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A Quick Relationship Checkup

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Article Summary: 

Many people struggle to maintain a strong relationship with their spouse or partner. This article offers practical insights to help you strengthen your bond and show up more intentionally—and a quick checkup tool.

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How is your relationship with your spouse or partner? When you hear the Righteous Brothers sing “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling,” does it ring true a little? Does it feel “gone, gone, gone”?

The quality of your closest relationships can have an enormous impact on your quality of life. A strong partnership can bring joy, support, and meaning, while a strained one can drain your energy and peace of mind.

Of course, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy or fulfilled. Many people thrive on their own or through other meaningful connections. But if you are with a spouse or partner, there’s almost always room to grow.

Here we explore the key areas to check in on, so you can quickly see how things are going and where a little extra attention might make a big difference.

 

1. Physical and Emotional Safety

At the foundation of every healthy relationship is safety—both physical and emotional. Without it, trust can’t grow and connection withers.

Ask yourself: Do you feel safe with your partner? Safe to be yourself? To speak up? Are there any places where you feel guarded, fearful, or silenced?

But this isn’t just about what you receive—it’s also about what you give. Ask yourself too: Does your partner feel safe with you? Do you create space for them to express themselves without judgment? Do you listen with respect, even when you disagree? Do you handle conflict respectfully and productively?

It’s about both of you showing up in ways that honor each other’s boundaries, well-being, and dignity. Without a strong and deep sense of safety, everything else feels precarious.

“Belonging begins with safety…. this is a place and a relationship where you feel safe enough to be the real you.”
-Jonathan Fields, How to Live a Good Life

 

2. Giving and Receiving Love

When you express love openly and received fully, connection deepens. When you don’t, misunderstandings and distance creep in.

Ask yourself: Do you feel loved and appreciated by your partner? Do they show care in ways that resonate with you—through words, actions, time, or affection? Are you open to receiving their love, or do you deflect it?

Now turn the mirror around: How are you showing love to your partner? Do you express it in ways that are meaningful to them, not just the ways that come naturally to you? (Check out Gary Chapman’s “five love languages” for an excellent resource.) Are you consistently letting them know how much they matter to you?

Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a practice that takes attention and effort from both of you. Love flows both ways in the healthiest relationships. If there’s an imbalance, see it as an invitation to talk about it and grow in how you give and receive love.

“Your goal is not to find love, but to remove all barriers which are preventing you from receiving it.”
-Rumi

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3. Honesty

Without honesty, trust erodes, a chasm emerges, and resentment creeps in.

Ask yourself: Are you confident that your partner is honest with you? Can you rely on their words and trust their actions? Do you believe they’re being genuine about who they are and what they feel?

Then consider the other side: Are you showing up with honesty? Do you tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable? Do you hide parts of yourself out of fear of judgment, or do you let your partner see the real you?

Honesty fosters safety, which you need for intimacy. When you’re both committed to truthfulness—spoken with kindness and respect—it helps your relationship deepen.

 

4. Trust

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It’s what lets you feel confident in your partner’s words and actions. It allows both of you to rely on each other without doubt or anxiety. Trust develops through consistent honesty, reliability, and mutual respect over time.

Ask yourself: Are you confident that you can truly rely on your partner? Do they follow through on their commitments? Are you convinced that they have your best interests at heart?

Now consider the other side: Are you trustworthy as a partner? Do you keep your promises and create a sense of dependability that your partner can count on? When you both actively nurture trust, small actions accumulate over time into a deep sense of security and connection.

“Trust is the glue of life. It is the most essential ingredient in effective communication.
It is the foundational principle that holds together all relationships.”
-Stephen R. Covey

 

5. Respect

When respect is present, communication is calmer, conflicts are more productive, and both partners feel seen and valued. Respect is about valuing your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and boundaries, even when you disagree.

Ask yourself: Do you feel respected by your partner? Do they listen to you, honor your boundaries, and treat you well?

Then flip it: Do you show respect to your partner? Do you listen actively, consider their perspective, validate their feelings, and honor their needs? Do you avoid dismissive or hurtful behaviors, even in moments of frustration?

Mutual respect strengthens connection and creates a safe space for you both to grow.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

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6. Mutual Support

Mutual support is about being there for each other during challenges, celebrating successes together, and creating an ironclad sense of togetherness and teamwork. When support flows both ways, it strengthens connection and helps you both feel understood and valued.

Ask yourself: Do you feel supported by your partner? Do they encourage you, listen when you need to talk, and step up when you need help?

Then consider the other side: Are you being a supportive partner? Do you notice when your partner needs encouragement, help, or someone to listen? And do you offer your time, attention, and care in ways that meet their needs?

When you both actively give and receive support, life’s challenges feel more manageable—and successes feel more meaningful.

 

7. Communication

Clear, open, and honest communication involves more than just talking. It’s also about listening, understanding, and expressing yourself in ways that build connection. Effective communication helps prevent misunderstandings, resolves conflicts, and deepens intimacy.

Ask yourself: Do you feel heard and understood? Do they take the time to listen and respond thoughtfully, even when topics are uncomfortable?

Now flip it: Are you communicating effectively? Do you listen without judgment, check for understanding, and express yourself honestly? Do you create space for dialogue rather than letting assumptions or frustration take over?

Strong communication nurtures trust, respect, and closeness.

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8. Openness

Openness means being willing to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences honestly. It’s about vulnerability, curiosity, and a willingness to grow together. Openness fosters understanding, intimacy, and a sense that you can truly be yourself with each other.

Ask yourself: Do you feel that your partner is open with you? Do they share their thoughts and feelings honestly, and are they willing to listen to yours without judgment?

Then reflect on your own role: Are you being open with your partner? Do you share what matters to you, express your needs, and let them see your true self?

Openness is a two-way street. When you both engage in honest and receptive communication, the relationship becomes stronger and more resilient.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.”
-Brene Brown, researcher and author

 

9. Appreciation

Regularly expressing appreciation is a simple but powerful—and often neglected—way to strengthen your relationship. When you notice and acknowledge the efforts, qualities, and actions of your partner, it reinforces their value and nurtures positive connection. Appreciation isn’t just about big gestures. Small, everyday acknowledgments add up to something powerful.

Ask yourself: Do you feel genuinely appreciated by your partner? Do they acknowledge the things you do and recognize the qualities they value in you?

Then reflect on your own role: Are you expressing appreciation to your partner consistently? Do you notice the little things they do and acknowledge them? Are you expressing your gratitude, or do you assume they know how you feel?

When you both make appreciation a habit, it strengthens your bond and fosters a more joyful, supportive relationship.

 

10. Affection

Affection is how you express love and show care in everyday life. It can be physical, like hugs or hand-holding. Or verbal, like compliments and encouragement. Regular expressions of affection help partners feel secure, valued, and connected.

Ask yourself: Do you feel affection from your partner in ways that matter to you? Do they make you feel seen, cared for, and loved on a regular basis?

Now consider your own role: Are you showing affection in ways that resonate with your partner? Do you express care, appreciation, and warmth consistently, both in words and actions?

Affection strengthens bonds and reinforces your love and sense of intimacy.

 

11. Intimacy

When you know someone deeply and feel safe with and accepted by that person, you can develop an intimate closeness. Intimacy can be not only physical but also emotional, mental, or even spiritual. Intimacy strengthens attachment and helps you both feel safe and valued.

Ask yourself: Do you feel close and connected to your partner? Can you share your vulnerabilities, dreams, and fears without judgment?

Then reflect on your own role: Are you creating space for intimacy? Do you listen deeply, respond with empathy, and share your authentic self? Do you nurture connection through small daily actions as well as deeper conversations?

 

12. Commitment

Commitment is the promise to show up for your partner hip over the long haul—even through difficulties. It gives your relationship stability. Commitment isn’t just about staying. It’s about actively investing in the relationship every day.

Ask yourself: Is your partner genuinely committed to your relationship? Do they prioritize it, even when life gets busy or stressful?

Then flip it: Are you fully committed to your partner and your relationship? Do you consistently invest time, energy, and care?

When you both show commitment, your relationship can strengthen and weather challenges over time.

 

13. Faithfulness

Faithfulness is about honoring the trust and exclusivity in your relationship. It’s not only about physical fidelity. It’s also about emotional and mental fidelity, being true to your commitments, and avoiding behaviors that could harm your partner or your bond. Faithfulness builds trust and a sense of security in your relationship.

Ask yourself: Do you feel that your partner is fully faithful to you—in thought, word, and action? Can you trust them completely to honor the boundaries and commitments you’ve agreed on?

Then reflect on your own role: Are you faithful in all aspects of your relationship? Do you act in ways that protect and strengthen your bond rather than undermine it? Are you worthy of the trust your partner has placed in you?

 

14. Healthy Conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how you handle it makes all the difference. Healthy conflict allows you both to express your needs, feelings, and perspectives without attacking, belittling, judging, or withdrawing. It’s not about avoiding disagreements. It’s about managing them in ways that strengthen understanding and connection.

Ask yourself: Do you feel that conflicts with your partner are handled respectfully and constructively? Can you disagree without fear of escalating into hurtful arguments, resentment, or contempt?

Then flip it: Do you approach disagreements with calm, respect, and a willingness to understand your partner’s point of view? Do you avoid blame, listen actively, and focus on finding solutions rather than trying to “win” the argument?

Learning to navigate disagreements with care is one of the most important skills for a lasting partnership. Poor conflict management skills destroy too many otherwise good relationships.

 

15. Fun

How’s the fun factor in your relationship? Are you laughing often? Enjoying activities together? Being silly with each other? The fun factor helps strengthen connection, reduce stress, and create lasting positive memories. Fun can reduce some of the heaviness and bring in levity, light, and joy.

Ask yourself: Do you have enough fun together? Are you finding moments to laugh, play, and simply enjoy each other’s company?

Then flip it: Are you bringing fun into the relationship? Do you make time for shared activities, lightheartedness, and spontaneity? How about laughter and play, even during busy or stressful times?

Prioritizing fun keeps your relationship vibrant and fosters intimacy.

 

Relationship Checkup

Take the relationship checkup below to get a quick sense of how you’re doing together.

📝 Relationship Checkup

Rate each area below:
1 = needs work | 2 = doing fine | 3 = doing great

  1. Physical and emotional safety
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  2. Giving and receiving love
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  3. Honesty
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  4. Trust
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  5. Respect
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  6. Mutual support
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  7. Communication
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  8. Openness
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  9. Appreciation
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  10. Affection
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  11. Intimacy
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  12. Commitment
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  13. Faithfulness
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  14. Healthy conflict
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great
  15. Fun
    1. needs work 2. doing fine 3. doing great

Be sure to celebrate what’s working and identify one or two areas you want to work on.

 

Conclusion

Taking the time to check in on your relationship is a powerful way to strengthen the bond with your partner and enhance your overall quality of life. Reflecting on areas like trust, communication, affection, and mutual support can reveal both what’s working well and where there’s room to grow. (And there’s always room to grow.)

Don’t expect perfection. Focus instead on awareness, intention, effort, and improvement. By honestly assessing how you and your partner show up for each other, and by taking small, consistent actions, you can nurture connection and deepen intimacy. By doing so, you can create a relationship that’s secure, joyful, and fulfilling.

Choose one area to focus on this week. What’s one meaningful step you’ll take today to strengthen your relationship and help it thrive?

Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles and Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Spouse or Partner and Quality of Life

  • “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through becoming the right mate.” -Rabbi Barnett Brickner
  • “Far too many people are looking for the right person instead of trying to be the right person.” -Gloria Steinem
  • “Feeling safe in someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy. That feeling of peace and protection is really underrated.” -Vanessa Klas
  • “A great relationship doesn’t happen because of the love you had in the beginning, but how well you continue building love until the end.” -Orebela Gbenga
  • “Trust is built in very small moments, which I call ‘sliding door’ moments. In any interaction, there is a possibility of connecting with your partner or turning away from your partner. One such moment is not important, but if you’re always choosing to turn away, then trust erodes in a relationship—very gradually, very slowly.” -John Gottman
  • “Love is an action. Never simply a feeling.” -bell hooks
  • “…even in stable, happy relationships: When conflict begins with hostility, defensive sequences result.” -John Gottman, The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
  • “For it is in loving, as well as in being loved, that we become most truly ourselves. No matter what we do, say, accomplish, or become, it is our capacity to love that ultimately defines us. In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another.” -Daphne Rose Kingma, psychotherapist
  • “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” -C.S. Lewis
  • “Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them.” -Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
  • “The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way.” -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” -Anaïs Nin
  • “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  • “There is no remedy for love but to love more.” -Henry David Thoreau
  • “…I deeply believe that the path to happiness in a relationship is not just about finding someone who you think is going to make you happy. Rather, the reverse is equally true: the path to happiness is about finding someone whose happiness is worth devoting yourself to.” -Clayton Christensen, How Will You Measure Your Life?
  • “You can spend a lifetime being curious about the inner world of your partner, and being brave enough to share your own inner world, and never be done discovering all there is to know about each other. It’s exciting.” -John Gottman, psychologist
“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.” -Liz Mineo, Harvard Gazette, April 11, 2017 (summarizing the findings of the Grant Study of Adult Development)
“Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She’ll beat you if she’s able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can’t get

Desperado, oh, you ain’t gettin’ no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin’ you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that’s just some people talkin’
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don’t your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine
It’s hard to tell the night time from the day
You’re losin’ all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
You better let somebody love you, before it’s too late”
-excerpts from the song “Desperado” by The Eagles

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Health and Vitality: Keys to Your Quality of Life

by

Article Summary: 

Without health and vitality, even success and good relationships can feel empty, as stress, fatigue, or poor habits drain your joy and resilience. This article guides you through the 12 most important elements of physical and mental well-being—like nutrition, sleep, exercise, mindfulness, and resilience—so you can identify gaps, take practical steps, and build a foundation for thriving in life.

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You want to live a good life and you want to do well at work, but without health and vitality, everything else suffers. You can achieve success and build healthy relationships, but if your body is run-down or your mind is frequently stressed, it all feels hollow. Health and vitality are the foundation that everything else rests upon. They determine how much energy you bring to each day, how resilient you are in the face of challenges, and how much joy you can experience in the moments that matter most.

Here we explore the 12 most important components of health and vitality, including both physical and mental health. Together, these elements help you thrive. By taking stock of each one, you’ll gain a clearer sense of where you’re strong and where you need work.

 

1. Nutrition

Are you eating well and drinking enough water? Nutrition is a cornerstone of health and vitality. It influences your energy levels, mood, cognitive performance, and overall well-being. Proper nutrition can also have a big impact on heart health, blood pressure, immune system, mental clarity, sexual function, and longevity. Poor nutrition is a leading cause of premature death and disability, according to Dr. Michael Greger’s research. To help you make better dietary choices, check out the “Healthy Eating Plate” from Harvard researchers. (See my article, “Good Nutrition for Health and Wellness.”)

What will you do to improve your nutrition and hydration?

 

2. Sleep

Are you getting enough high-quality sleep? Sleep is a cornerstone of health and vitality, yet it’s often the most overlooked aspect of well-being. Quality sleep has a profound impact on your cognitive function, emotional regulation, and physical health. It’s an active process that rejuvenates the body and mind, preparing you for the challenges of the day ahead. Poor sleep can lead to impaired memory, mood disturbances, and decreased productivity. Practical strategies include establishing a consistent sleep schedule, creating a calm and restful sleep sanctuary, and stopping your screen time well before bedtime. (For more: “Great Sleep for Health, Wellness, and Great Work.”)

What will you do to improve your sleep quality?

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3. Exercise

Do you move your body and exercise often and well enough? Exercise is a cornerstone of health and vitality, influencing nearly every aspect of your well-being. From enhancing mood and mental clarity to boosting energy levels and longevity, exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread positive changes. Incorporating movement into your daily routine can lead to improved cognitive function, better sleep quality, and lower risk of chronic diseases. The key is consistency and finding a routine that fits well with your lifestyle. (More here: “Exercise and Movement for Health, Wellness, and Great Work.”)

What will you do to move your body more and improve your exercise habits?

 

4. Strength

Do you feel strong and powerful? Strength is a cornerstone of your physical vitality. When you build and maintain muscle, you’re not just improving your appearance—you’re giving yourself the ability to handle life’s demands. Consistency matters more than intensity at first. Start small and build gradually. Focus on all major muscle groups, including your core. Pair your training with proper recovery—including rest days, stretching, and adequate protein—to let your muscles repair and grow. Strength training also protects your bones, boosts your metabolism, and improves posture, making it one of the best investments you can make in your long-term health and vitality.

What will you do to develop your strength?

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

5. Flexibility

Are you flexible and able to navigate physical activities with a good range of movement?

Flexibility is often overlooked, but it plays a vital role in your health. When your muscles and joints move freely, you reduce the risk of injury, improve posture, and make everyday movements like bending, reaching, or twisting easier and more comfortable. You can enhance your flexibility through regular stretching, yoga, or mobility exercises, focusing on all major muscle groups and joints. Even just a few minutes each day of dynamic stretches or gentle movement can maintain or increase your range of motion. Flexibility also complements strength and endurance, helping your body move efficiently and recover more quickly after physical activity.

What will you do to enhance your flexibility?

 

6. Energy

How are your energy levels? Maintaining a good energy level is essential for living a vibrant, fulfilling life. Your energy fuels everything you do—from work and exercise to hobbies and family time. To keep your energy high, focus on foundational habits like getting adequate sleep, staying hydrated, eating well, and moving your body regularly. Avoid long periods of sedentary behavior and manage your stress, because mental fatigue can drain your vitality just as much as physical exertion. Small practices—like taking short breaks throughout the day and practicing deep breathing—can make a big difference. When you intentionally cultivate and protect your energy, you ensure that you have the capacity to do the things you want to do.

What will you do to develop and maintain high energy levels?

 

7. Endurance

Are you able to continue expending effort despite fatigue or stress? Building stamina allows you to engage in physical activity longer, recover faster, and handle daily demands without feeling exhausted. You can improve endurance through aerobic exercises like running, cycling, swimming, brisk walking, and dancing. Combining cardiovascular training with strength exercises enhances overall stamina, while proper nutrition, hydration, and rest ensure your body has the fuel and recovery it needs. By investing in endurance, you not only improve your physical capacity but also boost your mental resilience and energy levels.

What will you do to boost your endurance?

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8. Mindfulness

Are you able to focus your awareness on the present moment and calmly acknowledge and accept your thoughts and feelings? Mindfulness is a cornerstone of mental clarity and emotional resilience. In our fast-paced world, many of us grapple with stress, anxiety, and a constant barrage of thoughts (i.e., “monkey mind”). This mental chatter can disrupt focus, elevate stress levels, and hinder your ability to be present. Mindfulness can help train your mind to become more present, focused, and still.

Practicing mindfulness can significantly enhance your mental well-being. It helps quiet the mind, reduce stress, and improve emotional regulation. By engaging in mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to the present moment, you can develop a deeper connection with yourself and your surroundings. (For more: “Why We Need Meditation and Mindfulness Now More than Ever.”)

What will you do to enhance your mindfulness?

 

9. Emotional Calm

Do you have peace of mind and a sense of inner calm on a regular basis? Emotional calm is a vital part of your mental health and greatly influences your overall vitality. When you cultivate a sense of calm, you reduce stress, make better decisions, and experience more clarity and focus. Simple practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling can help you manage emotional turbulence and create inner stillness. Regularly checking in with yourself, setting boundaries, and prioritizing restorative activities like time in nature, hobbies, or connecting with supportive people all contribute to your emotional equilibrium. By nurturing emotional calm, you create mental space and energy to thrive in your life.

What will you do to bring more emotional calm into your life?

 

10. Relaxation

Do you take enough time to relax during your days? Relaxation is essential for your health and vitality. Giving your mind and body intentional downtime helps reduce stress hormones, lowers blood pressure, and restores energy so you can function at your best. You can relax through activities like listening to music, reading, stretching, practicing gentle breathing, or just pausing and looking out at the horizon. When you take time to recharge, it makes a big difference.

What will you do to relax more?

 

11. Resilience

Do you maintain a regular and robust ability to adapt and recover in the face of adversity? In challenging times, resilience enables you to navigate stress, uncertainty, and setbacks without losing your sense of purpose or well-being. According to Tony Schwartz of The Energy Project, there are three pillars of resilience: self-awareness (identifying what you’re feeling), self-regulation (calming yourself in the face of anxiety, anger, or fear), and self-care (taking good care of yourself and maintaining your energy reserves).

What will you do to enhance your resilience?

 

12. Self-Care

Do you engage in regular self-care practices that replenish your energy and help you cope with hard times? This can include taking regular breaks, exercising, eating well, engaging in hobbies, and having places or practices of sanctuary that bring you peace. By building these things into the fabric of your days, you can build a strong and durable foundation that supports and sustains your health and vitality, even in difficult times.

What will you do to take even better care of yourself going forward?

 

Conclusion

Health and vitality aren’t luxuries. They’re the foundation of a good life. Without them, everything else becomes harder and less fulfilling, no matter how much success you have in other areas. By investing in your physical and mental well-being, you give yourself the capacity to thrive.

Choose one area to strengthen today and watch how it lifts the rest of your life. Focus on progress, not perfection. The more you invest in your health and vitality, the more fully you’ll be able to live, love, and lead.

Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles

 

Appendix: Safety

You can’t get very far with any of the elements above if you don’t feel safe. With health and vitality, safety is the foundation. If you don’t feel safe, everything else takes a back seat, because your mind and body remain on high alert. Pay attention to both physical and digital safety. What will you do to protect and maintain your safety?

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Health and Vitality and Quality of Life

  • “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” -Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Happiness lies first of all in health.” -George William Curtis
  • “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” -Ann Wigmore, holistic health practitioner
  • “Any food that requires enhancing by the use of chemical substances should in no way be considered a food.” -John H. Tobe, researcher, naturalist, and author
  • “Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness.” -Joseph Pilates, German-born physical trainer, writer, and inventor
  • “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” -Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and author
  • “Good things come to those who sweat.” -unknown
  • “Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do. Not a punishment for what you ate.” -anonymous
  • “When it comes to health and well-being, regular exercise is about as close to a magic potion as you can get.” -Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk
  • “If you don’t make time for exercise, you’ll probably have to make time for illness.” -Robin Sharma, Canadian lawyer turned writer
  • “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” -John F. Kennedy, former U.S. president
  • “Exercise is amazing, from the inside out. I feel so alive and have more energy.” -Vanessa Hudgens, actor and singer
  • “Sustained high achievement demands physical and emotional strength as well as a sharp intellect. To bring mind, body, and spirit to peak condition, executives need to learn what world-class athletes already know: recovering energy is as important is expending it…. When people feel strong and resilient—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—they perform better, with more passion, for longer. They win, their families win, and the corporations that employ them win.” -Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, “The Making of a Corporate Athlete,” Harvard Business Review
  • “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit…?… honor God with your bodies.” -1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
  • “Sleep is a necessary part of life, though most of us scrape by with as little as possible…. It turns out that sleep can make or break your ability to lose weight, age slowly, prevent cancer, and perform at a high level.” -Dr. Sara Gottfried, physician-scientist
  • “Proper sleep has helped me get to where I am today as an athlete, and it is something that I continue to rely on every day.” -Tom Brady, American football quarterback and champion
  • “Tired officers are always pessimists.” -General George S. Patton, U.S. Army General
  • “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” -Vince Lombardi, legendary football coach

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Elevate Your Life with a Strong Personal Core

by

Article Summary: 

We all want to have a good quality of life but too often we don’t know how to get it, especially given the demands we face. Here we identify how you can elevate your quality of life with a strong personal core, a foundation that includes contentment, happiness, meaning, gratitude, and more.

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In a world full of pressure and constant change, it’s easy to get pulled in a dozen directions—reacting to demands and losing sight of what truly matters. Without a strong personal core, you risk drifting or living by someone else’s script. But when you anchor your life in clarity about who you are, what you value, and what gives you meaning, you can elevate your quality of life.

Here are nine building blocks of a strong personal core:

 

Contentment

Do you have a sense of peace and satisfaction that comes from appreciating what you have in the present moment? A calm confidence that your life, as it is right now, has value and meaning?

Contentment grounds you in the present, helping you savor life rather than merely chase what’s next. When you cultivate contentment, you reduce inner friction, judgment, and comparison, creating space for gratitude, joy, and authentic living. It stabilizes your emotional foundation, allowing you to pursue purpose and growth from a place of ease rather than restlessness or neediness.

What will you do to bring more contentment into your life?

 

Happiness

Do you have a genuine and strong sense of wellbeing and contentment that comes from feeling at ease with yourself and your life? A deep, enduring satisfaction and joy?

Happiness is an essential part of your personal core because it acts as both a compass and a fuel. When you cultivate it, you create a foundation for making choices that honor your core values, deepen your connections, and bring meaning to your life. Without nurturing happiness, other aspects of your personal core can feel harder to access. (See my article, “What Leads to Happiness?”)

Happiness is “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” -Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California, Riverside psychologist and happiness researcher

What will you do to bring more happiness into your life?

 

Meaning

Do you have a strong and deep sense that your life has significance—that your actions and experiences contribute to something larger than yourself?

“Meaning in life refers to the feeling that people have that their lives and experience make sense and matter.”
-Dr. Michael Steger, Colorado State University

Meaning can give you direction and motivation. When you cultivate meaning, even challenges and setbacks can feel purposeful. Your daily actions gain coherence and richness. It acts as a guiding star, helping you prioritize what truly matters and live a life that’s aligned, intentional, and fulfilling.

What will you do to infuse your life with more meaning?

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Fulfillment

Do you have an enduring feeling of pleasure and satisfaction because you’re happy with your life? A sense that your life has been what you’ve expected or hoped for, even despite adversity?

When you cultivate fulfillment, you experience a lasting sense of accomplishment and direction that goes beyond fleeting success or external validation. It helps you make choices that honor your deepest priorities and live a life that feels harmonious, whole, and true.

What will you do to bring more fulfillment into your life?

 

Quality of Life

Taking stock of your quality of life regularly helps to brings clarity and intentionality to your journey. By evaluating key areas such as health, relationships, work, and personal growth, you can identify where you’re thriving and where you need to direct your attention.

This process is about awareness and action, not perfection. It helps you recognize patterns, celebrate wins, and address areas that are holding you back. Regularly assessing your quality of life empowers you to make informed choices, set relevant goals, and live with purpose and fulfillment. (See my article, “Taking Stock of Your Quality of Life.”)

What will you do to ensure you maintain a good quality of life?

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Joy

Joy is the feeling of lightness, delight, and exuberance that bubbles up when you engage with life in a way that resonates with your authentic essence. It’s more than happiness—it’s a deep, often spontaneous sense of aliveness and appreciation that energizes your mind, body, and spirit.

Joy summons the pleasures of living fully. When you nurture joy, you immerse yourself in the present moment and make it easier to approach challenges with optimism. It’s a spark that animates your purpose and deepens your relationships.

What will you do to bring more joy into your life?

 

Gratitude

Do you have a practice of noticing and appreciating the positive aspects of your life—both big and small? A mindset that helps you recognize and appreciate the value in experiences, relationships, and even challenges that help you grow?

Gratitude shifts your focus from what you’re missing to what you have. When you cultivate gratitude, you create the conditions for contentment and joy. (See my article, “20 Benefits of Gratitude.”)

What will you do to be thankful for what you have and keep a grateful heart?

 

Authentic Alignment

Are you living in “authentic alignment,” in which you’re being true to yourself and there’s a good fit between who you really are and how you live? Is there a good match between your inner world of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams and the outer world of what you’re doing in your home, workplace, and community? This alignment fosters a sense of integrity and coherence, allowing you to thrive mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Authentic alignment anchors you in your true self. When you’re aligned, you’re more likely to experience clarity, conviction, and contentment. Conversely, misalignment can lead to feelings of inauthenticity, anxiety, and disconnection. This can come from the traps of conformity, comparison, people-pleasing, and caring too much about what other people think. (See my article, “The Power of Authentic Alignment in Your Life.”)

What will you do to live a life of authentic alignment?

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

Spirituality

Are you cultivating a deeper connection to something greater than yourself? Engaged with matters of the human spirit or soul, as opposed to becoming overly consumed with material or physical things? Are you exploring life’s deeper questions and seeking alignment with your inner values and beliefs? Spirituality can manifest through practices like prayer, meditation, nature immersion, or acts of compassion, and it often involves a sense of transcendence.

Spirituality provides a sense of meaning, especially during challenging times. By nurturing your spiritual life, you can experience greater inner peace, resilience, and a deeper understanding of your place in the universe. It helps you transcend the ego and material distractions, fostering a life that is more intentional, connected, and fulfilling. For many people, spirituality is a lived practice—often experienced in community—rooted in connection, reflection, and shared meaning. It can involve surrendering to a higher power and embracing the gifts of forgiveness, redemption, and grace, creating space for healing and renewal. (See my article, “On Spirituality and the Good Life.”)

What will you do to nurture your spiritual life?

 

Conclusion

You don’t build a strong personal core overnight. You cultivate it over time through small, consistent choices that honor what matters most. It’s about nurturing contentment, happiness, and joy; fostering meaning; checking in on the quality of your life; practicing gratitude; embodying authentic alignment; and deepening your spirituality.

In our busy and noisy modern world, this work can feel challenging, but it’s well worth it. Give yourself grace along the way, and remember: even amid life’s pressures, a strong core will help elevate your life.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Personal Core and Quality of Life

  • “Let us consider the way in which we spend our lives.” -Henry David Thoreau
  • “Every day we have decisions to make about how we want to live…. We must take charge of how we spend our days…. Otherwise, we may one day wake up to find ourselves brilliantly situated for a life we do not want.” -Christopher Gergen and Gregg Vanourek in LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives
  • “Life goes by so very fast, my dears, and taking the time to reflect, even once a year, slows things down. We zoom past so many seconds, minutes, hours, killing them with the frantic way we live that it’s important we take at least this one collective sigh and stop, take stock, and acknowledge our place in time before diving back into the melee.” -Hillary DePiano, New Year’s Thieve
  • “Think about the metric by which your life will be judged, and make a resolution to live every day so that in the end, your life will be judged a success.” -Clayton Christensen

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!