection with your partner. Source: Silverstein, R. G., Brown, A. C. H., Roth, H. D., & Britton, W. B. (2011). Effects of mindfulness training on body awareness to sexual stimuli: implications for female sexual dysfunction. Psychosomatic Medicine, 73(9), 817–825.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How to Use Anticipation to Boost Your Happiness

by

Article Summary: 

Even if your days are heavy with stress, pressure, and uncertainty, the magic of anticipation can lift your spirits as you look ahead toward something exciting.

+++

Legendary NFL quarterback Tom Brady won seven Super Bowl titles, five Super Bowl MVP awards, and three league MVP awards. Along the way, he set the records for career passing yards, touchdown passes, and quarterback wins. When somebody asked him which Super Bowl ring was his favorite, he replied:

“The next one.”

Brady was channeling the power of anticipation—looking forward to future experiences or events that bring you excitement and joy. In Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen wrote about “that sanguine expectation of happiness which is happiness itself.”

You’ve probably basked in the sweet glow of anticipation, but you may not realize just how important it is to your health and wellbeing.

 

Sweet Anticipation

Many of my sweetest childhood memories are animated by anticipation:

Christmas morning
Birthday parties
Amusement parks
Friday night pizza after soccer practice
Sleepovers
Halloween
Beach outings
Bedtime stories

Now that I’m older, my anticipation targets have changed, but they still fill me with energy and excitement.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

How Anticipation Boosts Happiness

It turns out that there are many benefits of anticipation. For example, it can:

  • improve your mood, happiness, quality of life, and mental health
  • boost your job satisfaction (by shifting your focus from challenges and stressors to sought-after achievements and rewards)
  • prevent or reduce burnout
  • help you build your perseverance and resilience
“Anticipating fun times and enjoyable experiences is great for our mental health. It lifts our spirits and our mood. It also motivates us to persevere through challenges.” -Kelly Nardella, psychologist

How does this work? According to researchers, when you’re anticipating something, the reward centers in your brain activate, and these play an important role in your motivation and wellbeing.

The simple act of anticipating something enjoyable prompts your brain to release mood-enhancing chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Anticipation can also amplify the enjoyment of the reward when it finally arrives.

According to researchers, the anticipation effect is so strong that looking forward to a positive event can boost your wellbeing even more than remembering one that already happened. One study found that positive anticipation can boost your mood even when you’re facing something stressful. For example, planning a fun night out after a pressure-filled workday can significantly alter your outlook for that day.

The effects even show up physiologically. In a 2018 study, participants were asked to anticipate a positive event while in a functional MRI machine. The brain scans revealed that this anticipation triggered the release of dopamine—a neurotransmitter tied to pleasure, satisfaction, and motivation.*

Looking forward to positive experiences can also strengthen your resilience, according to researchers. By thinking about future successes or joys, you can gain motivation and a sense of purpose. Anticipating positive events redirects your attention from today’s stress to tomorrow’s rewards.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Ways to Bring More Anticipation into Your Life

So what can you do with this? Here are things you can do to leverage the power of anticipation in your life and work:

1. Take charge of your free time. If you don’t actively plan your free time, it can fizzle out in the busyness of daily life. Without deliberately setting up enjoyable and meaningful activities, you won’t have enough exciting experiences to look forward to, and you’ll miss out on the emotional boost that anticipation provides.

2. Plan fun activities. Set aside regular time for enjoyment and unwinding. Hobbies. Date nights. Excursions. Adventures. Time with family and friends. Having these experiences to look forward to can reduce work stress and facilitate an enjoyable and engaging life.

3. Make anticipation a daily habit. Each evening, reflect on or jot down at least one thing you’re looking forward to.

4. Align anticipation with your priorities. What are the things that light you up most? You’re more likely to value and cherish experiences and connections with others than possessions.

5. Invest in anticipation at home. If you’re in a relationship or have a family, make an effort to give your partner and/or family members fun things to look forward to.

6. Invest in anticipation at work. If you’re a manager or have a team that you work with, make an effort to give your colleagues fun things on their future docket.

7. Savor the experiences you’ve been anticipating. Savoring lets you deeply enjoy the experience once it arrives.

8. Be grateful for the experiences you’ve had. By being thankful for an experience you’ve been anticipating, you extend its emotional benefits and reinforce your positive feelings.

 

Conclusion: Boost Your Happiness through Anticipation

These days, you probably have enough things that you dread, whether it’s boring meetings or other frustrating situations. Why not flip the script?

Anticipation is a simple but powerful tool for boosting your happiness. By planning exciting and meaningful activities and experiences to look forward to, you can create more uplifting moments. Do this and watch how it transforms not only your free time but your work, energy, and sense of fulfillment.

Anticipation can be a great way to brighten your days and lift the spirits of those around you. Here’s to bringing more fun experiences and events into our lives—and enjoying the sweet pull they have on us.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles

* “Using event-related functional magnetic resonance imaging, 40 participants were scanned while they were performing an emotion anticipation task, in which they were instructed to anticipate the positive or neutral events. The results showed that bilateral medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) were activated during anticipation for positive events relative to neutral events, and the enhanced brain activation in MPFC was associated with higher level of well-being.” -Luo Y, Chen X, Qi S, You X, Huang X. Well-being and Anticipation for Future Positive Events: Evidences from an fMRI Study. Front Psychol. 2018 Jan 9.

 

Postscript: Inspirations on How Anticipation Boosts Happiness

  • “The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.” -Andy Warhol
  • “Anticipation of pleasure is, in itself, a very considerable pleasure.” -David Hume
  • “The pleasure isn’t in doing the thing, the pleasure is in planning it.” -John Green, Paper Towns
  • “We need the sweet pain of anticipation to tell us we are really alive.” -Albert Camus
  • “‘Well,’ said Pooh, ‘what I like best,’ and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.” -A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
  • “Never forget that anticipation is an important part of life. Work’s important, family’s important, but without excitement, you have nothing. You’re cheating yourself if you refuse to enjoy what’s coming.” -Nicholas Sparks, Three Weeks with My Brother
  • “If you come at four in the afternoon, I’ll begin to be happy by three.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
  • “Plotting a trip is nearly as enjoyable as actually taking one. Merely thinking about a pleasurable experience is itself pleasurable. Anticipation is its own reward.” -Eric Weiner

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Career Tips for Young Professionals

by

The job market today? It’s tough. If you’re a young professional just starting out, or even a few years in, you know the feeling: the landscape is brutal and the competition is fierce.

Consider the following: The unemployment rate for new job market entrants—including recent college graduates and others just beginning their full-time careers—reached a nine-year high this year, according to federal data. Their share of the total unemployed population also climbed to its highest level in decades.

Meanwhile, the once-reliable path from college to career may be breaking down. For the first time in modern history, the bachelor’s degree is failing to deliver on its core promise of access to white-collar jobs, according to researchers at The Burning Glass Institute, a labor-focused research and data lab. Federal data shows that 20- to 24-year-olds with bachelor’s degrees now face the highest relative unemployment levels of any education group.*

U.S. Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell has pointed out that we’re in a “low-firing, low-hiring environment,” which makes it tough for young workers (and others) to break into the labor force. The result for many young workers is frustration and self-doubt. One observer has called it “Gen Z’s career apocalypse.”

Landing a great job in this environment can feel like an uphill battle. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to approach the beginning of your career.

But here’s the good news: there are great opportunities out there if you know how to approach things and differentiate yourself.

 

Career Tips for Young Professionals

Given this challenging context, here are 12 career tips for young professionals:

1. Know yourself deeply. That means knowing your personal values (what’s most important to you), your strengths (the things at which you most excel), your passions (the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time), and your purpose (why you’re here). This requires time for reflection. Knowing yourself well gives you a strong personal foundation—and safe harbor in the storms. That will help you stay true to your own guiding lights and not get caught up in chasing other people’s definitions of success.

“…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are

2. Focus on learning and growth. When considering job options (if you’re fortunate enough to have them), prioritize opportunities for learning and growth. Find out whether the organization offers valuable learning and development opportunities.

Adopt a “growth mindset” (not a fixed mindset), and look for organizations with a “learn-it-all” culture (not a “know-it-all” culture). Your ability to learn quickly and adapt will serve you well. Be curious, ask questions, and seek feedback (and get good at receiving and acting on it). Develop a consistent habit of lifelong learning.

“…prioritize continuous learning and skill development…. Investing in your ongoing learning not only boosts your current job performance but also positions you for future career opportunities, showcasing your commitment to personal and professional growth and enhancing your adaptability in a dynamic job market.” -Cole Amstutz, Vice President of Commercial Business Development, ServiceMaster by Rice

3. In this age of technology and A.I., double down on human skills. As technology handles more and more routine tasks, your professional value is increasingly tied to uniquely human traits. Things like critical thinking, emotional intelligence (EQ), empathetic communication, and team collaboration. Machines can do a lot, but there’s no substitute for the human factor. Ultimately, strengthening your EQ and problem-solving abilities will help you navigate nuanced client or group interactions, lead teams, and drive innovation.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

4. Explore and test your career options. If you haven’t yet found that powerful combination of what you like to do, what you’re good at, and what you can get paid for, you’re wise to remain in what I call “discover mode” and try things. Get exposure to different functional areas. Consider important variables like the size (small, medium, large) and stage (early-, middle-, late-) of the venture that suits you. Be open to career pivots. Very few careers these days are straight lines. Meanwhile, each role you take can teach you something valuable if you have a growth mindset.

“One of the things is putting pressure on having that perfect solution lined up. While we should dream big, sometimes we need to make smaller moves and small experiments to build confidence and gather data and grow more organically in a new direction. In reality, what works is getting anchored in existing strengths and experiences and have a general feeling of success. There is no real way to know the answers… of what to pursue next in our careers unless we’re running small tests and learning from them.” -Jenny Blake, author and podcaster

5. Find a wave and ride it. Venture capitalist Erik Straser wisely urges young workers to find a powerful market trend that will continue for decades and take advantage of it. (Examples: AI, automation, clean tech, smart infrastructure, aging populations, mental health, urbanization, upskilling and reskilling, multigenerational workforces, circular economy, etc.) What are current trends that pique your interest and that you’re well positioned to help advance (or could be)? Remember: you have a choice about which industry and sector you work in.

6. Focus on building “career capital.” In his excellent book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You, Georgetown University computer science professor Cal Newport emphasizes the importance of “career capital” (vocational assets that you can leverage). You build career capital by developing and using rare and valuable skills, not by chasing prestige or convenience, and adding value to your colleagues and organization via smart and hard work. Once you have enough of it, you can trade it for desirable things like autonomy, a flexible schedule, and meaningful work. It gives you freedom and leverage to shape your career and choose work that fits you well and that matters to you.

“(Career capital) is the key currency for the work you love.”
-Cal Newport

Have a high standard of performance and do excellent work consistently. And don’t wait for permission. Take initiative by volunteering for projects, suggesting improvements, and “leading from below.”

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

7. Look for a great boss. It can make all the difference in your work experience and in the opportunities you get (or don’t get) to contribute and advance. A strong manager provides guidance, challenges you to grow, and opens doors you might never reach on your own. Good leaders help you build skills and set a foundation for long-term success. Often, choosing who you work for is just as important as what you do.

8. Vet the organizations you’re focusing on. Interviews should be a two-way street. Yes, you need to demonstrate your value and give them compelling reasons to hire you. But you should also ask thoughtful, specific questions about their culture, training, and career paths during your interviews. Doing so shows you’ve done your homework and signals that you have high standards for where you invest your time and energy. (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

9. Engage in “discovery-driven networking.” In their book, The Innovator’s DNA, Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregersen, and Clayton Christensen distinguish between two types of networking. “Delivery-driven networking” (the standard type) focuses on accessing resources, selling products, and advancing caeers. It’s transactional and focused on getting what you want. “Discovery-driven networking,” by contrast, focuses on learning new things, obtaining new perspectives, and testing ideas in process. It’s more relational and reciprocal—and effective and enjoyable.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.”
-Keith Ferrazzi, Never Eat Alone

Your networking should be focused on building real connections, not trying to extract things from people. Seek out people who inspire you and listen deeply to their guidance. Also, make sure that your relationships are reciprocal. Be generous and help others, even when you’re young. If you take time to develop and maintain a strong network, it will be one of the greatest assets in your career.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

10. In a crowded job market, find ways to be a “purple cow.” Seth Godin’s “purple cow” is a metaphor for remarkable things that stand out so much they get noticed (like a purple cow in a field of ordinary cows). In a crowded market, being ordinary can make you invisible. Think of a hiring manager with way too much to do and a stack of fifty resumes and a full day of interviews. How can you be the person who stands out from the pack and makes the interview memorable, engaging, and fun?

11. Play the long game. When you’re young, it’s easy to get caught up in immediate concerns like starting pay or benefits. Yes, those are important—but still only pieces of the bigger picture. Focus on opportunities that help you grow, build valuable skills, and work on things that truly matter to you. (It helps to develop a vision of the good life, including clarity about what a good career looks like for you.) And make sure you’re not caught up in your own ego. Never stop asking yourself how you’ll serve and make a difference.

“Be patient, but don’t get complacent. Exercise some patience while putting in the work today that will get you closer to achieving your long-term goals. In a society that wants everything on demand, be willing to sacrifice some short-term gains in order to reach greater success in the long run.” -Nick Blyth, Senior Vice President, Holmes Murphy

12. Don’t neglect the fun factor! Enjoying what you do isn’t just a perk. It fuels your energy, creativity, and resilience. When your work engages and excites you, you’re more likely to grow, perform at your best, and stick with it long enough to build valuable skills and encounter exciting opportunities. A career you love makes your hard work worthwhile and also brings out the best of you in other settings.

 

Conclusion: Craft a Career You Love

There’s no doubt the job market today is challenging and competitive. It may feel hopeless sometimes. But you have agency.

You’re at the start of a career journey that will likely span several decades. You’ll be spending a huge portion of your life at work. Your career isn’t something that happens to you or something you should settle for or stumble into. It’s something you can choose and craft if you play it smart.

So, take responsibility, be intentional about your choices, and recognize that every move you make today can start setting you up for a better tomorrow. The market may be tough, but with clarity about who you are and what you want—and conviction about building a career you love—you can rise to the challenge.

Wishing you well with it, and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

Tools for You

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Career Tips for Young Professionals

  • “One of the best pieces of advice for young people is, Get to yourself quickly. If you know what you want to do, start doing it.” -David Brooks, The Second Mountain
  • “The deepest vocational question is not ‘What ought I to do with my life?’ It is the more elemental and demanding ‘Who am I? What is my nature?’” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “Big career decisions don’t come with a map, but all you need is a compass. In an unpredictable world, you can’t make a master plan. You can only gauge whether you’re on a meaningful path. The right next move is the one that brings you a step closer to living your core values.” -Adam Grant, professor
  • “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “Don’t obsess over finding your true calling. Instead, master rare and valuable skills. Once you build up the career capital that these skills generate, invest it wisely. Use it to acquire control over what you do and how you do it, and to identify and act on a life-changing mission.” -Cal Newport
  • “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey, educator and author
  • “Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.” -Warren Buffett, investor
  • “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”–Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “Align where you spend your time with what you care about the most. You’ll connect with like-minded leaders and feel the fulfillment of living out your purpose each day.” -Shannon Draayer, Director of Health and Well-being, WesleyLife
  • “Shadow Career is the term used to describe people who go on an alternative path from their true dream because they’ve given up on themselves.” -Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Be Your Future Self Now
  • “We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
  • “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.” -Victor Frankl, psychologist, author, and Holocaust survivor
  • “…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material, and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
  • “Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette, author
  • “Don’t be afraid or guilty to switch directions. You are not a failure for changing your mind on what you choose to do with your life. As someone who ended up finding a different career path, I initially struggled with this, but over time, I have taken comfort in realizing the ability to adapt and change is a skill.” -Dannie Patrick, Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines
  • “Networking isn’t just about collecting business cards; it’s about genuinely connecting with people, understanding their needs and finding ways to add value to their lives or businesses. Invest time in cultivating meaningful connections, both within and outside your industry. These relationships can open doors, provide valuable insights and even lead to unexpected opportunities down the road.” -Erin Knupp, Director of Business Development, Beal Derkenne Construction

* The Burning Glass Institute partly attributes the problem to the growing number of young Americans earning four-year degrees, outpacing demand for such workers—a gap unlikely to close soon. Also, the rise of artificial intelligence threatens entry-level knowledge jobs. A recent Stanford study found that U.S. workers ages 22 to 25 in AI-exposed roles have seen a 13% drop in employment since 2022.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How to Improve Your Financial Health

by

Article Summary: 

Many people struggle financially not only due to economic conditions and the job market but also because managing money can feel complex and overwhelming. They’re unsure of where to begin or what to do. Or they have money hang-ups and counterproductive mindsets that hold them back from achieving financial health. Here we give you the essentials of financial health, including steps you can take to build security, reduce stress, build wealth, and improve your quality of life.

+++

Financial health is about more than numbers and money. It’s a cornerstone of your overall quality of life. When your finances are in order, you have less stress. You gain the freedom to focus on what matters most—like your health, happiness, and relationships.

By understanding and managing your income, spending, debt, savings, and investments, you set the stage for both financial security and a life of your choosing.

 

10 Ways Your Financial Health Can Enrich Your Quality of Life

Having your finances in order can help:

  1. reduce your stress and anxiety
  2. give you more freedom and flexibility
  3. support your health
  4. boost your confidence
  5. take pressure off your relationships
  6. enable fun and meaningful activities and experiences
  7. build resilience against setbacks
  8. give you peace and comfort
  9. allow for generosity
  10. fund your dreams

“The highest form of wealth is the ability to wake up every morning and say, ‘I can do whatever I want today.’” -Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money

So, how to improve your financial health? We walk through it below.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

1. Financial Foundations: Managing Income and Expenses

Your financial foundations are about your income, spending, and budget. Think of them as the blocking and tackling of financial health.

 

Income

Here are top tips for approaching your income with an eye toward boosting your financial health:

  • Monetize your strengths. Identify what you do best and what you love doing and then find ways to turn your strengths and passions into income.
  • Increase your value. Continuously develop skills and expertise that make you more valuable in the marketplace.
  • Seek growth opportunities. Pursue new projects or roles that enhance your experience and earning potential.
  • Negotiate your worth. Ask for fair compensation that reflects your contributions and market value. And fight for it, if need be. Be prepared to walk.
  • Diversify your income streams. Build multiple sources of income—such as side ventures, consulting, or investments—to reduce risk and give you more flexibility. Ideally, this includes passive income.
“The key to becoming wealthy is the ability to convert earned income into passive income or portfolio income as quickly as possible…. The rich do not work for money. They know how to have money work hard for them. Ordinary earned income is money you work for, and passive and portfolio income is money working for you.”
-Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad

 

Spending

The average U.S. adult spends roughly $18,000 each year on non-essential items and services, according to a 2019 estimate. In a 2022 survey, 36% of Americans said their garage was so cluttered with stuff that they could no longer park their car inside.

Here are top tips for how to approach your spending:

  • Live below your means. Keep your expenses comfortably lower than your income to make room for saving and investing.
  • Spend intentionally. Align your spending with your values and priorities, not mindless habits or social pressure.
  • Distinguish needs from wants. Cover essentials first, then make mindful choices about discretionary spending. According to Jonathan Clements, “You’ll end up treasuring almost nothing you buy.”
  • Delay gratification. Pause before a major purchase and ask whether your future self would approve of that expenditure.
  • Track your spending. Awareness is power. Knowing where your money goes helps you make better decisions and stay in control.
“Spending money to show people how much money you have is the fastest way to have less money.”
-Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money

 

Budgeting

Here are top tips on budgeting:

  • Know your inflows and outflows. Track all your income and expenses to understand where your money is going. Use technology to help streamline this.
  • Set clear categories and limits. Allocate funds for essentials, savings, investments, and discretionary spending.
  • Plan for irregular expenses. Include annual or occasional costs (like taxes, insurance, or gifts) so they don’t derail your budget.
  • Adjust regularly. Review and tweak your budget regularly to reflect changes in income, priorities, or goals.
  • Use your budget as a tool. Treat it as a guide to make intentional choices and achieve your financial goals.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

2. Building Reserves and Financial Security

Building reserves and working on financial security is about providing stability and peace of mind through savings, insurance, management of debt, and smart planning.

 

Savings

Here are top tips for handling savings:

  • Pay yourself first. Treat saving as your first bill to pay each month, before covering other expenses. This ensures you consistently build financial security instead of relying on whatever money you may or may not have left over.
  • Set clear goals. Define short-, medium-, and long-term savings goals. Fun examples:
    • dream vacation fund
    • dream wardrobe refresh
    • “yes” fund (having money ready to say yes to spontaneous invites, last-minute trips, or new opportunities)
  • Automate savings. Use automatic transfers to make saving consistent and effortless.
  • Keep an emergency fund (of at least three to six months of living expenses). Prioritize liquidity for unexpected expenses to avoid going into debt.
  • Review and adjust. Regularly check progress and increase savings as your income grows or your goals change.
“Do not save what is left after spending: instead spend what is left after saving.”
-Warren Buffett

 

Financial Security

Here are key actions you can take to enhance your financial security:

  • Protect yourself with insurance. Health, disability, and life insurance (and perhaps umbrella insurance) safeguard against financial shocks.
  • Plan for retirement. Contribute to retirement accounts early and consistently. And check your progress regularly. (Many brokerage accounts give you a retirement readiness score.)
  • Plan for contingencies. Stuff happens. Think unexpected job loss (so common these days), major medical expenses, or urgent home or car repairs. Include backup income sources, legal safeguards, and estate planning.

 

Debt

By early 2025, 90% of Americans had debt and U.S. consumer debt had climbed to $18.2 trillion, with mortgage debt accounting for 70% of that, auto loans at 9%, student loans at 9%, and credit card debt at 7%.

Here are top tips for how to approach debt:

  • Avoid debt as much as possible. If you do need it, borrow strategically. Only take on debt that helps build assets or increases future earning potential, like a home mortgage. Don’t borrow for depreciating items (like cars, furniture, appliances, or jewelry) or lifestyle consumption. Borrow only what you can comfortably repay.
  • Prioritize paying off high-interest debt. Pay off credit cards and other high-interest loans first. They can make your debt grow rapidly and may cause it to spiral out of control quickly.
  • Keep debt manageable. Ensure monthly payments are affordable relative to your income.
  • Make and follow an aggressive repayment plan for debt you do have. Set clear goals and timelines for paying down your debt.
“…the single most dangerous obstacle to building wealth: debt…. Debt is a crisis that needs immediate attention. If you are currently in debt, paying it off is your top priority. Nothing else is more important.”
-JL Collins, The Simple Path to Wealth

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

3. Growth and Wealth-Building

Growth and wealth-building are about assets (things you own that can appreciate and build net worth, like your home or a rental property), investments (putting your money into things that can grow over time, like stocks, property, or other opportunities), and an intentional wealth-building strategy.

 

Assets and Investments

Here are top tips for how to approach assets and investing:

  • Start early and stay consistent. Starting to invest early is wildly powerful because of the remarkable phenomenon of compounding: your money not only earns returns, but those returns also earn returns over time. The longer your money stays invested, the more it can grow. Even small contributions made early can become much larger over decades. By contrast, starting later means you have to invest much more to reach the same goal. In short: time is your most important ally in growing wealth. Time in the market is magic, while trying to “time the market” is a fool’s errand. (Because markets are hard to predict and frequent trading incurs costs, consistent long-term investing almost always outperforms trying to time the market.)
  • Focus on long-term growth. Prioritize assets that appreciate over time rather than chasing short-term gains.
  • Diversify your portfolio.* Spread investments across asset classes, sectors, and geographies to reduce risk. Ways to diversify:
    • Spread your investments. Don’t put all your money into one asset, sector, or market.
    • Mix asset types. Combine stocks, bonds, real estate, and other investments to balance growth and stability.
    • Maintain geographic diversity. Investing globally can protect against localized economic or political shocks.
    • Balance risk and reward. Include both conservative and growth-oriented assets to align with your goals and tolerance. Play both offense and defense.
  • Understand what you own. Invest only in products, companies, or funds you understand and believe in.
  • Review and rebalance regularly. Periodically adjust your portfolio to maintain alignment with your goals and risk tolerance.
“…the biggest lie in personal finance is that you can be rich if you just cut your spending….
Actually, the only ‘secret’ that I know to get rich is to grow your income and invest in income-producing assets.”
-Nick Maggiulli, “The Biggest Lie in Personal Finance”
“Thirty years from now, you’ll wish you’d invested more in stocks.”
-Jonathan Clements

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

4. Financial Planning and Strategy

Done properly, financial planning and strategy involves creating an overarching roadmap that addresses income, spending, savings, risk, and wealth-building.

 

Financial Planning

Here are top tips for approaching financial planning:

  • Set clear financial goals. Define what you want to achieve in the short-, medium-, and long-term to guide your decisions.
  • Plan for the future. Include retirement, education, and major life events or goals in your financial roadmap.
  • Review and adjust regularly. Revisit your plan periodically to reflect changes in income, goals, or life circumstances.
Ask yourself: Am I on track to meet my financial goals and retirement needs?

 

Wealth-Building Strategy

A wealth-building strategy is a roadmap for growing your money, securing your financial future, and reaching your goals. Here are examples of things that could be part of your wealth-building strategy:

  • Increase income strategically.
  • Save and invest in diverse assets consistently.
  • Aggressively pay down debt and then avoid it.
  • Leverage appreciating assets, like real estate or investments, to grow net worth.
  • Take advantage of tax-advantaged accounts (e.g., retirement accounts).
  • Minimize investment fees and expenses (via low-cost funds and accounts).

 

Take Charge of Your Finances

Taking charge of your finances is essential. It gives you control, reduces stress, and creates freedom to pursue your goals. When you actively manage your money, you can make informed decisions rather than reacting to circumstances and facing nasty surprises.

For example, you can take charge by creating a budget, automating savings, aggressively paying down high-interest debt (or better yet, avoiding it in the first place), and investing consistently for the future. By taking deliberate steps, you can turn money from a source of anxiety into a tool that supports your wellbeing and dreams.

 

Put Your Finances in Perspective

Keep your finances in perspective. Money should support your life rather than dominate it. It’s a tool, not a measure of your worth or happiness. Letting financial concerns overwhelm you can take a toll on your relationships and wellbeing.

Be sure to prioritize experiences, relationships, and self-care. True wealth is a life that’s connected, meaningful, and joyful, not dollars in the bank.

 

 

Common Financial Traps

Many people unknowingly fall into common financial traps that can derail their financial health. Examples:

  • Avoiding your finances, because it’s complex or uncomfortable.
  • Blaming your financial challenges on external circumstances instead of taking full responsibility for them.
  • Comparing your finances to others and resenting people for what they have.
  • Postponing working on finances because you’re too busy.
  • Thinking it’s too complicated for you. (It’s not.)
  • Thinking it’s too late to become financially strong and then giving up on it.

 

 

Conclusion

Improving your financial health doesn’t have to be overwhelming or all-consuming. By intentionally managing your income, spending, debt, savings, and investments, you can build security, wealth, and freedom.

Small, consistent actions—like budgeting, automating savings, and diversifying investments—compound over time, giving you the security and space to live fully. When you align your financial habits with your values, you turn money into a tool that helps you craft a good life. Authentic alignment in personal finance allows you to channel your resources toward what matters most to you.

Is it easy? No. With high prices, a tough job market, and so much volatility, improving your finances can feel overwhelming. Give yourself grace. Get started with one or two steps. Then start habit stacking and see the momentum you build. And keep going!

Finally, don’t forget to be grateful for what you have—and not obsessed with or resentful of what you don’t have—and thankful to and mindful of all those who have helped you along the way, from parents and teachers to friends, coaches, and mentors. True wealth comes in many forms.

Wishing you all the best.
–Gregg

 

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles

 

Recommended Books & Magazines on Financial Health

  • John C. Bogle, The Little Book of Common Sense Investing
  • JL Collins, The Simple Path to Wealth
  • Rachel Cruze, Know Yourself, Know Your Money
  • Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, Your Money or Your Life
  • Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich
  • Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money
  • Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad
  • Mel Lindauer et al., The Bogleheads’ Guide to Investing
  • Paul Merriman and Richard Buck, We’re Talking Millions
  • Dave Ramsey, The Total Money Makeover
  • Grant Sabatier, Financial Freedom
  • Sahil Bloom, The 5 Types of Wealth
  • Eric Tyson, Investing for Dummies
  • Kiplinger (personal finance magazine)

 

Related Podcasts on Financial Health

 

*Appendix: Diversification Types for Your Investments

Here are examples of ways you can diversify your investments:

  • Across Asset Classes: stocks, bonds, real estate, and cash or cash equivalents (e.g., savings or money market funds).
  • Within Asset Classes:
    • Stocks: large-, mid-, and small-cap stocks across different sectors.
    • Bonds: a mix of government, municipal, and corporate bonds with varying maturities and risk levels.
  • Geographic Diversification: domestic stocks and investments from international and emerging markets.
  • Investment Vehicles: a mix of index funds, ETFs, and mutual funds instead of only buying individual stocks (these funds automatically spread risk).
  • Sector Diversification: avoid concentrating too heavily in one industry or theme; balance exposure among sectors like technology, healthcare, finance, consumer goods, and energy.
  • Alternative Investments: consider small allocations (if appropriate for your situation) to real estate investment trusts (REITs), commodities, or private assets.
  • Liquidity Balance: keep an adequate portion of assets in liquid investments (like cash or short-term bonds) for flexibility and emergencies, with the rest in longer-term growth assets.

 

Postscript: Inspirations on How to Improve Your Financial Health

  • “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” -Epictetus, Greek Stoic philosopher
  • “You must remember to love people and use things, rather than to love things and use people.” -Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
  • “Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.” -C.S. Lewis
  • “Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.” -Erich Fromm
  • “It is not life and wealth and power that enslave men, but the cleaving to life and wealth and power.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “Here’s the most fundamental finding of happiness economics: the factors that most determine our happiness are social, not material.” -Jonathan Rauch, The Happiness Curve
  • “If you aren’t willing to own a stock for ten years, don’t even think about owning it for ten minutes.” -Warren Buffett
  • “…the greatest reason for lack of financial success was because most people played it too safe. People are so afraid of losing that they lose.” -Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad
  • “You should like risk because it pays off over time. But you should be paranoid of ruinous risk.” -Morgan Housel, The Psychology of Money
  • “There are many things money can buy, but the most valuable of all is freedom. Freedom to do what you want and to work for whom you respect. Those who live paycheck to paycheck are slaves. Those who carry debt are slaves with even stouter shackles.” -JL Collins, The Simple Path to Wealth

Note: I can give you tips and encouragement, but I can’t make your investments magically grow. Investing is risky. I’m not a financial advisor, and this is general guidance, not investment advice. Handle your money wisely and maybe chat with a pro before hitting “buy.”

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!