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Are You Serving Enough Every Day?

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Article Summary: 

Many people feel overwhelmed by the busyness of life and suspect they could be serving others much more. This blog offers a quick way to evaluate how much you’re serving in your daily life, along with practical ways to serve more.

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Every day, you see challenges all around you—not just in the headlines but among your own family, friends, and colleagues. Relationship and health challenges. Stress, loneliness, and loss. Beyond that, you see larger challenges like poverty, crime, and school shootings. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or too busy to help.

But you’re wise to pause and ask:

Are you weaving service into your daily life—in your relationships, at work, in your community?

When you do, you can make a difference while enriching your own sense of purpose and wellbeing.

 

Serving People at Home

There are many ways to serve the people closest to you: your family, friends, neighbors, and classmates. It can be through small acts of kindness and caring. Or by guiding, teaching, coaching, or mentoring others.

You can serve by offering emotional support—being a good listener, an encourager, or a rock for someone in pain. Or welcoming new neighbors, hosting them for a meal, and including them in local activities. Ask yourself:

  • In what ways am I showing up for the people around me?
  • Do I consistently show kindness to those around me—my family, friends, and neighbors?
  • Am I taking opportunities to mentor, guide, teach, or support others when I can?
  • Do people see me as a good listener and a source of encouragement?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Serving People at Work

Service shouldn’t stop at home. At work, you can serve your colleagues, customers, partners, and/or vendors in many ways. Sometimes it’s through acts of kindness—a friendly check-in or a word of thanks. Other times it’s by coaching or mentoring, whether formally through a program or informally over coffee. By actively sharing knowledge, offering help, and removing roadblocks, you can support your team members’ success and contribute to a healthier organizational culture.

Service at work also involves emotional support: listening well, cheering people on, or helping those who are stressed or struggling. It can be welcoming new colleagues, making sure they feel included in meetings and social events. And it can involve using your creative talents to uplift others—or offering pro bono professional services to people or causes that need them. Ask yourself:

  • To what extent am I showing kindness in my interactions at work?
  • Do I look for ways to guide, mentor, coach, or support others?
  • Am I actively supporting my teammates’ success, not just my own?
  • Do I provide encouragement and emotional support to colleagues who need it?
  • How do I welcome and include new people on the team?
  • What am I doing to contribute to a positive workplace culture?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Serving People You Come Across in Your Everyday Life

Opportunities to serve also arise every day in small, ordinary interactions with strangers. Think of the people you meet on the street, at the coffee shop, in stores, or at restaurants. Contributing here can be through simple gestures: holding a door open, smiling, thanking, being patient when things take longer than expected, or showing support to someone who’s having a bad day. Ask yourself:

  • How do I treat the people I meet in passing—cashiers, baristas, delivery drivers, and others?
  • Am I consistent in showing politeness, patience, and gratitude even when I’m rushed or stressed?
  • Do I look for small ways to make someone’s day better, like a smile or a kind word?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Contributing to Places

Another way to serve is by contributing to the places and institutions that shape your life—schools, neighborhoods, faith communities, or your nation. You might donate resources or volunteer for a project. Or follow local and national issues and vote.

You can attend school board meetings, town halls, or online forums where decisions are made. Ask yourself:

  • How well am I supporting the institutions and communities that matter to me?
  • Do I regularly give time, talent, or resources to places that align with my values?
  • Am I engaged in civic life—voting, attending meetings, or participating in discussions that shape my community?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Contributing to Causes or Issues

You can also make a difference by contributing to larger issues or causes that matter to you—such as healthcare, poverty, mental health, or the environment. You might donate to organizations addressing these challenges. Or volunteer at their events.

You can also use your voice and influence. This might include speaking up for people or causes that need support, raising awareness among your friends, or calling for change through letters or petitions. Ask yourself:

  • Am I giving my time, resources, or talents to organizations working on the issues that matter most to me?
  • How well am I using my voice to speak up for people or causes that need support?
  • Am I helping to raise awareness or call for change in ways that are respectful, constructive, and effective?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Pro Tip: Build Your Service around These Three Things

One of the most fulfilling ways to serve is to align your contributions with what you’re naturally good at, what excites you, and what you care about. When you build your service around your strengths, passions, and values, it feels less like an obligation and more like an expression of who you are. You bring more energy, skill, and authenticity to what you’re doing—and the people you serve feel that.

Start by reflecting on your apex abilities. Are you a great listener, an organizer, a creative thinker, a connector? Someone who brings calm in a crisis? Think about the activities or causes that light you up. And then consider your core values: what matters most to you, the beliefs and principles you aspire to stand for. Ask yourself:

  • Which of my strengths can I use to serve others more effectively?
  • What causes or activities energize me?
  • How do my values inform who I want to serve or the way I want to contribute?
  • Where do my strengths, passions, and values overlap with real needs in my community or the world?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

“Pervasive Service”

At its best, service isn’t something you do occasionally. It’s a defining feature of your life. In our book, LIFE Entrepreneurs, we called this “pervasive service.” When you embrace service as a guiding principle, it shapes your relationships, work, and daily actions. It becomes a lens through which you view opportunities, a habit that directs your choices, and a rhythm that carries you through life. Service, in this sense, isn’t a box to check or a compartmentalized activity. It’s woven into the fabric of your life.

Pervasive service means approaching each day with intentionality and being ready to grasp opportunities to make a difference. By making service a central tenet of your life, you can live more purposefully and joyfully—and watch as these daily actions add up to something extraordinary over time.

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Conclusion: Commit to Serving More

Serving others isn’t just a lofty ideal. It’s something you can do every day, and it’s a gateway to a richer, more meaningful life.

Look at the different ways you’re already serving and consider where you might do more. Seek opportunities in your daily life, at work, in your community, and even in small everyday interactions. Remember, service doesn’t have to be grand to matter. Small, consistent acts of service ripple outward.

Anchor your service in your strengths, passions, and values. When your service aligns with who you are and what you care about most, it becomes more sustainable, impactful, and joyful.

The world needs people who not only care but act on their convictions. People who live and lead with heart. Here’s to serving more.
–Gregg

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles & Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Service

  • “I don’t think there’s anything as wonderful in life as being able to help someone else.” -Betty Ford
  • “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” -Mahatma Gandhi
  • “When you feel sad, serve.” -unknown
  • “…if you’re hurting, you need to help somebody ease their hurt. If you’re in pain, help somebody else’s pain. And when you’re in a mess, you get yourself out of the mess helping somebody out of theirs. And in the process, you get to become a member of what I call the greatest fellowship of all, the sorority of compassion and the fraternity of service.” -Oprah Winfrey
  • “There are occasions and opportunities for service that will vary throughout anyone’s life. The initial gate is that you understand that that’s a piece of being a full person. It’s a matter of saying yes to the opportunity when it appropriately appears. Every day is a preparation for serving something.” -Buie Seawell, attorney and professor
  • “Life’s most urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” -Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “It is high time the ideal of success should be replaced with the ideal of service.” -Albert Einstein
  • “Service is the very purpose of life. It is the rent we pay for living on the planet.” -Marian Wright Edelman, activist
  • “…the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” -Albert Schweitzer
  • “…when you choose the paradigm of service, looking at life through that paradigm, it turns everything you do from a job into a gift.” -Oprah Winfrey
“Not everybody can be famous. But everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato or Aristotle to serve. You don’t have to know Einstein’s theory of relativity to serve. You don’t have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace and a soul generated by love.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Rating Your Job: A Work Satisfaction Checkup

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Article Summary: 

Many people spend a huge portion of their lives at work, yet often struggle with bad bosses, unsupportive workplaces, or jobs that leave them drained. This work satisfaction checkup helps you rate your job so you can identify needed changes. If you’re wondering ‘How do I rate my job?’ this checklist can help.

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You probably spend much of your life at work. The quality of your work life can deeply affect your mental health, growth, happiness, energy, sense of meaning, and overall life satisfaction.

“Hundreds of studies have shown that job satisfaction and life satisfaction are positively related, and causal:
liking your job causes you to be happier all around.”
-Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, Build the Life You Want:
The Art and Science of Getting Happier

Unfortunately, many people work for bad bosses or labor in lame workplaces. According to Gallup, employee engagement hit a 10-year low in 2024.

“The way we’re working isn’t working.”
-Tony Schwartz, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working
“Every worker needs to escape the wrong job.”
-Peter Drucker
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that.
It’s called EVERYBODY and they meet at the bar.”
-George Carlin, comedian

Here’s a quick checkup to help you see how things are going with your work—and where some extra attention could make a big difference.

 

Work Satisfaction Checkup: Rating Your Job

Review the factors below and rate them using the scale provided.

 

Work Environment

Do you feel safe and supported in your workspace, both physically and psychologically? Are the work site, tools, and resources conducive to your best work? Are you free from hazards, exploitation, bullying, and abuse?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Workload

Do you have a reasonable and manageable workload that allows you to do your work without constant or excessive stress or burnout—and without harming your health and personal life? Are expectations realistic and deadlines achievable? Do you have clear visibility into your obligations and schedule so you can plan effectively?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Compensation*

Are you paid fairly for what you do, taking into account your skill level, responsibilities, peers, industry benchmarks, cost of living in your area, and the value of your contributions? Is the pay structure transparent and predictable, with clear opportunities for increases over time? Does your total compensation—including bonuses, incentives, or other rewards—accurately reflect your impact and results?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Benefits

Are the workplace benefits (health insurance, retirement plans, time off, etc.) sufficient and helpful to your well‐being? Do they support your life beyond work (family, health, rest, etc.)? Are they appropriate for your industry, sector, and geographic area?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Manager

Does your manager treat you fairly and with respect? Do they set clear expectations and communicate effectively? Are they reasonable in their demands and supportive of your growth and wellbeing? Do you feel comfortable bringing up concerns and confident that they’ll listen and respond appropriately?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Surveys show that one in two people at some point in their careers
have left their job to get away from their managers.”
-Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge

 

Flexibility

Do you have flexibility in how, when, or where you work (e.g., scheduling, remote/hybrid options)? Does the job allow you to balance work and personal life? Are you able to adjust your workload or schedule when unexpected demands arise?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Fairness

Are you treated fairly when it comes to expectations, opportunities, and rewards? Are expectations clear? Is decision-making transparent and just? Does the organization avoid discrimination and bias in all forms? Do policies, promotions, and recognition apply consistently across teams and roles?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Engagement

Do you feel invested in your work? Are you energized by your role rather than feeling drained or disengaged? Do you feel connected to your team, your manager, and the organization’s purpose and vision? Are your skills and strengths being put to use effectively?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Autonomy

Do you have enough freedom to decide how you approach your work and set priorities? Are you trusted to make your own decisions on many aspects of your job without excessive oversight? Are you adequately involved in shaping your tasks, methods, or schedule in ways that help you do your best work?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Opportunity for Advancement

Is there a clear path for you to take on greater responsibility or move up the organizational ladder? Do you see possibilities for role expansion or promotion? Are advancement opportunities based on merit and performance, and communicated transparently? Do you feel supported by your manager and organization in preparing for the next step in your career?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Learning and Growth

Are there chances to develop new skills, gain knowledge, get high-quality feedback regularly, and try things and learn from mistakes? Does your organization provide sufficient training opportunities, and does your work stretch you (in a good way)? Does your work contribute to your personal growth? And does your manager encourage and support your development?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Opportunity for Achievement

Are you able to work toward excellence and mastery? Do you have goals to strive for? Do you receive feedback that helps you recognize your progress and identify ways to improve?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“The secret of joy in work is contained in one word—excellence.
To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.”
-Pearl S. Buck

 

Contribution

Does your work allow you to serve and contribute in ways that matter—to your team, organization, clients, and/or society? Do you feel your efforts make a tangible difference? Are you given opportunities to share ideas, take initiative, and have an impact beyond your core responsibilities?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Use of Strengths

Are you able to use your strengths (the things at which you most excel) in your work regularly? Do your tasks align with what energizes you and allows you to shine? Are you encouraged to leverage your unique skills to solve problems, lead initiatives, or contribute in other ways?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Progress on Meaningful Work

Do you have opportunities to get involved in projects that feel meaningful to you—aligned with your core values, worthy challenges, or something you care about? Are you able to make progress on them (not stuck in “busywork”)? Does your organization’s work serve a larger purpose?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”
-Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins,” Harvard Business Review, May 2011

 

Belonging

Do you feel part of the team? At work, do you feel that your manager and colleagues care about you? Do you feel accepted, included, and respected by your colleagues and managers? And do you have a network of supportive and reliable colleagues?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Recognition

When you and your colleagues do good work, is it noticed? Do you receive appreciation and recognition that acknowledges your contributions? Is recognition timely, specific, and meaningful? Do you feel valued not just for outcomes, but also for effort, initiative, creativity, and collaboration?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Trust

Is there a high level of mutual trust between you and your peers, your boss, and others throughout your organization? Do you feel you can rely on others—and that they can rely on you? Are people honest, transparent, and consistent in their words and actions? Do you feel safe speaking up, sharing ideas, or admitting mistakes without fear of negative consequences?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“…trust is the most significant predictor of individuals’ satisfaction within their organizations.”
-James Kouzes and Barry Posner

 

Values Fit

Are you asked to compromise on your values or beliefs? Does your work—and your organization’s purpose, values, vision, culture, and priorities—align with what matters to you? Do you feel proud of the work you do and the impact it has? Does your organization’s behavior match its stated values?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“I had chosen to use my work as a reflection of my values.”
-Sidney Poitier, actor, director, and activist

 

Enjoyment

Do you enjoy going to work and doing what you do? Are there enough moments of fun, humor, satisfaction, and flow? Do you feel energized by your work day rather than drained? Are there aspects of your role that make you look forward to contributing and collaborating with others?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.”
-Warren Buffett

 

What to Do with this Work Satisfaction Checkup

Here are tips on ways you can get the most out of this process for rating your job.

Celebrate: Identify and celebrate the areas you rated yourself as “thriving.” Also, think about what conditions make them possible so you can build more of them.

Assess the Big Picture. Look at your evaluation as a whole. Determine whether your workplace is good enough overall that it’s worth staying and trying to improve things, or if it has too many systemic problems that would be difficult or slow to fix. This can help you decide whether to invest in making changes where you are or to look for opportunities elsewhere. (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

Identify Growth Areas: Pick one or two areas where you feel you need the most work, given the lower rating and the relative importance to you. (But don’t choose more than one or two to address initially. There’s great power in focus.)

Brainstorm Small Action Steps: For each of those areas, what’s one concrete thing you could do about it? Examples:

  • Ask your manager for input, feedback, and/or career development support.
  • Propose a new project that aligns with your strengths, passions, and values.
  • Ask your manager for more flexibility or a schedule adjustment while noting specifically how you’ll be able to support your team, meet your responsibilities, and achieve your performance goals.

Hold Yourself Accountable: Revisit this work satisfaction checkup in a few months to see what’s improved. Share your plans with a trusted colleague, mentor, or friend and ask them to check in with you about it in a set period of time (e.g., three months).

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Caution: Avoid the Danger of Passivity and Cynicism

It’s easy to fall into the habit of complaining about what’s wrong at work, ruminating on your frustrations, or assuming you can’t change things. But passivity and cynicism can quietly erode your motivation and capacity. Remember: you have agency.

Yes, the current job market is challenging, making it hard for many people to leave difficult jobs. Not everyone has the privilege of plentiful options or the freedom to walk away. And yet, even in challenging circumstances, it’s important not to slip into inertia or resignation.

You often have more control and influence over your work life than you realize—whether through proactive conversations, small improvements, or reframing how you approach your role. Or your mindset. Consider “job crafting”: intentionally shaping your tasks, relationships, and perceptions at work to better align with your strengths, passions, and values. Taking proactive steps gives you a sense of control and can dramatically enhance your work life.

 

Conclusion

Doing well at work isn’t just about salary, success, prestige, or “climbing the ladder.” It’s also about feeling valued, engaged, and aligned. About growing and contributing. And enjoying the ride.

Use this work satisfaction checkup as a mirror: not to shame you, but to guide your awareness and stimulate purposeful and focused action. Small actions—taken consistently over time—can boost the quality of your work life dramatically.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles & Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Work Satisfaction and Rating Your Job

  • “…the problem isn’t how hard you’re working, it’s that you’re working on things that aren’t right for you. Your goals and motivations aren’t harmonizing with your deepest truth.” -Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity
  • “Being good at whatever we want to do—playing the violin, running a race, painting a picture, leading a group of people—is among the deepest sources of fulfillment we will ever know.” Geoff Colvin, Talent Is Overrated
  • “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey
  • “We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
  • “People in organizations are primarily looking for meaning in their work. But not many leaders act as though they believe that’s what really motivates people. They think money motivates people. At the end of the day, people want to know they’ve done something meaningful.” -Bill George
  • “…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are
  • “Work can provide the opportunity for spiritual and personal, as well as financial, growth. If it doesn’t, we are wasting far too much of our lives on it.” -James A. Autry, author
  • “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.” -Johnny Carson
  • “It is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.” -Jim Collins
  • “The thought once occurred to me that if one wanted to crush and destroy a man entirely, to mete out to him the most terrible punishment, one at which the most fearsome murderer would tremble, shrinking from it in advance, all one would have to do would be to make him do work that was completely and utterly devoid of usefulness and meaning.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • “Money sometimes costs too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “In our time, we workers are being called to reexamine our work: how we do it; whom it is helping or hurting; what it is we do; and what we might be doing if we were to let go of our present work and follow a deeper call.” -Matthew Fox
  • “To be happy I think you have to be doing something you not only enjoy, but admire.” -Paul Graham
  • “Work to become, not to acquire.” -Elbert Hubbard
  • “The highest reward of a person’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes through it.” -John Ruskin
  • “Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette
  • “When you’re doing the work you’re meant to do, it feels right and every day is a bonus, regardless of what you’re getting paid.” -Oprah Winfrey
  • “Having a bad boss isn’t your fault. Staying with one is.” -Nora Denzel, tech executive
  • “…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
  • “Some people thrive when they find joy in how they earn a living, but others are at peace with less emotional connection to their work and instead relish the joy in their passions outside their nine-to-five.” -David Anderson, business executive

* Pay dissatisfaction is a leading cause of frustration or disappointment with work, according to the research. “One of the aspects of work that employed adults express the least satisfaction with is how much they are paid. Large majorities of workers who are not self-employed and who are not too or not at all satisfied with their pay cite each of the following as major reasons:

  • Their pay hasn’t kept up with increases in cost of living (80%)
  • Their pay is too low for the quality of work they do (71%)
  • Their pay is too low for the amount of work they do (70%)

Just over half (54%) say a major reason for their dissatisfaction with their pay is that they don’t earn enough to pay their bills. A smaller share (28%) say they are paid less than co-workers who do similar work.”

(Source: Pew Research Center Report on job satisfaction, December 2024)

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Unlock the Magic of Lifelong Learning

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Article Summary: 

You want to keep learning and growing, but you face many demands at work and home. Here we identify the main benefits of lifelong learning and ways to incorporate lifelong learning into your busy schedule.

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You want to keep learning and growing—but between deadlines, meetings, and family responsibilities, your good intentions fizzle out. This post addresses why ongoing education matters for your life and work and offers many ways you can fit lifelong learning into your schedule.

 

How Education and Learning Can Enrich Every Aspect of Your Life

Lifelong learning is a powerful catalyst for success and fulfillment as well as a big contributor to your quality of life. Here are five benefits of ongoing education and lifelong learning:

1. Personal and Professional Growth. Ongoing learning helps you develop self-awareness, empathy, and emotional intelligence—all keys to deeper relationships, more success, and greater fulfillment. As you grow, you’re better able to support and mentor others (whether colleagues or family members), amplifying your impact.

2. Better Decision-Making. Expanding your knowledge broadens your perspective. With more information and sharper thinking skills, you’re able to make wiser, more strategic choices—whether about your job, finances, health, or relationships.

3. Enhanced Problem-Solving. Learning sparks creativity and helps you approach challenges with fresh thinking. This can lead to breakthroughs at work, inventive solutions at home, and more effective ways of handling everyday obstacles.

4. Stronger Influence and Communication. The more you learn, the better you can express yourself, understand others, and connect across cultures, ages, and backgrounds. This can improve not only your career prospects but also your family dynamics, friendships, and community involvement.

5. Adaptability to Change. Continuous learning keeps you ahead of life’s ongoing shifts—new technologies, workplace changes, and evolving social norms—so you can respond with confidence, not anxiety.

“Learning is experienced as a personal transformation. A person does not gather learnings as possessions but rather becomes a new person…. To learn is not to have, it is to be.” -Gib Akin, University of Virginia professor

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Ways to Incorporate Lifelong Learning into a Busy Schedule

Learning doesn’t have to stop after school. It can become a lifelong practice that energizes your career, deepens your relationships, and enriches your life. Below are some practical ways to incorporate lifelong learning into your schedule.

 

Learning & Knowledge Expansion

  • Reading books*, articles, and blogs (or research papers or industry journals)
  • Listening to podcasts and audiobooks
  • Watching TED talks and other educational videos or documentaries
  • Attending lectures, seminars, or conferences
  • Following thought leaders on LinkedIn, Substack, or other channels

 

Skills Development

  • Taking online courses
  • Enrolling in certificate or micro-credential programs
  • Practicing with new tools or technologies (e.g., experimenting with AI programs like ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude, or Copilot)
  • Joining skill-specific workshops or bootcamps at work or beyond (consider identifying your important skills gaps and seeking to fill them)
“Learning is the master skill.”
-Jim Kouzes & Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge

 

Training & Structured Development

  • Participating in employer-sponsored training programs
  • Joining professional associations and attending their events and programs
  • Seeking an advanced degree in a field of interest
  • Executive education programs
  • University programs for adults**
  • Job shadowing
  • Job rotations
  • Mentorship (as mentee and/or mentor)
  • Coaching
  • Apprenticeships
  • Internships (or “returnships” for mid-career professionals, or “externships” outside your organization or learning institution).

 

“Until most individuals recognize that sustained training and effort is a prerequisite for reaching expert levels of performance, they will continue to misattribute lesser achievement to the lack of natural gifts, and will thus fail to reach their own potential.” -K. Anders Ericsson, Swedish psychologist

 

Interactive & Social Learning

  • Learning from your family, friends, and colleagues (be curious; the people around you have so much they can teach you, if only you get curious and ask)
  • Engaging in small groups (e.g., mastermind groups, “True North” groups, roundtables, peer learning circles)
  • Participating in book clubs or discussion groups
  • Contributing to professional forums or online communities (e.g., LinkedIn groups, Reddit, Discord)
  • Learning by teaching (one of the best ways to learn something, as I can personally attest)
  • Learning through feedback (asking for feedback often and being truly open to it and taking action on it).
 “Feedback is at the center of any learning process…. Learning doesn’t happen without feedback.”
-Jim Kouzes & Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge

 

Self-Directed Learning

  • Personal projects/experiments, consulting projects (paid or pro bono), or side hustles
  • Stretch assignments at work that push your comfort zone
  • Cross-training in areas outside your core role
  • Self-assessments (e.g., Traps Test, Strengths Search, Passion Probe, Leadership Derailers Assessment)
  • Journaling and reflection to process lessons learned from your experiences—especially mistakes, adversity, and failure
 “Everything that happens to you is your teacher.
The secret is to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”
-Polly B. Berends

 

Immersive Learning

  • Volunteering for causes to gain new perspectives
  • Traveling to broaden horizons, including service or mission trips
  • Language learning for cognitive and cultural benefits
  • Attending service days, hackathons, design sprints, or innovation labs

The point isn’t to try to do all—or even most—of these things. Rather, the point is to pick a few and do them regularly and well.

Experiment and have fun with it. See where it takes you.

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How to Vet Your Learning Opportunities

With so many options available, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Before you invest your time, money, and energy, pause to evaluate each opportunity. Consider the following factors:

Gauge Your Interest Level. Ask whether you’re genuinely curious about the topic. Motivation is much easier to sustain when you’re intrigued or inspired by the subject.

Check Relevance to Your Work and Passions. Does this opportunity align with your career goals, personal passions, or long-term aspirations? Relevance increases both usefulness and enjoyment.

Assess the Value of the Content. Consider whether what you’ll learn will benefit your family, team, organization, or community.

Consider Your Intellectual Development. Will it stretch your thinking? Challenge your assumptions? Expand your skills? Look for experiences that help you grow, not just confirm what you already know.

Evaluate the Source. Vet the credibility and reputation of instructors, institutions, or platforms. Seek out high-quality content from trusted experts.

Weigh Time and Energy Costs. Don’t get carried away and overload your schedule. Check whether you have the bandwidth to engage.

Consider Engagement Potential. Some topics naturally invite active participation, while others are more passive. Will this experience allow you to practice, discuss, or apply what you’re learning—or just sit and listen?

Factor in Your Curiosity. Curiosity is a powerful driver of interest, retention, and creativity. Opportunities that pique your curiosity often lead to deeper and more enjoyable learning.

Don’t Forget the Fun Factor. Learning doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Fun and engaging experiences are easier to remember and inspire you to keep learning.

By running each option through this quick “learning filter,” you’ll invest your resources in experiences that are not only enriching but also energizing, relevant, and impactful.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Conclusion

Our world is vast, fascinating, and endlessly multifaceted. It’s teeming with wonders in the natural world, mysteries in the cosmos, and depths still unexplored in the human mind and in our relationships with one another. Every day presents a new chance to uncover insights and expand your perspective.

Lifelong learning can be your passport to a richer and more meaningful life. Make curiosity a habit, not a hobby. Seek out new ideas, skills, and experiences. Stretch beyond your current boundaries. And be sure to share what you discover along the way.

The more you learn, the more fully you can live. And the more fully you live, the more you’ll have to give to others.

Wishing you well with your adventures in lifelong learning. They’re magical.
–Gregg

Tools for You

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Related Articles and Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Education and Learning

  • “An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.” -Benjamin Franklin
  • “…the purpose of education is to allow each individual to come into full possession of his or her personal power.” -John Dewey
  • “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” -Yeats
  • “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” -Nelson Mandela
  • “Taking charge of your own learning is a part of taking charge of your life, which is the sine qua non in becoming an integrated person.” -Warren Bennis
  • “If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.” -Zig Ziglar
  • “If you haven’t learned how to learn, you’ll have a hard time. Knowing how to learn is partly curiosity. But it’s also a discipline.” -Peter Drucker
  • “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” -Harry S. Truman
  • “The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.” -Sheryl Sandberg
  • “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” -John F. Kennedy
  • “In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.” -Eric Hoffer
  • “The human mind, once stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimensions.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • “Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is the private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefit for everyone and greater strength for our nation.” -John F. Kennedy
  • “Of all things, I like books best.” -Nikola Tesla
  • “Education can no longer be confined to the schools. Every employing institution has to become a teacher.” -Peter Drucker
  • “Learning is the one activity in which we can engage as fully in old age as when we are young.” -Aristotle
  • “Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.” -H.G. Wells
“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlyn… “is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies… you may see the world around you devastated by evil lunatics…. There is only one thing for it then—to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by… and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you.”
-Merlyn speaking to Arthur, from The Once and Future King

* Please famous for their voracious book reading habits include Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffett, Emma Watson, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Mark Cuban, J.K. Rowling, Malala Yousafzai, and many more. I try to follow their lead by reading a good book every morning.

** Examples: University of Colorado Denver Changemakers Program, Harvard Advanced Leadership Initiative, Notre Dame Inspired Leadership Initiative, Stanford Distinguished Careers Institute, University of Chicago Leadership & Society Initiative, University of Texas Tower Fellows Program, etc.

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Health and Vitality: Keys to Your Quality of Life

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Article Summary: 

Without health and vitality, even success and good relationships can feel empty, as stress, fatigue, or poor habits drain your joy and resilience. This article guides you through the 12 most important elements of physical and mental well-being—like nutrition, sleep, exercise, mindfulness, and resilience—so you can identify gaps, take practical steps, and build a foundation for thriving in life.

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You want to live a good life and you want to do well at work, but without health and vitality, everything else suffers. You can achieve success and build healthy relationships, but if your body is run-down or your mind is frequently stressed, it all feels hollow. Health and vitality are the foundation that everything else rests upon. They determine how much energy you bring to each day, how resilient you are in the face of challenges, and how much joy you can experience in the moments that matter most.

Here we explore the 12 most important components of health and vitality, including both physical and mental health. Together, these elements help you thrive. By taking stock of each one, you’ll gain a clearer sense of where you’re strong and where you need work.

 

1. Nutrition

Are you eating well and drinking enough water? Nutrition is a cornerstone of health and vitality. It influences your energy levels, mood, cognitive performance, and overall well-being. Proper nutrition can also have a big impact on heart health, blood pressure, immune system, mental clarity, sexual function, and longevity. Poor nutrition is a leading cause of premature death and disability, according to Dr. Michael Greger’s research. To help you make better dietary choices, check out the “Healthy Eating Plate” from Harvard researchers. (See my article, “Good Nutrition for Health and Wellness.”)

What will you do to improve your nutrition and hydration?

 

2. Sleep

Are you getting enough high-quality sleep? Sleep is a cornerstone of health and vitality, yet it’s often the most overlooked aspect of well-being. Quality sleep has a profound impact on your cognitive function, emotional regulation, and physical health. It’s an active process that rejuvenates the body and mind, preparing you for the challenges of the day ahead. Poor sleep can lead to impaired memory, mood disturbances, and decreased productivity. Practical strategies include establishing a consistent sleep schedule, creating a calm and restful sleep sanctuary, and stopping your screen time well before bedtime. (For more: “Great Sleep for Health, Wellness, and Great Work.”)

What will you do to improve your sleep quality?

Take the Traps Test

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3. Exercise

Do you move your body and exercise often and well enough? Exercise is a cornerstone of health and vitality, influencing nearly every aspect of your well-being. From enhancing mood and mental clarity to boosting energy levels and longevity, exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread positive changes. Incorporating movement into your daily routine can lead to improved cognitive function, better sleep quality, and lower risk of chronic diseases. The key is consistency and finding a routine that fits well with your lifestyle. (More here: “Exercise and Movement for Health, Wellness, and Great Work.”)

What will you do to move your body more and improve your exercise habits?

 

4. Strength

Do you feel strong and powerful? Strength is a cornerstone of your physical vitality. When you build and maintain muscle, you’re not just improving your appearance—you’re giving yourself the ability to handle life’s demands. Consistency matters more than intensity at first. Start small and build gradually. Focus on all major muscle groups, including your core. Pair your training with proper recovery—including rest days, stretching, and adequate protein—to let your muscles repair and grow. Strength training also protects your bones, boosts your metabolism, and improves posture, making it one of the best investments you can make in your long-term health and vitality.

What will you do to develop your strength?

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5. Flexibility

Are you flexible and able to navigate physical activities with a good range of movement?

Flexibility is often overlooked, but it plays a vital role in your health. When your muscles and joints move freely, you reduce the risk of injury, improve posture, and make everyday movements like bending, reaching, or twisting easier and more comfortable. You can enhance your flexibility through regular stretching, yoga, or mobility exercises, focusing on all major muscle groups and joints. Even just a few minutes each day of dynamic stretches or gentle movement can maintain or increase your range of motion. Flexibility also complements strength and endurance, helping your body move efficiently and recover more quickly after physical activity.

What will you do to enhance your flexibility?

 

6. Energy

How are your energy levels? Maintaining a good energy level is essential for living a vibrant, fulfilling life. Your energy fuels everything you do—from work and exercise to hobbies and family time. To keep your energy high, focus on foundational habits like getting adequate sleep, staying hydrated, eating well, and moving your body regularly. Avoid long periods of sedentary behavior and manage your stress, because mental fatigue can drain your vitality just as much as physical exertion. Small practices—like taking short breaks throughout the day and practicing deep breathing—can make a big difference. When you intentionally cultivate and protect your energy, you ensure that you have the capacity to do the things you want to do.

What will you do to develop and maintain high energy levels?

 

7. Endurance

Are you able to continue expending effort despite fatigue or stress? Building stamina allows you to engage in physical activity longer, recover faster, and handle daily demands without feeling exhausted. You can improve endurance through aerobic exercises like running, cycling, swimming, brisk walking, and dancing. Combining cardiovascular training with strength exercises enhances overall stamina, while proper nutrition, hydration, and rest ensure your body has the fuel and recovery it needs. By investing in endurance, you not only improve your physical capacity but also boost your mental resilience and energy levels.

What will you do to boost your endurance?

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8. Mindfulness

Are you able to focus your awareness on the present moment and calmly acknowledge and accept your thoughts and feelings? Mindfulness is a cornerstone of mental clarity and emotional resilience. In our fast-paced world, many of us grapple with stress, anxiety, and a constant barrage of thoughts (i.e., “monkey mind”). This mental chatter can disrupt focus, elevate stress levels, and hinder your ability to be present. Mindfulness can help train your mind to become more present, focused, and still.

Practicing mindfulness can significantly enhance your mental well-being. It helps quiet the mind, reduce stress, and improve emotional regulation. By engaging in mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or simply paying attention to the present moment, you can develop a deeper connection with yourself and your surroundings. (For more: “Why We Need Meditation and Mindfulness Now More than Ever.”)

What will you do to enhance your mindfulness?

 

9. Emotional Calm

Do you have peace of mind and a sense of inner calm on a regular basis? Emotional calm is a vital part of your mental health and greatly influences your overall vitality. When you cultivate a sense of calm, you reduce stress, make better decisions, and experience more clarity and focus. Simple practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling can help you manage emotional turbulence and create inner stillness. Regularly checking in with yourself, setting boundaries, and prioritizing restorative activities like time in nature, hobbies, or connecting with supportive people all contribute to your emotional equilibrium. By nurturing emotional calm, you create mental space and energy to thrive in your life.

What will you do to bring more emotional calm into your life?

 

10. Relaxation

Do you take enough time to relax during your days? Relaxation is essential for your health and vitality. Giving your mind and body intentional downtime helps reduce stress hormones, lowers blood pressure, and restores energy so you can function at your best. You can relax through activities like listening to music, reading, stretching, practicing gentle breathing, or just pausing and looking out at the horizon. When you take time to recharge, it makes a big difference.

What will you do to relax more?

 

11. Resilience

Do you maintain a regular and robust ability to adapt and recover in the face of adversity? In challenging times, resilience enables you to navigate stress, uncertainty, and setbacks without losing your sense of purpose or well-being. According to Tony Schwartz of The Energy Project, there are three pillars of resilience: self-awareness (identifying what you’re feeling), self-regulation (calming yourself in the face of anxiety, anger, or fear), and self-care (taking good care of yourself and maintaining your energy reserves).

What will you do to enhance your resilience?

 

12. Self-Care

Do you engage in regular self-care practices that replenish your energy and help you cope with hard times? This can include taking regular breaks, exercising, eating well, engaging in hobbies, and having places or practices of sanctuary that bring you peace. By building these things into the fabric of your days, you can build a strong and durable foundation that supports and sustains your health and vitality, even in difficult times.

What will you do to take even better care of yourself going forward?

 

Conclusion

Health and vitality aren’t luxuries. They’re the foundation of a good life. Without them, everything else becomes harder and less fulfilling, no matter how much success you have in other areas. By investing in your physical and mental well-being, you give yourself the capacity to thrive.

Choose one area to strengthen today and watch how it lifts the rest of your life. Focus on progress, not perfection. The more you invest in your health and vitality, the more fully you’ll be able to live, love, and lead.

Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

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Related Articles

 

Appendix: Safety

You can’t get very far with any of the elements above if you don’t feel safe. With health and vitality, safety is the foundation. If you don’t feel safe, everything else takes a back seat, because your mind and body remain on high alert. Pay attention to both physical and digital safety. What will you do to protect and maintain your safety?

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Health and Vitality and Quality of Life

  • “It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.” -Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Happiness lies first of all in health.” -George William Curtis
  • “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” -Ann Wigmore, holistic health practitioner
  • “Any food that requires enhancing by the use of chemical substances should in no way be considered a food.” -John H. Tobe, researcher, naturalist, and author
  • “Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness.” -Joseph Pilates, German-born physical trainer, writer, and inventor
  • “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” -Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and author
  • “Good things come to those who sweat.” -unknown
  • “Exercise is a celebration of what your body can do. Not a punishment for what you ate.” -anonymous
  • “When it comes to health and well-being, regular exercise is about as close to a magic potion as you can get.” -Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Buddhist monk
  • “If you don’t make time for exercise, you’ll probably have to make time for illness.” -Robin Sharma, Canadian lawyer turned writer
  • “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” -John F. Kennedy, former U.S. president
  • “Exercise is amazing, from the inside out. I feel so alive and have more energy.” -Vanessa Hudgens, actor and singer
  • “Sustained high achievement demands physical and emotional strength as well as a sharp intellect. To bring mind, body, and spirit to peak condition, executives need to learn what world-class athletes already know: recovering energy is as important is expending it…. When people feel strong and resilient—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—they perform better, with more passion, for longer. They win, their families win, and the corporations that employ them win.” -Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, “The Making of a Corporate Athlete,” Harvard Business Review
  • “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit…?… honor God with your bodies.” -1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV)
  • “Sleep is a necessary part of life, though most of us scrape by with as little as possible…. It turns out that sleep can make or break your ability to lose weight, age slowly, prevent cancer, and perform at a high level.” -Dr. Sara Gottfried, physician-scientist
  • “Proper sleep has helped me get to where I am today as an athlete, and it is something that I continue to rely on every day.” -Tom Brady, American football quarterback and champion
  • “Tired officers are always pessimists.” -General George S. Patton, U.S. Army General
  • “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” -Vince Lombardi, legendary football coach

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+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Elevate Your Life with a Strong Personal Core

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Article Summary: 

We all want to have a good quality of life but too often we don’t know how to get it, especially given the demands we face. Here we identify how you can elevate your quality of life with a strong personal core, a foundation that includes contentment, happiness, meaning, gratitude, and more.

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In a world full of pressure and constant change, it’s easy to get pulled in a dozen directions—reacting to demands and losing sight of what truly matters. Without a strong personal core, you risk drifting or living by someone else’s script. But when you anchor your life in clarity about who you are, what you value, and what gives you meaning, you can elevate your quality of life.

Here are nine building blocks of a strong personal core:

 

Contentment

Do you have a sense of peace and satisfaction that comes from appreciating what you have in the present moment? A calm confidence that your life, as it is right now, has value and meaning?

Contentment grounds you in the present, helping you savor life rather than merely chase what’s next. When you cultivate contentment, you reduce inner friction, judgment, and comparison, creating space for gratitude, joy, and authentic living. It stabilizes your emotional foundation, allowing you to pursue purpose and growth from a place of ease rather than restlessness or neediness.

What will you do to bring more contentment into your life?

 

Happiness

Do you have a genuine and strong sense of wellbeing and contentment that comes from feeling at ease with yourself and your life? A deep, enduring satisfaction and joy?

Happiness is an essential part of your personal core because it acts as both a compass and a fuel. When you cultivate it, you create a foundation for making choices that honor your core values, deepen your connections, and bring meaning to your life. Without nurturing happiness, other aspects of your personal core can feel harder to access. (See my article, “What Leads to Happiness?”)

Happiness is “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” -Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California, Riverside psychologist and happiness researcher

What will you do to bring more happiness into your life?

 

Meaning

Do you have a strong and deep sense that your life has significance—that your actions and experiences contribute to something larger than yourself?

“Meaning in life refers to the feeling that people have that their lives and experience make sense and matter.”
-Dr. Michael Steger, Colorado State University

Meaning can give you direction and motivation. When you cultivate meaning, even challenges and setbacks can feel purposeful. Your daily actions gain coherence and richness. It acts as a guiding star, helping you prioritize what truly matters and live a life that’s aligned, intentional, and fulfilling.

What will you do to infuse your life with more meaning?

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Fulfillment

Do you have an enduring feeling of pleasure and satisfaction because you’re happy with your life? A sense that your life has been what you’ve expected or hoped for, even despite adversity?

When you cultivate fulfillment, you experience a lasting sense of accomplishment and direction that goes beyond fleeting success or external validation. It helps you make choices that honor your deepest priorities and live a life that feels harmonious, whole, and true.

What will you do to bring more fulfillment into your life?

 

Quality of Life

Taking stock of your quality of life regularly helps to brings clarity and intentionality to your journey. By evaluating key areas such as health, relationships, work, and personal growth, you can identify where you’re thriving and where you need to direct your attention.

This process is about awareness and action, not perfection. It helps you recognize patterns, celebrate wins, and address areas that are holding you back. Regularly assessing your quality of life empowers you to make informed choices, set relevant goals, and live with purpose and fulfillment. (See my article, “Taking Stock of Your Quality of Life.”)

What will you do to ensure you maintain a good quality of life?

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Joy

Joy is the feeling of lightness, delight, and exuberance that bubbles up when you engage with life in a way that resonates with your authentic essence. It’s more than happiness—it’s a deep, often spontaneous sense of aliveness and appreciation that energizes your mind, body, and spirit.

Joy summons the pleasures of living fully. When you nurture joy, you immerse yourself in the present moment and make it easier to approach challenges with optimism. It’s a spark that animates your purpose and deepens your relationships.

What will you do to bring more joy into your life?

 

Gratitude

Do you have a practice of noticing and appreciating the positive aspects of your life—both big and small? A mindset that helps you recognize and appreciate the value in experiences, relationships, and even challenges that help you grow?

Gratitude shifts your focus from what you’re missing to what you have. When you cultivate gratitude, you create the conditions for contentment and joy. (See my article, “20 Benefits of Gratitude.”)

What will you do to be thankful for what you have and keep a grateful heart?

 

Authentic Alignment

Are you living in “authentic alignment,” in which you’re being true to yourself and there’s a good fit between who you really are and how you live? Is there a good match between your inner world of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams and the outer world of what you’re doing in your home, workplace, and community? This alignment fosters a sense of integrity and coherence, allowing you to thrive mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Authentic alignment anchors you in your true self. When you’re aligned, you’re more likely to experience clarity, conviction, and contentment. Conversely, misalignment can lead to feelings of inauthenticity, anxiety, and disconnection. This can come from the traps of conformity, comparison, people-pleasing, and caring too much about what other people think. (See my article, “The Power of Authentic Alignment in Your Life.”)

What will you do to live a life of authentic alignment?

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Spirituality

Are you cultivating a deeper connection to something greater than yourself? Engaged with matters of the human spirit or soul, as opposed to becoming overly consumed with material or physical things? Are you exploring life’s deeper questions and seeking alignment with your inner values and beliefs? Spirituality can manifest through practices like prayer, meditation, nature immersion, or acts of compassion, and it often involves a sense of transcendence.

Spirituality provides a sense of meaning, especially during challenging times. By nurturing your spiritual life, you can experience greater inner peace, resilience, and a deeper understanding of your place in the universe. It helps you transcend the ego and material distractions, fostering a life that is more intentional, connected, and fulfilling. For many people, spirituality is a lived practice—often experienced in community—rooted in connection, reflection, and shared meaning. It can involve surrendering to a higher power and embracing the gifts of forgiveness, redemption, and grace, creating space for healing and renewal. (See my article, “On Spirituality and the Good Life.”)

What will you do to nurture your spiritual life?

 

Conclusion

You don’t build a strong personal core overnight. You cultivate it over time through small, consistent choices that honor what matters most. It’s about nurturing contentment, happiness, and joy; fostering meaning; checking in on the quality of your life; practicing gratitude; embodying authentic alignment; and deepening your spirituality.

In our busy and noisy modern world, this work can feel challenging, but it’s well worth it. Give yourself grace along the way, and remember: even amid life’s pressures, a strong core will help elevate your life.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Personal Core and Quality of Life

  • “Let us consider the way in which we spend our lives.” -Henry David Thoreau
  • “Every day we have decisions to make about how we want to live…. We must take charge of how we spend our days…. Otherwise, we may one day wake up to find ourselves brilliantly situated for a life we do not want.” -Christopher Gergen and Gregg Vanourek in LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives
  • “Life goes by so very fast, my dears, and taking the time to reflect, even once a year, slows things down. We zoom past so many seconds, minutes, hours, killing them with the frantic way we live that it’s important we take at least this one collective sigh and stop, take stock, and acknowledge our place in time before diving back into the melee.” -Hillary DePiano, New Year’s Thieve
  • “Think about the metric by which your life will be judged, and make a resolution to live every day so that in the end, your life will be judged a success.” -Clayton Christensen

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Most Common Myths about Passion and Work

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Just follow your passion. Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. So goes the common advice from scads of college graduation speeches. As if it were so simple. Is it good advice? How can you find your passion anyway? What are the most common myths about passion and work? And what are the realities that bust those myths?

It helps to start with what passions are and aren’t. Researchers have defined passions as strong inclinations toward activities you value and like or love, and in which you invest your time and energy. I like to think of passions as the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time.

Signs of passion at work (whether paid or volunteer or in the household or with children) include:

  1. Loving what you do
  2. Talking often about what you like about your work
  3. Working extra even when you don’t have to

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

Find Your Passion

 

Myths about Passion and Work

For many people, the advice about following your passion feels confusing and unrealistic—and in some cases even discouraging. In fact, some of the most common messages about passion and work are based on myths that will hold you back instead of helping you move forward. Let’s set the record straight and unpack those myths.

 

Myth: You should just know what your passion is.

Reality: Many people struggle with this. The idea of finding their passion feels overwhelming. For most, passion doesn’t strike like a lightning bolt with instant clarity. Many people try out different interests for a number of years. Those who do discover their passion often go through long periods during which it wasn’t obvious.

 

Myth: You really need to find your passion.

Reality: Finding your passion isn’t the best way to think about it for many people. Business owner and author Emily Perron notes that for many people it feels like a frustrating “wild goose chase.” According to University of Pennsylvania psychology professor Angela Duckworth, passions tend to be developed more than they’re discovered, and they usually develop and deepen over time.

Finding something suggests a search with a set endpoint, or that it’s out there for you to just come upon. Developing something, by contrast, calls for growing it or causing it to grow and become more mature.

In reality, you’re likely to notice that you have certain interests and that some of these can become passions when you keep pursuing those interests long enough. Many people give up before reaching that point due to a lack of focus or discipline, a belief that work is a grind that you just endure so you can pay the bills, or settling for work that’s just okay. (Note: In advanced economies, the average person spends about 90,000 hours at work.)

 

Myth: You need to find your passion when you’re young.

Reality: For many people, passions take time to discover (and then develop and deepen). And that’s okay. That just makes your passions richer, and it helps you appreciate them.

Very few people discover their passion early in life and stick with it consistently. As we grow and gain new experiences, our interests naturally shift—and so do our passions.

With passions, as with so many things, the path is winding.

The pressure to figure it all out early in life can lead to frustration from feeling “behind” and choosing things for reasons that won’t hold up well over time. In truth, your interests and values evolve over time. It’s not a race. Instead, it’s a process of growth and discovery that tends to go much better with a blend of action and reflection, including significant time in what I call “discover mode.”

“…we may try many different jobs looking for the right ‘fit,’ the role that instantly flips the passion switch, and we may not take into account the fact that it often takes time to develop one’s passion for a job, along with the skills, confidence, and relationships that allow one to experience passion for work.”
-Jon M. Jachimowicz, “3 Reasons It’s So Hard to ‘Follow Your Passion,’” Harvard Business Review, October 15, 2019

 

Myth: Only certain kinds of jobs are amenable to passion.

(Examples: working in education, health care, social justice, the environment, etc.—or for world-changing startups or social enterprises.)*

Reality: You can integrate your passions into almost any job. Of course, if you do a good job and show that you’re a reliable and productive team member operating with integrity, that typically earns you more autonomy, respect, and credibility. But this can vary depending on how supportive your manager or team are.

Think about what makes work enjoyable, meaningful, and rewarding for you. With that lens, it’s not just about your passion for the work itself but also a number of other things, including autonomy, flexibility, financial security, benefits, healthy work environments, camaraderie, skill, flow, values, purpose, and impact.

Sure, many people are passionate about social issues, groups, or causes. But others are passionate about activities or skills (e.g., analyzing, coaching, coding, communication, data mining, editing, facilitating, healing, leading, parenting, problem-solving, etc.). There are passionate people in every field, industry, and sector.

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Myth: You only have one passion.

Reality: You can have multiple passions, and they can change over time. You may find joy in a number of pursuits. Don’t lock yourself into just one path. Instead, explore all the things that spark real curiosity or motivation.

“When I stopped trying so darn hard to find my one, true passion that I could shape my life around,
I discovered the beauty of multi-pursuits of multi-passions.”
-Emily Perron, business owner and author

 

Myth: Everyone wants their passion incorporated into their job.

Reality: According to the research of University of Pennsylvania Professor Amy Wrzesniewski and others, people have different orientations toward their work (i.e., viewing it as a job, career, or calling). Those with a job orientation view work as means to an end. They work for pay and benefits to support their family and hobbies, and they prefer jobs that don’t interfere with personal life. They’re not as likely to have a strong connection to work as those with a career or calling orientation.

Also, when you turn your passion into your work, there’s a risk of stealing some of its magic as you get bogged down in deadlines and deliverables.

“Some people thrive when they find joy in how they earn a living, but others are at peace with less emotional connection to their work and instead relish the joy in their passions outside their nine-to-five.”
-David Anderson, business executive

 

Myth: Following your passion will lead you to success.

Reality: It’s not entirely wrong, but it’s vastly oversimplified and incomplete. Truth be told, it’s not enough to follow your passions. Your passions can be big performance drivers because of the fiery intensity and enduring commitment that they can help engender, but in our competitive world you still need a business model. You need to add value and do things that others are willing to pay you for—and spread the word about who you can help and how in a noisy world. Meanwhile, not all passions are well-suited to being your primary occupation or to generating your required income.

 

Myth: A passion should last forever.

Reality: Your passions must be tended to, or they might wither and die. They can fade over time as you go through different seasons of life. Two things can help prevent that:

  1. purpose: when you connect your passions to a deeper sense of meaning, you tap into a more sustainable source of energy.
  2. novelty: exploring fresh ways to engage your passions—with new people or in different contexts—can keep them vibrant and alive.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Myth: Pursuing your passion is selfish.**

Reality: As activist and writer Courtney Christenson has pointed out, neglecting your passion(s) prevents the people closest to you from knowing who you are and what drives you. It also limits your ability to make a meaningful impact, live a life of authentic alignment, and inspire others in the process.

“When you don’t pursue your passion it robs your family of truly, deeply knowing you. It robs your spouse from seeing your true self. It robs your children of their most powerful role model. (If you want them to grow up and pursue their passions, you need to show them how.) It robs the world of your voice, influence, and change-making potential. And most importantly, it robs you of truly living.” -Courtney Christenson, activist and writer

 

Myth: You have to find your passion early in life in order to be truly great at it.

Reality: You can discover, develop, and deepen a passion at virtually any stage of life—and still develop mastery with it. Examples abound, including Morgan Freeman, Toni Morrison, Samuel L. Jackson, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Ray Kroc, Colonel Sanders, Julia Child, Vera Wang, and countless others. It’s a trap to think it’s too late to develop your passions.

 

Myth: You’ll be successful and happy if you follow your passion.

Reality: Integrating your passions into your life and work can be powerfully rewarding and gratifying, but there’s much more to happiness. What about things like anticipation, savoring, gratitude, purpose, service, and healthy relationships?

 

Conclusion

There are many myths about passion and work that can lead you astray. It’s not as simple as just following your passion. Passion alone is not enough. But it may also be a big mistake for you to ignore or neglect your passions.

Passions can be a powerful part of the equation when it comes to productive and enjoyable work as well as happiness and fulfillment. But only part of the equation. Ideally, you’re wise to buttress your passions with your strengths, values, and purpose on the one hand and helping others while filling market needs with an effective business model on the other hand.

Here’s to finding ways to meet your financial needs and fulfill your obligations to your family or others while also integrating your passions into your life and work.

 

Tools for You

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

Find Your Passion

 

Related Articles & Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Passions

  • “Never underestimate the vital importance of finding early in life the work that for you is play. This turns possible underachievers into happy warriors.” -Ken Robinson, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything
  • “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” -Jean Shinoda Bolen, psychiatrist
  • “Allow yourself to be silently guided by that which you love the most.” -Rumi, 13th century poet and Sufi mystic
  • “If there is any difference between you and me, it may simply be that I get up every day and have a chance to do what I love to do, every day. If you want to learn anything from me, this is the best advice I can give you.” -Warren Buffett, investor
  • “I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.” -Stephen King, writer
  • “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” -Oprah Winfrey, media entrepreneur, author, and philanthropist
  • “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” -Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “If you don’t love what you’re doing, you’ll lose to someone who does! For every person who is half-hearted about their work or relationships, there is someone else who loves [it]. This person will work harder and longer. They will outrun you.” -Jerry Porras, Stewart Emery, and Mark Thompson, Success Built to Last
  • “The key to creating passion in your life is to find your unique talents, and your special role and purpose in the world. It is essential to know yourself before you decide what work you want to do.” -Stephen R. Covey, author, executive, and teacher
  • “The conventional wisdom on career success—follow your passion—is seriously flawed. It not only fails to describe how most people actually end up with compelling careers, but for many people it can actually make things worse: leading to chronic job shifting and unrelenting angst when one’s reality inevitably falls shorts of the dream.” -Cal Newport, So Good They Can’t Ignore You
  • “You may think that you’ve lost your passion, or that you can’t identify it, or that you have so much of it, it threatens to overwhelm you. None of these is true.” -Steven Pressfield, Do the Work
  • “…my recommendation would be follow your contribution. Find the thing that you’re great at, put that into the world, contribute to others, help the world be better and that is the thing to follow.” -Ben Horowitz, 2015 commencement address
  • “…expressing your passion can be beneficial because others admire you more and may help you become more successful. At the same time, it may also make it more likely they will ask you to take on tasks that fall outside of narrow job descriptions, placing you at risk of stretching yourself too thin and burning out.” -Jon M. Jachimowicz, “3 Reasons It’s So Hard to ‘Follow Your Passion,’” Harvard Business Review, October 15, 2019
  • “The message to find your passion is generally offered with good intentions, to convey: Do not worry so much about talent, do not bow to pressure for status or money, just find what is meaningful and interesting to you. Unfortunately, the belief system this message may engender can undermine the very development of people’s interests.” -O’Keefe PA, Dweck CS, Walton GM. Implicit Theories of Interest: Finding Your Passion or Developing It? Psychol Sci. 2018 Oct;29(10):1653-1664.

* Computer science professor and author Cal Newport made this point in his book, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World.

** Many women struggle with this myth, in part due to gender stereotypes and cultural conditioning.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

How to Help Others Stop Playing the Victim

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Do you know or work with someone who has a victim mentality? Perhaps they believe their hardships are always someone else’s fault and that things will never change, so there’s no use trying. Maybe they see themselves as powerless, hopelessly stuck in negative circumstances.

The cost of having a victim mentality is steep. It drains their energy, triggers resentment, and fosters bitterness. Essentially, they’re taking a bad situation and making it worse. It can lead to withdrawal and other harmful coping behaviors. Over time, it erodes their sense of agency and well-being, trapping them in a downward spiral.

Let’s pause to acknowledge something important: everyone faces hardships, and some endure traumatic experiences. Far too many people are victims of crime, cruelty, neglect, or abuse in different forms.

But there’s a vital distinction between experiencing victimhood and adopting a victim mentality. The latter can take hold and persist for years—even a lifetime—unless a person consciously chooses to break the cycle.

 

Signs that Someone Has a Victim Mentality

How to know if someone is struggling with a victim mentality? Here are some common signs:

  1. they often focus on what’s wrong rather than what can be improved
  2. they express dissatisfaction about things (e.g., colleagues, workload)—but without seeking solutions
  3. they often express feelings of powerlessness in the face of their difficulties
  4. they complain that other people seem to have it much easier
  5. something always seems to go wrong for them
  6. they often act like a martyr*
  7. they often expect the worst
  8. they view the world as hostile or unfair
  9. they’re fixated on trials and tribulations
  10. they seem to be hooked on misery and drama
“Victims’ talent for high drama draws people to them like moths to a flame. Their permanent dire state brings out the altruistic motives in others. It is hard to ignore constant cries for help…. And like moths in a flame, helpers quickly get burned; nothing seems to work to alleviate the victims’ miserable situation; there is no movement for the better.”
-Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?”

 

The Challenges of Trying to Help Others Stop Playing the Victim

If you see someone struggling with a victim mentality, you may want to help them overcome it. But a few cautions are in order, since there are many potential pitfalls.

People caught in a victim mentality may rely on guilt trips or emotional manipulation to get attention or sympathy. They tend to avoid taking responsibility, offering excuses for their actions—or inaction—and sometimes bending the truth to reinforce their sense of being wronged. They’re often skilled at provoking emotional reactions in others, pulling people into their drama, whether consciously or not.

Though they may ask for help, they frequently criticize or reject the support they receive. This can leave you feeling frustrated or blamed, as the person with the victim mentality claims further injury in response to perceived slights or failed attempts to help.

“…people with a victim mentality are very difficult to handle. They have an extremely fatalistic outlook on life. Because they believe they have no control over the way events unfold, they have a poor sense of responsibility. Every negative outcome in their life is attributed to people or circumstances beyond their control. Every effort made to help them, or to present a solution to their predicament, is met by a huge arsenal of reasons why it will not work, some of them quite ingenious. Their problems are apparently unique and therefore insoluble. They appear always to be trying to prove the helper wrong. Anyone prepared to help them is left with a sense of utter frustration.” -Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?”

When people have a victim mentality, they’re likely to ruminate on things a lot. Dwelling on past hurts and perceived injustices keeps their wounds fresh. They may be subconsciously drawn to others with similar mindsets or even to dysfunctional or abusive relationships, reinforcing their belief that the world is unsafe and unfair.

The victim mentality becomes self-reinforcing over time. The person begins to identify with their pain, seeing themselves through the lens of what’s been done to them—trapping them in a cycle of disappointment, blame, and increasing isolation.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

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How to Help Others Stop Playing the Victim

With the above cautions in mind, and thinking about when professional counseling may be needed, here’s how you can help others stop playing the victim:

Start with empathy, not judgment. They may be carrying unseen burdens or trauma.** Avoid labeling them. Feeling like a victim is painful enough without added stigma or blame.

Don’t feed the cycle. Even listening to repeated grievances can enable their victim mentality. Gently steer the conversation toward more constructive ground. Set clear boundaries while remaining compassionate.

Offer encouragement. Remind them of their strengths and past accomplishments to help rebuild their confidence and sense of agency. Celebrate their progress and help them see themselves as someone who can learn and grow through challenges. Remind them of their resilience by pointing out times when they’ve overcome adversity.

“…what helps victims best is the development of a healthier self-concept.”
-Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?”

Help them identify their strengths. Invite them to make a list of their strengths (they can use my Strengths Search tool for that). Add to their list by noting their additional strengths, since people often overlook their own strengths. Then help them identify how those strengths could help them with their current challenges.

Strengths Search

We all have core strengths–the things in which we most excel. Take this self-assessment to determine your core strengths so you can integrate them more into your life and work.

Find Your Strengths

Help them count the cost of the victim mentality. With care, reflect how the victim mentality may be undermining their growth and happiness. Invite them to imagine how much better things could be if they escaped this terrible trap.

Invite them to choose something better. Support them in making a conscious decision to release the victim role and pursue a life of possibility, strength, and joy. Help them sense the vast difference between the heavy burden of the victim mentality and the liberating lightness of letting it go.

Separate their identity from their pain. Remind them: they are not the bad things that have happened to them. They’re more than their wounds. Support them in seeing themselves as survivors, not victims.

“I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
-Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist

Reinforce their sense of agency. Affirm that, even in hardship, they still have options. They can respond with courage and move forward, even with small steps.

Help them focus on solutions. Ask what they’d do if they had the power to change things. Guide them in brainstorming small, achievable steps they can take now. Emphasize their ability to make progress—but avoid rescuing them or dispensing “the answers.” Help them see and start to believe in their own capacity.

“People dealing with individuals with a victim mindset should recognize that there is a difference between rescuing and helping.” -Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?”

Help them develop a broader perspective. Acknowledging that others also face hardship and pain can help them snap out of the victimhood trance.

Challenge them to serve. Have them look for ways they can help others. Serving can shift their focus outward and destroy the cycle of self-pity.

Gently challenge their self-talk. Encourage them to notice how they speak to themselves. Ask thoughtful questions to help them see that they’re not helpless, and that they can reframe negative narratives.

Help them examine limiting beliefs. Ask whether their beliefs about their situation are really true—or just familiar. Support them in recognizing which beliefs are helpful and which are harmful.

Redirect their focus. When they start ruminating on their misfortune, guide their attention toward something positive—like what they’ve learned or what they’re looking forward to.

Help them recognize patterns. Invite them to think about examples of when and where they tend to fall into a victim mindset. Identify triggers. Brainstorm with them ways they can handle those situations more constructively.

Encourage them to prioritize self-care. Help them see the value in developing good habits—like sunshine, movement, and rest—that build a foundation for mental and emotional wellbeing.

Encourage them to prioritize healthy relationships. Gently steer them away from people who reinforce a victim mentality. Suggest spending more time with those who are supportive, responsible, and action-oriented.

Encourage them to take responsibility. Support them as they learn to take full responsibility for their lives. Invite them to experience the power of owning their choices instead of dwelling on misfortune and fault.

“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”
-Richard Bach, writer

Encourage forgiveness. If they’re ready, talk about the power of forgiveness—for others and for themselves—as a way to reclaim peace and begin to heal.

 

Conclusion

When trying to help others overcome their victim mentality, it’s important to be realistic about the process. Overcoming a victim mentality takes time. Quick fixes are unlikely. It may be deeply tied to their identity, making change difficult.

“We should not underestimate the challenge of letting go of such a fundamental part of their identity. Their history of hurt and trauma has defined who they are, and they have been playing the victim over and over again in their mind.”
-Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?”

Encourage patience and honesty as they navigate this shift. Bear in mind that the responsibility is theirs alone, although you may be able to provide care, support, and helpful nudges along the way.

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on How to Help Others Stop Playing the Victim

  • “…people suffering from the victim syndrome are prone to aggravate the mess in which they find themselves. Strange as it may sound, they are often victims by choice. And ironically, they are frequently successful in finding willing victimizers.” -Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, “Are You a Victim of the Victim Syndrome?”
  • “Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity…. You will then ignore, deny, or sabotage the positive in your life.” -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “A victim identity is the belief that the past is more powerful than the present, which is the opposite of the truth.” -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “…an individual’s sense of personal control determines his fate.” -Dr. Martin Seligman, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life
  • “Most people are in love with their particular life drama. Their story is their identity. The ego runs their life. They have their whole sense of self invested in it.” -Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
  • “The difference between the hero and the victim is the way they react to the pain they experience.” -Donald Miller, business executive and author
  • “…even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself, and by so doing change himself. He may turn a personal tragedy into a triumph.” -Victor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor
  • “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” -Napoleon Hill
  • “Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it we never do anything wise in the world.” -Helen Keller
  • “Constructive action is the opposite of victimized brooding.” -Dr. Robert W. Firestone, clinical psychologist
  • “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” -Maya Angelou, poet and civil-rights activist
  • “Whatever has happened to you in your past has no power over this present moment, because life is now.” -Oprah Winfrey, media entrepreneur and philanthropist
  • ‘‘The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” -Joan Didion, writer

* For example, does he repeatedly sacrifice himself—often unnecessarily—to gain sympathy or moral high ground while portraying himself as the sole sufferer and resenting others for not recognizing the sacrifice?

** If you’re helping someone who has experienced trauma or abuse, encourage them to disclose it as early as possible to trained professionals, or to trusted family members or friends when appropriate. This can lead to more support and faster processing and healing. Encourage them to reach out to a therapist, counselor, or support hotline when needed. Options include:

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

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+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Biggest Mistakes New Graduates Make

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Dear new graduate: Congratulations and hats off to you! You’ve come a long way and reached a major milestone in your life.

Maybe you’ve been so busy finishing assignments and getting to graduation that you haven’t taken much time to think about what comes next. (If so, you’re not alone!)

With that in mind, here are some of the biggest mistakes new graduates make:

❌ Putting too much pressure on yourself to have it all figured out right away.

❌ Committing too early to a career path without vetting it deeply and remaining open to new and better possibilities.

❌ Not clarifying what’s important to you when it comes to work. (In addition to pay, for example, what about opportunities for learning and growth, a vibrant culture, chances to work with great people, or meaningful work?)

❌ Not doing nearly enough vetting of the organizations you’re considering working with (including their values and culture, your manager, and career path). (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

❌ Accepting other people’s definition of success instead of defining it for yourself.

❌ Living someone else’s life.

❌ Defining yourself by comparison, as opposed to by your own core values and guiding lights.

❌ Defining self-worth by your accomplishments.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

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❌ Spending your best years and trading your precious life energy on dubious things.

❌ Succeeding at something that doesn’t really matter to you.

❌ Not taking stock of your quality of life regularly.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
-Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher

❌ Chasing status and prestige in your work because of how it will make you look in the eyes of others. (See my article, “The Powerful Pull of the Prestige Magnet.”)

“An easy way to pick the wrong career is to put your image above your interests and identity. A motivating job isn’t the one that makes you look important. It’s the one that makes you feel alive. Meaningful work isn’t about impressing others. It’s about expressing your values.” -Adam Grant, organizational psychologist

❌ Assuming that “climbing the ladder” is the point of work. (See my TEDx talk on LIFE entrepreneurship and “climbing mode” versus “discover mode.”)

❌ Viewing your career as a race against your peers. (See my article, “Feeling Behind? It May Be a Trap.”)

❌ Focusing too much on material comfort and financial gain and not enough on happiness, love, personal growth, and spiritual depth. (See my article, “Beware the Disease of More.”)

❌ Assuming that worldly success will fill you up.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

❌ Giving too much of yourself or your time away to unreasonable bosses or unacceptable circumstances.

❌ Staying too long in a job that’s not a good fit or with a bad manager.

❌ Letting your life get overly full and cluttered, with not enough white space.

❌ Letting work consume too much of your life.

“…the problem isn’t how hard you’re working, it’s that you’re working on things that aren’t right for you.
Your goals and motivations aren’t harmonizing with your deepest truth.”
-Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity

❌ Not honoring your commitments to those you belong to.

❌ Losing touch with your close friends.

❌ Playing it safe in your career and not taking enough risks early on while you have more time, freedom, and flexibility—perhaps playing small out of fear.

“So many of us choose our paths in life out of fear disguised as practicality.”
-Jim Carrey, comedian and actor

❌ Thinking you’re done learning now that you have a degree.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

❌ Falling into bad habits that will cause you to waste a lot of time or drift away from your values.

❌ Not taking charge of your free time, perhaps because you’re so drained from work.

❌ Letting yourself become cynical and jaded. (See my article, “Guard Your Heart.”)

❌ Making decisions or taking actions that aren’t in line with your core values and top priorities.

❌ Not giving more of yourself to others.

❌ Neglecting opportunities for fun and adventure in your life.

❌ Not daring to put your own distinctive stamp on your workplace, community, and world.

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Conclusion

When it comes to navigating the early chapters of your career, it’s easy to focus on what other people expect of you and get lost in what our larger culture values. But it’s far better to get busy becoming who you really are.

It’s easy to get caught up in playing the short game instead of the long one—with a broader perspective on what’s important in life and what would be a life well lived.

Before you get too busy with the hustle and bustle of life and work, take the time to get to know yourself well—including your core values, strengths, passions, and vision of the good life. And learn to trust yourself as you craft a life you’ll be proud of.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Strengths Search

We all have core strengths–the things in which we most excel. Take this self-assessment to determine your core strengths so you can integrate them more into your life and work.

Find Your Strengths

 

Related Articles & Resources

Postscript: Inspirations for New Graduates

  • “Big career decisions don’t come with a map, but all you need is a compass. In an unpredictable world, you can’t make a master plan. You can only gauge whether you’re on a meaningful path. The right next move is the one that brings you a step closer to living your core values.” -Adam Grant, professor
  • “One of the things is putting pressure on having that perfect solution lined up. While we should dream big, sometimes we need to make smaller moves and small experiments to build confidence and gather data and grow more organically in a new direction. In reality, what works is getting anchored in existing strengths and experiences and have a general feeling of success. There is no real way to know the answers up to the front of what to pursue next in our careers unless we’re running small tests and learning from them.” -Jenny Blake, author and podcaster
  • “One of the best pieces of advice for young people is, Get to yourself quickly. If you know what you want to do, start doing it.” -David Brooks, The Second Mountain
  • “The deepest vocational question is not ‘What ought I to do with my life?’ It is the more elemental and demanding ‘Who am I? What is my nature?’” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are
  • “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey, educator and author
  • “Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.” -Warren Buffett, investor
  • “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” –Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “Shadow Career is the term used to describe people who go on an alternative path from their true dream because they’ve given up on themselves.” -Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Be Your Future Self Now
  • “I don’t have a problem with what you do, that’s your choice. What I have a problem with is you lying to yourself about why you’re doing the things you’re doing. You have a choice.” -Jerry Colonna, co-founder and CEO, Reboot
  • “In our time, we workers are being called to reexamine our work: how we do it; whom it is helping or hurting; what it is we do; and what we might be doing if we were to let go of our present work and follow a deeper call.” -Matthew Fox, Episcopal priest and theologian
  • “We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
  • “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.” -Victor Frankl, psychologist, author, and Holocaust survivor
  • “…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material, and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
  • “Unhappy is he who depends on success to be happy. For such a person, the end of a successful career is the end of the line.” -Alex Dias Ribeiro, former Formula 1 race-car driver
  • “What shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” -Mark (8:36)
  • “Discovering vocation doesn’t mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond your reach, but rather accepting the treasure that you have been given. But make no mistake about it, well-meaning people around you—friends, family work associates, and others—will push you to run someone else’s race.” -Nicholas Pearce, pastor and professor
  • “Today I understand vocation quite differently—not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice ‘out there’ calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice ‘in here’ calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God.” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “…I (like many others) felt a wrongness in the world, a wrongness that seeped through the cracks of my privileged, insulated childhood…. Life, I knew, was supposed to be more joyful than this, more real, more meaningful, and the world was supposed to be more beautiful. We were not supposed to hate Mondays and live for the weekends and holidays…. We were not supposed to be kept indoors on a beautiful day, day after day.” -Charles Eisenstein, The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible
  • “Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette, author

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Thriving Amidst Chaos and Uncertainty: 12 Tips

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Are you facing chaos and uncertainty in your life and work now? Finding it hard to manage things or lead? You’re not alone.

You may have noticed a few disruptions lately:

  • economic instability (including tariff uncertainty and supply chain disruptions)
  • political polarization and the erosion of democratic norms
  • technological disruption (including AI risks, scams, deepfakes, and more)
  • geopolitical conflicts (including wars in Ukraine and the Middle East)
  • climate change and extreme weather events

Such disruptions come and go, but if you let them, they can have brutal impacts on your life, work, and leadership. Chaos and uncertainty can cause:

  • anxiety and stress
  • bad decisions
  • lost energy
  • blocked creativity
  • damage to your health
  • harm to your relationships
  • burnout
  • lost perspective
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” -Paolo Coelho, Brazilian novelist

Can you keep a level head despite all the challenges? Can you maintain your quality of life?

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Can You Become a Clutch Player?

One way to think about this comes from the world of sports. “Clutch players” are those who consistently perform well when there’s a lot on the line. Think of athletes known for performing remarkably well even under high pressure:

Biles, Bolt, Borg, Brady, Curry, Federer, Gretzky, Hamm, Jokic, Jordan, Jeter, Kobe, LeBron, Messi, Montana, Navratilova, Pele, Ronaldo, Serena, Steffi, Tiger, Wambach

Like these greats, how can you stay calm in the storm?

 

How to Thrive amidst Chaos and Uncertainty

Here are 12 major things you can do to thrive in life and work amidst chaos and uncertainty:

 

Develop a Routine

Routines help you maintain a sense of normalcy. They give your life a rhythm and sense of stability even during jumbled days. Keep a consistent sleep schedule and exercise schedule, take regular breaks, and set clear work spans.

 

Lean on Good Habits

What helps get your mind off work? What energizes you? What restores and replenishes you? Is it walks? Reading? Hiking? Meditation? Prayer? Gardening? Yoga? Music? Lean on your good habits and you’ll find that they help you weather the storm.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Take Care of Your Health

Your health should be a non-negotiable top priority. You’ll need it all the more when things are in disarray. Don’t neglect these essential health practices:

  • Exercise & Movement: commit to daily movement—whether it’s a walk, stretch, or workout—to ground your mind, release stress, and reclaim a sense of control. It’s deeply restorative on many levels.
  • Food & Nutrition: nourish your body with a diverse array of natural foods to boost your energy and fuel your mind with essential nutrients and hydration.
  • Sleep: have a calming bedtime routine and stick to a consistent schedule, giving your mind and body the reset they need to face each day’s challenges. Poor sleep will only dampen your mood and prevent you from responding effectively to difficulties.
  • Getting Outside and Being in Nature: step outside—even briefly—to clear your head and notice the beauty around you. The natural rhythm of things. Go on walks, hikes, runs, bikes, or park, lake, or beach visits. And why not with a friend?

 

Connect with Friends and Loved Ones

Spending time with a trusted friend or colleague can raise your spirits and help you see challenges from a new perspective. The same is true for mutual support groups. (See our article, “The Power of Small Groups—And How to Run Them.”) Healthy support systems are like strong roots that keep you grounded, especially when life feels uncertain. Resist the temptation to shrink back into a cocoon. Loneliness and isolation are insidious.

 

Focus on What You Can Control

Uncertainty often triggers anxiety. You may feel like you’re losing control or unable to cope. Redirect your energy to things within your influence—like your schedule, mindset, habits, and responses.

 

Return to Your Safe Harbor

What are the things that ground you and bring you back home to yourself when there are stormy seas?

  • Do you have a clear sense of your purpose—of why you’re here and why you get up in the morning?
  • Are you aware of your core values—what’s most important to you and your core beliefs—and are you upholding them in your life?
  • To what extent are you using your strengths in your life and work?
  • Are you integrating your passions—things that consumes you with palpable emotion over time—into your life and work regularly?
  • To what extent are you engaging deeply with your faith or spirituality (e.g., through prayer, worship, contemplation, sanctuary, nature appreciation, fasting, or other practices and traditions)?

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Have a Bias toward Action

Avoid the trap of analysis paralysis. It’s likely to accelerate your anxiety. Choosing action over endless deliberation helps you regain momentum through the power of progress. Even small steps forward build confidence and reveal new learnings or possibilities.

 

Maintain Perspective

Rise above the fray and see the bigger picture to avoid getting lost in the weeds of confusion and setbacks. Recall that challenges are only part of the journey and not the whole story.

 

Keep Growing and Giving

Continue learning new skills. Reflect on what life may be teaching you. And don’t stop giving to others in ways large or small. When you remain committed to growth and generosity, you can shift from feeling powerless to purposeful.

 

Reframe Challenges as Growth Opportunities

Reframe things from difficulties or defeats to challenges or opportunities. Chances to learn and grow. Watch how managing your mindset can build your confidence and fuel your motivation.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Keep Your Hope Alive

Despite all the chaos and uncertainty, can you maintain a powerful and abiding hope that you’ll be okay and that things will get better if you stay the course and do your best? Why not choose hope and faith over resignation and despair?

 

Take Full Responsibility

Things may be tough for you now, and you may not have much visibility into how things will work out. Even so, are you taking full responsibility for the choices you make and for the conditions of your life—regardless of what has happened and why? It’s still your life to lead as you see fit.

 

More Things You Can Do

Beyond the major things above, there are also smaller but still impactful things you can do to help navigate the chaos and uncertainty. For example:

 

Conclusion

In the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty around us, you have more power than you think. Power to survive and thrive. By leading yourself well and engaging in renewal practices, you can create order and stability from the inside out. These practices don’t stop the storms, but they help you stand strong through them.

Will you be unstable and unmoored or resilient and ready for whatever life brings you? The choice is yours. Here’s to thriving amidst chaos and uncertainty. Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Thriving amidst Chaos and Uncertainty

  • “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.” -Alan Watts, British philosopher
  • “In life itself, there is a time to seek inner peace, a time to rid oneself of tension and anxiety. The moment comes when the striving must let up, when wisdom says, ‘Be quiet.’ You’ll be surprised how the world keeps on revolving without your pushing it. And you’ll be surprised how much stronger you are the next time you decide to push.” -John W. Gardner, public official and political reformer
  • “Having a readily available sanctuary provides an indispensable physical anchor and source of sustenance. Too often under stress and pressed for time, our sources of sanctuary are the first places we give up.” -Ronald A. Heifetz and Marty Linsky, leadership authors
  • “At a deeper level, we need ‘sanctuary’ in our lives: places and practices of peace that restore our hearts. Places of quiet and tranquility. Together, renewal and sanctuary can lead to serenity. Beyond the striving, beyond the chase, beyond the willfulness, there is an acceptance, a yielding, a comfort with the present moment and a willingness to see things for what they are and ride with the flow of life. The serenity beyond the stress and struggle.” -Gregg Vanourek, “Ten Keys to Self-Leadership”

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Problem with Complacency

by

Complacency is one of the most dangerous and devious traps we can fall into. It lulls us into a false sense of comfort, blinding us to the risks we should be addressing and the growth we could be pursuing. Whether it’s our health, relationships, career, or leadership, complacency keeps us stuck instead of moving forward.

Examples abound. For instance, a worker might stay in a role she’s outgrown, missing out on more challenging and fulfilling opportunities. A manager may ignore early signs of conflict among team members, allowing tensions to escalate. A husband might stop expressing appreciation for his wife. Sure enough, she starts to feel unseen and undervalued.

 

The Signs of Complacency

When you’re complacent, you start to take things for granted and slip into routines that make life feel monotonous. You stick with what you know and slowly stop pushing yourself.

Are you taking the easy way?
Resisting change?
Avoiding risk?
Do you feel your drive dulling and your spark dimming?

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

The Problem with Complacency

Over time, this will deflate your ambition and lead to drifting and settling in life. Comfort and satisfaction aren’t bad. They’re actually essential parts of a fulfilling life. But if you have too much of them, you may stop growing and dreaming. And you may no longer be in pursuit of what truly matters. Complacency can be a silent threat to your well-being, growth, and performance.

Here are 8 downsides of complacency, along with the deeper problems they cause:

1. Complacency can sap your motivation. When you become too comfortable, you stop feeling the urgency or desire to strive for more. Without motivation, you stop reaching for your potential and stagnate.

2. Complacency can lead to inaction when action is warranted. It lulls you into believing everything is fine, even when you need a change. As a result, you miss critical moments when decisive steps could make a difference.

3. Complacency can prevent you from making needed improvements. You may ignore areas where growth or progress is possible because you feel things are “good enough.” This mindset keeps you from evolving and advancing.

4. Complacency can dilute your initiative. You start to settle and no longer believe that better outcomes are possible or worth pursuing. Over time, it drains the life out of you as you lose more and more hope.

5. Complacency can lead to mediocre or poor performance. By not challenging yourself, you operate below your capabilities. You begin to accept average as your standard. In the process, you start losing your credibility and the respect of others (and yourself).

6. Complacency can lead to missed opportunities. You fail to prepare and position yourself for what’s ahead. You miss your window of opportunity. Exciting rewards elude you.

7. Complacency can derail your career. In fast-moving environments, staying still equates to falling behind. Without adaptation, you lose your edge and risk becoming irrelevant or overlooked. You become a casualty of change and disruption.

8. Complacency can lead to living by default, to not really choosing the life you’re living. Are you letting life happen to you instead of shaping it? This can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and regret. To a life far from the one you really want.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Conclusion

The complacency trap can quietly steal some of your most valuable assets—the drive to grow and achieve and the deep fulfillment that comes from putting yourself on the line and attempting hard things. It’s a subtle danger because it’s natural to seek peace and comfort.

But between passive ease and frantic striving lies something powerful—a place of purposeful living, meaningful action, and arousing adventure. That’s where you can thrive—pursuing what matters and making a difference while cherishing the time you’ve been given.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg Vanourek

 

Reflection Questions

  1. What are you complacent about?
  2. How is it undermining you?
  3. What will you do about it, starting today?

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Complacency

  • “Never be passive about your life… ever, ever.” -Robert Egger, social entrepreneur and activist
  • “The life you have left is a gift. Cherish it. Enjoy it now, to the fullest. Do what matters, now.” -Leo Babauta, founder, Zen Habits
  • “Complacency keeps you living a comfortable life… not the life you desire. Challenge yourself to do something different. Then, notice the new charged quality of your life.” -Nina Amir, writer
  • “Just floating along from one year to the next, accepting things as they present themselves without question or intention, is a surefire recipe for dissatisfaction and despair in later life. Living the default life is… living a life that isn’t really of our own choosing. It’s living a life that inevitably gives rise to questions like ‘Where did all the time go?’ ‘How did my life pass so quickly?’ and ‘Why did I squander my one precious opportunity for living?’” -Richard Leider and David Shapiro, Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old? The Path of Purposeful Aging
  • “The tragedy of life is often not in our failure, but rather in our complacency; not in our doing too much, but rather in our doing too little; not in our living above our ability, but rather in our living below our capacities.” -Benjamin E. Mays, activist and rights leader
  • “There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” -Nelson Mandela, South African anti-apartheid activist and politician
  • “Complacency is a blight that saps energy, dulls attitudes, and causes a drain in the brain. The first symptom is satisfaction with things as they are. The second is rejection of things it as they might be. ’Good enough’ becomes days today’s watchword and tomorrow’s standard.” -Alex and Brett Harris
  • “So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” -Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

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Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!