Create a life you love with Gregg's "Crafting Your Life and Work course"

Linkedin X-twitter Facebook Youtube
Traps
Test

Careers

The 7 Most Common Career Regrets (And What They Tell Us)

by

Got career regrets? Talk to almost any experienced professional and you’ll hear some version of a career regret. It can be staying too long in a bad situation. Or playing it too safe. Ignoring an inner nudge to change. Making choices for the wrong reasons. Getting lost in work. Roads not taken. Years spent pursuing someone else’s definition of success.

According to a survey of 1,000 workers in the U.S., U.K., France, and Germany:

  • 66% of workers have work-related regrets.
  • “Half of people regret being in their chosen career.” (O’Neill, 2025)

Here are the seven most common career regrets, according to the research:

 

Regret: Choosing a career based only on financial considerations and neglecting other important factors, like purpose, passion(s), flexibility, and autonomy. (Gulati, 2012; Pillemer, 2012)

Daniel Gulati interviewed 30 professionals ranging from age 28 to 58, asking each person about their biggest career regret so far. He writes, “By far the biggest regret of all came from those who opted into high-paying but ultimately dissatisfying careers.” (Gulati, 2012)

Dr. Karl Pillemer conducted a research project over decades that involved responses from more than 1,200 elders (age 65 and older, but most in their 70s and 80s), asking them about the important lessons they’re like to pass on to younger people. A key finding:

“…the elders believe that the biggest career mistake people make is selecting a profession based only on potential earnings. A sense of purpose and passion for one’s work beats a bigger paycheck any day.” (Pillemer, 2012)

 

Regret: Choosing a career based on what others think you should do (i.e., the influence of parents, teachers, classmates, society) instead of what you want to do. (Tieger et al., 2013)

The pressures are real. Especially when you’re young and still learning about yourself and not yet clear on all the options—or how to choose.

  • “One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” -Shannon L. Alder, author
  • “…occupational regret is lived out on a daily basis as individuals labor in occupations they wish they had never entered.” -Wrzesniewski, A., Tosti, J., and Landman, J. (Yale, 2006)

 

Regret: Spending too much time in job that makes you unhappy, without looking for a new job. (Pillemer, 2012)

Many people are stuck in frustrating work situations. A bad boss. A toxic culture. Too much office politics. Academic researchers talk about “career inaction,” “stagnaters,” and “dysfunctional staying.” According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, more people regret staying at a job too long (58%), as opposed to quitting a job (38%).

  • “I wish I’d not spent so many years in an average job. Life is over so quickly.” -Pearl, an Australian retiree, as told to Bronnie Ware in The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
  • “Almost uniformly, those who had actually quit their jobs to pursue their passions wished they had done so earlier.” (Gulati, 2012)
  • “A big part of me looks back and thinks, ‘you know, you’ve been doing this since you were… twenty-five—you’re now nearly forty.’ And I’m thinking ‘that whole time you’ve had periods of regret, so maybe it’s not for you.’” -teacher, cited in Budjanovcanin, A., & Woodrow, C. (2022)

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Regret: Getting so caught up in your career that you neglect other important aspects of your life, like health, family, and friendships. (O’Neill, 2025; Ware, 2019)

According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, 59% of workers regret not prioritizing work-life balance in their career. (O’Neill, 2025)

“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard…. What a stupid fool I was. I worked too damn hard and now I am a lonely, dying man. The worst part is that I have been lonely for the whole of my retirement and I need not have been…. There is nothing wrong with loving your work and wanting to apply yourself to it, but there is so much more to life.” -John, retired Australian businessman, as told to Bronnie Ware in The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

 

Regret: Not developing the confidence to change your career or start your own business. (Gulati, 2012; O’Neill, 2025; Pink, 2022)

Often, people feel a pull or have a hunch, but then they let their doubts seep in or they keep putting it off.* According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, 44% of workers regret not making a career change. (O’Neill, 2025)

  • “One of the most robust findings, in the academic research and my own, is that over time we are much more likely to regret the chances we didn’t take than the chances we did…. What haunts us is the inaction itself…. One especially common boldness regret was not starting a business of one’s own.” (Pink, 2022)
  • “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” -Sydney J. Harris, journalist and author
  • (I regret) “not leaving my safe job to follow my instinct and stay true to my core values sooner.” -Pennsylvania man, age 56 (Pink, 2022)
Source: Dan Pink, The Power of Regret (New York: Riverhead Books, 2022).

 

Regret: Thinking you have plenty of time, when in reality things go by astonishingly quickly. (Pillemer, 2012)

“Time is of the essence: Live as though life is short—because it is. The point is not to be depressed by this knowledge but to act on it, making sure to do important things now. The older the respondent, the more likely they were to say that life goes by astonishingly quickly. Said one elder: ‘I wish I’d learned that in my thirties instead of in my sixties!’” -Karl Pillemer, “Top 10 Lessons for Living from the Wisest Americans”

 

Regret: Not taking advantage of opportunities that come along. (Gulati, 2012; Pillemer, 2012)

Maybe it was the lateral move to a different department you turned down because it felt risky. The speaking invitation you declined out of imposter syndrome. Or the chance to lead a high-visibility project you passed on because you didn’t feel ready yet.

“I regret not having the courage to be more bold earlier in my career and caring too much what other people thought of me.” -South-African woman, age 33 (Pink, 2022)

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

More Career Regrets

The above regrets are the most common ones, according to the research. But there are other important regrets as well. For example:

  • Not asking for a raise or promotion. According to a survey of 1,000 workers in four countries, 60% of workers regret not asking for a pay increase, 51% regret not asking for a promotion, and 58% regret not negotiating their salary when they first took a job. (O’Neill, 2025)
  • Not building a professional network sooner.
  • Not investing in professional development and continuous learning.
  • Not speaking up or advocating for yourself (e.g., not sharing your accomplishments, needs, concerns, or ideas, which can lead to getting overlooked for promotions or opportunities).
  • Going it alone and not seeking mentorship or guidance.
  • Staying too long with one employer and forgoing chances to accelerate growth by moving to another organization(s).

 

The Challenges of Career Crafting

This research on the most common career regrets may sound straightforward, but let’s be honest: these matters of career crafting and change are far from easy in many cases.

You may be consumed by personal and professional obligations, making it hard to step out of the grind and work on change. The “switching costs” of career change can be high. Your identity can be wrapped up in your current work or profession.

Perhaps you’re risk-averse by nature. You can get trapped by “analysis paralysis.” Do you think it’s too late to make a change now? You may feel overloaded by options and not clear on what to do next. Or you may lack confidence to make desired changes.

All understandable. But keep in mind that work takes up such a big part of your life. Isn’t it worth crafting your life and work intentionally—and avoiding as many of these career regrets as you can?

This research on the most common career regrets can be catalytic, but only if you pay attention to it and heed its warnings. Is the regret about a mistake you’ve made, or really about something you haven’t lived into? Yet.

Sure, these career regrets can be ominous. But they can also become a blueprint for your next breakthrough.

Wishing you well with it. Let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Career Regrets

  • “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Sarah Frances Brown (often misattributed to Mark Twain)
  • “Ten years from now, what will you regret never having tried?” -Alan Webber, Rules of Thumb
  • “…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are

 

References

-Daniel Gulati, “The Top Five Career Regrets,” Harvard Business Review, December 14, 2012.

-Heather O’Neill, “Resume Now’s International Survey Finds 66% of Workers Suffer From Career Regrets,” ResumeNow.com, January 8, 2025. Another data point: When more than 29,000 people were asked this in a survey–“If you could do it all over again, would you choose the same career you’re in now?”–59 percent said no. Source: “Job Happiness Poll: Most Americans Wish They Could Hit Reset Button on Their Careers,” Parade, August 31, 2012, citing the Parade/Yahoo! Finance Job Happiness Survey.

-Karl Pillemer, 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans (Avery, 2012). Dr. Pillemer is a gerontologist and professor at Cornell University who studies aging and conducts research on older adults’ life experiences and wisdom.

-Dan Pink, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Makes Us Move Forward (Riverhead Books, 2022). For this book, author Dan Pink surveyed 4,489 Americans across ages, races, genders, and socioeconomic levels. He also launched a companion website that collected open-ended regrets from more than 15,000 people in 105 countries. Pink found that nearly all regrets fall into four categories:

  1. foundation regrets: wishing you had made better decisions early on that would have set you up for success later, like saving money, staying in school, or taking care of your health.
  2. boldness regrets: wishing you had taken a chance or spoken up when you had the opportunity, instead of playing it safe out of fear.
  3. moral regrets: wishing you had done the right thing in a moment when you chose the easier, selfish, or dishonest path instead.
  4. connection regrets: wishing you had reached out to maintain or repair a relationship that drifted apart or ended, leaving things unsaid or unresolved.

-Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You through the Secrets of Personality Type (Little, Brown and Company, 2013).

-Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Hay House, 2019). Bronnie Ware is an Australian palliative care nurse who documented the common regrets expressed by patients in their final weeks of life, which she compiled into this book.

* To help avoid these kinds of regrets, Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, recommends the following: When facing a major decision, imagine yourself at age 80 looking back on your life and ask which choice would give you fewer regrets.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Career Tips for Young Professionals

by

The job market today? It’s tough. If you’re a young professional just starting out, or even a few years in, you know the feeling: the landscape is brutal and the competition is fierce.

Consider the following: The unemployment rate for new job market entrants—including recent college graduates and others just beginning their full-time careers—reached a nine-year high this year, according to federal data. Their share of the total unemployed population also climbed to its highest level in decades.

Meanwhile, the once-reliable path from college to career may be breaking down. For the first time in modern history, the bachelor’s degree is failing to deliver on its core promise of access to white-collar jobs, according to researchers at The Burning Glass Institute, a labor-focused research and data lab. Federal data shows that 20- to 24-year-olds with bachelor’s degrees now face the highest relative unemployment levels of any education group.*

U.S. Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell has pointed out that we’re in a “low-firing, low-hiring environment,” which makes it tough for young workers (and others) to break into the labor force. The result for many young workers is frustration and self-doubt. One observer has called it “Gen Z’s career apocalypse.”

Landing a great job in this environment can feel like an uphill battle. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to approach the beginning of your career.

But here’s the good news: there are great opportunities out there if you know how to approach things and differentiate yourself.

 

Career Tips for Young Professionals

Given this challenging context, here are 12 career tips for young professionals:

1. Know yourself deeply. That means knowing your personal values (what’s most important to you), your strengths (the things at which you most excel), your passions (the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time), and your purpose (why you’re here). This requires time for reflection. Knowing yourself well gives you a strong personal foundation—and safe harbor in the storms. That will help you stay true to your own guiding lights and not get caught up in chasing other people’s definitions of success.

“…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are

2. Focus on learning and growth. When considering job options (if you’re fortunate enough to have them), prioritize opportunities for learning and growth. Find out whether the organization offers valuable learning and development opportunities.

Adopt a “growth mindset” (not a fixed mindset), and look for organizations with a “learn-it-all” culture (not a “know-it-all” culture). Your ability to learn quickly and adapt will serve you well. Be curious, ask questions, and seek feedback (and get good at receiving and acting on it). Develop a consistent habit of lifelong learning.

“…prioritize continuous learning and skill development…. Investing in your ongoing learning not only boosts your current job performance but also positions you for future career opportunities, showcasing your commitment to personal and professional growth and enhancing your adaptability in a dynamic job market.” -Cole Amstutz, Vice President of Commercial Business Development, ServiceMaster by Rice

3. In this age of technology and A.I., double down on human skills. As technology handles more and more routine tasks, your professional value is increasingly tied to uniquely human traits. Things like critical thinking, emotional intelligence (EQ), empathetic communication, and team collaboration. Machines can do a lot, but there’s no substitute for the human factor. Ultimately, strengthening your EQ and problem-solving abilities will help you navigate nuanced client or group interactions, lead teams, and drive innovation.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

4. Explore and test your career options. If you haven’t yet found that powerful combination of what you like to do, what you’re good at, and what you can get paid for, you’re wise to remain in what I call “discover mode” and try things. Get exposure to different functional areas. Consider important variables like the size (small, medium, large) and stage (early-, middle-, late-) of the venture that suits you. Be open to career pivots. Very few careers these days are straight lines. Meanwhile, each role you take can teach you something valuable if you have a growth mindset.

“One of the things is putting pressure on having that perfect solution lined up. While we should dream big, sometimes we need to make smaller moves and small experiments to build confidence and gather data and grow more organically in a new direction. In reality, what works is getting anchored in existing strengths and experiences and have a general feeling of success. There is no real way to know the answers… of what to pursue next in our careers unless we’re running small tests and learning from them.” -Jenny Blake, author and podcaster

5. Find a wave and ride it. Venture capitalist Erik Straser wisely urges young workers to find a powerful market trend that will continue for decades and take advantage of it. (Examples: AI, automation, clean tech, smart infrastructure, aging populations, mental health, urbanization, upskilling and reskilling, multigenerational workforces, circular economy, etc.) What are current trends that pique your interest and that you’re well positioned to help advance (or could be)? Remember: you have a choice about which industry and sector you work in.

6. Focus on building “career capital.” In his excellent book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You, Georgetown University computer science professor Cal Newport emphasizes the importance of “career capital” (vocational assets that you can leverage). You build career capital by developing and using rare and valuable skills, not by chasing prestige or convenience, and adding value to your colleagues and organization via smart and hard work. Once you have enough of it, you can trade it for desirable things like autonomy, a flexible schedule, and meaningful work. It gives you freedom and leverage to shape your career and choose work that fits you well and that matters to you.

“(Career capital) is the key currency for the work you love.”
-Cal Newport

Have a high standard of performance and do excellent work consistently. And don’t wait for permission. Take initiative by volunteering for projects, suggesting improvements, and “leading from below.”

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

7. Look for a great boss. It can make all the difference in your work experience and in the opportunities you get (or don’t get) to contribute and advance. A strong manager provides guidance, challenges you to grow, and opens doors you might never reach on your own. Good leaders help you build skills and set a foundation for long-term success. Often, choosing who you work for is just as important as what you do.

8. Vet the organizations you’re focusing on. Interviews should be a two-way street. Yes, you need to demonstrate your value and give them compelling reasons to hire you. But you should also ask thoughtful, specific questions about their culture, training, and career paths during your interviews. Doing so shows you’ve done your homework and signals that you have high standards for where you invest your time and energy. (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

9. Engage in “discovery-driven networking.” In their book, The Innovator’s DNA, Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregersen, and Clayton Christensen distinguish between two types of networking. “Delivery-driven networking” (the standard type) focuses on accessing resources, selling products, and advancing caeers. It’s transactional and focused on getting what you want. “Discovery-driven networking,” by contrast, focuses on learning new things, obtaining new perspectives, and testing ideas in process. It’s more relational and reciprocal—and effective and enjoyable.

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.”
-Keith Ferrazzi, Never Eat Alone

Your networking should be focused on building real connections, not trying to extract things from people. Seek out people who inspire you and listen deeply to their guidance. Also, make sure that your relationships are reciprocal. Be generous and help others, even when you’re young. If you take time to develop and maintain a strong network, it will be one of the greatest assets in your career.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

10. In a crowded job market, find ways to be a “purple cow.” Seth Godin’s “purple cow” is a metaphor for remarkable things that stand out so much they get noticed (like a purple cow in a field of ordinary cows). In a crowded market, being ordinary can make you invisible. Think of a hiring manager with way too much to do and a stack of fifty resumes and a full day of interviews. How can you be the person who stands out from the pack and makes the interview memorable, engaging, and fun?

11. Play the long game. When you’re young, it’s easy to get caught up in immediate concerns like starting pay or benefits. Yes, those are important—but still only pieces of the bigger picture. Focus on opportunities that help you grow, build valuable skills, and work on things that truly matter to you. (It helps to develop a vision of the good life, including clarity about what a good career looks like for you.) And make sure you’re not caught up in your own ego. Never stop asking yourself how you’ll serve and make a difference.

“Be patient, but don’t get complacent. Exercise some patience while putting in the work today that will get you closer to achieving your long-term goals. In a society that wants everything on demand, be willing to sacrifice some short-term gains in order to reach greater success in the long run.” -Nick Blyth, Senior Vice President, Holmes Murphy

12. Don’t neglect the fun factor! Enjoying what you do isn’t just a perk. It fuels your energy, creativity, and resilience. When your work engages and excites you, you’re more likely to grow, perform at your best, and stick with it long enough to build valuable skills and encounter exciting opportunities. A career you love makes your hard work worthwhile and also brings out the best of you in other settings.

 

Conclusion: Craft a Career You Love

There’s no doubt the job market today is challenging and competitive. It may feel hopeless sometimes. But you have agency.

You’re at the start of a career journey that will likely span several decades. You’ll be spending a huge portion of your life at work. Your career isn’t something that happens to you or something you should settle for or stumble into. It’s something you can choose and craft if you play it smart.

So, take responsibility, be intentional about your choices, and recognize that every move you make today can start setting you up for a better tomorrow. The market may be tough, but with clarity about who you are and what you want—and conviction about building a career you love—you can rise to the challenge.

Wishing you well with it, and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

Tools for You

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

Related Articles & Resources

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Career Tips for Young Professionals

  • “One of the best pieces of advice for young people is, Get to yourself quickly. If you know what you want to do, start doing it.” -David Brooks, The Second Mountain
  • “The deepest vocational question is not ‘What ought I to do with my life?’ It is the more elemental and demanding ‘Who am I? What is my nature?’” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “Big career decisions don’t come with a map, but all you need is a compass. In an unpredictable world, you can’t make a master plan. You can only gauge whether you’re on a meaningful path. The right next move is the one that brings you a step closer to living your core values.” -Adam Grant, professor
  • “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “Don’t obsess over finding your true calling. Instead, master rare and valuable skills. Once you build up the career capital that these skills generate, invest it wisely. Use it to acquire control over what you do and how you do it, and to identify and act on a life-changing mission.” -Cal Newport
  • “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey, educator and author
  • “Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.” -Warren Buffett, investor
  • “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”–Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “Align where you spend your time with what you care about the most. You’ll connect with like-minded leaders and feel the fulfillment of living out your purpose each day.” -Shannon Draayer, Director of Health and Well-being, WesleyLife
  • “Shadow Career is the term used to describe people who go on an alternative path from their true dream because they’ve given up on themselves.” -Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Be Your Future Self Now
  • “We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
  • “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.” -Victor Frankl, psychologist, author, and Holocaust survivor
  • “…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material, and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
  • “Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette, author
  • “Don’t be afraid or guilty to switch directions. You are not a failure for changing your mind on what you choose to do with your life. As someone who ended up finding a different career path, I initially struggled with this, but over time, I have taken comfort in realizing the ability to adapt and change is a skill.” -Dannie Patrick, Community Foundation of Greater Des Moines
  • “Networking isn’t just about collecting business cards; it’s about genuinely connecting with people, understanding their needs and finding ways to add value to their lives or businesses. Invest time in cultivating meaningful connections, both within and outside your industry. These relationships can open doors, provide valuable insights and even lead to unexpected opportunities down the road.” -Erin Knupp, Director of Business Development, Beal Derkenne Construction

* The Burning Glass Institute partly attributes the problem to the growing number of young Americans earning four-year degrees, outpacing demand for such workers—a gap unlikely to close soon. Also, the rise of artificial intelligence threatens entry-level knowledge jobs. A recent Stanford study found that U.S. workers ages 22 to 25 in AI-exposed roles have seen a 13% drop in employment since 2022.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Rating Your Job: A Work Satisfaction Checkup

by

Article Summary: 

Many people spend a huge portion of their lives at work, yet often struggle with bad bosses, unsupportive workplaces, or jobs that leave them drained. This work satisfaction checkup helps you rate your job so you can identify needed changes. If you’re wondering ‘How do I rate my job?’ this checklist can help.

+++

You probably spend much of your life at work. The quality of your work life can deeply affect your mental health, growth, happiness, energy, sense of meaning, and overall life satisfaction.

“Hundreds of studies have shown that job satisfaction and life satisfaction are positively related, and causal:
liking your job causes you to be happier all around.”
-Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, Build the Life You Want:
The Art and Science of Getting Happier

Unfortunately, many people work for bad bosses or labor in lame workplaces. According to Gallup, employee engagement hit a 10-year low in 2024.

“The way we’re working isn’t working.”
-Tony Schwartz, The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working
“Every worker needs to escape the wrong job.”
-Peter Drucker
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that.
It’s called EVERYBODY and they meet at the bar.”
-George Carlin, comedian

Here’s a quick checkup to help you see how things are going with your work—and where some extra attention could make a big difference.

 

Work Satisfaction Checkup: Rating Your Job

Review the factors below and rate them using the scale provided.

 

Work Environment

Do you feel safe and supported in your workspace, both physically and psychologically? Are the work site, tools, and resources conducive to your best work? Are you free from hazards, exploitation, bullying, and abuse?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Workload

Do you have a reasonable and manageable workload that allows you to do your work without constant or excessive stress or burnout—and without harming your health and personal life? Are expectations realistic and deadlines achievable? Do you have clear visibility into your obligations and schedule so you can plan effectively?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Compensation*

Are you paid fairly for what you do, taking into account your skill level, responsibilities, peers, industry benchmarks, cost of living in your area, and the value of your contributions? Is the pay structure transparent and predictable, with clear opportunities for increases over time? Does your total compensation—including bonuses, incentives, or other rewards—accurately reflect your impact and results?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Benefits

Are the workplace benefits (health insurance, retirement plans, time off, etc.) sufficient and helpful to your well‐being? Do they support your life beyond work (family, health, rest, etc.)? Are they appropriate for your industry, sector, and geographic area?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Manager

Does your manager treat you fairly and with respect? Do they set clear expectations and communicate effectively? Are they reasonable in their demands and supportive of your growth and wellbeing? Do you feel comfortable bringing up concerns and confident that they’ll listen and respond appropriately?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Surveys show that one in two people at some point in their careers
have left their job to get away from their managers.”
-Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner, The Leadership Challenge

 

Flexibility

Do you have flexibility in how, when, or where you work (e.g., scheduling, remote/hybrid options)? Does the job allow you to balance work and personal life? Are you able to adjust your workload or schedule when unexpected demands arise?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Fairness

Are you treated fairly when it comes to expectations, opportunities, and rewards? Are expectations clear? Is decision-making transparent and just? Does the organization avoid discrimination and bias in all forms? Do policies, promotions, and recognition apply consistently across teams and roles?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Engagement

Do you feel invested in your work? Are you energized by your role rather than feeling drained or disengaged? Do you feel connected to your team, your manager, and the organization’s purpose and vision? Are your skills and strengths being put to use effectively?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Autonomy

Do you have enough freedom to decide how you approach your work and set priorities? Are you trusted to make your own decisions on many aspects of your job without excessive oversight? Are you adequately involved in shaping your tasks, methods, or schedule in ways that help you do your best work?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Opportunity for Advancement

Is there a clear path for you to take on greater responsibility or move up the organizational ladder? Do you see possibilities for role expansion or promotion? Are advancement opportunities based on merit and performance, and communicated transparently? Do you feel supported by your manager and organization in preparing for the next step in your career?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Learning and Growth

Are there chances to develop new skills, gain knowledge, get high-quality feedback regularly, and try things and learn from mistakes? Does your organization provide sufficient training opportunities, and does your work stretch you (in a good way)? Does your work contribute to your personal growth? And does your manager encourage and support your development?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Opportunity for Achievement

Are you able to work toward excellence and mastery? Do you have goals to strive for? Do you receive feedback that helps you recognize your progress and identify ways to improve?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“The secret of joy in work is contained in one word—excellence.
To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.”
-Pearl S. Buck

 

Contribution

Does your work allow you to serve and contribute in ways that matter—to your team, organization, clients, and/or society? Do you feel your efforts make a tangible difference? Are you given opportunities to share ideas, take initiative, and have an impact beyond your core responsibilities?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Use of Strengths

Are you able to use your strengths (the things at which you most excel) in your work regularly? Do your tasks align with what energizes you and allows you to shine? Are you encouraged to leverage your unique skills to solve problems, lead initiatives, or contribute in other ways?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Progress on Meaningful Work

Do you have opportunities to get involved in projects that feel meaningful to you—aligned with your core values, worthy challenges, or something you care about? Are you able to make progress on them (not stuck in “busywork”)? Does your organization’s work serve a larger purpose?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work. And the more frequently people experience that sense of progress, the more likely they are to be creatively productive in the long run. Whether they are trying to solve a major scientific mystery or simply produce a high-quality product or service, everyday progress—even a small win—can make all the difference in how they feel and perform.”
-Teresa M. Amabile and Steven J. Kramer, “The Power of Small Wins,” Harvard Business Review, May 2011

 

Belonging

Do you feel part of the team? At work, do you feel that your manager and colleagues care about you? Do you feel accepted, included, and respected by your colleagues and managers? And do you have a network of supportive and reliable colleagues?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Recognition

When you and your colleagues do good work, is it noticed? Do you receive appreciation and recognition that acknowledges your contributions? Is recognition timely, specific, and meaningful? Do you feel valued not just for outcomes, but also for effort, initiative, creativity, and collaboration?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

 

Trust

Is there a high level of mutual trust between you and your peers, your boss, and others throughout your organization? Do you feel you can rely on others—and that they can rely on you? Are people honest, transparent, and consistent in their words and actions? Do you feel safe speaking up, sharing ideas, or admitting mistakes without fear of negative consequences?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“…trust is the most significant predictor of individuals’ satisfaction within their organizations.”
-James Kouzes and Barry Posner

 

Values Fit

Are you asked to compromise on your values or beliefs? Does your work—and your organization’s purpose, values, vision, culture, and priorities—align with what matters to you? Do you feel proud of the work you do and the impact it has? Does your organization’s behavior match its stated values?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“I had chosen to use my work as a reflection of my values.”
-Sidney Poitier, actor, director, and activist

 

Enjoyment

Do you enjoy going to work and doing what you do? Are there enough moments of fun, humor, satisfaction, and flow? Do you feel energized by your work day rather than drained? Are there aspects of your role that make you look forward to contributing and collaborating with others?

1: Needs Work
2: Doing Fine
3: Thriving

“Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.”
-Warren Buffett

 

What to Do with this Work Satisfaction Checkup

Here are tips on ways you can get the most out of this process for rating your job.

Celebrate: Identify and celebrate the areas you rated yourself as “thriving.” Also, think about what conditions make them possible so you can build more of them.

Assess the Big Picture. Look at your evaluation as a whole. Determine whether your workplace is good enough overall that it’s worth staying and trying to improve things, or if it has too many systemic problems that would be difficult or slow to fix. This can help you decide whether to invest in making changes where you are or to look for opportunities elsewhere. (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

Identify Growth Areas: Pick one or two areas where you feel you need the most work, given the lower rating and the relative importance to you. (But don’t choose more than one or two to address initially. There’s great power in focus.)

Brainstorm Small Action Steps: For each of those areas, what’s one concrete thing you could do about it? Examples:

  • Ask your manager for input, feedback, and/or career development support.
  • Propose a new project that aligns with your strengths, passions, and values.
  • Ask your manager for more flexibility or a schedule adjustment while noting specifically how you’ll be able to support your team, meet your responsibilities, and achieve your performance goals.

Hold Yourself Accountable: Revisit this work satisfaction checkup in a few months to see what’s improved. Share your plans with a trusted colleague, mentor, or friend and ask them to check in with you about it in a set period of time (e.g., three months).

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Caution: Avoid the Danger of Passivity and Cynicism

It’s easy to fall into the habit of complaining about what’s wrong at work, ruminating on your frustrations, or assuming you can’t change things. But passivity and cynicism can quietly erode your motivation and capacity. Remember: you have agency.

Yes, the current job market is challenging, making it hard for many people to leave difficult jobs. Not everyone has the privilege of plentiful options or the freedom to walk away. And yet, even in challenging circumstances, it’s important not to slip into inertia or resignation.

You often have more control and influence over your work life than you realize—whether through proactive conversations, small improvements, or reframing how you approach your role. Or your mindset. Consider “job crafting”: intentionally shaping your tasks, relationships, and perceptions at work to better align with your strengths, passions, and values. Taking proactive steps gives you a sense of control and can dramatically enhance your work life.

 

Conclusion

Doing well at work isn’t just about salary, success, prestige, or “climbing the ladder.” It’s also about feeling valued, engaged, and aligned. About growing and contributing. And enjoying the ride.

Use this work satisfaction checkup as a mirror: not to shame you, but to guide your awareness and stimulate purposeful and focused action. Small actions—taken consistently over time—can boost the quality of your work life dramatically.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Related Articles & Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Work Satisfaction and Rating Your Job

  • “…the problem isn’t how hard you’re working, it’s that you’re working on things that aren’t right for you. Your goals and motivations aren’t harmonizing with your deepest truth.” -Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity
  • “Being good at whatever we want to do—playing the violin, running a race, painting a picture, leading a group of people—is among the deepest sources of fulfillment we will ever know.” Geoff Colvin, Talent Is Overrated
  • “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey
  • “We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
  • “People in organizations are primarily looking for meaning in their work. But not many leaders act as though they believe that’s what really motivates people. They think money motivates people. At the end of the day, people want to know they’ve done something meaningful.” -Bill George
  • “…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are
  • “Work can provide the opportunity for spiritual and personal, as well as financial, growth. If it doesn’t, we are wasting far too much of our lives on it.” -James A. Autry, author
  • “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.” -Johnny Carson
  • “It is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.” -Jim Collins
  • “The thought once occurred to me that if one wanted to crush and destroy a man entirely, to mete out to him the most terrible punishment, one at which the most fearsome murderer would tremble, shrinking from it in advance, all one would have to do would be to make him do work that was completely and utterly devoid of usefulness and meaning.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  • “Money sometimes costs too much.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “In our time, we workers are being called to reexamine our work: how we do it; whom it is helping or hurting; what it is we do; and what we might be doing if we were to let go of our present work and follow a deeper call.” -Matthew Fox
  • “To be happy I think you have to be doing something you not only enjoy, but admire.” -Paul Graham
  • “Work to become, not to acquire.” -Elbert Hubbard
  • “The highest reward of a person’s toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes through it.” -John Ruskin
  • “Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette
  • “When you’re doing the work you’re meant to do, it feels right and every day is a bonus, regardless of what you’re getting paid.” -Oprah Winfrey
  • “Having a bad boss isn’t your fault. Staying with one is.” -Nora Denzel, tech executive
  • “…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
  • “Some people thrive when they find joy in how they earn a living, but others are at peace with less emotional connection to their work and instead relish the joy in their passions outside their nine-to-five.” -David Anderson, business executive

* Pay dissatisfaction is a leading cause of frustration or disappointment with work, according to the research. “One of the aspects of work that employed adults express the least satisfaction with is how much they are paid. Large majorities of workers who are not self-employed and who are not too or not at all satisfied with their pay cite each of the following as major reasons:

  • Their pay hasn’t kept up with increases in cost of living (80%)
  • Their pay is too low for the quality of work they do (71%)
  • Their pay is too low for the amount of work they do (70%)

Just over half (54%) say a major reason for their dissatisfaction with their pay is that they don’t earn enough to pay their bills. A smaller share (28%) say they are paid less than co-workers who do similar work.”

(Source: Pew Research Center Report on job satisfaction, December 2024)

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). He has worked for market-leading ventures and given talks or workshops in 8 countries. Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Most Common Myths about Passion and Work

by

Just follow your passion. Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life. So goes the common advice from scads of college graduation speeches. As if it were so simple. Is it good advice? How can you find your passion anyway? What are the most common myths about passion and work? And what are the realities that bust those myths?

It helps to start with what passions are and aren’t. Researchers have defined passions as strong inclinations toward activities you value and like or love, and in which you invest your time and energy. I like to think of passions as the things that consume you with palpable emotion over time.

Signs of passion at work (whether paid or volunteer or in the household or with children) include:

  1. Loving what you do
  2. Talking often about what you like about your work
  3. Working extra even when you don’t have to

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

Find Your Passion

 

Myths about Passion and Work

For many people, the advice about following your passion feels confusing and unrealistic—and in some cases even discouraging. In fact, some of the most common messages about passion and work are based on myths that will hold you back instead of helping you move forward. Let’s set the record straight and unpack those myths.

 

Myth: You should just know what your passion is.

Reality: Many people struggle with this. The idea of finding their passion feels overwhelming. For most, passion doesn’t strike like a lightning bolt with instant clarity. Many people try out different interests for a number of years. Those who do discover their passion often go through long periods during which it wasn’t obvious.

 

Myth: You really need to find your passion.

Reality: Finding your passion isn’t the best way to think about it for many people. Business owner and author Emily Perron notes that for many people it feels like a frustrating “wild goose chase.” According to University of Pennsylvania psychology professor Angela Duckworth, passions tend to be developed more than they’re discovered, and they usually develop and deepen over time.

Finding something suggests a search with a set endpoint, or that it’s out there for you to just come upon. Developing something, by contrast, calls for growing it or causing it to grow and become more mature.

In reality, you’re likely to notice that you have certain interests and that some of these can become passions when you keep pursuing those interests long enough. Many people give up before reaching that point due to a lack of focus or discipline, a belief that work is a grind that you just endure so you can pay the bills, or settling for work that’s just okay. (Note: In advanced economies, the average person spends about 90,000 hours at work.)

 

Myth: You need to find your passion when you’re young.

Reality: For many people, passions take time to discover (and then develop and deepen). And that’s okay. That just makes your passions richer, and it helps you appreciate them.

Very few people discover their passion early in life and stick with it consistently. As we grow and gain new experiences, our interests naturally shift—and so do our passions.

With passions, as with so many things, the path is winding.

The pressure to figure it all out early in life can lead to frustration from feeling “behind” and choosing things for reasons that won’t hold up well over time. In truth, your interests and values evolve over time. It’s not a race. Instead, it’s a process of growth and discovery that tends to go much better with a blend of action and reflection, including significant time in what I call “discover mode.”

“…we may try many different jobs looking for the right ‘fit,’ the role that instantly flips the passion switch, and we may not take into account the fact that it often takes time to develop one’s passion for a job, along with the skills, confidence, and relationships that allow one to experience passion for work.”
-Jon M. Jachimowicz, “3 Reasons It’s So Hard to ‘Follow Your Passion,’” Harvard Business Review, October 15, 2019

 

Myth: Only certain kinds of jobs are amenable to passion.

(Examples: working in education, health care, social justice, the environment, etc.—or for world-changing startups or social enterprises.)*

Reality: You can integrate your passions into almost any job. Of course, if you do a good job and show that you’re a reliable and productive team member operating with integrity, that typically earns you more autonomy, respect, and credibility. But this can vary depending on how supportive your manager or team are.

Think about what makes work enjoyable, meaningful, and rewarding for you. With that lens, it’s not just about your passion for the work itself but also a number of other things, including autonomy, flexibility, financial security, benefits, healthy work environments, camaraderie, skill, flow, values, purpose, and impact.

Sure, many people are passionate about social issues, groups, or causes. But others are passionate about activities or skills (e.g., analyzing, coaching, coding, communication, data mining, editing, facilitating, healing, leading, parenting, problem-solving, etc.). There are passionate people in every field, industry, and sector.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

Myth: You only have one passion.

Reality: You can have multiple passions, and they can change over time. You may find joy in a number of pursuits. Don’t lock yourself into just one path. Instead, explore all the things that spark real curiosity or motivation.

“When I stopped trying so darn hard to find my one, true passion that I could shape my life around,
I discovered the beauty of multi-pursuits of multi-passions.”
-Emily Perron, business owner and author

 

Myth: Everyone wants their passion incorporated into their job.

Reality: According to the research of University of Pennsylvania Professor Amy Wrzesniewski and others, people have different orientations toward their work (i.e., viewing it as a job, career, or calling). Those with a job orientation view work as means to an end. They work for pay and benefits to support their family and hobbies, and they prefer jobs that don’t interfere with personal life. They’re not as likely to have a strong connection to work as those with a career or calling orientation.

Also, when you turn your passion into your work, there’s a risk of stealing some of its magic as you get bogged down in deadlines and deliverables.

“Some people thrive when they find joy in how they earn a living, but others are at peace with less emotional connection to their work and instead relish the joy in their passions outside their nine-to-five.”
-David Anderson, business executive

 

Myth: Following your passion will lead you to success.

Reality: It’s not entirely wrong, but it’s vastly oversimplified and incomplete. Truth be told, it’s not enough to follow your passions. Your passions can be big performance drivers because of the fiery intensity and enduring commitment that they can help engender, but in our competitive world you still need a business model. You need to add value and do things that others are willing to pay you for—and spread the word about who you can help and how in a noisy world. Meanwhile, not all passions are well-suited to being your primary occupation or to generating your required income.

 

Myth: A passion should last forever.

Reality: Your passions must be tended to, or they might wither and die. They can fade over time as you go through different seasons of life. Two things can help prevent that:

  1. purpose: when you connect your passions to a deeper sense of meaning, you tap into a more sustainable source of energy.
  2. novelty: exploring fresh ways to engage your passions—with new people or in different contexts—can keep them vibrant and alive.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Myth: Pursuing your passion is selfish.**

Reality: As activist and writer Courtney Christenson has pointed out, neglecting your passion(s) prevents the people closest to you from knowing who you are and what drives you. It also limits your ability to make a meaningful impact, live a life of authentic alignment, and inspire others in the process.

“When you don’t pursue your passion it robs your family of truly, deeply knowing you. It robs your spouse from seeing your true self. It robs your children of their most powerful role model. (If you want them to grow up and pursue their passions, you need to show them how.) It robs the world of your voice, influence, and change-making potential. And most importantly, it robs you of truly living.” -Courtney Christenson, activist and writer

 

Myth: You have to find your passion early in life in order to be truly great at it.

Reality: You can discover, develop, and deepen a passion at virtually any stage of life—and still develop mastery with it. Examples abound, including Morgan Freeman, Toni Morrison, Samuel L. Jackson, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Ray Kroc, Colonel Sanders, Julia Child, Vera Wang, and countless others. It’s a trap to think it’s too late to develop your passions.

 

Myth: You’ll be successful and happy if you follow your passion.

Reality: Integrating your passions into your life and work can be powerfully rewarding and gratifying, but there’s much more to happiness. What about things like anticipation, savoring, gratitude, purpose, service, and healthy relationships?

 

Conclusion

There are many myths about passion and work that can lead you astray. It’s not as simple as just following your passion. Passion alone is not enough. But it may also be a big mistake for you to ignore or neglect your passions.

Passions can be a powerful part of the equation when it comes to productive and enjoyable work as well as happiness and fulfillment. But only part of the equation. Ideally, you’re wise to buttress your passions with your strengths, values, and purpose on the one hand and helping others while filling market needs with an effective business model on the other hand.

Here’s to finding ways to meet your financial needs and fulfill your obligations to your family or others while also integrating your passions into your life and work.

 

Tools for You

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

Find Your Passion

 

Related Articles & Books

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Passions

  • “Never underestimate the vital importance of finding early in life the work that for you is play. This turns possible underachievers into happy warriors.” -Ken Robinson, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything
  • “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” -Jean Shinoda Bolen, psychiatrist
  • “Allow yourself to be silently guided by that which you love the most.” -Rumi, 13th century poet and Sufi mystic
  • “If there is any difference between you and me, it may simply be that I get up every day and have a chance to do what I love to do, every day. If you want to learn anything from me, this is the best advice I can give you.” -Warren Buffett, investor
  • “I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.” -Stephen King, writer
  • “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” -Oprah Winfrey, media entrepreneur, author, and philanthropist
  • “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” -Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “If you don’t love what you’re doing, you’ll lose to someone who does! For every person who is half-hearted about their work or relationships, there is someone else who loves [it]. This person will work harder and longer. They will outrun you.” -Jerry Porras, Stewart Emery, and Mark Thompson, Success Built to Last
  • “The key to creating passion in your life is to find your unique talents, and your special role and purpose in the world. It is essential to know yourself before you decide what work you want to do.” -Stephen R. Covey, author, executive, and teacher
  • “The conventional wisdom on career success—follow your passion—is seriously flawed. It not only fails to describe how most people actually end up with compelling careers, but for many people it can actually make things worse: leading to chronic job shifting and unrelenting angst when one’s reality inevitably falls shorts of the dream.” -Cal Newport, So Good They Can’t Ignore You
  • “You may think that you’ve lost your passion, or that you can’t identify it, or that you have so much of it, it threatens to overwhelm you. None of these is true.” -Steven Pressfield, Do the Work
  • “…my recommendation would be follow your contribution. Find the thing that you’re great at, put that into the world, contribute to others, help the world be better and that is the thing to follow.” -Ben Horowitz, 2015 commencement address
  • “…expressing your passion can be beneficial because others admire you more and may help you become more successful. At the same time, it may also make it more likely they will ask you to take on tasks that fall outside of narrow job descriptions, placing you at risk of stretching yourself too thin and burning out.” -Jon M. Jachimowicz, “3 Reasons It’s So Hard to ‘Follow Your Passion,’” Harvard Business Review, October 15, 2019
  • “The message to find your passion is generally offered with good intentions, to convey: Do not worry so much about talent, do not bow to pressure for status or money, just find what is meaningful and interesting to you. Unfortunately, the belief system this message may engender can undermine the very development of people’s interests.” -O’Keefe PA, Dweck CS, Walton GM. Implicit Theories of Interest: Finding Your Passion or Developing It? Psychol Sci. 2018 Oct;29(10):1653-1664.

* Computer science professor and author Cal Newport made this point in his book, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World.

** Many women struggle with this myth, in part due to gender stereotypes and cultural conditioning.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Biggest Mistakes New Graduates Make

by

Dear new graduate: Congratulations and hats off to you! You’ve come a long way and reached a major milestone in your life.

Maybe you’ve been so busy finishing assignments and getting to graduation that you haven’t taken much time to think about what comes next. (If so, you’re not alone!)

With that in mind, here are some of the biggest mistakes new graduates make:

❌ Putting too much pressure on yourself to have it all figured out right away.

❌ Committing too early to a career path without vetting it deeply and remaining open to new and better possibilities.

❌ Not clarifying what’s important to you when it comes to work. (In addition to pay, for example, what about opportunities for learning and growth, a vibrant culture, chances to work with great people, or meaningful work?)

❌ Not doing nearly enough vetting of the organizations you’re considering working with (including their values and culture, your manager, and career path). (See my article, “How to Find a Great Organization to Work For.”)

❌ Accepting other people’s definition of success instead of defining it for yourself.

❌ Living someone else’s life.

❌ Defining yourself by comparison, as opposed to by your own core values and guiding lights.

❌ Defining self-worth by your accomplishments.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

❌ Spending your best years and trading your precious life energy on dubious things.

❌ Succeeding at something that doesn’t really matter to you.

❌ Not taking stock of your quality of life regularly.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
-Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher

❌ Chasing status and prestige in your work because of how it will make you look in the eyes of others. (See my article, “The Powerful Pull of the Prestige Magnet.”)

“An easy way to pick the wrong career is to put your image above your interests and identity. A motivating job isn’t the one that makes you look important. It’s the one that makes you feel alive. Meaningful work isn’t about impressing others. It’s about expressing your values.” -Adam Grant, organizational psychologist

❌ Assuming that “climbing the ladder” is the point of work. (See my TEDx talk on LIFE entrepreneurship and “climbing mode” versus “discover mode.”)

❌ Viewing your career as a race against your peers. (See my article, “Feeling Behind? It May Be a Trap.”)

❌ Focusing too much on material comfort and financial gain and not enough on happiness, love, personal growth, and spiritual depth. (See my article, “Beware the Disease of More.”)

❌ Assuming that worldly success will fill you up.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

❌ Giving too much of yourself or your time away to unreasonable bosses or unacceptable circumstances.

❌ Staying too long in a job that’s not a good fit or with a bad manager.

❌ Letting your life get overly full and cluttered, with not enough white space.

❌ Letting work consume too much of your life.

“…the problem isn’t how hard you’re working, it’s that you’re working on things that aren’t right for you.
Your goals and motivations aren’t harmonizing with your deepest truth.”
-Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity

❌ Not honoring your commitments to those you belong to.

❌ Losing touch with your close friends.

❌ Playing it safe in your career and not taking enough risks early on while you have more time, freedom, and flexibility—perhaps playing small out of fear.

“So many of us choose our paths in life out of fear disguised as practicality.”
-Jim Carrey, comedian and actor

❌ Thinking you’re done learning now that you have a degree.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

❌ Falling into bad habits that will cause you to waste a lot of time or drift away from your values.

❌ Not taking charge of your free time, perhaps because you’re so drained from work.

❌ Letting yourself become cynical and jaded. (See my article, “Guard Your Heart.”)

❌ Making decisions or taking actions that aren’t in line with your core values and top priorities.

❌ Not giving more of yourself to others.

❌ Neglecting opportunities for fun and adventure in your life.

❌ Not daring to put your own distinctive stamp on your workplace, community, and world.

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Conclusion

When it comes to navigating the early chapters of your career, it’s easy to focus on what other people expect of you and get lost in what our larger culture values. But it’s far better to get busy becoming who you really are.

It’s easy to get caught up in playing the short game instead of the long one—with a broader perspective on what’s important in life and what would be a life well lived.

Before you get too busy with the hustle and bustle of life and work, take the time to get to know yourself well—including your core values, strengths, passions, and vision of the good life. And learn to trust yourself as you craft a life you’ll be proud of.

Wishing you well with it—and let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Strengths Search

We all have core strengths–the things in which we most excel. Take this self-assessment to determine your core strengths so you can integrate them more into your life and work.

Find Your Strengths

 

Related Articles & Resources

Postscript: Inspirations for New Graduates

  • “Big career decisions don’t come with a map, but all you need is a compass. In an unpredictable world, you can’t make a master plan. You can only gauge whether you’re on a meaningful path. The right next move is the one that brings you a step closer to living your core values.” -Adam Grant, professor
  • “One of the things is putting pressure on having that perfect solution lined up. While we should dream big, sometimes we need to make smaller moves and small experiments to build confidence and gather data and grow more organically in a new direction. In reality, what works is getting anchored in existing strengths and experiences and have a general feeling of success. There is no real way to know the answers up to the front of what to pursue next in our careers unless we’re running small tests and learning from them.” -Jenny Blake, author and podcaster
  • “One of the best pieces of advice for young people is, Get to yourself quickly. If you know what you want to do, start doing it.” -David Brooks, The Second Mountain
  • “The deepest vocational question is not ‘What ought I to do with my life?’ It is the more elemental and demanding ‘Who am I? What is my nature?’” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “…the secret of career satisfaction lies in doing what you enjoy most. A few lucky people discover this secret early in life, but most of us are caught in a kind of psychological wrestling match, torn between what we think we can do, what we (or others) feel we ought to do, and what we think we want to do. Our advice? Concentrate instead on who you are, and the rest will fall into place.” -Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron, and Kelly Tieger, Do What You Are
  • “Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” -Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha)
  • “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” -Stephen R. Covey, educator and author
  • “Go to work for an organization or people you admire. It will turn you on. You ought to be happy where you are working. I always worry about people who say, ‘I’m going to do this for 10 years’ and ‘I’m going to do 10 more years of this.’ That’s a little like saving sex for your old age. Not a very good idea. Get right into what you enjoy.” -Warren Buffett, investor
  • “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” –Steve Jobs, co-founder, Apple
  • “Shadow Career is the term used to describe people who go on an alternative path from their true dream because they’ve given up on themselves.” -Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Be Your Future Self Now
  • “I don’t have a problem with what you do, that’s your choice. What I have a problem with is you lying to yourself about why you’re doing the things you’re doing. You have a choice.” -Jerry Colonna, co-founder and CEO, Reboot
  • “In our time, we workers are being called to reexamine our work: how we do it; whom it is helping or hurting; what it is we do; and what we might be doing if we were to let go of our present work and follow a deeper call.” -Matthew Fox, Episcopal priest and theologian
  • “We spend far too much time at work for it not to have deep meaning.” -Satya Nadella, CEO, Microsoft
  • “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.” -Victor Frankl, psychologist, author, and Holocaust survivor
  • “…God is calling you to serve Him in and from the ordinary, material, and secular activities of human life. He waits for us every day, in the laboratory, in the operating theatre, in the army barracks, in the university chair, in the factory, in the workshop, in the fields, in the home and in all the immense panorama of work. Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine, hidden in the most ordinary situations, and it is up to each one of you to discover it.” -Josemaria Escriva, Conversations
  • “Unhappy is he who depends on success to be happy. For such a person, the end of a successful career is the end of the line.” -Alex Dias Ribeiro, former Formula 1 race-car driver
  • “What shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” -Mark (8:36)
  • “Discovering vocation doesn’t mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond your reach, but rather accepting the treasure that you have been given. But make no mistake about it, well-meaning people around you—friends, family work associates, and others—will push you to run someone else’s race.” -Nicholas Pearce, pastor and professor
  • “Today I understand vocation quite differently—not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice ‘out there’ calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice ‘in here’ calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God.” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “…I (like many others) felt a wrongness in the world, a wrongness that seeped through the cracks of my privileged, insulated childhood…. Life, I knew, was supposed to be more joyful than this, more real, more meaningful, and the world was supposed to be more beautiful. We were not supposed to hate Mondays and live for the weekends and holidays…. We were not supposed to be kept indoors on a beautiful day, day after day.” -Charles Eisenstein, The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible
  • “Your career is like a garden. It can hold an assortment of life’s energy that yields a bounty for you. You do not need to grow just one thing in your garden. You do not need to do just one thing in your career.” -Jennifer Ritchie Payette, author

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Thriving Amidst Chaos and Uncertainty: 12 Tips

by

Are you facing chaos and uncertainty in your life and work now? Finding it hard to manage things or lead? You’re not alone.

You may have noticed a few disruptions lately:

  • economic instability (including tariff uncertainty and supply chain disruptions)
  • political polarization and the erosion of democratic norms
  • technological disruption (including AI risks, scams, deepfakes, and more)
  • geopolitical conflicts (including wars in Ukraine and the Middle East)
  • climate change and extreme weather events

Such disruptions come and go, but if you let them, they can have brutal impacts on your life, work, and leadership. Chaos and uncertainty can cause:

  • anxiety and stress
  • bad decisions
  • lost energy
  • blocked creativity
  • damage to your health
  • harm to your relationships
  • burnout
  • lost perspective
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.” -Paolo Coelho, Brazilian novelist

Can you keep a level head despite all the challenges? Can you maintain your quality of life?

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Can You Become a Clutch Player?

One way to think about this comes from the world of sports. “Clutch players” are those who consistently perform well when there’s a lot on the line. Think of athletes known for performing remarkably well even under high pressure:

Biles, Bolt, Borg, Brady, Curry, Federer, Gretzky, Hamm, Jokic, Jordan, Jeter, Kobe, LeBron, Messi, Montana, Navratilova, Pele, Ronaldo, Serena, Steffi, Tiger, Wambach

Like these greats, how can you stay calm in the storm?

 

How to Thrive amidst Chaos and Uncertainty

Here are 12 major things you can do to thrive in life and work amidst chaos and uncertainty:

 

Develop a Routine

Routines help you maintain a sense of normalcy. They give your life a rhythm and sense of stability even during jumbled days. Keep a consistent sleep schedule and exercise schedule, take regular breaks, and set clear work spans.

 

Lean on Good Habits

What helps get your mind off work? What energizes you? What restores and replenishes you? Is it walks? Reading? Hiking? Meditation? Prayer? Gardening? Yoga? Music? Lean on your good habits and you’ll find that they help you weather the storm.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Take Care of Your Health

Your health should be a non-negotiable top priority. You’ll need it all the more when things are in disarray. Don’t neglect these essential health practices:

  • Exercise & Movement: commit to daily movement—whether it’s a walk, stretch, or workout—to ground your mind, release stress, and reclaim a sense of control. It’s deeply restorative on many levels.
  • Food & Nutrition: nourish your body with a diverse array of natural foods to boost your energy and fuel your mind with essential nutrients and hydration.
  • Sleep: have a calming bedtime routine and stick to a consistent schedule, giving your mind and body the reset they need to face each day’s challenges. Poor sleep will only dampen your mood and prevent you from responding effectively to difficulties.
  • Getting Outside and Being in Nature: step outside—even briefly—to clear your head and notice the beauty around you. The natural rhythm of things. Go on walks, hikes, runs, bikes, or park, lake, or beach visits. And why not with a friend?

 

Connect with Friends and Loved Ones

Spending time with a trusted friend or colleague can raise your spirits and help you see challenges from a new perspective. The same is true for mutual support groups. (See our article, “The Power of Small Groups—And How to Run Them.”) Healthy support systems are like strong roots that keep you grounded, especially when life feels uncertain. Resist the temptation to shrink back into a cocoon. Loneliness and isolation are insidious.

 

Focus on What You Can Control

Uncertainty often triggers anxiety. You may feel like you’re losing control or unable to cope. Redirect your energy to things within your influence—like your schedule, mindset, habits, and responses.

 

Return to Your Safe Harbor

What are the things that ground you and bring you back home to yourself when there are stormy seas?

  • Do you have a clear sense of your purpose—of why you’re here and why you get up in the morning?
  • Are you aware of your core values—what’s most important to you and your core beliefs—and are you upholding them in your life?
  • To what extent are you using your strengths in your life and work?
  • Are you integrating your passions—things that consumes you with palpable emotion over time—into your life and work regularly?
  • To what extent are you engaging deeply with your faith or spirituality (e.g., through prayer, worship, contemplation, sanctuary, nature appreciation, fasting, or other practices and traditions)?

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Have a Bias toward Action

Avoid the trap of analysis paralysis. It’s likely to accelerate your anxiety. Choosing action over endless deliberation helps you regain momentum through the power of progress. Even small steps forward build confidence and reveal new learnings or possibilities.

 

Maintain Perspective

Rise above the fray and see the bigger picture to avoid getting lost in the weeds of confusion and setbacks. Recall that challenges are only part of the journey and not the whole story.

 

Keep Growing and Giving

Continue learning new skills. Reflect on what life may be teaching you. And don’t stop giving to others in ways large or small. When you remain committed to growth and generosity, you can shift from feeling powerless to purposeful.

 

Reframe Challenges as Growth Opportunities

Reframe things from difficulties or defeats to challenges or opportunities. Chances to learn and grow. Watch how managing your mindset can build your confidence and fuel your motivation.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Keep Your Hope Alive

Despite all the chaos and uncertainty, can you maintain a powerful and abiding hope that you’ll be okay and that things will get better if you stay the course and do your best? Why not choose hope and faith over resignation and despair?

 

Take Full Responsibility

Things may be tough for you now, and you may not have much visibility into how things will work out. Even so, are you taking full responsibility for the choices you make and for the conditions of your life—regardless of what has happened and why? It’s still your life to lead as you see fit.

 

More Things You Can Do

Beyond the major things above, there are also smaller but still impactful things you can do to help navigate the chaos and uncertainty. For example:

 

Conclusion

In the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty around us, you have more power than you think. Power to survive and thrive. By leading yourself well and engaging in renewal practices, you can create order and stability from the inside out. These practices don’t stop the storms, but they help you stand strong through them.

Will you be unstable and unmoored or resilient and ready for whatever life brings you? The choice is yours. Here’s to thriving amidst chaos and uncertainty. Wishing you well with it.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Thriving amidst Chaos and Uncertainty

  • “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance.” -Alan Watts, British philosopher
  • “In life itself, there is a time to seek inner peace, a time to rid oneself of tension and anxiety. The moment comes when the striving must let up, when wisdom says, ‘Be quiet.’ You’ll be surprised how the world keeps on revolving without your pushing it. And you’ll be surprised how much stronger you are the next time you decide to push.” -John W. Gardner, public official and political reformer
  • “Having a readily available sanctuary provides an indispensable physical anchor and source of sustenance. Too often under stress and pressed for time, our sources of sanctuary are the first places we give up.” -Ronald A. Heifetz and Marty Linsky, leadership authors
  • “At a deeper level, we need ‘sanctuary’ in our lives: places and practices of peace that restore our hearts. Places of quiet and tranquility. Together, renewal and sanctuary can lead to serenity. Beyond the striving, beyond the chase, beyond the willfulness, there is an acceptance, a yielding, a comfort with the present moment and a willingness to see things for what they are and ride with the flow of life. The serenity beyond the stress and struggle.” -Gregg Vanourek, “Ten Keys to Self-Leadership”

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Why You Should Do an Annual Life Review–And How

by

You’re probably familiar with an annual performance review. According to SHRM, about 71% of organizations conduct them.

But not many people have done an annual life review.

In a way, that’s odd because of the importance of our quality of life.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
-Socrates, ancient Greek philosopher

Those who do such reviews they tend to call them different things. Some call it an “annual life review.” Others call it a “personal annual review.” A friend and colleague of mine calls it his “annual look.” He’s been doing it regularly since 1977, and he swears by it.

The idea is to look back on the year and evaluate what’s gone well and what hasn’t—and to look ahead and plan for the year to come.

 

14 Benefits of Doing an Annual Life Review

Why do this? An annual life review can help you:

  1. gain clarity about how things are going in your life
  2. spot patterns (even otherwise hidden ones) in your life
  3. break out of “drifting mode” and live more intentionally
  4. get unstuck (and avoid feeling like you’re helpless or trapped)
  5. feel motivated to go after important priorities (e.g., better work and relationships)
  6. set better goals—or recalibrate them when needed
  7. celebrate your progress and accomplishments
  8. be mindful of what you’re grateful for
  9. identify areas where you want or need to improve
  10. examine key drivers of your life like your habits and systems
  11. boost your confidence and sense of agency over your life
  12. spot and track changes and progress from year to year
  13. set you up for action and momentum in the year to come
  14. create opportunities for breakthroughs in your life (e.g., when you disrupt a negative pattern and step into a bigger life with more success, joy, and fulfillment)

Writer Matthias Frank suggests that doing such an annual review will be “your highest leverage activity all year long.”

“When you review your year as a whole, seemingly unrelated parts of your life come into focus at once,
enabling you to connect the dots.”
–Fadeka Adegbuyi, writer and content strategist

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

How to Conduct an Annual Life Review: Time & Place

So how does this work? It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Before diving in, you’re wise to choose an appropriate setting for this reflective work. Find a place where you can focus and engage in undisturbed deep work.

“Reflection must be reserved for solitary hours.”
-Jane Austen, English novelist

Why not choose an inspiring setting, one that uplifts you? (Sometimes, it’s helpful to get away from your usual places.)

It’s important to set aside an ample amount of time. For me, it usually takes 2-3 hours, or half a day at most. You can do it all at once or break it into chunks (e.g., an hour at a time), as you wish. Don’t rush it.

Key point: be totally honest. There’s no sense in holding back or exaggerating things in your annual life review. This is for you and you alone.

 

Annual Life Review Template: Topics to Address

Once you’ve determined the time and place, you’ll want to turn to the questions and topics you’ll want to address. Though some may want to improvise and do a stream-of-consciousness review, for many people it helps to have some structure—or at least some starter questions to kick things off.

Here’s a template of sorts, with five sections:

 

1. Highlights from This Past Year

Take a look back and capture the bright spots of your year. Look across a wide range of things here, from relationships, experiences, accomplishments, and awards to hobbies, passion projects, courses, and fun surprises. Any new skills developed or people served? Perhaps a reflection on how you enjoyed seeing loved ones or colleagues thrive? Even your favorite books or movies from the year, if you like. You may want to identify your top highlights or accomplishments so they don’t get lost in the shuffle.

When I do my annual life review, I start by listing things in chronological order as they occurred throughout the year. I go through my calendar from the start of the year to the finish and note the relevant things. (You can also go through your photos for the year and relive those memories.) I’m always amazed at how quickly I forget or discount good things, how fun it is to bring them back to my attention, and how powerful it is to see them together. The collection tells a story.

You can also break it up by month to make it more digestible, as shown below.

January
  •   
February
  •   
March
  •   
April
  •   
(Etc.)
  •   

 

2. Challenges from This Past Year

Next, look at the difficulties. What did you struggle with? Where did you fall down?

Sometimes it’s cathartic to list them out. Also, it can be empowering to see all the things you’ve overcome. Or just appreciate the fact that you’re still standing despite the challenges.

Be sure to give yourself grace. The point is not to expect a perfect year. After all, this is life, with all its alluring and aggravating ups and downs. Best to approach this process with curiosity, openness, and self-compassion—and to avoid judgment and negative self-talk.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

3. Aspirations for Next Year

Next, write down your hopes and dreams for the year to come. Think broadly here. For example, consider addressing the following areas:

  • health
  • relationships
  • work
  • education
  • service
  • fun
  • financial
  • personal development

Consider not only new things you want to bring into your life but also existing things you want to improve. Identify the ones that matter most to you—the areas in which change would most improve your happiness, fulfillment, and well-being. Ask yourself this:

How can you make the next year a great one?

 

4. Gratitude and Joys

Now, turn your attention to the top things you’re grateful for from the year (or even in your whole life, if you wish) and what (or who) has brought you the most joy. This will be a fun one.

 

5. Themes and Lessons Learned

Finally, look for themes or patterns. For example, were relationships the drivers of the highs and lows? Have you struggled to set boundaries with people in a way that’s dragging you down in multiple areas? Are you avoiding dealing with important matters?

What lessons have you learned this year? Are there take-aways that you can carry forward?

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences,
and failing to achieve anything useful.”
–Margaret J. Wheatley, writer and teacher

(Note: In the five sections above, you can address both personal and professional matters together, if applicable, or you can separate them out. The key is to find what works best for you.)

 

Going Deeper on Your Annual Life Review: Extra Credit

If you want to go deeper with your annual life review, here are more things you can do that can be extremely valuable for the insights they provide:

 

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in key areas. This will help you identify your strongest areas and the areas that need work so you can act accordingly. For example, maybe you’re pleased with how things are going with your relationships and education but want to work on your health and finances? (Or vice versa.) (See my Quality of Life Assessment.)

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Traps Test: Common Traps of Living

What are the things that are inhibiting your happiness and quality of life? Are you struggling with negative self-talk? Self-doubt? Overthinking? Comparing yourself to others? Settling for an okay experience of life instead of fighting for a great one? (See my Traps Test.)

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Purpose Alignment Review

Is there a disconnect between the way you’re living and your purpose—your true reason for being? Or are they aligned? (See my article, “How to Discover Your Purpose.”)

“When we are clear about our purpose, or at least working toward it, our lives come together in powerful ways.”
–Christopher Gergen & Gregg Vanourek, LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives

 

Values Alignment Review

Are you building your life and time around what’s most important to you and upholding your deeply held beliefs? Or are you being pulled off course on these fronts? Are you honoring your core values? (See my Personal Values Exercise.)

“The more that we choose our goals based on our values and principles,
the more we enter into a positive cycle of energy, success, and satisfaction.”
-Neil Farber

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Vision Alignment Review

Are you living in accordance with or working toward a bold and vivid picture of a better future? In pursuit of your dream of a good life? (See my article, “How to Craft a Vision of the Good Life.”)

(The good life is) “living in the place you belong, with the people you love, doing the right work—on purpose.”
–Richard Leider and David Shapiro

 

Strengths Alignment Review

To what extent are you using your core strengths—the things you’re really good at—in your life and work? (See my Strengths Search.)

“Liberating and expressing your natural genius is your ultimate path to success and life satisfaction.”
–Gay Hendricks, psychologist and author

Strengths Search

We all have core strengths–the things in which we most excel. Take this self-assessment to determine your core strengths so you can integrate them more into your life and work.

Find Your Strengths

 

Passions Alignment Review

How prominent are the things that consume you with palpable emotion in your life—the things you love doing and that you find yourself circling back to? (See my Passion Probe.)

“Allow yourself to be silently guided by that which you love the most.”
-Rumi, 13th century poet and Sufi mystic

Passion Probe

Our passions are the things that consume us with palpable emotion over time. We love doing them and talk about them often. Take this self-assessment to find the ones that resonate most with you.

Find Your Passion

 

Goals Alignment Review

Are you not only clear about the desired results you’d like to achieve but also organizing your life and time accordingly? (See my Goals Guide: Best Practices in Setting and Pursuing Goals, and my Goal-Setting Template.)

“Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.”
–Brian Tracy, author and speaker

Power Tip: Share your annual life review with someone you trust. Better yet, exchange reviews with that person and talk them through together. It’s a great way to get to know someone on a deeper level. And it can also help you take action on things going forward—an accountability partnership of sorts.

 

Call to Action

Doing an annual life review can bring more clarity and energy into your life. It can set you up for more action and momentum as you look to thrive in the new year.

Wishing you well with it, and please let me know if I can help.
–Gregg

 

Tools for You

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Reflection and Annual Life Reviews

  • “There is one art of which people should be masters—the art of reflection.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge, English poet, philosopher, and theologian
  • “Before forging head-first into the future, take time to reflect on the past.” -Fadeka Adegbuyi, writer and content strategist
  • “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” -Peter Drucker, consultant, author, and expert on management and innovation
  • “I think technology is a wonderful thing that has to be used thoughtfully … What I am very disturbed about is this trend of everything happening faster and faster and there being more and more general noise in the world, and less and less time for quiet reflection on who we are, and where we’re going.” –Alan Lightman, physicist, educator, and writer
  • “In reflecting upon the year, do your best to examine and question, not dwell. You may have fallen short of your goals or experienced challenges that made for a hard year, but chances are you accomplished more than you think you did. No matter what you unearth in your annual review, you will have learned more about yourself and what you want in life and that counts for a lot. Reflect on the year gone by so you can move forward with renewed energy and optimism for all that’s to come.” -Fadeka Adegbuyi

 

Appendix: Other Approaches to an Annual Life Review

Of course, there are many different ways to do a life review, ranging from quite simple and straightforward to more detailed and complex. Below are two more examples.

Author James Clear keeps it simple. He calls it his “Annual Review,” and each year he addresses three simple but powerful questions:

What went well this year?
What didn’t go so well this year?
What did I learn this year?

(In 2017, he changed the third question from “What am I working toward?” to “What did I learn this year?”)

(My Annual Review) “will give me a chance to take stock of what went well and what could have gone better, while also giving me a moment to enjoy the progress I’ve made over the past 12 months.
But it’s not just about looking back. A good Annual Review is also about looking toward the future and thinking about how the life I’m living now is building toward a bigger mission. Basically, my Annual Review forces me to look at my actions over the past 12 months and ask, ‘Are my choices helping me live the life I want to live?’”
-James Clear, “My 2013 Annual Review”

By contrast, executive coach Steve Schlafman uses a more comprehensive approach with the following topics:

  • Noting Your Key Moments & Milestones
  • Reflecting on & Examining Key Topics:
    • Success & Growth (e.g., biggest successes, how you grew, good habits, new skills, biggest obstacles you overcame, best decisions, risks and rewards)
    • Failure & Falling Short (e.g., biggest failures, goals you didn’t reach, bad habits, worst decisions)
    • People & Relationships (e.g., healthy new relationships, most impactful relationship, ones you value most)
    • Lessons & Themes (e.g., top lessons learned, peak moments, worst moments, short summary of the year, what you’re most thankful for)
  • Assessing Your Life in Key Areas (i.e., health, family/friends, love, money, career, spirituality, personal growth, fun, technology, environment)
  • Planning for the New Year in Key Areas:
    • Goals & Growth (e.g., three big goals for the year, new skills to develop, a superpower you plan to use to achieve your goals, how you want to be different by the end of the year, who you want to become)
    • Moving On (e.g., what you want or need to stop doing)
    • Habits & Behaviors (e.g., habits you’ll start, stop, and continue)
    • Fears & Obstacles (e.g., how you’ll face your fears, obstacles you’ll address)
    • Relationships (e.g., who warrants more attention, who you want a new relationship with, who you’ll help)
    • Next Steps & Planning (e.g., next steps you’ll take toward your goals, resources needed, who you’ll ask for help, how to create early wins, how to evaluate progress)

Think about which format works best for you. And feel free to design your own, either from scratch or by building on, combining, or tweaking the approaches above. The key thing is to do something that will help you reflect, plan, and take action.

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Getting to the Root Causes of Things: Why and How

by

A brilliant but troubled young man from a tough neighborhood in south Boston is working as a janitor at an elite technical university. Despite his incredible potential, he plans to stick around with his childhood buddies and not use his gifts. His therapist comes from the same neighborhood and is fascinated by the smug young prodigy.

Sound familiar? It’s the plot of the acclaimed film, “Good Will Hunting,” of course, starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Ben Affleck, and Minnie Driver. And it’s also a case study in root causes.

In their first session, Will shocked his therapist, Dr. Sean Maguire, played by Robin Williams, with cutting observations about him based on his painting on the wall. When they met a few days later at the park, Sean told Will that, while he’s brilliant, he’s just a kid. Though he knows an astonishing amount of facts and figures, he really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Will hasn’t traveled outside of Boston. He hasn’t yet experienced the things of the world that bring you deep wisdom, or real love with a partner.

Sean sees that, though Will has incredible intellectual abilities feeding his crass self-assurance, he’s really just lost and afraid. Sean asks him:

“You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally… I don’t give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can’t learn anything from you, I can’t read in some f*ckin’ book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t want to do that do you sport? You’re terrified of what you might say.”

Will, perhaps for the first time in his life, had the tables turned on him. Later, in an emotional exchange in Sean’s office, they trade stories of their violent fathers. Will recently broke up with his girlfriend and suspects that Sean will give him some textbook theories about attachment disorder or fear of abandonment.

But Sean does something surprising. He drops Will’s psych file on the desk and says, “It’s not your fault.”

Will says he knows that. But Sean keeps repeating it, over and over. Until it finally cracks Will’s heart open and the pain comes streaming through—and healing.

They’d finally gotten to the root of it.

 

What Are You Struggling With?

Think about whether there are any recurring patterns or challenges in your life. (If so, welcome to the human race. You’re not alone.) Common ones include feeling stuck in your career and struggling with things like money, body image, self-doubt, or toxic relationships.

Have you, like Sean and Will, gotten to the root of it?

When you’re passed over for a promotion, your first response might be to blame your ungrateful manager. Upon further reflection, though, you might realize that you’re deflecting responsibility. Without understanding and addressing the root cause, you’re stuck spinning unhelpful stories and playing the victim.

Are your financial woes really about your stingy boss or your mindset, habits, and choices?
Are your health problems really about your stressful job or about your numbing of deeper issues?

Difficult issues, for sure, but how long will they go on if you’re not addressing them at the right level?

When your yard has weeds, do you mow over them, or do you get down in the dirt and grab them by the root?

You may notice that many of the traps of living—the things that inhibit our happiness and quality of life—come with common root causes. Examples:

  • Having a victim mentality often stems from difficult experiences or trauma, leading you to feel powerless and believe that other people or outside circumstances dictate the terms of your life.
  • Blaming often originates in fear of vulnerability or failure. You may have learned to deflect responsibility as a coping mechanism to protect your self-image or avoid the irritation of accountability.
  • People-pleasing often stems from a desire for approval and acceptance, perhaps caused by early experiences of conditional love or approval. Maybe you internalized the message that your worth depends on meeting others’ expectations.
  • Workaholism can come from a need for achievement, perhaps driven by difficult or embarrassing situations early in life. Parental, peer, or societal pressures that equate success with achievement can fuel it. Your excessive work may be a means to gain control or validation.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

9 Tips to Help You Discover Root Causes

Here are nine things you can do when engaging in root cause analysis:

1. Use the “five whys” questioning technique to get beyond surface-level symptoms and drill down to root causes. When you encounter a problem, ask “Why?” five times. That inquiry can help take you down to the underlying issue. (See the “Practice” section below for more on this.)

2. Recognize that, while it may be tempting to externalize the problem and shift the blame, the root cause is often internal. Keep your focus on how and why things have happened instead of on who’s causing you difficulty. That way, you’ll focus on things you can control and avoid going down the rabbit holes of blaming and victimhood. Consider whether the root cause has to do with your mindset, beliefs, choices, attitudes, or habits.

3. Think about several challenges you’ve experienced and see if there’s a pattern. Sometimes, by looking at a series of things, you can trace them back to a common denominator. For example, it could be a fear of looking bad or of failing.

4. Challenge your limiting beliefs. Identify your limiting beliefs and then dig deeper into the assumptions behind them and consider where they come from. For example, if you believe you’re damaged goods, a failure, or not worthy of love, think about whether you somehow got the message that you need to act a certain way or achieve at a certain level to be a good person.

5. Note that while getting to the root cause is ideal, sometimes you may need immediate relief. In some cases, it’s helpful to address acute problems to give yourself more running room.

6. Note that there may be multiple root causes. Sometimes, there’s a confluence of factors causing you pain. If you’re experiencing anxiety, for example, it may stem from life events, personality traits, peer pressure, cultural influences, childhood upbringing and parenting approaches, genetic factors, and/or brain chemistry imbalances.

7. Don’t do this alone. Seek help from trusted friends and colleagues, a small, supportive group, or a therapist. That will help you identify blind spots, bring in fresh perspectives, and challenge your assumptions.

8. Look for ways to prevent the root causes from coming up in the future. For example, getting to the bottom of why you feel stuck in your career can help you identify key issues, such as a lack of clear and compelling career goals, insufficient skill development, and fear of change. Perhaps your lack of clarity stems from not taking the time to reflect on your core values, strengths, passions, and aspirations. And maybe your lack of skill development stems from complacency or an overfull schedule.

9. Also look for the root causes of your victories and successes, not just your defeats and failures. Doing so can help you continue having good results and also port those approaches to other areas of your life.

 

Conclusion

Engaging in root cause analysis is vital to success and wellbeing. By understanding the underlying factors that contribute to your struggles, you can implement targeted approaches to address them, leading to better outcomes. This proactive approach can enhance your self-awareness and your personal and professional growth. By committing to this reflective process, you can finally unshackle yourself from the things that have been holding you back.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Reflection Questions

  1. Do you have recurring problems or challenges that are holding you back?
  2. Have you identified their root causes?
  3. What more will you do, starting today?

 

Tools for You

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Root Causes

  • “When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves.” -Anthony J. D’Angelo, author
  • “Negative thinking is subtle and deceptive. It wears many faces and hides behind the mask of excuses. It is important to strip away the mask and discover the real, root emotion.” -Robert H. Schuller, pastor
  • “We lack emotional connection even when we are surrounded by other people. This feeling of being profoundly alone is the root cause of unhappiness in the human race. It is the root cause of addictions. It is the root cause of suicide. It is the root cause of acts of terror. And it is the root of the dysfunction in the way society is structured.” -Teal Swan, author

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Practice: Using “Five Whys” to Identify the Root Cause

In the 1930s, Japanese inventor and industrialist Sakichi Toyoda developed a questioning technique known as the “five whys” method to improve manufacturing processes as part of the Toyota Production System. With this now-famous and widely used method, workers ask why at least five times when they encounter a problem, helping them discover and address the root cause of the problem instead of addressing surface-level symptoms.

Here’s how it works: When you encounter a problem, ask why it’s occurring, and then answer that. Then ask why again, and answer that. And so on, five times.

The idea is to encourage people to go deep enough and not stop too soon. But in reality, five isn’t a magic number, and the deeper why questioning process can end with any number of whys. But five is a good proxy for going deep.

Here’s an example:

  1. Why does Alicia feel stuck in her career? Because she hasn’t taken on any new responsibilities lately.
  2. Why? Because her current workload feels overwhelming.
  3. Why? Because she spends a lot of time people-pleasing and managing tasks that could be delegated.
  4. Why? Because she worries that her team members might not complete them to her standards.
  5. Why? Because she has perfectionistic tendencies and control issues.

Another example:

  1. Why isn’t our new product selling well? Because customers aren’t making repeat purchases.
  2. Why? Because they’re dissatisfied with the product’s performance.
  3. Why? Because it doesn’t meet their expectations set by our marketing claims.
  4. Why? Because they overhyped the product and didn’t do sufficient testing before launch.
  5. Why? Because there was pressure to launch too quickly due to the upcoming board meeting.

 

Appendix: Examples of Getting to the Root Causes of Things

Example: Missing Motivation. Marcus is unhappy with his job. His motivation disappeared years ago. Lately, he finds himself procrastinating and missing deadlines, which never used to happen. It’s leading to guilt and stress. Unbeknownst to him, what’s really going on beneath it all is that Marcus resents feeling undervalued. Two years ago, he was coldly overlooked for a well-deserved promotion and felt humiliated. Today, he’s filled with frustration and self-doubt—and thinking about resigning.

Example: Careening Career. Maria has been in the same work role for years but feels unfulfilled. And resentful. Despite her years of experience, she avoids seeking new opportunities because she fears she won’t be taken seriously. A previous boss dismissed her ideas callously, causing her to doubt her abilities. Today, she remains stuck in a position that bores her, feeling frustrated and trapped.

Example: Lost Leadership. When Catherine discovers that her team is missing its quarterly sales goals, she implements stricter sales quotas and adds daily check-ins. What she’s missing is that her team lacks confidence when selling because they don’t fully understand the new product’s features and functionality, and they don’t feel comfortable coming to her. Unbeknownst to her, Catherine’s task-driven approach comes across as cold and uncaring.

Example: Rocky Relationship. Cynthia and Thomas have been arguing a lot lately. They’ve been fighting about all sorts of things—the dishes, the kids, the budget, the yard. And things are escalating quickly to shouting storms. They’re frustrated and caught in a cycle of mutual blame. And they’re too busy finding fault with each other to step back and notice that, for a long time, Cynthia has felt unappreciated despite doing more around the house, and Tom feels unsupported in his stressful career.

Example: Nonprofit Nosedive. A nonprofit organization is experiencing a severe drop in participation at its events. In response, they’re ramping up their marketing efforts and changing their event formats. What they’re missing is that many families in the new demographic they’re targeting don’t have access to reliable transportation.

Example: Startup Struggles. An app development startup has a talented and dedicated team, but they’ve been missing important milestones lately—a shock to all. While they continue to blame individuals, the real problem is a lack of defined roles within the team, coupled with poor communication. Without clarity, their efforts are often redundant. Meanwhile, projects fall behind, clients get frustrated, and team members lose their enthusiasm.

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

Sign Up Now

 

+++++++++++++++++

Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

Why Self-Awareness Is So Important–And How to Develop It

by

Article Summary: 

Self-awareness is critical in our life, work, and relationships, but many of us struggle with it. How to develop self-awareness.

+++

To be self-aware is to have a good understanding of ourselves, including conscious knowledge of our feelings, motives, and desires. Self-awareness (also known as self-knowledge) involves having a clear, accurate, and deep understanding of our emotions, values, strengths, and weaknesses. It also involves having a realistic view of ourselves, including a good and true sense of how we’re coming across to others.

In her book, Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think, organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich defines self-awareness as “the ability to see ourselves clearly to understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world around us.” She calls it the “meta-skill of the 21st century.” It may be an important skill in this century, but we’ve known about the importance of self-awareness for millennia.

“Know thyself.”
-inscribed on the temple wall at Delphi, 6th century BCE

According to researchers, there are two types:

  1. Internal (or private) self-awareness is about how clearly we see ourselves and whether we notice and reflect on our own internal state.
  2. External (or public) self-awareness is about being aware of how we appear to others.

 

Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness is closely associated with emotional intelligence (EQ). Pioneering psychologist Daniel Goleman considers self-awareness one of the four domains of emotional intelligence (along with self-management, social awareness, and relationship management)—and emphasizes that it’s the foundation for the other three.

According to Goleman, self-awareness involves certain personal competences, including:

  • Accurate self-assessment: knowing our strengths and weaknesses
  • Emotional self-awareness: reading our own emotions and recognizing their impact
  • Self-confidence: having a good sense of our capabilities and self-worth

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

The Consequences of Lacking Self-Awareness

When we lack self-awareness, we have blind spots that get us into trouble, and we don’t know the underlying reasons for our actions. As a result, we’re likely to keep making the same mistakes, and we’ll be less likely to take responsibility for them, damaging our credibility.

Think of the compulsive talkers who don’t let others get a word in during conversations, unaware that people find it off-putting because it shows a lack of interest in others. Consider the frequent criticizers who spend so much time judging others instead of addressing their own issues.

Think of the people who keep bringing up politics out of the blue and saying things that hurt or offend the people around them without realizing it. Consider the people who speak loudly in public places, unaware that they’re disturbing everyone around them.

Think about the reserved introvert who unintentionally comes across as aloof or uninterested. Note the chronic complainer who never asks others how they’re doing. Consider the perpetual dreamers who never get around to the things they need to do to get started.

We’re all flawed—and prone to self-deception—so we should approach these cases with empathy and grace. But in many cases, a little self-awareness would go a long way toward helping people get out of their own way.

“Knowledge of the self is the mother of all knowledge. So it is incumbent on me to know my self, to know it completely, to know its minutiae, its characteristics, its subtleties, and its very atoms.”
-Khalil Gibran, Lebanese writer and poet

 

20 Benefits of Developing Self-Awareness

The good news is that we can develop self-awareness, even if we’re low on it (as many are). Having a high level of self-awareness can help us in many ways. For example, it can:

  1. help us see our blind spots for the first time—or see them more clearly
  2. improve our decision-making
  3. help us communicate more effectively
  4. increase our confidence
  5. help us manage stress
  6. enhance our sense of personal control
  7. help us develop our social intelligence and relational awareness, in the process improving our relationships
  8. help us avoid wearing a mask or creating a persona that lacks authenticity
  9. increase our happiness and fulfillment
  10. help us recognize the ruts we’ve fallen into
  11. help us use more of our potential
  12. enhance our influence
  13. facilitate higher job satisfaction
  14. improve our ethical behavior, making us less likely to lie, cheat, or steal
  15. help us avoid looking to others too much for what we should do
  16. help us find good work that’s a good fit for us—and know what work we should avoid
  17. help us understand what makes us come alive and what drains us
  18. help us discover our purpose and what feels meaningful
  19. help us answer the question of what we should do with our lives based on what we’re good at and how we can best add value to others
  20. help us connect with our dreams, including a vision of our ideal self, in the process invoking our energy and excitement for life

Developing our self-awareness is a necessary step in honoring our nature and becoming who we want to be instead of conforming to the desires of others. It’s also a necessary step in developing self-acceptance and self-compassion. Developing self-awareness also helps illuminate our “shadow side”—the parts of our personality that we don’t want to admit—which is a necessary part of human development.

Quality of Life Assessment

Evaluate your quality of life in ten key areas by taking our assessment. Discover your strongest areas, and the areas that need work, then act accordingly.

Take the Assessment

 

Why Self-Awareness Can Be So Hard

Dr. Tasha Eurich and her colleagues researched self-awareness via multiple investigations with nearly 5,000 participants. She describes their results as follows:

“…even though most people believe they are self-aware, self-awareness is a truly rare quality:
We estimate that only 10-15% of the people we studied actually fit the criteria.”

Why is this so hard? Several reasons.

We’re subject to all sorts of influences from our family and friends, and from our culture, that cause us to question who we are and pull us away from it. We’re confused by the cultural influences that don’t align with our own values. Sometimes, we end up defaulting to the values given to us by our parents, peers, or culture (e.g., values related to money or success) and rarely take the time for self-inquiry—or to consider the downsides of those values and whether there may be better alternatives.

It’s hard to admit our weaknesses and face them. Being self-aware often hurts, so we tend to avoid it. This is the work of our fragile ego in defense mode.

We’re used to hiding tender parts of ourselves when we don’t feel safe admitting or revealing who we really are. We fear harsh judgment by ourselves or others.

We’re too busy or overscheduled, so we don’t take time for reflection and introspection.

We tend to default to emotion-driven interpretations of events and encounters instead of pausing to reflect on our inner state and how we may have contributed to things.

We’re accustomed to leaping right into action instead of having the patience and humility to inquire into the deeper reasons for things and our self-sabotaging patterns.

We feel uncomfortable with the cognitive dissonance between the messiness of reality and our perfectionistic tendencies. It’s too painful to look at our shortcomings, so we remain in denial.

 

How to Develop Self-Awareness

Clearly, developing self-awareness is difficult, for many reasons. But given all its powerful benefits, it’s worth our focused and ongoing attention.

So, how to develop self-awareness? Before answering that, we’re wise to ask: Awareness of what, exactly? What does self-awareness include? Ideally, it includes our life story, purpose, values, vision, strengths, passions, emotions, motivations, needs, desires, successes, curiosities, weaknesses, shadow sides, traps, vulnerabilities, and blind spots.

Given that, here are things we can do to facilitate greater self-awareness:

Develop a propensity for frequent self-reflection (1), including taking time to reflect on meetings or other encounters and their emotional wake. Also, pay attention to what we love and long for, and what makes us come alive. This requires a commitment to self-inquiry and an intentional discovery process (what I call “discover mode”), including listening to our inner voice.

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.”
-Frederick Buechner, Presbyterian minister, theologian, and writer

Seek input and guidance from family, friends, mentors, and coaches. Ask for honest feedback, including about our weaknesses and blind spots. At work, this should include “360-degree reviews.”

Convene a small group to facilitate deep conversations about meaningful things in members’ lives. Make sure the conversation includes self-reflection with input from the group, so participants have a chance to consider new insights in a safe environment and search for patterns.

“…inner work, though it’s a deeply personal matter, is not necessarily a private matter:
inner work can be helped along by community.”
-Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

Try using the Johari Window. It’s a framework that helps us identify what’s known to ourselves (or not) and what’s known to others about us (or not). See the image below.

Source: Adobe Stock

For many of us, we don’t let many people see our true selves (limiting what shows up in the upper left “Arena” quadrant). Also, we may have several blind spots—things that are known by others about us that we’re not aware of (in the upper right quadrant). Consider writing down ten words that describe yourself (your main characteristics) and then having one or more people who know you well do the same for you. Then, compare the lists to see the extent of overlap on the different lists. One goal of this work is to get us to show more about ourselves to others, in the process shrinking how much of ourselves we hide or that remains unknown to others.

Journal intentionally, since it can help us reflect on our feelings and experiences, sometimes uncovering insights or patterns.

Take time for renewal and sanctuary, including daily restorative activities (e.g., gardening or yoga) and places or practices of peace that help us recenter our hearts. Without time for renewal and sanctuary, we’ll be too scattered and frazzled to maintain self-awareness.

Take assessments that facilitate our self-awareness and personal growth. Examples include:

 

Conclusion

Self-awareness is sometimes painful—like when we discover hard truths about how others see us or first learn about major blind spots. Still, it’s well worth it. Without self-awareness, we’re likely to fall into several traps—and perhaps remain in them unknowingly, blind to our unhappy predicament.

Developing self-awareness can help facilitate real growth and development—and sometimes breakthroughs. We can only grow and develop when we have the courage to admit the traps we’re in and acknowledge our shadow side.

As we commit or recommit to developing our self-awareness, we’re wise to consider where many people get it wrong and trip up. Here are three final cautions about this process of becoming more self-aware:

First, self-awareness isn’t only about introspection and talk. The real value comes when we take action in the world based on a high level of self-awareness, such as when we build our life and work around our strengths and find viable workarounds for our weaknesses and blind spots, like asking for help from people who are strong in those areas.

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”
-Witold Gombrowicz, Polish writer

Second, self-awareness isn’t only about the self. It’s also about the self in the larger context of our lives, including our family, friends, community, work, convictions, and commitments. As Quaker teacher Douglas Steere wisely noted, the ancient question “Who am I?” inevitably leads to the question “Whose am I?”

Third, our identities aren’t fixed. We’re multifaceted and dynamic, so our self-awareness needs to keep up with the changes in our inner and outer lives. New challenges and changes will continue—both imposed on us and chosen by us—giving us opportunities for more depth and insight in our quest to know ourselves so we can live more fully and freely.

 

Reflection Questions

  1. How well do you know yourself, and how can you be sure?
  2. Do you keep falling into old traps and patterns that hold you back, indicating that you may have some blind spots?
  3. Are you asking for feedback regularly and truly being open to it?

 

Tools for You

Personal Values Exercise

Complete this exercise to identify your personal values. It will help you develop self-awareness, including clarity about what’s most important to you in life and work, and serve as a safe harbor for you to return to when things are tough.

Take the Exercise

 

Related Articles

“How can man know himself? It is a dark, mysterious business…. It is also an agonizing, hazardous undertaking thus to dig into oneself, to climb down toughly and directly into the tunnels of one’s being…. Let the young soul survey its own life with a view of the following question: ‘What have you truly loved thus far? What has ever uplifted your soul, what has dominated and delighted it at the same time?’ Assemble these revered objects in a row before you and perhaps they will reveal a law by their nature and their order: the fundamental law of your very self. Compare these objects, see how they complement, enlarge, outdo, transfigure one another; how they form a ladder on whose steps you have been climbing up to yourself so far….”
-Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher

 

Related Books and Videos

  • Christopher Gergen & Gregg Vanourek, LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (esp. Chapter 3)
  • Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
  • Tasha Eurich, Insight: The Surprising Truth about How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More than We Think
  • William L. Sparks, “The Power of Self-Awareness,” TEDx Asheville
  • Tasha Eurich, “Increase Your Self-Awareness with One Simple Fix,” TEDx Mile High

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Self-Awareness

  • “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” -Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher
  • “Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” -Epictetus, ancient Greek Stoic philosopher
  • “Full wise is he that can himself know.” -Chaucer, 14th century British storyteller
  • “If a man does not know himself, how should he know his functions and his powers?” -Michel de Montaigne, 16th century French Renaissance philosopher and writer
  • “Self-knowledge is best learned, not by contemplation, but by action. Strive to do your duty and you will soon discover of what stuff you are made.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer, poet, scientist, and statesman
  • “The purpose of life seems to be to acquaint man with himself.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th century American essayist
  • “…the world’s wisdom traditions offer a valuable secret. They teach that the unsettled mind comes about through one thing only: losing sight of who we really are…. The answer lies in finding out who you really are—a conscious agent who can choose, at any time, to live from the level of the true self.” -Deepak Chopra, spiritual teacher and author
  • “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” -Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
  • “Most folks go through most days on automatic pilot and don’t reflect upon it. When you say, ‘Why did I do that? What was that in service to inside of me? What old button, or issue, or agenda did that hit in me? When have I been here before?’ these are questions that begin to open up the mechanism working within each of us. And through that, you gain some greater sense of self-awareness. And with that, the potential for a great sense of freedom in how you live your life.” -James Hollis, quoted in Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
  • “The deepest vocational question is not ‘What ought I to do with my life?’ It is the more elemental and demanding ‘Who am I? What is my nature?’” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak
  • “To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else.” -Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
  • “Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening. I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about—quite apart from what I would like it to be about—or my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intentions…. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live—but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.” -Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

(1) Caution: introspection is helpful but can sometimes lead us astray, especially when we use it to ask the wrong questions. Based on data from her research on the most self-aware people, organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich recommends asking ourselves “what” instead of “why” questions to improve the value of our introspection. The “why” questions (e.g., “Why do I feel so bad?”), she notes, often concern unconscious thoughts, feelings, and motives, and our instincts about them are often wrong. What’s more, those “why” questions tend to invite negative thought patterns, including rumination. Better questions, she proposes, are “what” questions: “What are the situations that make me feel bad? What do they have in common? What are the patterns?” Those “what” questions are more likely to lead to productive insights. (Source: Tasha Eurich, “What Self-Awareness Really Is (And How to Cultivate It),” Harvard Business Review, January 4, 2018.)

Crafting Your Life and Work Course

Regain clarity, direction, and motivation for your next chapter, starting with a powerful foundation of self-awareness and commitment to your values and aspirations.

Learn More

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, and TEDx speaker on personal development and leadership. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for living with purpose and passion) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Crafting Your Life & Work online course or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!

The Common Traps of Living: Which Are You In?

by
face and hands being buried

We all want a good life. To be healthy and happy. We want to love and be loved. To have experiences, enjoy comforts, and do certain things before we die.

All well and good. But too often we focus on what to do to get the things we want in life—and not enough on what not to do.

That’s where the common traps of living come in—the things that inhibit us from leading the life we want.

We all fall into traps in life. All of us. Moms. Dads. Leaders. Professionals. Interns. Students. Retirees. Geniuses. Dopes.

We all fall into traps in life.

Photo by Christopher Windus on Unsplash
photo by Christopher Windus on Unsplash

The point is not to beat ourselves up for not living perfectly. Nobody does.

Rather, the point is to recognize the traps we’re in—and get busy climbing out. Too often, we go through long stretches of our lives in several traps pretending like all is well when it’s not. The sooner we address our traps and stop avoiding them, the better.

 

Common Traps of Living

Below are 15 of the most common traps of living, based on my data set of more than 900 people around the world who have taken my Traps Test as of August 2023. As you read through them, note which ones have affected you.

  1. Overthinking: excessively analyzing something, dwelling on possibilities and second-guessing.
  2. Overwork: working too much consistently despite negative effects on other priorities; potential burnout or work addiction
  3. Negative Self-Talk: inner dialogue that makes you feel flawed, unacceptable, or not enough.
  4. Postponing: deferring plans or dreams because it’s not practical or “the right time.”
  5. Self-Doubt: lacking confidence or questioning your capabilities and potential.
  6. Comparing: measuring yourself against others and judging your worth by how you stack up.
  7. Perfectionism: setting unrealistic expectations for yourself or others or needing things to be flawless.
  8. Indecision: wavering between different courses of action and having trouble deciding and moving on.
  9. Fear: holding back or not trying important things due to fears about failure or threats to image.
  10. Avoidance: not facing up to difficult tasks, situations, or conflicts.
  11. Numbing: shutting out feelings by keeping yourself preoccupied with other things (e.g., work, technology, substances).
  12. Complacency: allowing yourself to lose urgency and motivation.
  13. Settling: accepting significantly less than what you want or deserve.
  14. Not Moving On: holding on too long to a bad situation or relationship and not advancing forward.
  15. Catastrophizing: assuming the worst and blowing things out of proportion.

(Take my Traps Test to see the full list of the common traps of living.)

Which traps have you fallen into? Are there any which are pressing now?

Photo by Tom Chrostek on Unsplash
Photo by Tom Chrostek on Unsplash

See my Traps Test to find out your top traps—and then get to work on climbing out of them.

Take the Traps Test

We all fall into traps in life. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it, and we can’t get out of traps we don’t know we’re in. Evaluate yourself with our Traps Test.

Take the Test

 

Reflection Questions

  1. What are your top traps?
  2. And what will you do about them, starting today?
“It was one thing to make a mistake; it was another thing to keep making it.”
-Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

P.S. – This always works best when you talk it through openly with others. We all fall into traps, and we all have work to do. So get busy with the important work of intentional personal development.

Reach out if you think I may be able to help.

 

Tools for You

 

Related Articles

 

Postscript: Inspirations on Traps of Living

  • “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” -Ernest Hemingway, novelist
  • “In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet, if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.” -Robert T. Kiyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad
  • “There is more to learn from mistakes than from successes.” -Richard Branson, entrepreneur
  • “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” -Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.” -Brandon Mull, Fablehaven
  • “Being broken is what makes us human. We all have our reasons. Sometimes we’re fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we’re shattered by things we would never have chosen. But our brokenness is also the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning, and healing.” -Bryan Stevenson, social justice activist

(Note: This article has been updated several times as I’ve learned more from my global data set of people taking my Traps Test.)

Gregg Vanourek’s Newsletter

Join our rapidly growing community. Sign up now and get monthly inspirations (new articles, opportunities, and resources). Welcome!

Sign Up Now

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Gregg Vanourek is a writer, teacher, TEDx speaker, and coach on leadership and personal development. He is co-author of three books, including LIFE Entrepreneurs: Ordinary People Creating Extraordinary Lives (a manifesto for integrating our life and work with purpose, passion, and contribution) and Triple Crown Leadership: Building Excellent, Ethical, and Enduring Organizations (a winner of the International Book Awards). Check out his Best Articles or get his monthly newsletter. If you found value in this article, please forward it to a friend. Every little bit helps!