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Rating Your Job: A Work Satisfaction Checkup

10/06/202509/29/2025 by Gregg Vanourek

Article Summary:

Many people spend a huge portion of their lives at work, yet often struggle with bad bosses, unsupportive workplaces, or jobs that leave them drained. This work satisfaction checkup helps you rate your job so you can identify needed changes. If you’re wondering ‘How do I rate my job?’ this checklist can help.

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You probably spend much of your life at work. The quality of your work life can deeply affect your mental health, growth, happiness, energy, sense of meaning, and overall life satisfaction.

“Hundreds of studies have shown that job satisfaction and life satisfaction are positively related, and causal:
liking your job causes you to be happier all around.”
-Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, Build the Life You Want:
The Art and Science of Getting Happier

Unfortunately, many people work for bad bosses or labor in lame workplaces. According to Gallup, employee engagement hit a 10-year low in 2024.

“The way we’re working isn’t working.”
-Tony Schwartz, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working

“Every worker needs to escape the wrong job.”
-Peter Drucker

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that.
It’s called EVERYBODY and they meet at the bar.”
-George Carlin, comedian

Here’s a quick checkup to help you see how things are going with your work—and where some extra attention could make a big difference.

Work Satisfaction Checkup: Rating Your Job

Review the factors below and rate them using the scale provided.

Work Environment

Do you feel safe and supported in your workspace, both physically and psychologically? Are the work site, tools, and resources conducive to your best work? Are you free from hazards, exploitation, bullying, and abuse?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Workload

Do you have a reasonable and manageable workload that allows you to do your work without constant or excessive stress or burnout—and without harming your health and personal life? Are expectations realistic and deadlines achievable? Do you have clear visibility into your obligations and schedule so you can plan effectively?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Compensation*

Are you paid fairly for what you do, taking into account your skill level, responsibilities, peers, industry benchmarks, cost of living in your area, and the value of your contributions? Is the pay structure transparent and predictable, with clear opportunities for increases over time? Does your total compensation—including bonuses, incentives, or other rewards—accurately reflect your impact and results?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Benefits

Are the workplace benefits (health insurance, retirement plans, time off, etc.) sufficient and helpful to your well‐being? Do they support your life beyond work (family, health, rest, etc.)? Are they appropriate for your industry, sector, and geographic area?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Manager

Does your manager treat you fairly and with respect? Do they set clear expectations and communicate effectively? Are they reasonable in their demands and supportive of your growth and wellbeing? Do you feel comfortable bringing up concerns and confident that they’ll listen and respond appropriately?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Surveys show that one in two people at some point in their careers
have left their job to get away from their managers.”
-Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge

Flexibility

Do you have flexibility in how, when, or where you work (e.g., scheduling, remote/hybrid options)? Does the job allow you to balance work and personal life? Are you able to adjust your workload or schedule when unexpected demands arise?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Fairness

Are you treated fairly when it comes to expectations, opportunities, and rewards? Are expectations clear? Is decision-making transparent and just? Does the organization avoid discrimination and bias in all forms? Do policies, promotions, and recognition apply consistently across teams and roles?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Engagement

Do you feel invested in your work? Are you energized by your role rather than feeling drained or disengaged? Do you feel connected to your team, your manager, and the organization’s purpose and vision? Are your skills and strengths being put to use effectively?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Autonomy

Do you have enough freedom to decide how you approach your work and set priorities? Are you trusted to make your own decisions on many aspects of your job without excessive oversight? Are you adequately involved in shaping your tasks, methods, or schedule in ways that help you do your best work?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Opportunity for Advancement

Is there a clear path for you to take on greater responsibility or move up the organizational ladder? Do you see possibilities for role expansion or promotion? Are advancement opportunities based on merit and performance, and communicated transparently? Do you feel supported by your manager and organization in preparing for the next step in your career?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Learning and Growth

Are there chances to develop new skills, gain knowledge, get high-quality feedback regularly, and try things and learn from mistakes? Does your organization provide sufficient training opportunities, and does your work stretch you (in a good way)? Does your work contribute to your personal growth? And does your manager encourage and support your development?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Opportunity for Achievement

Are you able to work toward excellence and mastery? Do you have goals to strive for? Do you receive feedback that helps you recognize your progress and identify ways to improve?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“The secret of joy in work is contained in one word—excellence.
To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.”
-Pearl S. Buck

Contribution

Does your work allow you to serve and contribute in ways that matter—to your team, organization, clients, and/or society? Do you feel your efforts make a tangible difference? Are you given opportunities to share ideas, take initiative, and have an impact beyond your core responsibilities?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Use of Strengths

Are you able to use your strengths (the things at which you most excel) in your work regularly? Do your tasks align with what energizes you and allows you to shine? Are you encouraged to leverage your unique skills to solve problems, lead initiatives, or contribute in other ways?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Progress on Meaningful Work

Do you have opportunities to get involved in projects that feel meaningful to you—aligned with your core values, worthy challenges, or something you care about? Are you able to make progress on them (not stuck in “busywork”)? Does your organization’s work serve a larger purpose?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”
-Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins,” Harvard Business Review, May 2011

Belonging

Do you feel part of the team? At work, do you feel that your manager and colleagues care about you? Do you feel accepted, included, and respected by your colleagues and managers? And do you have a network of supportive and reliable colleagues?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Recognition

When you and your colleagues do good work, is it noticed? Do you receive appreciation and recognition that acknowledges your contributions? Is recognition timely, specific, and meaningful? Do you feel valued not just for outcomes, but also for effort, initiative, creativity, and collaboration?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Trust

Is there a high level of mutual trust between you and your peers, your boss, and others throughout your organization? Do you feel you can rely on others—and that they can rely on you? Are people honest, transparent, and consistent in their words and actions? Do you feel safe speaking up, sharing ideas, or admitting mistakes without fear of negative consequences?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“…trust is the most significant predictor of individuals’ satisfaction within their organizations.”
-James Kouzes and Barry Posner

Values Fit

Are you asked to compromise on your values or beliefs? Does your work—and your organization’s purpose, values, vision, culture, and priorities—align with what matters to you? Do you feel proud of the work you do and the impact it has? Does your organization’s behavior match its stated values?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“I had chosen to use my work as a reflection of my values.”
-Sidney Poitier, actor, director, and activist

Enjoyment

Do you enjoy going to work and doing what you do? Are there enough moments of fun, humor, satisfaction, and flow? Do you feel energized by your work day rather than drained? Are there aspects of your role that make you look forward to contributing and collaborating with others?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.”
-Warren Buffett

What to Do with this Work Satisfaction Checkup

Here are tips on ways you can get the most out of this process for rating your job.

Celebrate: Identify and celebrate the areas you rated yourself as “thriving.” Also, think about what conditions make them possible so you can build more of them.

Assess the Big Picture. Look at your evaluation as a whole. Determine whether your workplace is good enough overall that it’s worth staying and trying to improve things, or if it has too many systemic problems that would be difficult or slow to fix. This can help you decide whether to invest in making changes where you are or to look for opportunities elsewhere. (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

Identify Growth Areas: Pick one or two areas where you feel you need the most work, given the lower rating and the relative importance to you. (But don’t choose more than one or two to address initially. There’s great power in focus.)

Brainstorm Small Action Steps: For each of those areas, what’s one concrete thing you could do about it? Examples:

Ask your manager for input, feedback, and/or career development support.
Propose a new project that aligns with your strengths, passions, and values.
Ask your manager for more flexibility or a schedule adjustment while noting specifically how you’ll be able to support your team, meet your responsibilities, and achieve your performance goals.

Hold Yourself Accountable: Revisit this work satisfaction checkup in a few months to see what’s improved. Share your plans with a trusted colleague, mentor, or friend and ask them to check in with you about it in a set period of time (e.g., three months).

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Caution: Avoid the Danger of Passivity and Cynicism

It’s easy to fall into the habit of complaining about what’s wrong at work, ruminating on your frustrations, or assuming you can’t change things. But passivity and cynicism can quietly erode your motivation and capacity. Remember: you have agency.

Yes, the current job market is challenging, making it hard for many people to leave difficult jobs. Not everyone has the privilege of plentiful options or the freedom to walk away. And yet, even in challenging circumstances, it’s important not to slip into inertia or resignation.

You often have more control and influence over your work life than you realize—whether through proactive conversations, small improvements, or reframing how you approach your role. Or your mindset. Consider “job crafting”: intentionally shaping your tasks, relationships, and perceptions at work to better align with your strengths, passions, and values. Taking proactive steps gives you a sense of control and can dramatically enhance your work life.

Conclusion

Doing well at work isn’t just about salary, success, prestige, or “climbing the ladder.” It’s also about feeling valued, engaged, and aligned. About growing and contributing. And enjoying the ride.

Use this work satisfaction checkup as a mirror: not to shame you, but to guide your awareness and stimulate purposeful and focused action. Small actions—taken consistently over time—can boost the quality of your work life dramatically.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment so you can discover your strongest areas and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.
Crafting Your Life & Work online course to help you design your next chapter and create a life you love.
Traps Test (Common Traps of Living) to help you identify what’s getting in the way of your happiness and quality of life.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Related Articles & Books

“Taking Stock of Your Quality of Life”
“How to Find a Great Organization to Work For”
“Why All the Bad Bosses—And What to Do About It”
“The Problem of Bad Leaders–And Why People Keep Following Them”
“The Telltale Signs of a Bad Boss“
“What to Do If You Work for a Toxic Boss?”
“Toxic Leaders, Susceptible Followers”
“‘Take This Job and Shove It?’ Not So Fast”
“Choice Overload and Career Transitions”
Porath, C., Spreitzer, G., Gibson, C., & Garnett, F. G. (2011). Thriving at work: Toward its measurement, construct validation, and theoretical refinement. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 33(2), 250–75.
Steger, M. F., Dik, B. J., & Duffy, R. D. (2012). Measuring meaningful work: The work and meaning inventory (WAMI). Journal of Career Assessment, 20(3), 322–37.
Wrzesniewski, A., McCauley, C., Rozin, P., & Schwartz, B. (1997). Jobs, careers, and callings: People’s relations to their work. Journal of Research in Personality, 31(1), 21–33.
Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, Designing Your Work Life
Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are
Tony Schwartz, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working

Postscript: Inspirations on Work Satisfaction and Rating Your Job

“…the problem isn’t how hard you’re working, it’s that you’re working on things that aren’t right for you. Your goals and motivations aren’t harmonizing with your deepest truth.” -Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity
“Being good at whatever we want to do—playing the violin, running a race, painting a picture, leading a group of people—is among the deepest sources of fulfillment we will ever know.” Geoff Colvin, Talent Is Overrated
“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey
“We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
“People in organizations are primarily looking for meaning in their work. But not many leaders act as though they believe that’s what really motivates people. They think money motivates people. At the end of the day, people want to know they’ve done something meaningful.” -Bill George
“…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are
“Work can provide the opportunity for spiritual and personal, as well as financial, growth. If it doesn’t, we are wasting far too much of our lives on it.” -James A. Autry, author
“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
“Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.” -Johnny Carson
“It is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.” -Jim Collins
“The thought once occurred to me that if one wanted to crush and destroy a man entirely, to mete out to him the most terrible punishment, one at which the most fearsome murderer would tremble, shrinking from it in advance, all one would have to do would be to make him do work that was completely and utterly devoid of usefulness and meaning.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“Money sometimes costs too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“In our time, we workers are being called to reexamine our work: how we do it; whom it is helping or hurting; what it is we do; and what we might be doing if we were to let go of our present work and follow a deeper call.” -Matthew Fox
“To be happy I think you have to be doing something you not only enjoy, but admire.” -Paul Graham
“Work to become, not to acquire.” -Elbert Hubbard
“The highest reward of a person’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes through it.” -John Ruskin
“Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette
“When you’re doing the work you’re meant to do, it feels right and every day is a bonus, regardless of what you’re getting paid.” -Oprah Winfrey
“Having a bad boss isn’t your fault. Staying with one is.” -Nora Denzel, tech executive
“…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
“Some people thrive when they find joy in how they earn a living, but others are at peace with less emotional connection to their work and instead relish the joy in their passions outside their nine-to-five.” -David Anderson, business executive

* Pay dissatisfaction is a leading cause of frustration or disappointment with work, according to the research. “One of the aspects of work that employed adults express the least satisfaction with is how much they are paid. Large majorities of workers who are not self-employed and who are not too or not at all satisfied with their pay cite each of the following as major reasons:

Their pay hasn’t kept up with increases in cost of living (80%)
Their pay is too low for the quality of work they do (71%)
Their pay is too low for the amount of work they do (70%)

Just over half (54%) say a major reason for their dissatisfaction with their pay is that they don’t earn enough to pay their bills. A smaller share (28%) say they are paid less than co-workers who do similar work.”

(Source: Pew Research Center Report on job satisfaction, December 2024)

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How Inertia Keeps Us from Making Needed Changes

10/06/202501/30/2023 by Gregg Vanourek

how inertia keeps us from making needed changes

Inertia can keep us from making needed changes in our life or work. Because of inertia, we can stick with a sub-optimal path, often because it feels safer and easier.

According to Isaac Newton’s first law of motion, something at rest will remain at rest, and something in motion will remain in motion, unless it’s acted upon by an external force. It’s often called “the law of inertia.”

Think of the amount of fuel and energy it takes for a rocket to blast off. Next, think of a loaded freight train barreling down the tracks and how much energy it will take to stop it.

Inertia in Our Lives

We can think of inertia not only in terms of physics but also in terms of inertia in our life and work—in terms of resistance to changes.

Dr. Jim Taylor, a performance psychologist, points to what he calls the “law of human inertia,” noting that we tend to remain on the course of our current life trajectory unless a greater force enters the picture—either externally or internally. He notes that our current life trajectory is highly resistant to change because of all the forces that propel it. He writes, “A little effort here or there is unlikely to change the direction of our lives because it is already being driven by potent forces.” Forces that help keep us on the same trajectory include our identity, the people around us, and our daily habits and routines.

Dr. Taylor notes that, while we often talk about feeling stuck when we’re dissatisfied with our lives, more often the problem is that we have so many things going on in our lives that small efforts here and there are unlikely to initiate the desired changes. If we want to redirect the forces that are propelling us on our current trajectory, we must summon even greater force to make that happen—and point them in a clear direction.

He also notes that, in many cases, we’re still on the same trajectory that began when we were much younger, still repeating some of the same patterns and falling into some of the same traps (e.g., trying to be perfect or please others, comparing ourselves to others, etc.).

It’s worth questioning whether we want to remain on our current path. If we’re stuck in a job we don’t like, or that feels like a major compromise, we should ask whether we’re hampered down with inertia. Did we choose our path intentionally and for good reasons that still stand up to scrutiny, or are we on it by default?

Changing the course of our life and work can require much from us: taking stock, getting clarity on what we want and the changes needed to get there, and then taking action.

“Nothing happens until something moves.”
-Albert Einstein

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

The Implications of Inertia

Years ago, a family friend, J.D., had just graduated from a prestigious university and was thinking about a career in business. He went to my father for advice since Dad was in the middle of a long and distinguished business career.

J.D. didn’t know what area of business to focus on, so Dad walked him through the various functions of business, from sales, marketing, and human resources to finance, manufacturing, and engineering. After hearing about all the options, J.D. realized something troubling: none of them appealed to him.

At this point, his Mom jumped in and asked J.D. what did appeal to him. After a long pause, he quietly responded that he’d like to go to medical school and become a doctor, but he knew that was impossible because he hadn’t taken the necessary prerequisites. He couldn’t go back and take them because of the time and expense.

Of course, that made total sense. The cost would be great, and the time, effort, and money already invested felt enormous.

But compared to what? Given his expectations and what all his classmates were doing (and perhaps the fear of falling behind), the idea of going backward instead of forward seemed foolish and naive.

But how might the calculus change if he broadened the aperture to the sweep of his life and career? If J.D. were to work 40 hours a week for, say, 45 years, he’d end up working for about 90,000 hours over the course of his career

How does this decision look in that larger context? What would it be worth to work for 90,000 hours doing something that tugged at his heart instead of something that didn’t?

His Mom didn’t miss a beat. She said he should go back to school if that’s what he really wanted to do. And so he did.

Thus began his remarkable journey as a doctor. He’s now medical director of the pediatric cardiac transplant program at a nationally ranked children’s hospital, and he still loves what he does.

Inertia in Companies

Of course, inertia isn’t just a problem for people. It can also plague companies. Think of all the companies that struggled or even cratered because they stuck with their existing strategy and business model when the market around them was changing.

I call it the “disruption graveyard,” and it’s not only huge but still growing.

Leadership Derailers Assessment

Take this assessment to identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness. A critical and often overlooked tool for your leadership development.

The Problem with Inertia

The inertia trap can lead to painful consequences. For individuals, it can lead to:

settling for “good enough” instead of what we really want
feeling dissatisfied with our life or work
playing small even though we know something bigger is possible for us
preventing us from trying new things and taking risks
feeling pangs of regret when we look back

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful
as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”
-Mandy Hale

For organizations, it can lead to lower revenues and profits, a precarious competitive position, or even insolvency.

Why Overcoming Inertia Is So Hard

Changing our path is hard because it disrupts our mental equilibrium. We’re wired to prefer order and familiarity—and to fear the unknown. We know that change can be slow and hard—and sometimes grueling and brutal. It can bring losses, even big ones.

Here are many of the reasons why overcoming inertia is so hard:

When thinking about making some changes, our “loss aversion” kicks in.
For most people, the pain of losing something is psychologically about twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining something equivalent, according to researchers. As a result, most people are more motivated to avoid losses than go for gains.

Many of us tend to overthink things and fall into the trap of “analysis paralysis.”
It’s hard to get moving in a new direction when we’re deep in all the mental weeds of scenarios and suppositions.

“Successful people start before they’re ready.”
-James Clear, author

It takes a great deal of energy to go from standing still to moving.
This is as true in our lives and careers as it is in physics. Getting started—or re-started—is often the hardest part. If we’ve taken time off due to parental leave or a sabbatical, or to raise a family, those transitions can be wonderful, if slightly unnerving sometimes. We should truly make the most out of them and appreciate them. But they can also make it much harder to start up again, both for us and for people considering whether to hire us. It’s the heaviness of restarting.

We feel like we’re so far along our current path that it would be foolish to make a change now.
Researchers point to the “sunk cost fallacy” as a factor that keeps us on our current path. In this mode, we’re reluctant to abandon a course of action because we’ve invested heavily in it (e.g., with time, money, or effort), instead of asking whether it really makes sense to continue with it, looking at it objectively today. A related point: many of us are susceptible to “status quo bias,” according to researchers—a preference for maintaining the current state of affairs (and resisting actions that will change it).

“Everything seems to conspire to keep us where we are….
Life seems more comfortable in known, familiar territory.”
-Bob Buford, Half Time

We have a hard time deciding what to do next, sometimes aggravated by “choice overload.”
Psychologist Barry Schwartz calls it the “paradox of choice.” He argues that having many choices leads to anxiety and “analysis paralysis,” in which we become frozen in undecidedness. We fear making the wrong choice. In many cases, though, there’s no way of knowing in advance if choices will be “right” or “wrong,” so the key is using a good decision-making process and then implementing our decisions as best we can and adjusting as we go.

We can be bogged down by fears.
This can be a fear of failure, or of rejection, or of making the wrong decision. It can be a fear of being judged by others. (We suffer cognitive dissonance when there’s a gap between what we want and what those who care about us want for us, often causing us to crumple back to the status quo.) Or it can be a fear of losing something (such as stability, safety, balance, or a relationship with others), or a fear of the unknown, or a fear of commitment.

We may have perfectionist tendencies that hold us back.
With all the messiness of change, our perfectionism won’t let us enter that liminal state where we can look and feel foolish because we don’t yet have our bearings. Such perfectionism is harmful because it prevents us from tolerating the transition periods when we’re in between roles and identities, when things aren’t yet sorted and clear.

We’re trying to do too many things at once.
That causes us to get bogged down, and it makes it very difficult to summon enough focused energy to change our course. If we’re overcommitted and lacking margin in our lives, we won’t have enough time, space, and energy to change our trajectory.

We may be limited by our current relationships.
For example, we may have a spouse or partner who has different values and aspirations. Or perhaps we’re both not summoning effort and creativity to work through differences and find a workable solution.

We may lack the confidence to take on the risks associated with making changes.
Most people view confidence as something innate, but the truth is that, while some people have more of a disposition toward confidence than others, it’s something we can and should build. Confidence gives us conviction that we can succeed.

We may lack clarity about some essential things that could help us overcome our inertia.
Like what? Our purpose in life (our deeper why, our reason for being), our core values (what’s most important to us), and our vision of the good life (a picture of what success looks like for our lives).

We may feel as though it’s too late to make the needed changes.
Like we’ve missed the boat. While this is a very common notion, the truth is that it’s most often flat-out wrong. In most cases, there’s still much more time than we think, and we should be careful not to let excuses and rationalizations prevent us from doing what’s necessary to make improvements. (See my article, “The Trap of Thinking It’s Too Late for Big Things in Our Lives.”)

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

What to Do About It

Clearly, overcoming inertia in our life and work can be challenging. Fortunately, there are many things we can do about it that will set us up for success.

We can:

Begin by acknowledging the reality of our current situation with brutal honesty while maintaining high standards for what we accept in our lives.
Let go of the past and all the things we’re holding on to that are preventing us from moving forward.
Take full responsibility for our current state.
Look for the root causes of what’s keeping us stuck. Perhaps we’re afraid of failing or are too caught up in helping others?
Summon our motivation and courage to try, in part by tapping into any dissatisfaction we may feel about our present state.
Get clear about what’s most important (our purpose and core values) and what we want and where we want to go (our vision and goals).

“…the first tangible step to change—is knowing what you intend to change into.
Before you can start a healthy change in your life or in the world,
you need to consider what a healthy change even is.”
-Tyler Kleeberger
Outline concrete steps we can start taking to move us closer to our vision and goals.
Create margin for the needed changes in life. Without that, the changes will suffocate from lack of oxygen.
Set a date to decide about our next steps, to infuse our change process with urgency.
Get some separation from our current network and routines to free up opportunities for new perspectives and change. According to Professor Herminia Ibarra from London Business School, “We are all more malleable when separated from the people and places that trigger old habits and old selves. Change always starts with separation…. maintaining some degree of separation from the network of relationships that defined our former professional lives can be vital to our reinvention.”
Make sure we don’t have unrealistic expectations for the pace and magnitude of change. (Note the “planning fallacy,” a well-researched phenomenon in which we tend to underestimate the time it will take to complete a task. It can set us up for frustration and perhaps failure, causing us to abandon our change efforts.)
Start small. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking we have to have everything figured out in advance or that we need to make big changes straightaway. According to the “progress principle” from Dr. Teresa Amabile from Harvard Business School, the most important thing we can do to boost our motivation is make progress in meaningful work. The more frequently we do that, the more likely we are to remain productive over time. Everyday progress and small wins can make all the difference in how we feel and perform. What’s more, this leads to what they call a “progress loop” in which our inner experience of motivation drives performance, and that performance further enhances our inner work life.*
Ask for help, ideally from a friend, mentor, coach, or support group—and surround ourselves with positive and supportive people.
Maintain healthy habits. Be disciplined when it comes to exercise, nutrition, sleep, and breaks, since our physiology profoundly influences our mental state.
Adopt the habit of periodically disrupting our own lives and career to avoid falling into the trap of complacency.
Develop momentum in our preferred direction by aligning an array of forces: our purpose, values, vision, strengths, passions, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, habits, and expectations. Bad habits are a form of friction on our desired life trajectory. Good habits are jet fuel.

“The secret to getting results that last is to never stop making improvements….
Small habits don’t add up. They compound. That’s the power of atomic habits.
Tiny changes. Remarkable results.”
-James Clear

Investor and writer Mark Mulvey notes that start time and frequency are critical factors. He writes:

“The sooner you start the farther you tend to go….
The more often you do something the more you will tend to continue doing it.”

This points to a flipside to the challenge of overcoming inertia: we can also use the law of inertia to our advantage. If we’re able to change our mindset, obtain clarity, and get moving in a different direction, we can develop real momentum, especially via daily practices and disciplined habits. Eventually, the benefits start to accumulate and grow, much like the power of compound interest.

Conclusion

In the end, when it comes to questions about which path we’re on and how to summon the energy required to change it, we need to be brutally honest and play the long game. By taking the long view, we can avoid the cost of regret for not trying.

Reflection Questions

Is inertia keeping you from making needed changes? If so, in what areas?
Is it time to re-evaluate and start changing your trajectory?
What’s the cost of not taking action?

Tools for You

Traps Test (Common Traps of Living) to help you identify what’s getting in the way of your happiness and quality of life
Personal Values Exercise to help you clarify what’s most important to you
Leadership Derailers Assessment to help you identify what’s inhibiting your leadership effectiveness

Related Articles:

“What Keeps Us from Moving On?“
“The Trap of Thinking It’s Too Late for Big Things in Our Lives“
“Time to Check the Path You’re On?“
“Tired of Settling? How to Light Your Life and Work on Fire”
“The Trap of Deferring Dreams and Postponing Happiness”
“Getting Good at Overcoming Fear”
“Golden Handcuffs: Stuck in a Job You Don’t Like?”
“The Incredible Benefits of Being Action-Oriented”
“Unlock the Power of Progress”
“Are You Trapped by Success?”
“The Conformity Trap”
“Is Your Identity Wrapped Up Too Much in Your Work”
“Do You Have Margin in Your Life?”
“Choice Overload and Career Transitions”
“Why You Should Do an Annual Life Review–And How“
Herminia Ibarra, “Working Identity—Nine Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career,” Harvard Business School Working Knowledge, February 10, 2003
Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins,” Harvard Business Review, May 2011

Postscript: Inspirations on Overcoming Inertia

“Inertia is the force that holds the universe together. Literally. Without it, things would fall apart. It’s also what keeps us locked in destructive habits, and resistant to change.” -Shane Parrish, Farnam Street
“Humans are creatures of least resistance. We take the road most traveled, or the road best paved. So much of our behavior runs on autopilot.” -Aline Holzwarth, applied behavioral scientist
“It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten-track for ourselves.” -Henry David Thoreau
“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” -Will Rogers
“Sometimes you make up your mind about something without knowing why, and your decision persists by the power of inertia. Every year it gets harder to change.” -Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
“The recipe for staying stuck is to try to do too many things at one time.” -Todd Herman
“It’s better to fail trying to do what you really care about than to succeed at something else.” -Mark Albion
“You don’t have to be one of those people that accepts things as they are. Every day, take responsibility for changing them right where you are.” -Cory Booker
“To change one’s life, start immediately, do it flamboyantly, no exceptions.” -William James
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is in your daily routine.” -John Maxwell
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” -Chinese proverb
“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” -Meister Eckhart, German theologian, philosopher, and mystic
“Never be passive about your life… ever, ever.” -Robert Egger, social entrepreneur, activist, and author
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” -Epictetus

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

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* Source: Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins,” Harvard Business Review, May 2011

“Resist the temptation to start by making a big decision that will change everything in one fell swoop.
Use a strategy of small wins, in which incremental gains lead you to more profound changes
in the basic assumptions that define your work and life. Accept the crooked path.
Small steps lead to big changes, so don’t waste time, energy, and money
on finding the ‘answer’ or the ‘lever’ that, when pushed, will have dramatic effects.
Almost no one gets change right on the first try.”
–Dr. Herminia Ibarra, London Business School

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Burnout and the Great Resignation

02/11/202509/29/2021 by Gregg Vanourek

Burnout has been a big problem for millions of people for a long time now. And it’s getting worse.

Burnout is also affecting more young people. And the pandemic, with all the extra stressors and pressures it’s brought to so many, is aggravating the burnout problem. These are major ingredients of the “great resignation.”

What is burnout? According to the Mayo Clinic, job burnout is “a special type of work-related stress—a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity.”

When we’re burned out, we feel run-down and exhausted or empty. It’s related to overwork (when we work beyond our capacity) and workaholism, a state of addiction to work in which we struggle to switch it off.

The Covid Context

The pandemic has added fuel to this fire. Here’s some recent data:

52% of survey respondents reported experiencing burnout in 2021, up from 43% in Indeed’s pre-Covid survey, and 67% say burnout has worsened during the pandemic.
According to a 2021 Deloitte survey, 77% of respondents say that’ve experienced burnout at their current job, with more than half noting more than one occurrence.
91% say the quality of their work has been negatively impacted by having an unmanageable amount of stress or frustration.
83% say job burnout can negatively affect their personal relationships.
Nearly 70% of professionals feel their employers are not doing enough to prevent or alleviate burnout.

Also, the average share of adults reporting symptoms of anxiety disorder and/or depressive disorder, has increased dramatically, from 11% in January-June 2019 (before the pandemic) to 41% in January 2021 (during the pandemic), according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

Effects of Burnout

We know that job burnout can have major negative effects on our health and lives, including:

Excessive stress
Fatigue
Insomnia
Irritability
Anger
Sadness
Alcohol and substance abuse
High blood pressure
Type 2 diabetes
Weakened immune system

(Source: Mayo Clinic.)

Symptoms of Burnout

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are many symptoms of job burnout, including:

Becoming critical or cynical at work
Feeling low motivation to go to work and start working
Becoming impatient or irritable with others
Finding it hard to concentrate
Feeling disillusioned about the work
Lacking satisfaction from achievements
Using food, alcohol, or other substances to self-medicate or tamp down feelings
Experiencing health issues, including poor sleep, headaches, stomach problems, and more

Causes of Burnout

According to researchers, there are many causes of job burnout, including:

A sense of a lack of control, including an inability to influence relevant decisions
Unclear or unrealistic job expectations, including job scope creep
Dysfunctional work dynamics, such as micromanagers or office bullies
Lack of social support, including isolation at work or home
Work demands that impede on important family or social commitments outside of work
Lack of communication, feedback, and support at work
Frequent time pressures, raising stress levels
Limited upward mobility
The removal of boundaries between work and home

Note that burnout doesn’t come automatically from long hours. Whether it sets in can depend on many factors, including context, personality, mindset, and worker actions.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

The Great Resignation

So where does all this leave us, amidst a pandemic with a burnout epidemic? According to a Microsoft survey of more than 30,000 workers around the world, 41% of workers were considering quitting or changing professions this year. In the U.S., more than four million people quit their jobs in April 2021. That’s the biggest increase on record, according to the Department of Labor.

Nearly half of millennials have left a job due to burnout, compared to 42% for all respondents, according to Deloitte.

The reasons for leaving a job are often multifaceted. Common reasons include not only burnout but also:

Substandard pay
Lack of meaning at work
Work that doesn’t fit with, or even violates, our values
Lack of dignity or respect at work
Feeling like a cog in a large machine
Lack of human connection
Lack of good management and proper recognition
Poor working conditions

The pandemic has caused a shift in priorities in life for many. In some cases, it’s provided motivation to pursue a dream job or more meaningful work. Or it’s stoked resentment about being treated poorly, or not getting adequate support. The great resignation is a tectonic shift that should wake us all up to the need to think and act anew about work.

What to Do About It

We’re all responsible for our own condition. Including the need to act when a situation is bad or toxic. Though the context is tough for many, there’s still much we can do not only to reduce or eliminate burnout. And to improve our working and living conditions:

Boundaries. Set boundaries and get better at saying “no.” If we try to please everybody, we’ll fail miserably. No matter how hard we may try, we can never do things just as others might want or expect.
Breaks. Take regular breaks (e.g., Pomodoro technique) to improve your physical and emotional state, gaining a fresh perspective in the process.
Exercise. Move your body more to build strength, endurance, and energy. It causes positive reactions in your body that affect your mood, and it helps you sleep well.
Gratitude. Be grateful for what you have. That can have powerful effects on your quality of life, including improved wellbeing, life satisfaction, sense of connectedness, and physical health.
Healthy Support Systems. Take time and care to develop relationships based on trust, diversity, reciprocity, commitment, openness, and vulnerability. Build healthy support systems that act like roots that ground us in life. (Source: LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives)
Hobbies. Find something you enjoy (e.g., gardening, hiking, photography) and build it into your daily or weekly routine.
Job Crafting. Craft your work intentionally. Take actions to shape or redesign what you do at work, especially changing your mindset toward your work to make it more satisfying and meaningful, but also changing tasks and relationships when possible.
Meditation and Mindfulness. Mindfulness has been defined as “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally” (Jon Kabat-Zinn). Researchers have found many benefits from mindfulness practices, including improvements in mental and physical health, as well as performance.
Nature. Fresh air and sunlight are essential. Given all our screen time, we need to be sure we’re getting outside enough with walks, hikes, runs, bikes, or trips to the park.
Nutrition. Our bodies need good fuel if they are to remain resilient and energized.
Reframing. Reframe things from setbacks or defeats to challenges or opportunities (for learning and growth).
Sanctuary. Find places or practices of peace (e.g., nature, prayer), allowing you to get beyond your ego and connect with something larger than yourself.
Savoring. Fully feel and enjoy positive experiences, magnifying and extending them in the process.
Self-Reflection. Engage in self-reflection and seek to identify the root causes of your burnout. Look especially for what may drive a sense of resentment (such as work causing too much missed family time during the precious formative years of children).
Sleep. Sleep turns out to be one of the most essential practices for physical and mental health. Poor sleep has tremendous deleterious effects on a wide range of factors: addictive behaviors, anxiety, appetite, attention, concentration, creativity, decision-making, depression, ethical behavior, impulsiveness, irritability, memory, motivation, relationships. Don’t forget about naps.
Writing / Journaling. Research has shown that writing about stressful experiences can help people create meaning from them. (The same can be true for talking through feelings with others.)
Yoga. Yoga can increase flexibility, strengthen muscles, center thoughts, and relax and calm the mind.

In summary, lead yourself and intentionally craft your life and work, taking full responsibility for your life and refusing to adopt a victim mindset.

Reflection Questions

Are you at risk of burning out?
What are the root causes?
What will you do about it?
Which of the above practices work best for you?

Tools for You

Traps Test (Common Traps of Living) to help you identify what’s getting in the way of your happiness and quality of life
Quality of Life Assessment to help you discover your strongest areas and the areas that need work and then act accordingly
Personal Values Exercise to help you clarify what’s most important to you

Related Articles

Postscript: Quotations about Burnout and Renewal

“The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances.” -Andrew Bernstein
Burnout is “civilization’s disease…. It is not only an individual disorder that affects some who are ill-suited to the system, or too committed, or who don’t know how to put limits to their professional lives. It is also a disorder that, like a mirror, reflects some excessive values of our society.” -Pascal Cabot, Belgian philosopher
“Every important mistake I’ve made in my life, I’ve made because I was too tired.” -Bill Clinton
“In life itself, there is a time to seek inner peace, a time to rid oneself of tension and anxiety. The moment comes when the striving must let up, when wisdom says, ‘Be quiet.’ You’ll be surprised how the world keeps on revolving without your pushing it. And you’ll be surprised how much stronger you are the next time you decide to push.” -John W. Gardner
“What do we want more of in life?… It’s not accomplishments. It’s not popularity. It’s moments when we feel like we are enough. More presence. More clarity. More insight. More truth. More stillness.” -Ryan Holiday, Stillness Is the Key
“Creating the culture of burnout is opposite to creating a culture of sustainable creativity.” -Arianna Huffington
“We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm.” -Nikos Kazantzakis, Zorba the Greek
“Of all ridiculous things the most ridiculous seems to me, to be busy.” -Soren Kierkegaard
“Burnout sets in when two conditions prevail: Certainties start to characterize the workday, and demands of the job make workers lose a sense of control.” -Ellen Langer
“A rested Andrew can do more in four hours than a tired Andrew can do in eight. It’s not only diminishing returns; [not being rested] is like a scorpion’s tail—it can undo things. That’s true of everyone’s productivity and particularly in an intellectual role like that of a CEO. A lot of boards don’t get that. People need to be fresh.” -Andrew Mackenzie, CEO, BHP
“Burnout is about resentment. [Preventing it is] about knowing yourself well enough to know what it is you’re giving up that makes you resentful.” -Marissa Mayer, tech executive
“Overwork sucks us into a negative spiral, causing our brains to slow down and compromising our emotional intelligence.” -Annie McKee
“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” -Ovid
“Burnout is a state of emptiness, to be sure, but it does not result from giving all I have: it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place.” -Parker Palmer
“No matter how much value we produce today—whether it’s measured in dollars or sales or goods or widgets—it’s never enough. We run faster, stretch out our arms further, and stay at work longer and later. We’re so busy trying to keep up that we stop noticing we’re in a Sisyphean race we can never win.” -Tony Schwartz
“It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” -Henry David Thoreau

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, TEDx speaker, and coach on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Golden Handcuffs: Stuck in a Job You Don’t Like?

10/20/202508/31/2021 by Gregg Vanourek

two hands in golden handcuffs

Stuck in a job you don’t like? Enduring it? Too often, we do it for the money, the security, or the prestige, but not for its intrinsic value. We stick it out, trapped by golden handcuffs.

Golden handcuffs are financial incentives designed to keep workers at an organization. We may long to leave a job and set out on a new adventure, but the thought of giving up the salary, bonus, or other perks makes us stay.

It helps to view it from our own perspective. Sometimes we place the golden handcuffs on ourselves. They can come in the form of lifestyle choices (regarding possessions and consumption) that inhibit us from doing what we want with our life. We’re financially tethered to a job that’s not a good fit.

There’s nothing wrong with money, or making a lot of it, or enjoying the fruits of our hard work. The problem comes when we’re chained to a job we don’t like and sacrifice our quality of life for huge swaths of time. When we’re stuck with a manager we don’t respect or can’t stand. Or at an organization with a poor culture, or toxic employees. When we’re stressed or burned out but feel trapped.

We may feel stuck due to our fear of the unknown. Or we fear a loss of status, or the judgment of others if we make a change.

What’s Really Going On

These decisions have many factors. We have expenses. There are things we want to do in life, and they cost money. We have bills to pay. We have a family to feed, or trips we’ve been dreaming of, or kids’ college and retirement to save for. Fair enough.

But we rationalize. We accept other people’s definition of success and live on their terms instead of our own. We make big decisions based on the assumption that success is the point of life—or that status will give us what we want.

In many cases, the problem is compounded by overconsumption and “lifestyle creep”: when our expenses or spending go up as our discretionary income increases.

Too many of us are living paycheck to paycheck (54% of U.S. consumers, according to recent data). According to a 2021 CNBC report, the average American has $90,460 in debt. People want that bigger house, that nicer car, that better neighborhood. They struggle to keep up with mortgage payments, car loans, credit card debt, student loans, and more.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Related Traps & Articles

Golden handcuffs may be a problem for many reasons. Our life and work choices are complex. Related traps include:

Wrong Path: pursuing a path that doesn’t align with your values and aspirations
Climbing mode: focusing so much on climbing the ladder of success, and on achievement and advancement, that we never take time for discovering who we are, what we love, and what we long to do in the world
Conform: conforming to societal conventions or conventional paths instead of blazing our own path in life
Ego: being self-absorbed and caught up in our own stuff, without focusing on something larger than ourselves
Emptiness: feeling empty about what we’re doing
Outer-driven: being driven by the expectations of others
Prestige: hunger for status, prestige, or approval
“Hedonic treadmill”: the tendency to remain at a set level of happiness despite a change in fortune or the achievement of goals
Comparison Trap: constantly comparing ourselves to others and judging our worth by how we stack up on superficial metrics
False Metrics of Success: measuring success in cold and calculating ways, such as income, net worth, position, power, or number of followers
Inertia: sticking with a sub-optimal path, often because the switching costs are so high
Not Moving On: holding on too long to a bad situation or relationship and not moving forward
Short Game: failing the invest in the future and deciding important things without considering the long term
“How to Improve Your Financial Health”

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

What to Do about It

OK, we know that golden handcuffs can be a big problem. What to do about it?

First, reduce spending and start saving to free up some margin in your life.

“Do not save what is left after spending; instead spend what is left after saving.”
-Warren Buffett, chairman and CEO, Berkshire Hathaway

Second, build up not only your emergency fund but also your cash runway for when you want or need to make a work change. When Seth Goldman was a young professional working in finance, he was “living lean” and driving an old car and foregoing the amenities that his friends were spending a lot of money on. By doing so, he was able to give himself a much longer runway when he decided to take the entrepreneurial leap and start his company, Honest Tea.

Third, invest in yourself—in your knowledge and skills, and in your network. Such an investment pays the biggest dividends over time.

Fourth, go out and do some “life design interviews”: find people you admire who do work that interests you and ask them about their career path and life trajectory, including what they do and how they got there.

Fifth, spend time with new people in the fields you’re interested in exploring—learning new things and adopting new mindsets. Sometimes the people in our current situation are the ones holding us back.

Sixth, recognize that the career design and change process is usually messy and iterative, not a quick and clear process. Get curious and active. Embrace the transition process with all its possibilities and mysteries—including the possibility of recrafting your current work to be a better fit and a source of meaning and fulfillment as well as income.

Seventh, play it smart—with a healthy balance between wisdom and urgency. Don’t jump off a financial cliff. Invest thought and time in a smart process. At the same time, don’t wait too long. (The more common mistake is waiting too long—or never making a change—not moving too quickly.)

Finally, once you’ve decided your new direction, be bold and take massive action. Be flexible with approach, since reality rarely lines up with our plans, but show faith in your convictions.

Work comprises a huge part of your life. Why not craft it according to your values and aspirations?

Reflection Questions

Are you trapped by golden handcuffs?
If so, how long have you been in this trap?
What will you do about it, starting today?

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Tools for You

Traps Test (Common Traps of Living) to help you identify what’s getting in the way of your happiness and quality of life
Personal Values Exercise to help you clarify what’s most important to you
Quality of Life Assessment so you can discover your strongest areas and the areas that need work, then act accordingly

Postscript: Inspirations for Escaping the Golden Handcuffs

“It’s better to fail trying to do what you really care about than to succeed at something else.” -Mark Albion
“Work can provide the opportunity for spiritual and personal, as well as financial, growth. If it doesn’t, we are wasting far too much of our lives on it.” -James A. Autry
“So many of us choose our paths in life out of fear disguised as practicality.” -Jim Carrey
“I don’t have a problem with what you do, that’s your choice. What I have a problem with is you lying to yourself about why you’re doing the things you’re doing. You have a choice.” -Jerry Colonna
“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey
“Every worker needs to escape the wrong job.” -Peter Drucker
“Money sometimes costs too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
“For too long we have been dreaming a dream from which we are now waking up: the dream that if you just improve the socio-economic status of people, everything will be OK, people will become happy. The truth is that as the struggle for survival has subsided, the question has emerged: survival for what? Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.” -Victor Frankl
“And then there is the most dangerous risk of all—the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.” -Randy Komisar

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Is Your Identity Wrapped Up Too Much in Your Work?

12/29/202308/05/2021 by Gregg Vanourek

Work is a big part of our lives. It’s essential to our income and security, and it can be a source of meaning and satisfaction. But there are dangers with having our identity too wrapped up in our work.

What happens if we’re laid off? Or in-between jobs? No longer able to do that kind of work? Retired? We’re vulnerable to an identity crisis and a downward spiral when the work that animates our identity disappears or changes.

“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.”
-Colin Powell, U.S. Army officer, statesman, and diplomat

For sure, there are many different types of workers out there: nine to fivers working for the weekend, side hustlers, part-timers, hybrid professionals, unemployed, underemployed, and more. Some like or love what they do. Others despise or endure it.

Some toil away in a workaholic organizational culture. Others are trying to live up to parental expectations. Some are trapped in golden handcuffs. Others can’t stop ruminating about work situations and scenarios.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

The Traps of Overidentification with Work

There’s nothing wrong with working hard. Or with loving or liking what we do. Or with identifying with our work.

The problem comes when we identify too much with our work, losing other important aspects of ourselves and our lives in the process.

“You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive.
You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your f**king khakis.”
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Problems come when we bury ourselves in busyness and overwork—when we glorify being busy and can’t slow down and shut if off (or can’t feel good when we’re not working). According to a meta-analysis of 89 studies, workaholism is related to lower physical and mental health and lower job, family, and life satisfaction. Sometimes we use overwork to avoid dealing with difficulties, disconnections, rejections, or wounds.

We get into trouble when work is all about trying to please or impress others. When we reject who we really are—abandoning our true nature and avoiding our calling.

Problems pop up when we bury ourselves in someone else’s priorities so much so that we never get to our own.

It’s nice when we get recognition, praise, or even prestige from our work, but it’s dangerous when we become dependent on those, addicted to our next hit.

It’s a problem if we feel terrible when work is going poorly, clouding everything in disappointment.

It becomes a trap when our relationship with work becomes an obsession in which we’re constantly striving and can’t switch it off—when we’re never satisfied with things as they are.

It’s trouble when our attachment to work disconnects us from meaningful relationships—from the people we love and who need us.

“…the work I’ve put between us, you know it doesn’t keep me warm.”
-Don Henley in “The Heart of the Matter”

It’s limiting when our current work keeps us from moving forward and trying new things, because we feel safer in the current iteration of our work and wary of venturing forth. So we avoid the uncertainty and awkwardness of the in-between periods of our lives—the ones that tend to lead to the biggest breakthroughs in growth and fulfillment after we ride out the storms of fear and doubt and stare down the unknown.

The problem is when our identity is wrapped up too much in our work, with too much emotional investment (and time). It leads to stress, anxiety, burnout, or depression—and a sense of emptiness, disappointment, or regret.

Who are we? Are we only our title? Only the person who gains income or accolades? Yes, we are those, and we’re wise if we’re intentional as possible about infusing those activities with as much heart and soul and fun as we can. It’s great if we can integrate our life and work into a cohesive whole that suits us. It’s powerful if we can integrate our values, passions, and authenticity across all the domains of our lives, bridging them with an overarching sense of purpose.

“A happy life is one which is in accordance with its own nature.”
-Seneca, Roman Stoic philosopher

But aren’t we also husbands or wives, fathers or mothers, sons or daughters, friends and neighbors, lovers and dreamers, community members, citizens, and humans bound together on spaceship Earth?

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

What to Do If Your Identity Is Wrapped Up in Work

What to do when we’re identifying too much with our work and not honoring other important areas of our lives?

Return to what’s important: who and what do we love? What do we long for? What are we missing in our life?

Do we have enough vitality, connection, and contribution in our lives, as Jonathan Fields recommends? Do we have a strong sense of our “core identity,” and are we living with “authentic integrity” (integration of all aspects of our lives in a way that coheres with our true nature)?

We all get off-kilter sometimes. We need to cut ourselves some slack. But we also need to stop lying to ourselves. We must take our lives back when we’ve given them away. We must honor the fullness of our nature and the marvelous range and depth of our lives, both in and out of the work we do. If we do, we can learn to be well regardless of the events and circumstances of the day, grounded in a deeper presence and appreciation for all that we’ve been given.

Reflection Questions

Is your identity wrapped up in work?
What important areas of your life are you neglecting?
What will you do start doing to make yourself whole again?

Tools for You

Traps Test (Common Traps of Living) to help you identify what’s getting in the way of your happiness and quality of life
Quality of Life Assessment so you can discover your strongest areas and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.
Personal Values Exercise to help you clarify what’s most important to you

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Related Articles

Postscript: Inspirations on Life, Work, and Identity

“Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” -Epictetus
“‘Can I be comfortable in my own skin regardless of what’s going on around me?’ And that to me is the definition of true success.” -Peter Crone
“People who can tolerate the painful discrepancies of the between-identities period, which reflect underlying ambivalence about letting go of the old or embracing the new, end up in a better position to make informed choices. With the benefit of time between selves, we are more likely to make the deep change necessary to discover satisfying lives and work and to eventually restore a sense of community to our lives.” -Herminia Ibarra

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, TEDx speaker, and coach on leadership and personal development. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for integrating our life and work with purpose, passion, and contribution) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Do You Have Margin in Your Life?

07/11/202407/16/2021 by Gregg Vanourek

Many of us are always “on” these days, running from task to task. Never-ending demands. Frenetic pace. We fill every available moment with activity or scrolling through our digital feeds. The problem: We don’t have enough margin in our lives.

Young hustlers making it happen. Working parents managing the household. Climbing the corporate ladder or growing our small business or nonprofit. Perpetual busyness.

It feels heavy always going at this pace. We get exhausted.

It’s not common to talk and think in terms of margin in our lives. But it’s needed now more than ever. A margin is the border between things, like the margin on a page. Filling every page up to the max just gets overwhelming.

The Consequences of Not Having Margin in Life

The consequences of not having margin are severe: lower quality of life, less happiness and fulfillment, and lower performance at work over time.

“If I was to sum up the single biggest problem of senior leadership in the Information Age, it’s a lack of reflection. Solitude allows you to reflect while others are reacting. We need solitude to refocus on prospective decision-making, rather than just reacting to problems as they arise.”
-General James Mattis, former U.S. Secretary of Defense and four-star Marine Corps General

It can damage to our health and relationships—and our soul. Not having enough margin in life can lead to burnout and a sense of emptiness. It takes time away from the things we enjoy, such as hobbies or time with friends. And it prevents us from exercising enough. Notably, it also induces us to stress-eat, binge-watch, or skimp on sleep.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

The Benefits of Margin in Life

Having margin gives us room to breathe, to reflect and renew. To “sharpen the saw,” as author Stephen R. Covey wrote. With margin we can rise up and view things with perspective. We can reactivate our creativity and wisdom.

When we have breathing room, we can start to see where we’re going wrong—where we’re shooting ourselves in the foot with dysfunctional behaviors. We begin to see the possibilities for change.

Without margin, we keep our heads down and keep ploughing forward, stuck in the same traps and not even admitting it to ourselves. Sometimes we’re too busy and distracted to notice.

What to do with the margin we carve out in our lives? With it, we can:

reflect on what’s important
assess how things are going
see if there’s a gap between the life we have and the life we want
consider new ideas for closing that gap
experience mindful living in the present, without fretting about the past or worrying about the future

Why Is Having Margin in Life So Hard?

It sounds simple enough, but it’s not an easy feat in today’s world of dizzying distractions and cunning algorithms designed to hijack our attention with chemical manipulations in our brains. At bottom, they’re not giving us a better life but an escape from it.

“It’s a social-validation feedback loop. Exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
-Sean Parker, first president of Facebook and co-founder of Napster

The evidence is alarming. Average daily digital content consumption (including time spent on social media, news sites, and streaming) is now just under seven hours (six hours and 59 minutes), according to a recent Forbes report.

This can lead to what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “psychic entropy,” a condition of inner disorder in the mind, often including a chaotic mental review of things that impairs our effectiveness. He writes that it “involves seeing more to do than one can actually accomplish.”

It’s especially difficult if we’re trying to please everyone and not learning to set boundaries and say no—a big challenge for some people. In turn, this leads to us becoming overcommitted and falling into a death spiral of too much anxiety without the mental and emotional fortitude to deal with it and too much work volume without enough deep work to handle it.

“Slow down and remember this: Most things make no difference.
Being busy is a form of mental laziness—lazy thinking and indiscriminate action.”
–Tim Ferriss, author and podcaster

For some, a compulsion to achieve, win, or achieve recognition or status prevents us from carving out enough margin in our lives. This can lead to workaholism, a state of addiction to work in which we can’t switch it off or stop thinking about it. Another factor is being overly optimistic about what can get done by when—wearing “rose-colored glasses,” as they say.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

How to Get More Margin in Your Life

So, how to get more margin in our life? It helps to acknowledge the problem first, perhaps flowing from an assessment of how we’re spending our time and determining the areas in which it’s not time well spent. (Yes, there are apps for that.)

Perhaps most importantly, we must get clear on what’s important to us, starting with our values (what we value most in life—and the behaviors that manifest those things), purpose (our reason for being, or what infuses our life with meaning and significance), and aspirations for our life and work. Modern movements like essentialism and minimalism can help us avoid the trappings of overconsumption and overscheduling while distilling things to the essential few that enrich our lives.

It’s essential to establish clear and challenging criteria for what to say “yes” to and to get better at saying “no” to many things that come across the transom in our lives. As author Greg McKeown advises, “If it isn’t a clear yes, then it’s a clear no.”

Next, we need to build renewal into our days, giving us a sense of serenity instead of that precarious state of anxiety from the cumulative effects of overwork, stress, poor sleep, and not taking caring of ourselves or connecting enough with others. There are limits to our energy. We need good habits of rest and renewal.

“In life itself, there is a time to seek inner peace, a time to rid oneself of tension and anxiety. The moment comes when the striving must let up, when wisdom says, ‘Be quiet.’ You’ll be surprised how the world keeps on revolving without your pushing it. And you’ll be surprised how much stronger you are the next time you decide to push.”
-John W. Gardner

Even better if we can find “sanctuary” in our lives—places and practices of peace that restore our hearts. Places of quiet and tranquility. Beyond the striving, beyond the chase, beyond the willfulness, there’s an acceptance, a yielding, a comfort with the present moment and a willingness to see things for what they are and ride with the flow of life. It’s the serenity beyond the stress and struggle.

It helps to schedule margin into our lives: put it on our calendar and protect it. We must regain control of all the things that eat into margin, such as email or Slack, meetings, smartphones, interruptions, and messy workspaces. Also, we need to get better at anticipating and preventing distractions, thereby creating the conditions for focus, flow, and deep work.

We should also look for smaller things we can do—quick and easy hacks that help us preserve margin. In his book, Indistractable, Nir Eyal, recommends the “ten-minute rule”: waiting ten minutes before giving in to an urge to check our phone as a pacification device.

Reflection Questions

Do you have enough margin in your life?
How is lack of margin harming your wellbeing, relationships, or work?
What steps will you take, starting today, to reclaim your life and the margin it requires?

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment so you can discover your strongest areas and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.
Traps Test (Common Traps of Living) to help you identify what’s getting in the way of your happiness and quality of life
Personal Values Exercise to help you clarify what’s most important to you

Related Articles

Postscript: Inspirations to Help You Build More Margin in Life

“I love a broad margin to my life.” -Henry David Thoreau
Margin is “time to make room for change.” -Jeff Sapadafora, author and coach
“What do we want more of in life?… It’s not accomplishments. It’s not popularity. It’s moments when we feel like we are enough. More presence. More clarity. More insight. More truth. More stillness.” -Ryan Holiday, Stillness Is the Key
“Human beings have always employed an enormous amount of clever devices for running away from themselves, and the modern world is particularly rich in such stratagems. We can keep ourselves busy, fill our lives with so many diversions, stuff our heads with so much knowledge, involve ourselves with so many people and cover so much ground that we never have time to probe the fearful and wonderful world within. More often than not we don’t want to know ourselves, don’t want to depend on ourselves, don’t want to live with ourselves. By middle life, most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.” -John W. Gardner, Self-Renewal
“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” -Ovid
“All profound things, and emotions of things are preceded and attended by Silence…. Silence is the general consecreation of the universe.” -Herman Melville
“We should not hurry, we should not be impatient, but we should confidently obey the eternal rhythm.” -Nikos Kazantzakis, Zorba the Greek

Books that Will Help Change Your Life with More Margin

John W. Gardner, Self-Renewal
Cal Newport, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World
Nir Eyal, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life
Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
James Clear, Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!